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搞笑厕所对联集锦搞笑厕所对联集锦 来源:网络 文章作者:佚名 上:天下英雄豪杰到此俯首称臣。 下:世间贞烈女子进来宽衣解裙 横批:天地正气. 上:脚踏黄河两岸手拿机密文件, 下:前面机枪扫射后面炮火连天. 横批:爽 上:大开方便之门, 下:解决后股之忧, 横批:众屎之地 上:有小便,宜; 下:得大解,脱, 横批:鞠躬尽瘁 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original...

搞笑厕所对联集锦
搞笑厕所对联集锦 来源:网络 文章作者:佚名 上:天下英雄豪杰到此俯首称臣。 下:世间贞烈女子进来宽衣解裙 横批:天地正气. 上:脚踏黄河两岸手拿机密文件, 下:前面机枪扫射后面炮火连天. 横批:爽 上:大开方便之门, 下:解决后股之忧, 横批:众屎之地 上:有小便,宜; 下:得大解,脱, 横批:鞠躬尽瘁 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 上:畅通上下, 下:雅集东西。 横批:新陈代谢 上:来前百步紧, 下:出后一身松。 横批:愉悦身心 上:静坐觅诗句, 下:放松听清泉。 横批:清静世界 苏东坡对联逗长老 来源:中国民间故事网 文章作者:佚名 一日中午,苏东坡去拜访一位老和尚。老和尚正忙着作菜,刚把煮好的鱼 端上桌,就听到小和尚禀报:苏东坡先生来访。 和尚怕把吃鱼的秘密暴露,情急生智,把鱼扣在一口磬中,便急忙出门迎 接客人。两人同至禅房喝茶,苏东坡喝茶时,闻到阵阵鱼香,又见到桌上反扣 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 的磬,心中有数了。因为磬是和尚做佛事用的一种打击乐器,平日都是口朝上 ,今日反扣着,必有蹊跷。 这时,老和尚说:「居士今日光临,不知有何见教,」 苏东坡有意开老和尚玩笑,装着一本正经的样子说:「在下今日遇到一难 题,特来向长老请教。」 老和尚连忙双手合十说:「阿弥陀佛,岂敢,岂敢。」 苏东坡笑了笑说:「今日友人出了一对联,上联是『向阳门第春常在』, 在下一时对不出下联,望长老赐教。」 老和尚不知是计,脱口而出:「居士『才高八斗,学富五车』,今日怎麽 这健忘,这是一副老对联,下联是『积善人家庆有馀』。」 苏东坡不由得哈哈大笑:「既然长老明示『磬(庆)有鱼(馀)』,我就来大 饱口福吧~」 苏东坡让道 来源:中华书画网 文章作者:佚名 某日,宋代大学士苏东坡郊游,见众多农夫在挑塘泥肥田。他信步走到一条小田埂上,不想迎面碰上一挑泥农妇。二人相对,各不让路。苏学士出大言道:“万般皆下品,惟有读书高。吾乃读书之人,汝妇当让道于我。”妇人一笑,说center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 道:“既自称读书人,当能对,”东坡说:“胸藏斗牛,当然能对~”妇人于是脱口而出:“一担重泥挡子路。” 苏东坡大惊,半晌无言以对,两旁田埂上送泥返回的人都望着他的窘态,哈哈大笑。苏东坡见此情景,忽有所悟,赶忙“借梯”下台对道:“两行夫子笑颜回。” 他虽然对了下联,但心有余悸。心想,村野之中竟有如此聪颖农妇,再不能等闲视之,而作此狂态。遂脱鞋袜下水田,拱手让路。 苏东坡和佛印禅师 来源:中华书画网 文章作者:佚名 苏东坡性喜交朋结友自谓上自王公大臣下至乞儿妓女无不可做朋友。在他的一生中曾广泛结交和尚道士特别是与佛印禅师极为友好你来我往亲密无间留下许多轶事趣闻。 佛印禅师自幼饱读经史博学多才。熙宁年间因准备参加礼部考试始前来京师暂住。那时东坡在直史馆任职佛印慕名来访受到礼遇。他们一见如故互相敬重又经常一起论文赋诗遂成了莫逆之交。 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 为了一饱眼福而做了和尚 一天佛印邀东坡上樊楼品茗。谈笑间东坡悄悄告诉佛印:”最近皇上因见天时亢旱要在大相国寺设斋求雨命愚兄写作《祈雨斋文》充当主斋行礼官协助操办一切。”佛印听了很高兴说:”请兄长设法带小弟进去观礼一睹御驾龙颜开开眼界不知可否 ”东坡明知此事不好办一旦泄漏出去便有欺君之罪。