2010高考语文作文名师点津系列――记叙文运思

2010高考语文作文名师点津系列――记叙文运思 2010, college entrance examination, Chinese composition, famous teachers, Tianjin series - narrative thinking From the beginning of two or three grade primary school to learn to write a composition on the written narrative, written in high school, or can not solve the narrative "Difficult miscellaneous diseases": 1. lines of procrastination, the story is not strong; 2., "running account" structure, lack of ideology; 3. insipid and lacking vivid and vivid imagery. [writer online] [writer, model essay] When the change of type. Eight years ago, when I was in college, I was crazy about all kinds of literary and artistic works. Every night, like chickens laying eggs, I sat on my bed anxiously. However, the manuscript was sent to the editorial department, but it was sent back from the editorial department. I hate my inability to be classmates, I have to write the manuscript editorial department said: do not, do not rejected. But I still want to write, I'm still writing, in order to stimulate themselves, every written one, go to a restaurant outside the school to eat a meat dish of rice, although at that time was poor, never had a dollar. I have an article variable type! At that time, it was the year 1973 of June, one year after I studied. I was digging holes in the school that day, just out of the tunnel. One of the teachers said, "did you write a copy of the mass art?" "No!". "I looked at my classmates and blushed. "You coaxed the teacher."! Did you write a pair of socks? "Here, this..." I have a story to send to mass art magazine. "Jia Pingwa! Someone from the editorial office is in the Department office. I want to see you! "Really?" "I looked at the teacher, see his face the truth," Oh "sound, gallop. I run fast, his mouth shouted, I don't know how I ran across the playground, running across the road, ran up the stairs 60 steps above the Department office: I quite like a deer, I smell mad! I stand in the Department office door, but my confusion, I do not dare to knock on the door, did not know that this is what a person, what to say, I beat all the soil, long hair, too shy to stand in the corridor, the hot face against a wall... But opened the door... A gentle, out of the elegant people. "Are you?" My name is jia. "Flat concave?" "Hey hey!". "After that, I was taken in, and I was all confused. I talked about something. I didn't know it at all. I just remembered it was hot and sweaty, and there was no place to go. At night, I lost sleep, I think I'm ok, OK?! I wanted all my classmates to know about it, but I decided not to tell anyone. I began to think of another story of mine! From then on, I paid great attention to "mass art". I turned the newspaper all day and looked at its catalogue for the next month. Did I send it? However, the seventh issue of the catalog, but not my "a pair of socks."! I went to the editorial department and replied, "it's late in August.". "Oh! "I breathed a sigh of relief and handed in second story books. Ten days later, I went to the editorial department again, and the editor's comrades congratulated me on the fact that the second stories were well written and had been decided to publish on September. I was so excited that I nearly shed tears. As soon as I got out of the editorial office, I headed straight for the street restaurant. I took out the only 5 corners and 5 cents I had, Bought a dish of fried meat to eat. In August, the publication was published. I went to the editorial office to take a sample of it. I watched it over and over again, and at last I looked at the sun for a while. The sun was very good that day. There were so many people in the street that they all laughed. I just wanted to run, I wanted to sing, and I even imagined a donkey rolling in place. On September, my second story was published, and I thought I could write it. I believe in myself and write down as mad as I can. I wrote today, and has published 5 books to be published, but I often think of my "socks", although it is just a story, have not been ignored, but I miss it, miss a truth at that time. (Jia Pingwa) [model essay] Content: recall the literary start of "I". Key content: "a pair of socks" before and after publication "I" psychological activities and performance. Writing features: complete narrative, his writing is fine, full of fun;; sincere emotion, clear theme. That's why the great writer wrote the narrative so regularly. Revelation: The outstanding feature of topic composition is "big questions" and "small articles". "Big questions" and "standard" (standard) should be written down. The narrative (including small novels, communication, reportage, diaries, fairy tales, fables, stories etc.) is the basic style, to write a "practical and standard of quality" narrative, is the most important feature to recognize this style, understand its way of thinking and expression method. [military science] Write standard narrative, grasp three words: story, thought, description 1., the story is, "something happened."". After the accident, what happened? Whose accident? What's wrong with it? Because what happened? When did