摩登家庭第2季Modern Family08

MF2.08Manny: Goodafternoon.Thanksforcoming.It'ssonicetospendmybirthdaysurroundedbysomanysmilingfaces.Iwasalmosttoodepressedtocometoday.IrealizedIletmychildhoodslipaway. Claire: Comeon,everybody!We'regonnabelateforManny'sbirthday!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Luke: I'mready,mom.Claire: Yousure,honey?Luke: Yep.Claire: Thentakeaquickpeekatyourfeet.Luke: Oh!Comeon,Luke! Mitchell: Areyougonnawalkfaster,orshouldIgetLily'sstrolleroutofthecarandpushyou?Cameron: Wouldyourelax?Therestaurant'slikefiveminutesawayfromhere...ohh,freelotion.Mitchell: Stopstoppingtosmelltheroses.Manny'spresent.Cameron: Ohh,youaresuchaPritchett.Mitchell: What'sthatsupposedtomean? Jay: Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Let'sgo!Gloria: I'mlookingforthekeys!Jay: Ofcourseyouare. Jay: Ilikebeingontime.It'seasy'causeI'morganized.Notmywife.You'dthinkgrowingupinaplacefullofdeathsquadsanddrunkenuncles,she'dhavelearnedtomovealittlebitfaster.Gloria: Ay!Sorry,sorry.Icouldn'tfindmyearring.So,whatwerewetalkingabout,huh? Claire: Honey,comeon.We'regonnabelate.Let'sgo.Phil: Yeah,yeah,justfillingouttheapplicationtofamilycamp.Claire: Ohh.Phil: Youdon'twinthe"dirtydancing"competitionandnotgobacktodefendyourcrown.Claire: Hmm.That'sright.Comeon,honey.Phil: Butshootfortheking...Youbetterkillhim. Phil: Everysummer,wespendaweekatfamilycamp.It'sjustlikeregularcamp,butwiththefamily!Claire: Yeah.Idon'tthinkthatneededanyclarification,Phil.Phil: Somebody'sstillalittletoyaboutlosinglastyear'scolorwar.Claire: Not.Phil: Shewasonteamblue...Claire: Mm-hmm.Phil: OrasIliketorefertothemasteamblue-zer.AndIwasonwhite.Claire: That'sgood.Phil: Andifyouain'twhite...Claire: No.Phil: Youain'tright!Claire: Phil!Haveyoulearnednothing? Phil: Mygoodman. Claire: Okay,comeon,everybody.Frontdoor!Now!Phil: Claire,relax.Ittakes15minutestogetthere.Claire: Ittakes20minutes.Phil: Ifwetakeyourroute.Claire: Well,mywayisthemostdirect.Phil: Directlyintotraffic.Claire: Uh,yourwayisdirectlyinto...Thesuckiestway.Phil: Wanttomakethisinteresting?Alex: Yeah,Idon'tthinkthat'spossible.Phil: Wetaketwocarsandseewhogetstherefirst.Claire: Fine.Fine.Let'sdothat.It'son.Phil: Yeah!Itison!I'lltakethegirls.Claire: Luke,yourdadandIaresplittingup.Luke: Why?Alex: Anotheroneoftheirstupidarguments.Luke: Okay.I'llgowithdad.Claire: No,no.Buddy.Comewithme.Phil: Preparetobe...myshoes.Comeon,Phil! Manny: HowdoIlook?Jay: LikealCapone.Manny: Thanks!Jay: HappyBirthday,kid.Manny: Whoa!Abbgun?!Jay: Enjoy.That'sthebestgiftmydadevergaveme.Gloria: Mykeysarenowhere!We'regonnahavetogoinyourcar.Jay: It'sintheshop.Wherewasthelastplaceyouputyourkeys?Gloria: Oh,sonowit'smyfault?Wherewasthelastplaceyouputmykeys?Mm-hmm.Jay: InyourhandwhenIboughtyouthecar.Manny: Hey,Jay,onthebox,itsays"ages16andup."Isthisanappropriategiftforme?Jay: Areyoukiddingme?Youwereborn16.Youknow,wewouldn'tbehavingthisproblemifyouhadn'tlostthespareset.Gloria: Ididn'tlosethem.Somebodycameinhereandstolethem!Jay: Andleftthecar.Manny: Whatdoyoumean,Iwasborn16?Jay: I'mjustsaying,youwerenevermuchofakid.Andthat'sagoodthing,'causeIneverlikedkids.Youknow,yououghttotrythefridge.'Causethat'swherewefoundyourcellphone.Gloria: Itwasonlyonetime,Jay.AndyouknowIalwayseatafterItalktomymother.Jay: HappyBirthday,oldman. Manny: Well,I'veforgottenalotofthingsinmylife.ButwhatJaysaidhitmehard.I'dforgottentohaveachildhood. Alex: Dad,thatwasastopsign.Phil: I'llstoptwiceonthewayback.Haley: Oh,good,it'llgiveusachancetopickupthathubcapyoulostcuttingthroughthetempleparkinglot.Yellow...yellow!Okay. Claire: Areyouseeingthis?Wearemakingeverylight,andwedon'tevenhavetospeed.Thesystemworks.Luke: Mom?Claire: Iknow,Iwentalittlefastbackthere,but,really,40isthesameas35.Luke: Yousaythatalot. Phil: Idon'tthinkyoutwoappreciatewhat'satstakehereourlives?Haley: Ourlives?Phil: YouknowIloveyourmother,butIthinkyoualsoknowacertainlookshegetsthatsays,"justlistentome,I'malwaysright."Haley: Youmeanherface?Phil: N-nowwe'regettingthis.Ifwe'rerightthisonetime,thenweneverhavetoberightagain.Whenshesays,"thatballooncan'tcarryaperson,Phil,"Isay,"Manny'sbirthday."Alex: "Takeyourjacket,Alex.Ithinkit'sgonnarain."Phil: "Manny'sbirthday."Haley: Don'tlookatme.Lookattheroad.Phil: "Manny'sbirthday."Haley: No,dad!Lookattheroad!There'satruck!Phil: Sweetbaby! Claire: Wearesokickingyourdad'sbutt!Wearethebestones!Luke: Howcomeyouanddadarebreakingup?Claire: What?Luke: Ifit'sjustalittledisagreement,can'tyoujustworkitout?Claire: Oh,sweetie,youthoughtthatwhenIsaidweweresplittingup...No.No,yourdadandIarefine,honey.Wejustweregonnatakeseparatecarstoseewhocouldgettotherestaurantfaster.Luke: Oh,that'sarelief.Claire: Ohh,youmusthavebeenfeelingawfulbackthere.Iamsosorry.Luke: It'sokay.Claire: Whydidyousayyou'dgowithyourdad? Alex: Great.Momgetstoberightagain.Phil: Hey,badattitudesloseraces.Haley: No,swervingintoacurbandpoppingyourtirelosesraces.Alex: Weshouldcallthecopsandsaymom'scarwasstolen.Theyarresther,wewin.Phil: No,theytracethosecalls.Butthisisgreat.Thinkinglikeateam!Goodpracticeforfamilycamp.Haley: We're,uh,we'redoingthatagain?Phil: Oh,yeah!AndthisyearIpredicttotalwhitedomination. Haley: Can'tgobackthere.Alex: Iheardthissummerthere'sgonnabeahoedown.Haley: Ican't.Alex: Haley!Haley: Ican't!Ican't. Mitchell: Eightminutestalkingtotheladyatthestationerystoreandstillnopresent.Cameron: Youknow,Ithinkanewfriendislikeapresent.Mitchell: Yeah,Ireadthatcard,too.Canwepleasejustbuythenextthingweseeandgetoutofhere?Cameron: Youknow,whycan'tyouenjoythis?It'sabeautifulafternoon,Lily'swithasitter.Thedayisours!Donald: Helen!Helen!Helen!Cameron: Helen!!Mitchell: Oh,lookatthat.Anotherfriend.Offwego.Verybusy.Cameron: No.Stop.Youaretootiedtoyourrigidschedules.You'remissinglife.Ittookalloftwosecondstohelpthisniceman.Donald: W-w-wait.Wait.There'smore.Cameron: Twoseconds.Yeah.Donald: TellherI'msosorry,I'vealwayslovedher.Cameron: Hesayshe'ssosorry!Andthathe'salwayslovedyou!Donald: Pleasecomeupandtalktome.Cameron: Pleasecomeupandtalktohim!Hislifewouldbeemptywithoutyou!I'msorryI'mgoingoffscript.Itjustfeltright.Donald: Oh.Good.Oh.T-toolate.Cameron: No,youknowwhat?Givehimyourcellphone.I'llchaseHelendownandgivehermyphone.Theycanhashitout.Mitchell: Areyou...areyouserious?Cameron: Yes,I'mseriousasaheartattack. Jay: Youalwaysdothis.Nowwe'regonnabelatetoourownparty.Gloria: Stopshouting.Jay: Well,technically,Iwasn'treally...Manny: Uh,yes,hello.IsSeymourbuttsthere?I'dnevermadeaprankcall...Nevermixeddifferentsodastogethertoseewhatthey'dtastelike.SoIknewIhadtomakethemostofwhatlittlechildhoodIhadleft.Not"lutts."I'mlookingforbutts.Yes,I'mtryingtogetaholdofbutts.Veryfunny.Idon'thavetimeforthisfoolishness.Jay: Maybeifyouhadasystemforwhereyouleavethings.Gloria: Ihaveasystem.Iputdownthings,thenIrememberwhereIputthem.Jay: Andthatwouldbepreferableto,say,puttingthemonthekeyholderwhichjusthappenstolooklikealargekey.Gloria: Stopscreaming! Jay: Whatareyoudoing?Manny: Turningbacktheclock.Disgusting!Jay: Don'tjudgeme.You'veneverbeenmarried.Thisneverhappened.Manny: Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout.Jay: That'sagoodman.Manny: Boy.I'maboy! Mitchell: Youallright?Youokay?Donald: W-whydoyouask?Mitchell: Oh.Okay.Well,Ithinkthisisforyou.Helen: I-Idon'tknowwhattosaytohim.Cameron: Justopenyourheartandlisten,Helen.Helen: Okay.Hello?Donald: Idroppedyourphone.Mitchell: Yeah.Iwasherewhenithappened.Okay.It'sallright.We'lljust...Helen: Ican't.I-Ijustcan't.Cameron: Helen,youhavetotry.Ioncealmostletmyownfearsstopmefromembarkingonarelationship,andIwouldhavelosttheloveofmylife.Helen: Ohh.Donald: Helen!Helen: Donald!Mitchell: Cam...Cameron: Hangon.Hangon,Helen!I'llhaveyoudowninajiffy!Holdontight!Ow.Nails.Helen.Nails.Nails.Nails.Helen.Donald: Helen,pleasejustgivemeachance.Cameron: Givehimachance!!Mitchell: She'srighthere.Cam,comeon.We'rerunningoutoftime.Cameron: We'rerunningoutoftime?Sensitive.Gotohim.Helen: Ohh,I-it'snicethatyoucaresomuchaboutus.Cameron: Withoutlovewe'renothing.Helen: Butwhatabouthiswife?Cameron: Itwasapleasuremeetingyouboth. Claire: Igetit,Luke.Youthinkhe'sthefunone.That'swhyyou'dgowithhim.Luke: What?Claire: YouthinkyourdadismorefunthanIam.Luke: Definitely.Claire: "Definitely."Luke: Dad's,like,crazy-fun.Claire: Mm-hmm.Luke: Butyou'renice.Claire: I'mnice?!Luke: Well,notnow. Alex: Tellhim.Phil: Tellmewhat?Alex: Nothing.Phil: Hey,whatdowecalldaddy'scar,girls?Girls:Theconeoftrust.Phil: Theconeoftrust.Exactamundo.Whereyoucanspeakyourmindwithnojudgment.So,whatisit?Boys?Yourbodiesarechanging?Eggs?Alex: No!No.Wewerejustthinkingthatmaybe...If...ifyou'reopentoit...Haley: Dad,weloveyou,butwedonotwanttogotofamilycampthisyear.Alex: Dad?Areyouupset?Phil: Nope.Haley: Thenwhatwasthatsniff?Phil: Sniff?Whatsniff?I'm...I'm,uh...I'mactuallyrelieved.ThedaythatI'vebeendreading,uh,thedaywhenyoutwofinallyoutgrowme,hasfinallyarrived,andI'mhandlingitreallywell.Haley: Dad,areyoucrying?Phil: Nope.Alex: Areyousureyou'reokay?Phil: Yep.Alex: Oh,myGod.Heiscrying.I'veneverseendadcrybefore.Haley: But,dad,ifyoucry,thenI'llcry!Phil: I'mnotcrying.Haley: Wemadeourdaddycry!Phil: Youcalledmedaddy?Haley: Becauseyouareourdaddy!Phil: I'llalwaysbeyourdaddy! Luke: Don'tcry,mom.Claire: Iamnotcrying.Letmefillyouinonalittlesecret,Luke. WhenImetyourdad,Iwasfun,too.ButIhadtogiveallthatup,becauseyoucan'thavetwofunparents.That'sacarnival.YouknowthatkidLiamwhowearspajamapantstoschoolandpaysforthingswitha$100bill?Twofunparents.Markmywords.Mm-hmm. Phil: Oh,myGod!Ohh! Luke: You'refun,too,mom.Uh-huh.IjustsaidI'dgowithdadbecauseIthinkhe'dneedmemore. Gloria: HowcomeIdoallthelookingandyoudoallthesitting?Jay: 'Causeyoudoallthelosing.Gloria: Oh,andyou'rethiscloseofdoingallthesleepinginatentinthebackyard!Jay: Didyoucheckyourpurse?Gloria: Yes,ofcourse!Jay: It'sabigpurse.Youmightwanttolookagain.Gloria: Okay.Icheck.Yourest.No.There'snothing.Jay: You'resure?Gloria: Yes.I'velookedtwicenow.There'snothing.Okay.Jay: Thenyoubettercallusacab!Manny!Manny?Whatthehell?Where'dthatthingcomefrom?Manny: Christmas.Twoyearsago.Nevertookitoutofthebox."Whowouldenjoythat?"Ithought.Akid,that'swho.Jay: Well,comeon.We'vegotyourparty.Manny: What'sthepoint?Youwereright.I-Iwasborn16.I'velostmychildhood.Gloria: Whydidyouwantmetolookagaininmypurse,Jay,huh?Isitbecauseyouputthekeysinthere?Jay: No.Whydidyoufindit?Gloria: Yes,Ifoundthembecauseyouputthekeysinthere!Manny,whatthehellareyoudoingthere?Jay: Hewantstocancelhispartybecausehemissedhischildhood.Gloria: ThepartythatIhaverescheduledthreetimes,changedtherestauranttwicesothatthewholefamilycouldbetogether?!Manny: Pleasesendmyregrets.Now,ifIcouldhavealittleprivacy...Gloria: Privacy?!Estoesloquemefaltabaamí.Privacy?!¿enestacasa?Jay: Isthataskateboarddownthere?Manny: Thesecondthingthatslippedrightoutfromundermetoday.Jay: Okay,timetogetout.Manny: Thefirstwasmychildhood.Jay: Igetit!Gloria: Iamsosickofstubbornmen!You,youactlikealittleboythatdoesn'twanttoacceptthathe'swrong.Andyoulikeasadoldmanthatdoesn'twttobehappy!That'sit!Manny: Youcouldhaveshotme!Gloria: Comeon,Manny.Icould'veunbuttonedyourshirtifIwantedto.Nowcomehere,orsink!AndI'mtakingthiswithmeinthecar.Jay: Vámonos. Cameron: Iknowthatface,Mitchell.Mitchell: Okay,a-andwe'rewalking.Cameron: ItmeansyouwererightandIwaswrongfortryingtohelptwopeople.Mitchell: Adulterers?Cameron: Fairenough.Mitchell: A-actually,themostadultadulterersever.Cameron: Butmyimpulsewasstillright.Mitchell: Oh,God.Herewego.Cameron: Lifeisaboutbeing...yes.Youknowwhat?Herewedogo.It'saboutbeingspontaneous.It'saboutthrowingyourselfintosomething,notworkinglonghourseverynightattheoffice.It'slikeyou'relivingyourl...whatisthis?Mitchell: Idon'tknow.Cameron: Excuseme,constable,what...whatisgoingon?Oh,it'saflashmob!It'saflashmob!Ooh!WesawitonYouTube.Remember?Peoplegettogetherandchoreographbigdancenumbers!Mitchell: Weshouldgo.T-thisiskindofweird.Cameron: No,thisisjoyful,Mitchell.You,ofallpeople,should... Mitchell: Cam'sright.Icanbealittlerigid.SowhenChadfromaccounting,whoIalwaysthoughtwasgaybutapparentlyisnot,um,toldmeaboutthisflashmob,Ithought,"Hellsyes."Uh,we'vebeenpracticingafterworkacoupleofnightsaweek.Andit's...it'sbeenabigcommitment,butit'stotallyworthit.ThisdanceismylovelettertoCam. Mitchell: Okay,so,thisiswhyIwasrushingyouaround.Huh?Whatdoyouthinkofmenow?Cameron: Howcouldyou,Mitchell?Mitchell: What?Cameron.Cameron.Cameron: Notnow.Donald! Luke: Youdofunstuff.Youputthatpotatochipinmysandwich.Thatwasacrunchysurprise.Claire: Nope,thatwasyourdad.Everythingfunisyourdad. SecondChristmas,Italian-accentnight...thisrace.Luke: Whichwecould'vewon.Yourwayiswayfaster.Claire: Itis,isn'tit?Buckleup,Luke.Todayyouhavetwofunparents.Luke: Comeon,mom.Youcandoit.Claire: That'srightIcan. Gloria: Tellmethetruth,Jay.Didyouputthekeyinmybag?Jay: No.Gloria: Iwon'tbemad.Jay: Inordertoproveapoint,Imayhave...Gloria: Iknewit!Ow!Jay: WhydidIgetyousuchabigwatch?!Gloria: Why,Jay?!Whatpointdidyouhavetoprove?!Jay: I'mtryingtoteachyoutobeorganized.Yourmindisscattered,Gloria.Gloria: Yourmindisgonnabescattered.Manny,handmethegun! Cameron: Iappreciatethegesture,andI'mnotproudofhowI'mfeelingrightnow,butthefactis,youcheatedonme.Mitchell: InwhatwaydidIcheatonyou?Cameron: Youcheatedonmewithchoreography,andthatistheworstkind.Mitchell: Well,itreallyisn't.Cameron: Youdancedwithoutme,Mitchell! Phil: IfI'dknownitwasmylastsummerthere,I'dhavegonefortheleadin"pippin."Alex: Dad,lookupahead.Comingatus.There'smom!Beather!Haley: Idon'tthinkhe'sinthemoodforthatrightnow.Alex: Holdon.No.Ifeveramanneededawin,it'sthisman.Haley: Whatdoyousay,dad?Phil: Okay.Thisone'sforfamilycamp.Alex: Whoo!Haley: Whoo-hoo!Girls:Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Ohhh...Claire: Thisissoinappropriate!Luke: Iloveyou!Girls:Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Go!Manny: Mom,lookout!Gloria: Ay!Mitchell: Cam!Anybodyhurt?Cmaeron:Iam. Manny: Iwasalmosttoodepressedtocometoday.IrealizedIletmychildhoodslipaway.LookatLukethere...makingonebigstrawoutofthree.Neverchange,Luke.Ireallythoughtitwastoolateforme.Butwatchingallyouactinglikechildren,ithitme...I'vegotplentyoftimelefttobeakid.Anyway,happybirthdaytome.All:Happybirthday,Manny.Cameron: :Ihavebeenachild.Jay: I'msorryIhidthekeys.Gloria: I'msorryIshoottheisland.Mmm.Phil: We'retotallyracinghome.Claire: I'mwayaheadofyou.Asusual. Manny: Theysayit'sgoingtobearainyweekend.Jay: Theydon'tknow.Manny: Ido.Myknee'sbeensingingallmorning.Jay: Unbelievable.Motherofg...Gloria: Putthemdownandwalkaway.Jay: Youknow,Gloria...