Score Explanation
This well organized and clearly focused essay demonstrates clear and
consistent mastery. The essay effectively and insightfully develops the point
of view that “Things that make our lives easier may not necessarily make
them better.” The writer demonstrates outstanding critical thinking by
focusing on the computer and the Internet as two examples of inventions
that have made life easier but not necessarily better. In paragraph two, the
essay describes skills that students are losing due to a growing reliance on
the computer. Paragraph three focuses on the ways the Internet has made
“our society corrupt” despite the many advantages made available by its
invention. The writer demonstrates clear coherence by using this example to
further support the idea that “students are becoming more lazy and their
abilities to think and learn for themselves are diminishing.” The writer
concludes by questioning the strength of future generations “if they are
dependent on machines.” Overall, this essay demonstrates clear coherence
and smooth progression of ideas. Using a varied, accurate, and apt
vocabulary, the writer exhibits skillful use of language (“Special features such
as spell-check, grammar-check, and the thesaurus have eliminated the
tedious process of trying to find words in a dictionary”). Throughout, the
essay demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure (“Do its
advantages outweigh its many consequences? Most people have decided that
they do in fact outweigh the consequences, and consequently, everything we
see today is computerized and on the Internet. Yet there have been
instances that I have seen that make me wonder whether it is really worth it
or not”). Therefore, this outstanding essay is scored 6.
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