it happen? ... the narrative is complete. After the accident, because there is a conflict of interest, emotion, and personality... The more perplexing more Watchable... After the accident, you have to solve, resolve a process -- wonderful plot rendering a P "pimple" hanging appetite slowly solution. So, you have to think clearly about the following questions: (1) material selection; [example] The two fathers also sent tuition to their daughter in high school in the county. One is direct travel, 50 miles to send money to the daughter; one is picked a load of millet, with black walk 50 mile mountain road, daybreak to the market, and then sell millet, to daughter send money. The material that the two fathers sent money was written in a narrative that leaves a completely different feeling for the reader. Therefore, the selection of materials should have a unique vision, should be good at finding material from the topic related content. [example] Here is a piece of material and a composition question: Material: an old lady gave birth to two daughters. The eldest daughter married the owner of the umbrella shop and the little girl became the woman in charge of the laundry. So the old lady was full of worries all day. Every rainy day, she worried that the clothes in the laundry would not dry; every sunny day, she was afraid that the umbrella in the umbrella shop could not be sold. Worried about her daughter every day, life is very melancholy. Then a wise man told her, "you are so lucky, old lady."! Rainy day, your daughter home Business Flourishes; sunny day, your daughter is full of customers; one day you have good news! "The sky is still the same, but the brain has changed, and the color of life has changed completely.". Topic: read the following text, according to the requirements of the composition. There was a rich man in Song Dynasty. A heavy rain poured out his wall. "No one will steal," his son said. "That's what an old neighbor said. In the evening, the rich man lost a lot of things. The rich thought his son was very clever and suspected that the old man from the neighborhood stole it. The above is a fable in Han Feizi. To this day, we can still hear similar stories in real life, but there are also many different, or even opposite, situations. When we understand and deal with problems, emotional closeness and perception of things from the depth Never mind? What kind of relationship is it? Please write an article on the topic of "emotional closeness and the perception of things". Excuse me: the above material can serve in the topic of "emotional closeness and the perception of things"? [analysis] What the material says is: same thing, see from different angle, can come to different conclusion. Look, seems to be "feelings of closeness" not above; but if we intercept material analysis -- first half to The old lady because of the care of their children, so that she has a unique feeling of the weather, and the general people do not have that concern, there is another understanding. In this way, the material will serve the center well. - it's a story of characters, events, scenes, and vivid narratives. Isn't it a perfect topic for college entrance examination? (2) setting the tone The tone is an emotion, that is, your feelings, attitudes, impressions, and impressions of the person. Suggest: I call this "emotional" batted, penetrate into the whole story; After the beginning of the first sentence of the show "mood". [example] Lu Xun's "Mr. Fujino", opening the first sentence: Tokyo is nothing more like this. That was the whole mood irritability anger, not the status quo of critical transformation of the status situation since the language through the edge down. Gao Xiaosheng - "Chen Huansheng" is the first sentence of the city: Chen Huansheng, the head of the funnel, is coming up town today. -- cheerful mood, cheerful language, cheerful tune. Yu Qiuyu in the "five cities" is such as "opened at the beginning of the: It is backed by a foot of the Yellow River, a Song Dynasty, as a not aristocratic, still bearing extraordinary facial features. - - opening, let a person feel a kind of vicissitudes of history massiness. (3) clue About clues, do not want to say more, just remind one: clues are not only used to wear the story, but also used to wear narrative elements. To put it plainly - clues are used to get through the structure of the article. 2. use the "story" to express an idea". Storytelling isn't for fun, it's about expressing an emotion, an idea. To put it this way, "to say something" is to "reason"; moreover, it is more vivid and charming than mere reasoning. [inspiration] "Thought" (expressed as the gist of the article) is the soul of the story, It rules the details, cuts and trends of the story. How do you do it? (1) describe and describe the key parts. The criteria for selecting "critical parts" are: You can write the most prominent figures of the character ""; I write what can best embody the "event contains the truth". (2) express oneself with vivid images. Use the appropriate description means to describe people and things, landscape features, to express the life true to life, sentiment and reason. (3) focused discussion and lyric. [example] Lu Xun's "Kong Yiji": Kong Yiji is so cheerful, but without him, so will others. [tips] A statement of "thought" in a narrative: Just right, seize the opportunity. In the climax or the most meaningful place for general use, "touch" role. The terse, touch. Based on narrative, extracted from narrative and integrated with narrative. Please read the excellent essay, the full score essay, the author's story. 