但友情难却便耳语说:”足下想去也未尝不可。只消扮成侍者模样在斋坛上执役待圣驾临幸时便可看个够。”佛印为了一饱眼福满口赞成东坡回去也作了安排。 这大相国寺殿宇宏大气势雄伟。天王殿、大雄宝殿、八角罗汉殿、藏经楼一座座庄严壮丽的建筑依次巍峙。两边还有钟楼、鼓楼东西配殿和16丈高的砖砌楼阁式琉璃塔。当时定为皇家寺院共有禅院64座铜铸罗汉五百尊还有高二丈的木雕千手千眼观世音巨像。该寺共有僧人逾千被誉为”天下第一名刹”。 举行祈雨典礼那天五鼓鸣钟聚众各路高僧登坛诵经作法祈求甘雨以救万民。其时香烟缭绕灯烛辉煌幡幢五彩飘扬乐器八音嘹亮。忽传御驾已到慌得佛印面热心跳。过了好一会才心神稍定来到大雄宝殿杂于侍者当中添香剪烛。 再说那神宗皇帝坐着龙凤轿子在执宰大臣的簇拥下出了宣德门经过御道来到大相国寺。东坡和众僧列队跪接迎入大殿。礼毕驾临藏经楼休憩佛印献上香茶。 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 原来佛印因大殿行礼之时拥拥簇簇不曾看得真切特地充当献茶侍者就近瞻仰果然与众不同。神宗接过香茶因见佛印生得身材硕大方面大耳眉清目秀气宇不 何方人氏 在寺几年了 ”佛印开始一凡心中诧异随口问道:”侍者什么姓名 怔随后急中生智叩头奏道:”臣姓林名佛印字觉老饶州 今江西省波阳县 浮梁县 今江西省景德镇市浮梁镇 人是新来寺中出家的。今日有幸得瞻天容欣喜无量。”神宗见他聪明伶俐捋捋长髯说:”卿既名叫佛印可通晓佛法 ”佛印奏道:”臣自幼读书素喜礼佛听禅。佛学经典略知一二。”神宗道:”既然这样朕赐卿法名了元紫袈裟一领金钵一只羊皮度牒一道 古代僧道出家向政府缴纳一定的钱由政府颁发的凭证 就在御前披剃为僧吧 ”若是个真侍者今日得了许多赏赐岂不是千古奇逢欢喜万分可那佛印原是赴京应试他的才华和东坡不相上下实指望金榜题名建功立业怎肯出家做和尚呢 但是君命难违怎么敢说我是假充的侍者不愿为僧 即使心中万分不乐不过一时之间出于无奈也只得假戏真做叩头谢恩。 当下住持引佛印重来正殿拜过如来佛祖再带到御前给他剃去头发披上袈裟。顷刻间佛印便由一名乡贡 明清以后称作”举人” 成为一个英俊的和尚。 此刻佛印亦颇后悔不该为一饱眼福而出了家功名无望。东坡也完全没有想到由于自己的一句闲话竟连累佛印做了和尚心里实在很不是滋味。不过事已如此后悔也没有用了只好用好言劝慰一番。 从此佛印先后又在江州 今江西省九江市 的承天寺庐山的开先寺润州 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 今江苏省镇江市 的焦山寺出家。经过一番苦心修道精通佛法被升为润州金山寺的住持。同时又不忘刻意做诗终于成为江南一代著名的诗僧。 东坡和佛印的幽默机智 佛印自做了和尚以后仍经常和东坡一道游山玩水吟诗作对而且均不乏幽默机智为人们所津津乐道。 一日他们到一座寺院游览。走进前殿看见两尊神态威猛的金刚神像东坡问道:”这两尊金刚哪一尊重要 ”佛印随口答道:”自然是拳头较大的那一尊啊 ”走进后殿看到观音手持念珠东坡又问:”观音既是菩萨为什么还要数手里的那串念珠呢 ””噢”佛印说”她也像凡人一样祷告呀 ””她向谁祷告呢 ””咦她向观音菩萨祷告呀 ””她自己便是观音菩萨为什么要向自己祷告呢 ”佛印忍俊不禁笑笑说:”这是求人不如求己嘛 ”于是两人同声大笑起来。 佛印虽然做了和尚但是仍然非常洒脱常与东坡一块饮酒吃肉无所禁忌不受佛门清规戒律的束缚。 一回佛印听说东坡要到寺里来便叫人烧了一盘东坡爱吃的红烧酥骨鱼。鱼刚端来东坡恰好走到门外。 佛印听到东坡的脚步声想跟他开个玩笑。正好旁边有一只铜磬 佛寺中钵形center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 的乐器 顺手就把鱼藏进磬中。 东坡早闻到鱼的香味满以为又有鱼肉吃了。一看饭桌上没有鱼而香案上的铜磬却倒扣着心里自然明白;却佯作不知坐下来就唉声叹气一副闷闷不乐的样子。 佛印感到奇怪。他素知东坡是个乐天派笑脸常开可今天怎么啦?不由得关切起来:”大诗人为何愁眉不展呀 ””唉 你有所不知早上有人出了一个上联要我对下联。整整想了一朝才对出四个字所以心烦。”佛印半信半疑地问:”不知上联怎么写 ””向阳门第春常在。”