923 The One In Barbados

923 The One In Barbados - Part 1/924 The One In Barbados - Part II 923 The One In Barbados - Part 1 [Scene: Central Perk] Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go! Ross: Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right? Joey: Mmh-mmh. Ross: (to Emma) Can you say Barbados? Joey: Barbados! Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars. Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them? Chandler: Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff". Phoebe: I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures. Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist! Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die. Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally. Ross: It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility! Opening credits [Scene: Paradise Hotel lounge in Barbados] Charlie: Wow! This place is beautiful! Ross: (very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!! Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them) Woman: Oh my God, I can't believe you're here! Joey: (to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time! Woman: Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan! Joey: That... never happens... Woman: I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech. Ross: Wow! This is very flattering, uh... Woman: I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad) Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Um... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad) Woman: Sarah. Ross: "... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller". Sarah: Thank you so much! Ross: Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani. Sarah: (to Joey) Are you a paleontologist? Joey: No, God, no! No! No no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives". Ross: Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the. Joey: (thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray. Sarah: I'm sorry, I don't own a TV. Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?? [Scene: Central Perk] Monica: David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air. David: Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion. Monica: (to Chandler) See? Chandler: Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind". Monica: Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip. Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there. (Everyone looks at her) Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike? David: Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend! Phoebe: That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about im! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past! David: It's ok. Ho-honest mistake. Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time! Chandler: (upset) She does? Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside) (Outside the Central Perk) Monica: At least you took me down with you! Phoebe: I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right? Monica: I guess, in time. Phoebe: Yeah. Monica: I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone. Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone! [Scene: Inside Central Perk] David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh? Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it. David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right? Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee. David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe... Chandler: Seriously, we're gonna do this? David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up? Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage? David: That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her! Chandler: What? David: Well, I was probably going to do it at some point. Chandler: I didn't mean now... David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely. Chandler: Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help. David: (after a while) How do you think I should propose? Chandler: David, I'm pretending to read here!! [Scene: Joey in his hotel in room in Barbados] (Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror) Joey: Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright! (Charlie comes out the bathroom) Joey: Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong? Charlie: (laughing) I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs... Joey: You really should have been more clear about that! (Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side) Ross: Hey! Joey: Hey! Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs! Joey: Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!? Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz! Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him? Ross: Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz? Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly) Ross: (to Charlie) Ready to go? Charlie: Yeah! Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out? Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech. Ross: Yeah. Charlie: But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic. Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong? Charlie: I will if you will. Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal! Ross: (a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them). Charlie: So you'll be ok? Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming... Ross: Uh, Joe, have you looked outside? Joey: No, why? (Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside) Joey: Oh man! Charlie: There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees) Joey: I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack) [Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch] Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David. Chandler: (smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do". Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee. Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe. Monica: What? (looks very shocked) Why? Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married. Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke? Chandler: I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said? Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again. Chandler: Man, that's some bad advice! [Scene: Barbados, hotel lounge. David, Phoebe and Rachel have just arrived.] (Joey spots them and walks towards them) Joey: Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here! Rachel: Hey! Hey what's going on? Joey: Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous! (Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving) Rachel: Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed! (Monica and Chandler reach the group) Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?! Chandler: That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross! Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave) Monica: (to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed! Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling! Monica: (shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe). Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy. Phoebe: Not Joey. Rachel: Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler. Monica: Yeah, right! [Cut to the guys] David: So, um... I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring) Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is! David: Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's um... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is um... is quite poor. Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica) Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel) Monica: Ok! Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight! Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to? Chandler: That would be advice!! Monica: Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe? Phoebe: Yeah? Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you. Phoebe: Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side) MOnica: Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight. Phoebe: Wow? Really? That's fantastic! Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike? Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream! Monica: Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer? Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna! [Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop] Ross: By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. Charlie: It's great. You're gonna be the hit of the conference. Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler). Joey: Hey guys! Ross: The chocolates aren't here yet. Joey: Damnit! Charlie: Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic! Chandler: Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...? Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended) Chandler: (offended) What? (pause) May I? Rachel: (looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season. Charlie: Actually the wet season is June to December. Rachel: It's not the time Charlie. Chandler: (at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no! Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot? Chandler: Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone! Ross: Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop) Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive. Ross: What, oh my God. What did you do? Chandler: Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it. Ross: Why, why would you open it? Chandler: Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!! Ross: What did it say? Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry. Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler! Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right? Ross: NO! I don't!! Chandler: Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...! [Time lapse: Ross looks likes he's been trying to fix his computer but just closes it as if giving up] Joey: It's really gone? Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career! Chandler: I just feel awful. Ross: Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament! Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross) Ross: Get out! (Chandler runs out) Rachel: You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work. Ross: Well, what do you do? Rachel: Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer. Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say? Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions. Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe! Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night! Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that? Charlie: Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey). Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can. Rachel: Ugh. Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Um, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... um, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic. Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave). [Scene: Mike's apartment. His phone rings and he picks up] Mike: Hello? Monica: Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up! Mike: Who is this? Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you! Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose? Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain) Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you. Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit! (Chandler walks in) Monica: (sarcastically) Well, I hope you're happy! Chandler: (pretending not to sense the tone) Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey! Monica: Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives! Chandler: Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great! Monica: No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike! Chandler: And there's not chance that will work? Monica: No, I called him. It's not gonna happen. Chandler: (pointing at her) Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler! Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place! Chandler: This vacation sucks!! [Scene: The hall, full of paleontologists. Rachel and Joey are walking around] Joey: I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything. Rachel: Well, I've brought some books. We could read. Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet. (A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray) Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do! Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away) Joey: Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention? Rachel: We can't. We're not pharmacists! Joey: (walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba... Rachel: (picking up another random badge) Kate Miller? Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast) Rachel: And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend. Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it) Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away) [Scene: Ross's room. Charlie is sitting on the bed, while Ross is walking up and down nervously] Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century. Ross: Yeah, that's it? Charlie: Yeah. Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly) Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech. Ross: Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace. Charlie: Thank you. Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne) Charlie: Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you. Ross: Oh my God, I love you. Charlie: Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation? Ross: That's Ben, my son from my first marriage. Charlie: Your first marriage? Ross: Yeah. Charlie: You're married more than once? Ross: No. (they clink glasses and drink) Charlie: So, why did you break up? Ross: (embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay. Charlie: Oh my God, this is so cool! Ross: Ok, odd thing to get excited about! Charlie: No, it's just... I was enganged to a guy who turned out to be gay! Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five) Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner. Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter. Charlie: Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along" Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay" Charlie: I know! Ross: And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome? Charlie: I didn't do that. Ross: (embarassed) Me neither. [Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails] Joey: Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun. Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home. Joey: Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like? Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts... Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like? Rachel: (takes a sip from her drink, embarassed) No. Joey: There it is, you're blushing! Rachel: No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain. Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little) Rachel: No. Joey: Tell me who it is. Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her) Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who? Rachel: Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen. Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get? Rachel: Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is? Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that? Rachel: Do ya? Joey: Yeah. (Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room) Ross and Charlie: Hey! (Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed) Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner. Joey: Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech? Ross: Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much. Charlie: I had a great time. Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who... Rachel: Later! La... Charlie: So, shall we? Joey: Yeah. (they leave) Rachel: Ok. See you, bye. Charlie: Bye. Ross: Good night. Joey: Night. (Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.) Ross and Rachel: Ok, good night! END 924 The One In Barbados - Part II [Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table] (Phoebe and David walk in) Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike. Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that. (David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's) David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say. Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go. Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honored, uh..." Spit it out, David! David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help! Phoebe: Sure, ok, yeah. David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end... (David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David) Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike! David: It's David, actually! Phoebe: No, Mike's here. David: (turns around) Hi Mike! Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh! Monica: IT'S THE HUMIDITY! Mike: Hi Phoebe. Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here? Mike: I have a question I need to ask you. David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself. Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this. David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well? Mike: Actually yeah, that'll be great. David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table) Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you. David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say. Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this. David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops. Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring... David: I have a ring. Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy. David: Phoebe, will you marry me? Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No! David: Um... Ha ha! Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future. Mike: We can have any future you want. (they hold their hands, gazing at each other) David: Ok, I'm gonna take off. Phoebe: David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. David: Just so I know, if I had asked first... Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong. David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves) Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now? Phoebe: Yes! (they hug) Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright? [Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.] Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day. Monica: I know (she snuggles to him) (Rachel runs in) Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes! Chandler: I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms! (Rachel opens the drapes) Monica: The sun is out! Chandler: Hey! Remember when I had corneas? Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion. Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes. Rachel: Nooo! Monica: Damn it! Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys! [Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech] Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating. Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous! Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus... Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores. (the paleontologist glares at Chandler) Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development. (all the paleontologists laugh) Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really? Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus... (Joey laughs) Charlie: What? Joey: He said "erectus"! Charlie: You're... you're kidding, right? Joey: No, he really said it. Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus... (Rachel laughs) Joey: Erectus? Rachel: Homo. [Scene: the hotel conference room] Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you! (Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him) Ross: Oh, thanks guys! Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful! Ross: Oh! Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully). Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away) Rachel: All right! Well, uh... (to Monica) we're gonna hit the beach? Monica: Yeah! Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great! Ross: Oh, thank you so much! Joey: Yeah, and so funny! Rachel: Oh! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica) Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here! Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it! (Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David) Mike: Oh... I'm back! Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah? Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave) (Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention) Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation) Charlie: You were incredible! Ross: Yeah? Charlie: You blew them away! Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me? Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not! Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star! Charlie: Oh my God! (pauses) I'm your groupie! Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room! (Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.) Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far! [Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.] Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!! (They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks) Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on! (Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks) Monica: So, what are we gonna do today? Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff. Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play! Chandler: I don't think so! Monica: (disappointed) Why not? Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying! Monica: I'm not always that bad! Chandler: Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time? Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...? Chandler: And...? Monica: ... Phoebe...? Phoebe: ... and...? Monica: I clunked your heads together! (Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look) [Scene: Joey and Charlie's room] (Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself) Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are! Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic) Charlie: I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon. Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you... Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night... Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face) Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun! Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun! Charlie: Yeah... (There's an awkward moment of silence) Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other? Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah... Charlie: (sitting down on the bed) I think we need to talk...! (pause) Joey: Yeah... I think we do... (sighs, with folded arms)... about what? [Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in] Monica: C'mon guys, it'll be fun! Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score! Monica: But then how do we know who wins? Phoebe: Nobody wins! Monica: So, we're just four losers... SUPER! Chandler: I'm not playing with you. Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out. Mike: I'll play ya! Monica: (smiling) OK! Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing! Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary! (Monica rolls her eyes) Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve? Monica: Sure! Got to! (Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores) Monica: Aww! Mike: Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!! Chandler: (nearly whispering) Oh dear God, there's two of them! Mike: You're ready to play? Monica: Hell, yeah! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him? Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you! Mike: Wanna make it more interesting? Monica: How much were you thinking? Mike: Ten bucks a game? Monica: Make it fifty! Mike: I'll make it a hundred! Monica: (nearly shouting) One thousand... Chandler: (interrupting her) OK! Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter? Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter? Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him! Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it. Monica: Heads! No, Tails! He-he-heads! Phoebe: Tails! Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances! (They start playing again) Monica: Ha! My point! Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point. Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer! [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.] Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny! Rachel: Oh! Weather bitch! (turns the TV off) (Someone knocks on the door) Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe! Joey: (downhearted) Hey... Rachel: (worried) What, is everything ok? Joey: Uh... Charlie and I broke up. Rachel: Nooooo, why? Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common. Rachel: (laughing) Oh, that's crazy! Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common! Rachel: ... yeah, it's true. Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull! Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey! Joey: (laughing sarcastically) Ok, Rach! (He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed) Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls? Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about? Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed) Rachel: Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl... Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me! Rachel: Yeah, I'm not talking about her... Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look) Rachel: You know? Forget it! Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about? Rachel: No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So! Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later! Rachel: Yeah, sure! (Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed) [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel] Joey: You like me? (shuts the door) Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, let's not make a big thing about this! Joey: (shocked) That's a huge thing! Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will! Joey: What... for how long? Rachel: Only like a month! Joey: (outraged) A MONTH?? Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little! Joey: (stands up) I just have one question! Rachel: Shoot! Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'??? Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?... Joey: Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!! Rachel: (puzzled) Who...? Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat! Rachel: Oh yes, of course, I remember him! Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route. Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about! Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen! Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit? Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all! Rachel: But why, why not? Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross! Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before! Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...! Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything! Joey: NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal! Rachel: It's not a big deal! Joey: NO BIG DEAL! Rachel: It's so not a big deal! Joey: Yeah! I'll see ya later! Yeah! Rachel: Ok! (They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door) Rachel: Ok, I... (Joey falls backwards into the room) Rachel: AAAHHHH! (Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away) [Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong] Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table! Mike: Do you? Monica: Ah, yeah! Mike: Do you? Monica: Ah, yeaaah! Mike: DO YOU? Monica: AH YEAAAAH! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him? Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now? (Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits) Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one. Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head! (Mike scores) Monica: Oh, damn it! Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him! Mike: (boasting) Game, point! Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl? Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that. (they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game) Monica: NO, NO, NOOO! Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him) Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner. Monica: Best out of three? Mike: That's what I'm thinking. Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil? Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump! Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump. Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back. [Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking] Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks. If you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty! Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles) Woman: Jarvis? Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy. Ross: Get Out! (Charlie walks by) Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute? Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on? Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up. Ross: Oh my God, wh-what happened? Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus! Ross: I knew that was him! Charlie: Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best. Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok? Charlie: I guess. There was um... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else. (some paleontologists interrupt them) Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker. Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here. Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later? Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now! Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them) [Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong] (Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs) Mike: Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41. Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough! Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him! Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head! Monica: I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours! Chandler: But... Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness! Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning? Monica: That's just good sense! (they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand) Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream) Chandler: You ok? Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play! Mike: So you forfeit? Phoebe: Mike wins? Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost! Chandler: No, you didn't. Monica: What? Chandler: Because I'm gonna play for ya. Phoebe: You can't do that! Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat. Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister. Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this. Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you. Monica: But... you suck! Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart. (Chandler prepares to play) Chandler: All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins. Mike: Ok! (They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all) Monica: Oh my God! You're good! Phoebe: It's like watching porn! (Chandler scores and wins the match) Chandler: And that's... how... it's done! Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking? Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was! Monica: Why? Chandler: I don't know. Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments! Chandler: That's why! [Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant] Charlie: Thanks!Ross: Hi. Charlie: Are they still looking for us? Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest. (Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen) Ross: I don't think they saw us. Charlie: I don't think they did. (They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back) Charlie: Um, so, I started to say you something earlier, um... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else. Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who? Charlie: I think you know. Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so... (Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back) Ross: I'm sorry... we... we can't. Charlie: All right, all right. Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately) (Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens) Rachel: What? (Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face") END 924 The One In Barbados - Part II [Scene: The restaurant. Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table] (Phoebe and David walk in) Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike. Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that. (David and Phoebe sit down at a table close to Chandler and Monica's) David: Uh, Phoebe, uh, I have... something I wanna say. Monica: Oh my God, he's gonna do it now. Please, I cannot watch this, let's go. Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honored, uh..." Spit it out, David! David: Uh, Phoebe, uh... (Chandler hits his own head) you're an amazing woman, and the time we spent apart was, was unbearable. Of course the sanitation strikes in Minsk didn't help! Phoebe: Sure, ok, yeah. David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end... (David produces the ring. At the same time, Mike walks in, behind David) Phoebe: Oh my God, Mike! David: It's David, actually! Phoebe: No, Mike's here. David: (turns around) Hi Mike! Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh! Monica: IT'S THE HUMIDITY! Mike: Hi Phoebe. Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here? Mike: I have a question I need to ask you. David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself. Mike: Yeah, I understand, but before you do, she really needs to hear this. David: (annoyed) Ok, would you care for my seat as well? Mike: Actually yeah, that'll be great. David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table) Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you. David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say. Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this. David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops. Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring... David: I have a ring. Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy. David: Phoebe, will you marry me? Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No! David: Um... Ha ha! Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future. Mike: We can have any future you want. (they hold their hands, gazing at each other) David: Ok, I'm gonna take off. Phoebe: David, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. David: Just so I know, if I had asked first... Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong. David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves) Mike: Is it ok if I hug you now? Phoebe: Yes! (they hug) Monica: (to everybody) BECAUSE OF OUR MEDDLING! Alright? [Scene: Monica and Chandler's room. Monica and Chandler are in bed.] Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day. Monica: I know (she snuggles to him) (Rachel runs in) Rachel: (walking in hurriedly) Open your drapes! Open your drapes! Chandler: I'm so glad we've got adjoining rooms! (Rachel opens the drapes) Monica: The sun is out! Chandler: Hey! Remember when I had corneas? Monica: Ok listen, you go down to the pool and reserve the chairs, and I'll get the magazines and the lotion. Chandler: Ladies? Ross's speech is in 45 minutes. Rachel: Nooo! Monica: Damn it! Ross: (from across the wall) Walls are pretty thin, guys! [Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech] Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating. Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous! Ross: Finally, factoring the profusion of new species recently discovered: Gigantosaurus, Argentinasaurus... Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores. (the paleontologist glares at Chandler) Ross: And that's just the herbivores. I'm not even gonna discuss the carnivores, their heads are already too big. Which is ironic considering their stunted cerebral development. (all the paleontologists laugh) Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really? Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus... (Joey laughs) Charlie: What? Joey: He said "erectus"! Charlie: You're... you're kidding, right? Joey: No, he really said it. Ross: ... and while there are certainly vast differences between these Mesozoic fossiles and the example of Homo erectus... (Rachel laughs) Joey: Erectus? Rachel: Homo. [Scene: the hotel conference room] Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you! (Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him) Ross: Oh, thanks guys! Man with a bow tie: (shaking hands with Ross) I thought... it was wonderful! Ross: Oh! Man with a bow tie: Jarvis Oberblau, Cornell. (sighs) I mean, the ideas you put forth and, and from someone... so... young... and... (sighs again and smiles at Ross blissfully). Ross: (with a frozen smile on his face, realizing something's wrong with Jarvis) Ok... now... now we're just holding hands! (pulls his hand away) Rachel: All right! Well, uh... (to Monica) we're gonna hit the beach? Monica: Yeah! Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great! Ross: Oh, thank you so much! Joey: Yeah, and so funny! Rachel: Oh! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica) Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here! Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it! (Ross is dumbfounded to see Mike instead of David) Mike: Oh... I'm back! Ross: (skating over, embarrassed) Ok!... Uh... excuse me? Yeah? Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave) (Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention) Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation) Charlie: You were incredible! Ross: Yeah? Charlie: You blew them away! Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me? Charlie: (smiling broadly) I was not! Ross: No, it's ok! Made me feel like a rock star! Charlie: Oh my God! (pauses) I'm your groupie! Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room! (Ross giggles, but Charlie isn't amused at all.) Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far! [Scene: the hotel lobby. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in from the outside.] Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!! (They approach the buffet, where a couple of paleontologists are sipping their drinks) Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on! (Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk away, sipping their drinks) Monica: So, what are we gonna do today? Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff. Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play! Chandler: I don't think so! Monica: (disappointed) Why not? Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying! Monica: I'm not always that bad! Chandler: Oh, yeah? What happened when we played last time? Monica: (hesitatingly) I punched you...? Chandler: And...? Monica: ... Phoebe...? Phoebe: ... and...? Monica: I clunked your heads together! (Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look) [Scene: Joey and Charlie's room] (Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself) Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are! Joey: Hey! (stands up) As soon as it stops raining we have got to go snorkeling! Some kid told me about the sea turtle and, if you blow bubbles in its face, it chases ya! (smiles ecstatic) Charlie: I'm sorry, I can't! I'm running a discussion group all afternoon. Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you... Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night... Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face) Charlie: Actually, it turned out to be a lot of fun! Joey: (bewildered) Oh! Oh, well! At least we're both having fun! Charlie: Yeah... (There's an awkward moment of silence) Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other? Joey: Yeah! A little bit, yeah... Charlie: (sitting down on the bed) I think we need to talk...! (pause) Joey: Yeah... I think we do... (sighs, with folded arms)... about what? [Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in] Monica: C'mon guys, it'll be fun! Phoebe: All right, all right... I'll play if we don't keep score! Monica: But then how do we know who wins? Phoebe: Nobody wins! Monica: So, we're just four losers... SUPER! Chandler: I'm not playing with you. Phoebe: Yeah, I'm out. Mike: I'll play ya! Monica: (smiling) OK! Phoebe: Mike, you don't know, you don't know what you're doing! Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary! (Monica rolls her eyes) Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve? Monica: Sure! Got to! (Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores) Monica: Aww! Mike: Oh, by the way... I'm awesome!! Chandler: (nearly whispering) Oh dear God, there's two of them! Mike: You're ready to play? Monica: Hell, yeah! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him? Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you! Mike: Wanna make it more interesting? Monica: How much were you thinking? Mike: Ten bucks a game? Monica: Make it fifty! Mike: I'll make it a hundred! Monica: (nearly shouting) One thousand... Chandler: (interrupting her) OK! Mike: To see who goes first, you got a quarter? Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter? Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him! Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it. Monica: Heads! No, Tails! He-he-heads! Phoebe: Tails! Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances! (They start playing again) Monica: Ha! My point! Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point. Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer! [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. She is watching the Weather Channel on TV.] Alexandra Steele: (meteorologist) (pointing to the East Coast)... all these coasts having beautiful weather. In New York, it's 72 and sunny! Rachel: Oh! Weather bitch! (turns the TV off) (Someone knocks on the door) Rachel: It's open! (Joey walks in) Hi, Joe! Joey: (downhearted) Hey... Rachel: (worried) What, is everything ok? Joey: Uh... Charlie and I broke up. Rachel: Nooooo, why? Joey: Oh well, she said we have nothing in common. Rachel: (laughing) Oh, that's crazy! Joey: No, it's not, we have nothing in common! Rachel: ... yeah, it's true. Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull! Rachel: (pretending to be offended) What, hey! Joey: (laughing sarcastically) Ok, Rach! (He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed) Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls? Rachel: W-What are you, what are you talking about? Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed) Rachel: Ok... uh... maybe you're not always going after the wrong girl... Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me! Rachel: Yeah, I'm not talking about her... Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look) Rachel: You know? Forget it! Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about? Rachel: No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So! Joey: Ok! All right, well... I'm gonna see if I can get a room for the night and I'll... I'll see you later! Rachel: Yeah, sure! (Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed) [Scene: Rachel's hotel room. Joey is standing at the door, facing Rachel] Joey: You like me? (shuts the door) Rachel: (nearly whispering) Ok, let's not make a big thing about this! Joey: (shocked) That's a huge thing! Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will! Joey: What... for how long? Rachel: Only like a month! Joey: (outraged) A MONTH?? Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little! Joey: (stands up) I just have one question! Rachel: Shoot! Joey: (desperate) What the hell are you doin'??? Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?... Joey: Uh, am I curious? I mean, I am as curious as... as... George!! Rachel: (puzzled) Who...? Joey: CURIOUS GEORGE! You know, the monkey, and the guy with the yellow hat! Rachel: Oh yes, of course, I remember him! Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route. Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about! Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen! Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit? Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all! Rachel: But why, why not? Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross! Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before! Joey: I know, I know! But I've thought about it a lot since, and it just wouldn't be right... (painfully) I'm sorry...! Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything! Joey: NO! No-no-no-no-no-no! Hey! Hey, we'll be fine! Li... hey, like you said: no big deal! Rachel: It's not a big deal! Joey: NO BIG DEAL! Rachel: It's so not a big deal! Joey: Yeah! I'll see ya later! Yeah! Rachel: Ok! (They shake hands, he walks out and shuts the door, then seems to change his mind, moves to open the door, than changes his mind again and leans over the door. Just then, Rachel opens the door) Rachel: Ok, I... (Joey falls backwards into the room) Rachel: AAAHHHH! (Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away) [Scene: the hotel game room. Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong] Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table! Mike: Do you? Monica: Ah, yeah! Mike: Do you? Monica: Ah, yeaaah! Mike: DO YOU? Monica: AH YEAAAAH! Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him? Phoebe: (looking at Mike) Oh, yeah! (turning to Chandler) Are you telling me you... you're not even... a little turned on by Monica, right now? (Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits) Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one. Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head! (Mike scores) Monica: Oh, damn it! Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him! Mike: (boasting) Game, point! Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl? Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that. (they continue to play ping pong and then Mike scores, winning the game) Monica: NO, NO, NOOO! Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him) Chandler: Okay-dokay, you've each won a game and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life. So everybody goes home a winner. Monica: Best out of three? Mike: That's what I'm thinking. Chandler: Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil? Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump! Mike: (doing Monica and mumbling): Serve the ball, chump. Phoebe: (to Mike) Ok Mike, better come back Mike, better come back. [Scene: hotel's bar, Ross and Mr. Oberblau are talking] Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks. If you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty! Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles) Woman: Jarvis? Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy. Ross: Get Out! (Charlie walks by) Charlie: Ross, can I talk to you for a minute? Ross: Yes, please! (they move and sit down on a sofa) So, what's going on? Charlie: Uh, well... Joey and I broke up. Ross: Oh my God, wh-what happened? Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus! Ross: I knew that was him! Charlie: Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best. Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok? Charlie: I guess. There was um... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else. (some paleontologists interrupt them) Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker. Ross: Oh, professor Clerk we're kind of in the middle of a conversation, here. Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later? Professore Clerk: Or we could throw you both in now! Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them) [Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong] (Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs) Mike: Ok, so it's a tie again, 41 to 41. Chandler: (exhausted) Ok, look! Enough is enough! Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him! Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head! Monica: I can't just walk away! I've put in four hours! Chandler: But... Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness! Chandler: What about the obsessive cleaning? Monica: That's just good sense! (they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand) Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream) Chandler: You ok? Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play! Mike: So you forfeit? Phoebe: Mike wins? Monica: I can't believe it! (pause) I lost! Chandler: No, you didn't. Monica: What? Chandler: Because I'm gonna play for ya. Phoebe: You can't do that! Mike: Oh, that's ok. I don't care which of them I beat. Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister. Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this. Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you. Monica: But... you suck! Chandler: (Still in a loving voice) You're welcome, sweetheart. (Chandler prepares to play) Chandler: All right Mike, let's get this over with. Sudden death. Whoever wins this point, wins. Mike: Ok! (They start playing and Chandler does not suck at all) Monica: Oh my God! You're good! Phoebe: It's like watching porn! (Chandler scores and wins the match) Chandler: And that's... how... it's done! Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking? Chandler: I never sucked, I actually didn't want you to know how good I was! Monica: Why? Chandler: I don't know. Monica: This is so great! Now we can enter into doubles tournaments! Chandler: That's why! [Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant] Charlie: Thanks!Ross: Hi. Charlie: Are they still looking for us? Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest. (Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen) Ross: I don't think they saw us. Charlie: I don't think they did. (They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back) Charlie: Um, so, I started to say you something earlier, um... (pause) There was another reason I realized it was time to end it with Joey. I kind of realized I... was starting to have feelings... for someone else. Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who? Charlie: I think you know. Ross: I think I know too but I've been really wrong about this stuff in the past, so... (Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back) Ross: I'm sorry... we... we can't. Charlie: All right, all right. Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately) (Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens) Rachel: What? (Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face") END 923 924 巴巴多斯岛之行 嗨! 行囊备好，准备上路! 哦，太好了! 爸爸和乔叔叔要去旅行. 我们要去巴巴多斯参加会议，是不是? 嗯... 说...巴-巴-多-斯 巴巴多斯! 好的,知道吗 你们能去听我的演讲简直太棒了! 给你们个惊喜, 嗯... 这些胸卡，可以确保每个人 都能完整地参加这次会议! 没错儿! 有了这个宝贝，你们可以 参加所有的古生物学演讲和研讨会. 你有没有能让我们...远离他们的东西? 罗斯 我们迫不及待要听你的演讲， 可是其他的时间，我们想过些"岛上生活". 我想大卫会去听些其他的演讲. 没错儿, 他也是个科学家! 不, 不，因为 因为他在明斯克待了八年， 如果太阳晒多了，他可能会死. 好的,我们要出发了,那么,明天见了! 上路了! 和查莉五小时的飞行 喝几杯小酒, 钻到毯子下做些"自然"事儿~~ 那只是个毯子,乔,不是隐身斗篷! 哇! 这儿真美! 看看这儿有多少古生物学家!! 没错儿, 明天泳池边肯定 会有不少面无血色的人! 天啊, 真不敢相信你在这儿! 我肯定是被认出来了,每次都这样! 盖勒博士，我可迷你了 这可... 从没发生过... 我关注您已经多年, 我简直等不及要听你这次的报告了. 哇! 你可真会说话... 能给我签个名吗. 呃... 没问题! 嗯... "亲爱的..." 萨拉. ... 萨拉. 我钻研你, 嗯? "罗斯-盖勒博士". 非常感谢! 嗯,萨拉... 给你介绍一下我的伙伴 Wheeler教授, 这位是乔伊-崔比阿尼. 你也是古生物学者? 不! 不!当然不是,我是个演员 如果你看过那部小电视剧<<我们那生活>>, 你会认得我. 伙计, 是《我们的生活》...没有“那” 没错! 真有趣耶! 不, 我扮演Drake Ramoray大夫 抱歉, 我没有电视机 你没有电视机? 那你的家具摆放 以什么为中心？ 大卫, 快来帮个忙?! 我在跟钱德解释 为什么飞机会在天空中飞行 行. 这遵循的是贝努利方程 （一元理想气体绝热流动微分方程） 和牛顿第三运动定律 明白? 是啊,听上去“好像跟风有点关系” 好吧, 我要去收拾行李了 哦，我也去. 嗯 明天咱们一起打车去机场， 还是我和麦克在那儿与你们会合？ 麦克?? 谁是麦克? 麦克是你前... 男友! 没错儿! 唔... 我都快把他给忘了! 噢! 那是... 过眼云烟! 没事儿. 诚实的错误. 这说明不了什么. 我是说, 莫妮卡一直管钱德叫理查! 是吗? 赶紧走吧!! 你竟拖我下水！ 真...不好意思!! 我一直在想念麦克! 我喜欢大卫，我们在一起很快乐. 为什么我还会想麦克呢? 会过去的，对吗? 总会过去的 是啊 我对理查已经完全没感觉了 你刚还又想他了呢. 钱德，你对钱德已经完全没感觉了! 菲比还是对麦克恋恋不舍，对吧? 不予置评 女朋友把你叫成了以前的男朋友 可不是件好事吧? 大卫, 别往下说了，我想我明白你的处境. 我不善于给人出主意. 如果你想要好的建议,去找罗斯， 莫妮卡，或是...乔伊... 如果你想了解顶尖比萨或者超爽小便的话~~ 抱歉，我只是...不知道 自己能做些什么，菲比她... 你真的想谈谈? 抱歉, 我希望自己可以帮她忘了麦克 菲比为什么和麦克分手? 因为他“太大了”. 对不起, 我是说我自己. 他们分手是因为麦克并不想结婚. 你是不是该让她知道你是想结婚的? 对啊! 太棒了! 我要向她求婚! 什么? 我会找个适当的时机跟她求婚的. 我不是说现在... 为什么不? 这太好了! 拜拜麦克, 婚礼上见，小子! 可我们并不想邀请你... 谢了，钱德，真的. 不谢! 不谢! 我应该求婚吗? 大卫, 我正装着读报呢!! 嗨，小姐~~太飒了! 嗨! 你不是说要穿丁字裤吗，在哪儿呢? 不是，我说人字鞋…… 你应该说明白点儿吗! 嘿! 嗨! 你绝对想不到，我刚在楼下看见谁了! 哦! 呃... 小甜甜!? 她绝不会错过这种会议! 我刚看见Kenneth Schwartz博士了! 天啊! 你和他说话了吗? 呃... 我要和他说什么? 你可以说: "Kenny, 你怎么不是小甜甜?" 准备好了吗? 是的! 什...? 你们要出去? 我以为你会陪我 不行... 有一天的研究会要参加， 我还答应观看他的演讲. 是的. 我们可以一起吃晚饭? 在阳台上? 多浪漫. 你会穿丁字裤? 你要穿我就穿. 说定了，有点怪不是吗 没事儿,我晚餐有伴儿了. 你一个人没事吧? 当然. 有很多事情可以做呢， 我要去海滩，游游泳... 乔, 你没看见吗? 没，怎么? 天! 你可以在室内泳池游! 我没想去游泳，我想去挖洞! 哇! 麦克的事太有趣了 真不知道菲比和大卫会怎么发展. 我愿意! 小提示? 我愿意 "我愿意". 这有点像个文字游戏 因为你高兴得容光焕发. 大卫要向菲比求婚. 什么? 为什么? 因-为, 我们研究了打败麦克的 方法 快递客服问题件处理详细方法山木方法pdf计算方法pdf华与华方法下载八字理论方法下载 ， 我跟他说菲比想结婚. 钱德，我早就跟你说过了， 不许帮人瞎出主意! 你就不能随便开个玩笑吗 ? 我开了! 用那话儿开玩笑! 那你说，我做错什么了? 他们才在一起没几天，菲比还想着麦克呢! 她会说 "不", 这会伤了大卫的心 再让他们复合就难了， 菲比又会孤老一生的! 这可真不是什么好建议! 嗨! 感谢上帝你们终于来了! 嘿! 玩得怎么样? 乱作一团! 下了一天的雨, 没人看电视，而且罗斯很出名儿! 我不是吓唬人 到这儿后莫妮卡的头发比以前多了两倍! 没错儿! 当我呆在湿度大的地方， 我的身体会有些异常 这就是我们的蜜月照片看起来 像是我和戴安娜-罗斯的原因! 来吧, 我领你们去登记 亲爱的, 去确定一下咱们的大床 大卫, 咱们也要一个! 看看有没有心型的! 天花板要有镜子! 咱们决不挨着他们. 你们都有人陪，真羡慕 多浪漫的地方. 我只是希望也能和谁在一起... 不是乔伊吧. 不是乔伊, 当然, 我在想钱德 没问题! 嗯...我今晚要向菲比求婚. 今晚?! 订婚戒指是不是 应该有钻石? 噢，看见了! 失败的科学家挣的可没你想的那么多. 