3., "thought" is contained in "description". Please remember six words: less narrative, more description. Avoid the line type process, and don't label the discussion and identification; narrative needs concrete and sensitive pictures". [example] A "-" who wake up the enslaved worker, enslaved worker "picture" is clearly flashed in front of us: Below seven feet wide and twelve feet deep workshop, lying over sixteen spread all across in confusion seven is called a "pig" people. Follow this powerful cry, full of sweat, odor and moisture in the air, quickly stir the honeycomb like the general uproar. Yawning, sighing, shouting, looking for clothes, wearing the wrong shoes of others, casually treading on others, on the head of others less than a foot of the toilet, very loud urine. All women feel shy, among these so-called "pigs", seems to have been very slow. They would get up in half naked, open the door, carry their pants for the toilet, and turn back slightly, openly changing clothes in front of the man. - mentioning the Arrhenius "one, the image of Lu Xun is touching the matter does not carve it in front of us" stand up ": His face is yellowish white, thin people worry, like people recovering from illness; but the spirit is very good, but not a bit like. About one inch long hair, obviously haven't cut, but a straight up in fine Fig. The beard is drilled, like body nongmo wrote a 'word'. " [a masterpiece] [on the list] Habit My grandmother just died a few months ago, and she's going to be a relative It's time for someone else to sing. However, whenever I sat in my study, trying to get up in the apricot yellow wooden box The whole body of twelve pairs of cloth shoes from small to large, the heart tone. There was still a pain in my mind, and I could not help appearing grandmother With reading glasses sat under the lamp in a stitch over the sole habit of flashback. Transitional nature. Silhouette. My grandmother once met everyone and said, "I'm very clever, and I use typical language." He likes to wear shoes made by myself, Always wear. "Write, make characters appear, outstanding." I was always in the hearts of laugh: "who needs it, grandma on" I love ". A few Tubula, pour a pound. "But I did." Always follow grandma's eyes and nod with satisfaction. So grandma described life very much, More and more happy, originally two years a pair, became two pairs of a year. She has a sense of picture. Living in the country, the old people travel inconvenience, every time from the post office And every time, the trustee in the bag a few words: "every time their grandmother "Grandmother is old, have no money to buy leather shoes, these shoes, you gather in the burden to carry a few words."", To wear it. "Every time I pick up the heavy cloth shoes, it makes the weight of the burden more." Looking out of the window rather than erratic boys and girls, said heavy heart. The smell - - how can I dress it out?! Time went by year by year, and grandma was obviously failing Old, but a year of two pairs of cloth shoes will not be less, though The needle is becoming more and more crooked, more and more sparse, and that shoe is also only I have to wear to her in every year, every time she welcome to the village "while sewing and I always look at my feet, every time I smiled and asked: "the more askew, more and more sparse."", "Is it comfortable?" OK, wear it? "But" more thick soles", Grandma in the center of my trick, Ann lived, revealing grandma's "I" deep Still used to give me shoes, shoes, aging makes her feel the deep love, deep feeling. To die soon, this year's sole or more thick. Maybe she felt like she couldn't make much more shoes. Let's have this pair Let's wear it longer! And it's different from usual, This time she stumbled foot feet personally put the shoes to my grandmother "hobbled around Personally, help me set, then a person sitting in the chair foot feet "to send shoes, Alone. I feel funny, go back to my room and help mom with my hands, then The mother complained: "this old lady, I am not a soil road eight," a person sitting in the chair You'd better wear these shoes yourself. "I bullied her, I was deaf, I was alone," said the old man The voice could not help being bigger. However, when I came to the outer room, I was so satisfied, so Finding grandma's face changed, she sat there in silence. Hair. I felt guilty and tried to explain, but I couldn't say anything. On the second day, grandma walked alone, and the bars could not stop him, Before long, uncle sent telegram to mother: "mother is critically ill."