佛印听了心中好笑这副对联早已老掉了牙谁人不晓无非存心耍我且看他葫芦里卖的什么药于是也若无其事地往下问:”那么对出哪四个字呀 ””积--善--人--家„„”东坡故意一字一顿地念出来。 佛印不假思索地大声接着说:”庆--有--余 ”东坡忍不住哈哈大笑说:”既然磬 庆 里有鱼 余 为什么不早拿出来尝尝呢 ”此时佛印才知中计。接着两人抚掌大笑开怀畅饮。 又有一回东坡吩咐侍妾王朝云用姜葱等配料做了一盘清蒸鲈鱼。刚要举筷忽见窗外人影一闪是佛印来了。心想这和尚倒有口福待我也耍他一耍于是赶紧将鱼放到碗橱上面。 佛印眼尖早已看在眼里只当不知道。东坡笑嘻嘻地招呼佛印上坐问道:”大师不在禅堂念经却来这里为何 ”佛印一本正经地答道:”贫僧有一个字不会写center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 今天特来请教。”东坡不知有诈忙问:”不知是哪个字呢 ””就是你姓苏的苏字呀 ”东坡眉头一皱深知佛印学问渊博绝对不致连”苏”字也不会写里面定有玄妙但依旧装作很认真似的回答:”啊这苏字嘛是上面一个草头下面左边一角鱼右边一束禾。” 按”苏”的繁体写作” ” 。 佛印也装糊涂地问:”啊是这样 要是把那条鱼放在上头呢 ”东坡忙说:”那可不行 ”佛印哈哈大笑指指碗橱说:”既然不能放在上头那还不赶快拿下来呀 ”东坡这才恍然大悟也跟着哈哈大笑起来。 东坡平生喜欢吃猪肉。后来他贬到黄州 今湖北省黄冈县 时曾戏作《食猪肉》诗:黄州好猪肉价钱等粪土。富者不肯食贫者不解煮。慢着火少着水火候足时它自美。每日起来打一碗饱得自家君莫管。 佛印深知东坡不只喜食猪肉而且喜食烧烤的猪肉。所以东坡每次来寺佛印常以烧肉招待。 一天佛印一早就派人买了几斤上等好肉烧得红酥酥的还打了几瓶琼花露名酒专等东坡前来好痛痛快快地美美吃一顿。 谁知等东坡应邀来到时烧好的猪肉竟不翼而飞。有人说小和尚见猪肉烧得那么好实在馋得很便偷偷地吃掉了。也有的说某施主见了说和尚吃肉有污佛门圣洁叫人拿走了„„佛印有点过意不去抱歉说:”烧肉真的吃不成了。但这回我可没center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 把肉藏在磬里啊 ”东坡二话没说乐呵呵地吟一首小诗赠给佛印。诗云:远公沽酒饮陶潜佛印烧猪待子瞻。 采得百花成蜜后不知辛苦为谁忙。 东坡和佛印两人就是如此幽默有趣。 金山寺玉带换袈裟 熙宁四年1701 。苏东坡到杭州出任通判时路过润州 今江苏省镇江市 便特地上金山寺去看望老朋友、该寺的住持佛印禅师。 金山寺始建于东晋是一座具有很高艺术价值的雄伟建筑。寺中高达十四五丈的八面七级慈寿塔屹立在长江之滨真有居高临下压倒一切之势。但它不仅以建筑宏丽著称而且在佛教禅宗寺院中也有极为崇高的地位。 那天上午东坡身穿官服腰系神宗皇帝赏赐的玉带拾级登山。他远远望见佛印禅师正高坐在法座上讲经说法。那佛印看到东坡上来也不让座只高声问道:”学士从哪里来 这儿可没有您坐的地方 意思是:这里没有你的归宿 。”东坡听了知是”禅机”也开玩笑说:”既然没有坐处何不暂借大师的四大 佛教指地、水、火、风为四大 用作禅床 ”佛印见他班门弄斧便有意难他说:”贫僧有一佛语上联学士如能对出当从所请;若对不上请留下腰间玉带永作镇山之宝。”东center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 坡自恃对佛学颇有研究就欣然答应并随即解下玉带放在香案上面说:”请出句罢 ”佛印笑嘻嘻地高声念道:”四大皆空五蕴 佛教以色、受、想、行、识为五蕴 非有学士欲于何处坐 ”东坡一时语塞答不上来佛印忙命小和尚:”把玉带收起永镇山门。”又让人取来一件袈裟回赠东坡并赋诗两首暗示东坡应穿上衲衣离开仕途。 东坡也步他的原韵和诗两首其一云:病骨难堪玉带围钝根仍落箭锋机;欲教乞食歌姬院故与云山旧衲衣。 但东坡终于没有听从佛印的劝告脱却官袍披上袈裟弃官出家仍然正视现实追求理想的实现。 那条玉带长约二尺宽约二寸带上缀着一块一块米色的玉石有长方形、圆形、心形共有二十块精美绝伦。九百多年来一直保存在金山寺中供人观赏。 苏东坡的患难知己王朝云 来源:中华书画网 文章作者:佚名 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 王朝云,字子霞,钱塘人,因家境清寒,自幼沦落在歌舞班中,却独具一种清新洁雅的气质。