Score Explanation
This well organized and clearly focused essay demonstrates clear and
consistent mastery. The response effectively and insightfully develops the
point of view that "Even as society continues to make great strides in science
and technology that would appear beneficial, the truth remains that the
world is changing but the change itself is harmful." Demonstrating
outstanding critical thinking, the essay offers a series of clearly appropriate
and specific examples illustrating how "modern attitudes towards nature
have instated their own changes on the Earth, damaging it in an attempt to
improve." A smooth progression through several such "changes," ranging
from "Rainforest destruction ... and deforestation" to "The Exxon-Valdez oil
spill near Alaska," leads to the essay's conclusion that "The strain placed on
our natural resources by man's insatiable desire for convenience negates any
progress made, and makes the using up of the entire planets resources, thus
irreparably damaging her environment, a reality that advances with each
passing day." Throughout, the essay demonstrates meaningful variety in
sentence structure, and by consistently using a varied, accurate, and apt
vocabulary, the writer exhibits skillful use of language (“Whereas the Native
American tribes used every part of the animals they killed, the prestige and
value of animal skins and other parts for fur coats and jewelry has relegated
a multitude of species to the endangered status”). Therefore, this
outstanding essay is scored 6.
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