! " When my mother and I arrived, grandma was on the deathbed. She looked at the author and picked the best Look at me and ask for a pair of shoes that do not fit well Son, these years have been making shoes for you, used to, a few days ago, subject matter to one by one wonderful Can not help but make you a pair, and leave a souvenir bar! "Said the description into a group End, Not for a moment then died. Copy from rolia story, Yun I burst into tears, at this time I felt this line contains a family. The truth, however, was too late for my grandmother to see my real thoughts. I can't wear her shoes anymore, and I'm starting to hate them Hypocrisy and vanity, I want to collect these shoes, To commemorate my dear grandmother, to spur myself forever. (one candidate) [Full Score] Topic: experience Sample: The fish? The eagle? That man? I compare myself to a fish, and I try to find the outlet out of the water. I liken myself to an eagle, and I will fly out of the blue sky. I am myself, I want to run, run out of my parents' sight, and run on my own track. -- " Starting That year, failed to play mad. I resolutely refuse to repeat, insisted on carrying a large bag, embarked on the north of the train. Across the window, I saw my mother crying, parents sigh, nose a bit sour, turned her face, no cry. "Ah --" a cry, the train started, mother also immediately follow the train run, waved again and again, again and again charged. I looked up at the sky, gray, and it was so lonely. The run It's pleasant to be away from your parents. At least I can keep it out of order without fear of someone wearing an apron at the door at least can ignore chatter without stop; the neighbors looked down, do not look teachers disappointed eyes, parents will not hear the voice of the heart. But at the same time with sad. Each company to apply for, my performance is always satisfactory, can see my face turned in doubt, words become "back news!" at that moment, I felt the whole world abandoned me. That night, back to the dormitory, on the sofa, suddenly a lightning flashed across the dark blue sky, and a few thunders seemed to wake up all the creatures. I cried like this without mercy. Think of my mother's delicious braised fish in soy sauce; think of the education thought of father sincere words and earnest wishes; the old tree in front of the tree back to the crooked neck; a missing angle of the table tennis table in the yard: think of those days three year Studuy... Watching goldfish bowl goldfish... I think fish can not live without water after all. On the second day, it cleared up, and I picked up the phone and dialed the most familiar number. Hello, who's calling, please? "..." "Hello, why don't you speak?" "Mama, it's me."! "Dan," is that you? Is that really you? "Mom, I'm tired."! "Child, tired, go home, know?" "Oh, mother, I'm going home.". " City night still lights, pedestrians on the road is still in good out of a bandbox. Only, I will say goodbye to all this and return to the pure land that gave me the source of life. End I came back after all, back to the place where I knew so much about it. Everything has not changed, I decided to repeat, I did not run, but I hope to have a higher starting point. Postscript: Fish can not live without the water that gives it its source. Eagle, After all, there is no sky to give it its source of hope. I have always been unable to escape the happiness of my parents, my relatives and my friends...... [comment] Closely around the "running experience" is the central content, select the appropriate materials, using small title in the form of combination; combining appropriate and specific description, expressing a life experience of their growth process, true sense of reality, P. [essays] The rose of Valentine's Day is in the classroom When I stepped into the classroom, I was shocked. Rose, red rose in the student's desk blooming smile. I suddenly remember that today is Valentine's day. Valentine's day, this westerner's festival, did not know when, also became Chinese's fashion, unexpectedly, also became the high school student's festival unexpectedly. Red roses, a ray of surprise swept my mind. I this moment of mental activity did not escape the eyes of the children, have a little excitement in the classroom, some mutual wink, some whisper, and looked around. It seems to me that this is a Valentine's Day gift for my class teacher! Well, I still face this "elaborate" gift. "Oh, I'm flattered that you decorated this Chinese class with such beautiful roses.". "I laughed. Perhaps my words were beyond their expectation, perhaps my humor had perplexed them, and there was momentary silence in the classroom. As I strolled down the platform, I picked up a rose from a student's desk. "What a beautiful red rose!"