宋神宗熙宁四年,苏东坡被贬为杭州通判,一日,宴饮时看到了轻盈曼舞的王朝云,备极宠爱,娶她为妾,此时的苏东坡已经四十岁了。 苏东坡是一位性情豪放的人,在诗词中畅论自己的政见,得罪了当朝权贵,几度遭贬。在苏东坡的妻妾中,王朝云最善解苏东坡心意。一次,苏东坡退朝回家,指着自己的腹部问侍妾:“你们有谁知道我这里面有些什么,”一答:“文章。”一说:“见识。”苏东坡摇摇头,王朝云笑道:“您肚子里都是不合时宜。”苏东坡闻言赞道:“知我者,唯有朝云也。” 苏东坡在杭州四年,之后又官迁密州、徐州、湖州,因“乌台诗案”被贬为黄州副使,这期间,王朝云始终紧紧相随。在黄州时,他们的生活十分清贫。元丰六年,王朝云为苏东坡生下了一子,取名遂礼。 宋神宗驾崩后,宋哲宗继位,任用司马光为宰相,全部废除了王安石的新法;苏东坡又被召回京城升任龙图阁学士,兼任小皇帝的侍读,这时的苏东坡,十分受宣仁皇太后和年仅十二岁的小皇帝的赏识,政治上春风得意。苏东坡又不center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 时怀念起死去的结发妻子王弗:十年生死两茫茫,不思量,自难忘。千里孤坟,无处话凄冷。纵使相逢应不识,坐满面,鬓如霜。夜来幽梦忽还乡,小轩窗,正梳妆。相顾无言,唯有泪干行。料得年年肠断处,明月夜,短松冈。 两年之后,苏东坡再度被贬任杭州知府。杭州百姓非常爱戴他。此后苏东坡又先后出任颖州和扬州知府。宋哲宗用章惇为宰相,政见不同的苏东坡被贬往南蛮之地的惠州(今广东省惠阳县),这时他巳经年近花甲了。身边姬妾陆续散去,只有王朝云始终追随。苏东坡感叹作诗:不似杨枝别乐天,恰如通德伴伶元;阿奴络秀不同老,无女维摩总解禅。经卷药炉新活计,舞衫歌板旧姻缘;丹成逐我三山去;不作巫山云雨仙。序云:“予家有数妾,四五年间相继辞去,独朝云随予南迁,因读乐天诗,戏作此赠之。” 王朝云在惠州又为苏东坡生下一子,取名干儿,产后身体虚弱,不久便溘然长逝,年仅三十四岁。朝云死后,苏东坡将她葬在惠州西湖孤山南麓栖禅寺大圣塔下的松林之中,并在墓上筑六如亭以纪念她,亭柱上镌有一副楹联:不合时宜,惟有朝云能识我;独弹古调,每逢暮雨倍思卿。 兄妹戏丑 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 来源:中华书画网 文章作者:佚名 蜀地多才女,到宋代又出了个苏小妹。可说宋代四川的灵秀之气尽革于苏氏一门,苏小妹的父亲苏询,哥哥苏轼、苏辙个个才高八斗,所谓“一门父子三词客,千秋文章八大家”。 苏小妹长得不胖不瘦,薄薄的丹唇、圆圆的脸蛋,乌溜溜的大眼睛,再配上高高的额头,突出的双颚,一看就是一副慧黠的样子。她从小就爱与两个哥哥比才斗口,一派天真,尤其是大哥苏轼满腮胡须,肚突身肥,穿着宽袍大袖的衣服,不修边幅,不拘小节,更是她斗口的对象,于是整天在家口战不休。一天苏东坡拿妹妹的长相开玩笑,形容妹妹的凸额凹眼是: 未出堂前三五步,额头先到画堂前; 几回拭泪深难到,留得汪汪两道泉。 苏小妹嘻嘻一笑,当即反唇相讥: 一丛哀草出唇间,须发连鬓耳杏然; 口角儿回无觅处,忽闻毛里有声传。 这诗讥笑的是苏轼那不加修理、乱蓬蓬的络腮胡须。女孩子最怕别人说出她长相的弱点,苏小妹额头凸出一些,眼窝一些,就被苏轼抓出来调侃一顿,苏小妹说苏轼的胡须似乎又还没有抓到痛处,觉得自己没有占到便宜,再一端详,发center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction 现哥哥额头扁平,了无峥嵘之感,又一幅马脸,长达一尺,两只眼睛距离较远,整个就是五官搭配不合比例,当即喜孜孜地再占一诗: 天平地阔路三千,遥望双眉云汉间; 去年一滴相思泪,至今流不到腮边。 苏轼一听乐得拍着妹妹的头大笑不已。苏家兄妹戏谚起来,可说百无禁忌,常常是语带双关,任你想像。 苏东坡与黄庭坚巧对 来源:中华书画网 文章作者:佚名 苏东坡与黄庭坚在松树底下走棋。一阵风吹来,松果掉进棋盘。苏东坡得句曰:松下围棋,松子每随棋子落。黄庭坚对道:柳边垂钓,柳丝常伴约丝悬。 