七十分之一克拉... 透明度... 不太高. 不错! 莫妮卡, 来说句话 好! 大卫今晚要向菲比求婚! 看见你建议的结果了吧? 你建议他别去了吗? 那可是个建议!! 好吧.我来解决. 菲比? 嗯? 跟你说件事. 你要放弃“超级”大床? 我老公刚刚给你男友出了个馊主意. 听着，大卫今晚要向你求婚. 喔? 真的吗? 太棒了! 你是认真的? 你想嫁给他? 那... 麦克呢? 你想我嫁给麦克? 好吧, 咱们把他骗来，逼他走上红地毯 听见了吗: "麦克, 你愿意娶菲比..." 这是每个女孩儿的梦想! 你真的愿意和别人结婚吗? 当然! 底线: 我爱麦克... 大卫! 大卫. 我爱大卫. 别这么看着我, 罗斯尼-罗斯戴安娜! 通过使用CT扫描仪和电脑成像 我们可以把中生纪真实的带到21世纪. 太棒了. 这次的会议你肯定能一举成功 知道吗, 明天还会更棒 因为我不会再被乔伊打搅了， 他老是怀疑我的枕头里塞了巧克力 你们好! 巧克力还没塞进去呢. 该死! 罗斯刚刚读了他的报告，太棒了! 在电脑里呢, 我也来读读...? 如果你想检查邮件，尽管说! 什么? 可以吗? 怎么下雨了? 我预约的是意大利周, 可没人告诉我会是雨季 实际上，雨季是六到十二月. 现在还没到呢 噢...天啊...不! 是不是那个茶壶有人比你出价高了? 呃! 秘密茶壶? 你的电脑, 我不知...所有东西都没了! 你...你说什么? 病毒，病毒删了你硬盘上所有的东西. 老天. 你干什么了? 我打开了一封不知道谁的邮件. 你干吗打开? 又没写着“有病毒”!! 写的是什么? 裸体... 安娜-库尔尼科娃的照片，抱歉. 我...可怎么办? 我的演讲稿没了,钱德! 不会的! 你肯定打印出来了吧. 你做备份了,是不是? 我没做!!! 那你可真得好好自责一下了... 文件都不见了? 是! 真谢谢你们跑到我这儿来 抱怨天气, 还毁了我的工作! 我感觉太糟了! 可不是! 安娜-库尔尼科娃的裸照? 她连一次巡回赛的冠军都没得过! 我也试过Billy Jean King （前美国网球传奇人物）, 但...你知道 你和莫妮卡都有那付"我会杀了你"的面孔...? 我一般都通过吻她来应付... 出去! 我工作的时候电脑也经常出这种问题. 你怎么办? 我一般去别人的电脑...玩俄罗斯方块 难以置信,竟然发生这种事. 我明天必须得去做主题演讲! 我得站在所有人面前,可我说什么? 我可以教你一个演讲,是为一次试镜背的. 你那些星球大战的独白现在可帮不了我,乔! 罗斯,我来帮你,我刚刚听了你的报告. 咱们再写一遍! 还有一宿的时间! 你...真觉得咱们能搞定吗? 等等,我和乔伊本来要去吃晚餐的. 别管那些了!罗斯需要你! 瑞秋和我也会在这儿帮你的. 不... 好的,开干吧. 嗯, 从论述碳定年的缺点开始... 进而 说明了中生代的明确定义时刻 Pangea时代的结束, 嘿! 然后,是... 呃... 三叠纪的概述. 哦! 是不是发生在"遥远,遥远的星系中"? 喂? 听着麦克, 适可而止吧, 你爱菲比,菲比也爱你 所以忘了你那什么"我再不想结婚", 继续行动吧! 你是谁? 我是莫妮卡! 菲比的朋友. 听着, 菲比又和大卫在一起了, 他今晚要向她求婚 而且她会答应, 但我知道她爱的是你! 他...他要求婚? 抱歉, 你说什么? 这些头发弄得我根本听不见! 菲比若想嫁大卫,她就嫁 我不想搀和进去,你也别. 不要教我怎么做! 是我教你! 给她打电话. 她在巴巴多斯天堂饭店. 我记得你是卷发对吗？ TMD! 这回你可高兴了! 哦! 希望你也高兴,宝贝! 菲比会答应大卫. 看,这就是你管闲事的结果! 菲比会答应他? 这太棒了! 一点儿都不, 因为他还爱着麦克! 那还有机会吗? 不, 我刚给他打电话了. 没戏了 喔! 管闲事! 管闲事! 如果不是因为你先管闲事 我也就不必搅和进来了. 现在不管我们再怎么做 也不能回到你管闲事之前了! 狗屁假期!! 真无聊! 可恶的雨, 我们... 什么都做不了. 我带了几本 书 关于书的成语关于读书的排比句社区图书漂流公约怎么写关于读书的小报汉书pdf , 咱们看书吧 还不到这地步呢. 嘿! 嘿! 别在意我怎么做! 对不起, 这是为药剂师大会准备的 瑞, 想不想开个会? 不行. 我们不是药剂师! 我知道不是, 但...Frank Medeio 还有... Eva Trorro... womba... Kate Miller? 没错儿Kate Miller. 这... 可能是我这周末最棒的sex了 既然这样, 再确认一下是不是真棒? 多谢. 然后, 你说的是 把中生代带到21世纪 是吗? 是的 天, 咱们成功了! 事实上,是我成功了. 你只记得一点点你的报告 是的,可我用洗浴用品搭了个金字塔. 太棒了, 谢谢你, 真的谢谢你. 项链真漂亮 谢谢. 怎么庆祝? 香槟? 好啊! 记着留着木塞, 把水灌回去,这样他们就不会记你的帐了 天啊, 我爱你 爱玛的照片, 真可爱. 这是你儿子... 还是别的什么孩子? 那是本, 我第一次结婚时生的. 你第一次结婚? 是. 你结过不止一次? 不止一次 为什么分开了? 这... 很复杂, 明白吗? 她... 她是...呃... 同性恋. 天啊, 太酷了! 新鲜事总能让人兴奋! 不, 因为...我曾经订婚的对象后来也变成了同性恋! 嘿!来一下吧! 你是不是因为自己没有发现征兆,而觉得愚蠢? 我未婚夫经常和他的网球搭档一起过周末. 我妻子和伙伴每天都去健身 可整整一年也没见瘦. 对,而且每个人发现后都会说:"我一直都知道" 没错儿! 你会想, 既然你知道, 为什么不告诉我? 打个电话或是留个字条: "嗨, 我就是来跟你说一声,你老婆是同性恋" 没错儿! 然后, 为了挽回败局, 你曾经考虑"三人行" 那倒没有. 我也没. 谁想得到? 药剂师还真有趣. 我想得到, 那老女人想把你带回去. 地球上不能只有药丸, 瑞. 你呢, 孤单的人，碰见自己喜欢的了吗? 看看.我正和一个人聊天 他的胸部很强壮... 回去以后呢, 那边的情况? 有没有喜欢的人? 没有. 肯定有,你脸红了! 不, 我没脸红, 这是晒的! 因为...下雨 你喜欢上谁了. 告诉我是谁? 谁? 不. 告诉我. 乔伊! 到底是谁? 告诉我吧. 别想逃,你喜欢谁? 乔伊! 其实没什么, 你知道,什么都不会发生! 为什么不会? 瑞,有谁是你得不到的? 好吧, 你真想知道是谁? 当然，是谁? 真想知道? 是的. 嘿! 我刚给你留了个言! 我和罗斯正要去大吃一顿 既然你在这儿，我们可以一起吃晚餐. 当然. 演讲稿写完了吗? 完成了, 我们成功了. 太感谢你了. 我很开心. 好的, 听着，还没完呢, 我真的想知道是谁... 再说吧... 能走了吗? 当然 回见. 拜. 晚安. 晚安. 晚安! 她竟然会答应大卫. 显然她还爱着麦克. 你现在的样子很难让人相信你. 菲比, 呃, 我有...几句话要跟你说. 天啊, 他要求婚了. 拜托，我可不能看这个，咱们走吧 还有点儿时间. 听见他说什么了吗? "呃, 菲比, 呃, 我有没有这个荣幸, 呃... 说啊，大卫!" 呃, 菲比, 呃... 你是个迷人的女人 与你分开的日子，简直无法忍受. 当然明斯克的卫生大罢工也不顶用! 当然，是的. 但是, 既然我们又在一起了, 我就不想再和你分开了. 所以, 我... 天啊, 麦克! 事实上，是大卫! 不, 麦克在那儿. 麦克! 大卫. 钱德. 莫妮卡... 哦! 湿度搞得鬼! 菲比. 为什么你会在这儿? 我有个问题想要问你. 我也有个问题现在正想问她. 我知道，但你问之前，她得先听我这个 好吧, 你也想坐我的位子吧? 那就太好了. 公平竞争, 你不远万里来的. 菲比, 我爱你. 这几个月我一直想着你 我以为我们分手是正确的 但我忽然明白，没有任何理由能阻止我与你共度余生 我也正要说这些 抱歉, 但必须让她知道. 好吧，我在外面等你们. 如果雨停了的话 你是我遇见的最好的女人. 我不能没有你 可, 我并没有戒指... 我有. 我可不想为这骄傲, 伙计 菲比，愿意嫁给我吗? 不! 嗯... 哈 哈! 我爱你. 但我并不需要你的求婚. 我只是希望咱们是相关的, 我们有未来. 你想要什么样的未来都行. 我想我得走了. 大卫，真对不起 我就是想知道, 如果是我先求婚... 我会答应你的,但那会是个错误. 好了，别解释了. 如果我没去明斯克,咱们不会这样 我也不会一事无成, 更不会 冻掉一个脚趾. 旅行真愉快! 拥抱一下? 好! 拜我们管闲事所赐! 真幸福? 这么安静,我可以睡上一天 是啊 拉开窗帘! 拉开窗帘! 真高兴和你住隔壁! 天晴了! 还记得吗，我也有角膜的！ 听着, 你去游泳池占几个椅子, 我去取杂志和浴液 女士们? 罗斯的演讲45分钟后开始. 不! tmd! 墙很薄,伙计们! 所以我们要等待核磁共振, 和DNA检测结果 来解决碳定年带来的一系列问题 看那个躺在泳池边晒太阳的女人... 又老又褶, 真羡慕她! 最后, 来看看最新发现的几个物种: 巨型龙, 阿根廷龙... 他倒是没提冻伤 他们是食草动物. 我不打算讨论食肉动物 他们的头已经够大了. 这是对他们发育不完全的大脑的讽刺 真的吗? 但是严肃地说, 同样, 看来“匠人” 与“直立猿人”不是同一物种... 怎么? 他说"erectus"!（大概是把 erectus错听成erect--勃起了！） 你...在开玩笑, 对吗? 不,他真这么说了. ... 因为中生代的化石有很多明显的 不同,而且直立猿人的样本... Erectus? Homo(同性恋) ... 我们完全可以把中生代带回到21世纪. 谢谢! 谢谢! 我觉得... 太棒了! 哦! 你今天提出的观点 是从一个...这么...年轻... 谢谢...咱们还拉着手呢 好!呃...去晒太阳? 好! 真...太棒了! 谢谢! 是啊，而且很有趣! 是的! 好的!...多谢! 谢谢你们! 你们能在这儿对我来说太重要了! 开玩笑，我们怎么能错过呢! 哦... 我又回来了! 好的!...抱歉? 好! 嘿! 难以置信! 什么? 你把他们都说晕了! 能看到那些人和你真是太棒了! 我是说... 你一直跟着我在说? 我没有! 没事儿! 我觉得自己像个摇滚歌星! 老天! 我是你的歌迷! 可别让我看见你裸体在我房间! 哦,扯得有点远了! 竟然又下雨了! 真不公平!!! 乐观一点 你不用看那些没穿上衣的古生物学家了 不是说你们. 你们可以继续快活! 那, 咱们今天干什么? 楼下有个游戏室!乒乓球什么的. 乒乓球? 亲爱的, 咱们去打乒乓球! 我可不想! 为什么不? 因为你太好斗了 我觉得很可爱,别人可不这么想, 而且我撒了谎! 我可不总那样! 是吗? 上次咱们一起玩时怎么来着? 我给了你一拳...? 然后...? ..菲比...? ...然后...? 我把你们俩人的脑袋撞在了一起! 嗨! 你在呢! 嗨! 雨一停咱们就去海边! 有个小孩儿告诉我,如果对着 海龟的脸吹泡泡,它就会追你 抱歉, 不行!一下午我都得参加讨论团. 哦... 没事儿, 我找别人陪我... 我一个人去, 可...如果被海龟追上怎么办... 嗯... 真对不起! 整个旅行 我都没陪你, 尤其是昨晚... 嘿! 别担心! 我很好! 我和瑞秋一起很快乐! 我只是担心你, 困在屋中, 帮罗斯弄报告... 事实上,那很有趣! 哦! 太好了! 至少咱们都很快乐! 是啊... ...可并不是咱们在一起, 很奇怪是不是? 没错儿! 有一些... 我想咱们得谈谈... 是啊... 我也觉得应该...谈什么? 来吧, 很有趣的! 好吧... 不计分我就玩! 那怎么知道谁赢了? 没有输赢! 那, 四个失败者... 牛! 我不玩. 我也不玩. 我来玩! 好! 麦克, 你...你不知道自己在做什么! 她是个疯子! 这个疤...比画画时弄的! 没事儿的! 你发球? 好的! 来吧! 哦! 顺便说一句... 我可不是盖的!! 天啊, 这两个人! 还玩吗? 当然! 你了解他这一点吗? 不! 我以为他跟你一样温顺! 想不想更有趣些? 玩儿多少钱的? 一局十块? 加到五十! 加到一百! 一千... 好了! 看看谁先发球.有钢崩吗? 没有...你们有吗? 亲爱的，转移对方注意力! 莫妮卡,要哪面? 头! 不, 背! 头...! 背! 哦，运气真差! 哈，我得分! 不! 你错了! 乒乓球的规则是，如果球员不握 球拍的手接触了球台，对方得分 他是个律师! ... 海滨的天气都不错. 纽约, 72度，晴天! 哦! 气象婊子! 门开着呢! 嗨,乔! 嗨... 怎么了,你还好吗? 呃...查丽和我分手了. 不, 为什么? 嗯, 她觉得我们没有共同语言 哦,真可笑! 不,我们确实没有共同点! ...是啊, 没错儿. 我觉得,她的男朋友应该像... 罗斯! 你明白吗, 他也常说些 难懂的话! 聪明人还真无趣! 什么! 瑞! 我觉得自己特傻, 你说呢? 为...为什么我总是追错女孩? 你在...你在说什么? 我是说, 先是你, 然后是查丽, 就像... 我到底怎么了? 唉! 听着...呃...也许你并不总是追错女孩... 告诉你吧,查丽一点儿都不适合我! 唔,我不是说她... 那还有谁? 上个月和我约会的女招待? 算了,算了! 不...不!你在说谁? 没,没...我都不知道自己在说什么! 好吧,咳... 我去看看还有没有房间可以住...等会儿见! 是啊,没错儿! 你喜欢我? 是啊,这没什么大不了的! 这太大了! 别太在意，乔! 是这样的: 最近我确实 有些想法...冥想, 如果你愿意的话! 有...多久了? 也就一个月! 一个月?? 小点儿声! 听着, 也许这很疯狂, 但有时,我会 我会想...咱俩... 能不能站起来? 就问一个问题! 说! 你到底在干什么??? 不知道,我也不想做, 只是 咱们在一起过得多快活... 你有没有... 一些好奇... 这像什么?... 好奇? 我很好奇,就像... 就像... George!! 谁...? CURIOUS GEORGE! 记得吗, 那只猴子, 还有那个带着黄帽子的人! 是的, 当然,我记得他! 他有张paper route. 没错儿,他有! 哦, 看,这就是我说的! 不,我知道咱们很快乐,但是瑞...不...不行! 就不能...只... 有一点点? 不,不! 一点都不行! 为什么不行? 因为... 没有人比我更希望能和你在一起了 我已经幻想这个时刻上百次了, 没有一次是拒绝你的! 但我不能这么对罗斯! 但这以前也没能阻止你啊! 我知道! 但后来我想了很多, 这么做很不好... 很遗憾...! 我也很遗憾! 天! 我真不该说那些话! 不!不! 嘿! 没事的! 就像你说的: 没什么大不了! 没什么大不了的! 没什么大不了! 确实没什么大不了的! 好! 等会儿见! 好! 好... 啊... 噢! 不好意思! 我觉得，球没碰到球台! 是吗? 是的! 是吗? 是...的! 真的? 没...错! 你以前就知道他这么有魅力吗? 当然! 你是说... 你一直都不... 对莫妮卡有了些新认识吧? 从结婚以来，我还是头一次觉得她这么有魅力 加油麦克, 打败她! 弄走她头上的那只狗! 真TMD! 我和他睡! 好球! 别太骄傲了! 上一局可是我赢的! 败在女士拍下感觉怎么样? 称自己女士之前, 你最好照照镜子先. 不,不! 搞定! 好了好了, 一人赢了一局, 我好像过了一年那么长 每个人都是冠军 第三盘决胜? 我也这么想. 我该不该用我的隐身术来 打击犯罪和邪恶力量呢? 你先发球, 小子! 你先发球, 小子. 注意麦克,扛住麦克 我是说, 我在Adirondacks有间小屋. 要是你想远离城市,那儿...非常棒! 噢. 看，我的盘子已经满了 否则我会很想和一位陌生男士在乡下共度周末的 Jarvis? 哦，你回来了... 这是我妻子, Nancy. 走开! 罗斯， 能跟你说句话吗? 当然! 怎么了? 唔... 我和乔伊分手了. 天,为什么? 乔伊真不错, 可我们... 完全不同! 知道, 你演讲时, 他一直嘲笑直立猿人! 我就知道那是他! 总之, 我觉得这么做再好不过了. 你还好吗? 我觉得，和乔伊分手，还有... 另外的原因. 我觉得自己对其他人产生了感情. 盖勒. 昨天的会议, 你明白主题演讲者干了什么. Clerk教授, 我们还在会议中, 这里. 你们等会儿能不能把他扔进游泳池? 或者现在就把你们俩都扔进去! 先生们! 拜托! 我们已经不年轻了? 我是说,咱们是科学家,对吧? 我们是学者. 更重要的是... 你们得先抓住我们. 走, 快跑! 好吧,又打平了, 41比41 听着! 见好就收吧! 不, 我还得再得两分打败他! 莫妮卡, 一小时前你也是这么说的! 拜托, 看看你自己! 你的手都起泡了,站都站不住, 你个头发更是无法形容! 你已经证明自己和他一样强了, 咱们预约的晚餐快赶不及了 赶紧跟我上楼, 叫个客房服务, 你好好洗个澡, 再刮刮你的头! 我不能走! 我已经玩了4个小时了! 但... 听着, 你娶我的时候就 已经知道我是这样的了! 你答应我患难与共.现在我正患难呢! 你打扫卫生的强迫症怎么算? 那感觉很不错! 嗷! 没事吧? 没事,没事. 亲爱的,我没事. 滚开! 不! 别晃! 哦! 天啊! 我打不了了! 你退出了? 麦克赢了? 难以置信! 我输了! 不,你没输 什么? 因为我要代你打 不行! 没事儿. 不管是谁我都能赢 咱们得把拍子带回家留念，先生. 亲爱的, 不用这么做. 我愿意. 虽然我不明白你为什么这么想赢 但如果这对你很重要的话, 那对我也很重要, 因为我爱你 但... 你打得很烂! 不客气, 甜心 来吧麦克, 决一死战. 突然死亡. 赢了这个球就算赢. 好! 天! 你真棒! 就像看黄片! 结束了! 天啊. 太棒了! 你什么时候... 等等! 差点忘了...失败者! 你什么时候开始不烂的? 我一直都不烂,我就是不想让你知道我打的有多好! 为什么? 不知道. 太棒了! 咱们可以配对儿打混双了! 这就是原因! 谢! 嘿 他们还在找咱们吗? 招待说,他们已经兵分两路 草食动物队和肉食动物队. 看来咱俩不是最酷组合 没发现咱们吧 应该没发现. 那,继续刚才的话题, 嗯... 还有另外的原因让我和乔伊分手. 我发现自己... 喜欢上了... 其他人 哦. 是谁啊? 我想你应该知道 我也觉得自己知道, 但我过去经常会错意, 所以... 对不起... 不...不行. 好吧...好吧. 我是说, 你和我的好朋友约会 而且我觉得这么做真不合适. 不...算了吧! 怎么了?