! "I admire the roses in my hand and I admire it. At this time, I feel the students to vote for me a strange look, and will look from the hands of the rose slowly moved to the students, said to them: "you in a very day, the selection of the specific meaning of the flowers, placed in a special occasion, gave me a impromptu education topic. Is that right? The students were amused by my breath, and the atmosphere in the classroom relaxed as well. "Well, let me ask you first, have you heard of the legend of red roses?" "I saw the students shaking their heads," I continued. "Actually, students who have read the Greek myths and legends should remember. In ancient Greece, a goddess of love and beauty Aphrodite fell in love with the beautiful young Adonis of god. One day, Adonis hunting wild boar bites Aphrodite, after hearing the news, rushed to her, when she ran toward the dying Adonis, but in a hurry I stepped in the white rose, white rose thorn stabbed the goddess's feet, deep red blood dropped down to the earth. Later, the goddess of blood trickled out of place, long clusters of bright and delicate beautiful red roses. "From the ancient myths and legends, later Westerners began to symbolize love with red roses.". Of course, that's the story of the red rose from western mythology. In our China tradition, not as a symbol of love roses, but with plum, Impatiens, lotus, red peony as the symbol of love. The expression of love in red roses is a modern thing in China, and it is also the result of Western culture. " I paused for a moment to see my classmates listening attentively, Why don't you pass on the culture to them? "Everybody knows that today is Valentine's day for westerners, but do you know the origin of this festival?" It is said that the festival originated in england. In 270 ad, a man named Valen Mattel young Christians arrested because of the autocratic and was against Rome. In prison, he had an affair with the warden's daughter. With the term approaching, and farewell to his beloved girl day is approaching. Just before his execution in February 14th, he gave his sweetheart to write a love letter, tell his feelings, then walk to the execution ground. From then on, Christians commemorate the day of February 14th as the Valentine's day in memory of the young man who gave his life for freedom. "In the children's eyes, I saw their minds. I put the rose in my hand back to the desk and said with great meaning, "roses are beautiful, but thorns on the roses. Be careful when you take them."! "As soon as the voice fell, the students laughed knowingly. "Well, let's change this Chinese class into an oral composition class. We should talk about rose. What about the style?" " I also gave the students an unexpected gift". In the afternoon, I visited the classroom as usual. I found a bunch of red roses on the platform. A note was pressed under it. I opened the note and read it: Miss zeng: You are an unusual teacher. The storm we thought didn't show up. If we were far to observe you, for you, so today we have the initiative came to you, your poetic words, legends about rose myth tells you, you also contains profound friendly warning, let us feel your wide thick, your wisdom, your mind. Here is a bunch of roses for you. May you always be young and beautiful. Your students (Ceng Hongyan) [Banmen axe] practice 1., life will inevitably have many regrets; a unit, a society, a nation, a country is the same. Please write the narrative framework in the name of "regret". (1) the central idea of the article: (2) the story content of the article: (3) the article focuses on the description of the part: (4) the idea of the article: (5) the expression of the true feelings of the article: Please evaluate yourself immediately: (1) is the focus of the article clear?. (2) is the story of the main body vivid and tortuous?. (3) are there any specific descriptions or vivid details in the passage?. (4) whether the true feelings of the article are in place. 2. choose an essay as an essay. (1) here is the beginning of the little shoemaker. Please write it as a complete complex narrative. After the black July, Zhang Wei, a small shoemaker, received a letter of acceptance from a university. Holding the notice, his eyes filled with tears. The road of study in the past three years has unfolded like a movie before him...... (2) read the following materials and write as required. Inside a painter's room, I saw a very special picture hanging on the wall. It was a framed white paper, with a black spot in the middle left. I don't know exactly what the black stains, delicate touch, by the painter hung on the wall the most prominent position, I thought for a long time, the mind is still a blank. I consulted the artist. The artist said, "this painting of mine is called 'happy'. " 'happy'? I don't understand。 "In my memory, no painter can draw happiness.". The painter said, "the black patch in the middle is painful. When everyone sees the painting, he sees only the painful black stain, but does not see the joy in the background.". Isn't that what our life is like? How many pleasures we all turn a blind eye to, but are covered by tiny pain. " I said, "take out the pain in the picture."!" The painter said, "without pain, we can't see happiness.". " I see. Our eyes are always focused on pain, and happiness is often the part of us that we ignore. Read the above material, you must have some insights. Please write a narrative on the topic "pain and pleasure", with a title of not less than 800 words. 3. Title: I want to hold your hand / third day, that last day / year, I am years old