center can only view/control of the cameras. This period monitoring system more zhiqian original Institute of monitoring 179 a camera of number for has increased, reached 203 a, increased camera main consider cover rehabilitation center of part monitoring corner regional and focus regional, increased has 60 a alarm probe, its purpose is reached security full cover, into floor within of personnel of access are has track can found, some focus parts not only to has depending on like information can storage, also to has audio information do can storage, For future extraction information information for foot prepared. While currently social security also in complex period, for like medical facilities such of special public more is should particularly note platform storage capacity calculation way category parameter 1# video collection type D1 D1 camera number D1 camera bandwidth (Mbps) 2 D1 storage days 30 single road single days storage space (GB) 21.1 CIF CIF camera number CIF camera bandwidth (Mbps) 0.512 CIF storage days 30 Single road single days storage space (GB) 5.4 installation location monitoring center extended Cabinet Center storage calculation access 203 road camera 1 sets hard disk total CIF mode storage 32 Taiwan (1T) hard disk total D1 mode storage 64 Taiwan (2T) this period security design in the no put alarm system as a independent of subsystem construction, but interspersed with Yu monitoring system and access, parking management system in the, purpose is to reached depending on audio monitoring, access monitoring, parking monitoring management linkage defense, interconnected Exchange. achieved full, Comprehensive, intelligent security management. Rehabilitation Centre for industry, for rehabilitation center expansion project (phase I) alarm system design for construction
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