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首页 2011最新笑话(2011 latest jokes)

2011最新笑话(2011 latest jokes).doc

2011最新笑话(2011 latest jokes)

诚实的日光倾城也未必温暖
2018-12-16 0人阅读 举报 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《2011最新笑话(2011 latest jokes)doc》,可适用于社会民生领域

最新笑话(latestjokes)最新笑话(latestjokes)recentexamweekYesterday,gotostudyhall,sittingbehindthetwobigboy,thedialogueasfollows:A:infact,everyexamteacherswillgiveussaythewords,youknowB:A:doyouknowiftheteachersays,don'tlookaround!ItmeansyoucanturnbackB:OhA:iftheteachersays,don'tlookatotherpeople's!ItmeansyoucanlookathisnotesB:A:iftheteachersays,don'tlethimseetheanswers!ItmeansyoucantakenotesonyoursleeveB:A:iftheteachersays,thistourisverystrict!ItmeanstopayattentiontotheexaminationwhilecopyingB:Me:I'vebeeninCollegeforthreeyears,someonetotheNortheastbusinesstrip,intherestauranttobeer,thewaiterasked,doyouwantatroomtemperatureorcoldSomeoneangry,thiscolddayyoualsoletmedrinkcold!Waitersaidcalmly,thenormaltemperatureofminusdegrees,refrigerateddegreesbelowzero,listentothestudentssay,theydidnotlettheformerheadteachercellphone,tubeisstillverystrictOnoneoccasion,theygototheeveningstudy,theteacherdidnotcome,sowesacrificeavarietyofartifactentertainment,enjoyableQuickerthanwordscantell,onlytohear"bangbang,thefootpedaltothedoor,asecondspeedtoturnoffthelights,theactionatonego,theshockSoallthestudentswhosefaceswerereflectedweretakenawayAstrongoldclass,sometimeagowithunclemadesomecontradictions,andthenreallyrepentant,boughtsomethingtocompensate,nottotheuncle'shouse,uncleopenedthedoor,I:uncle,IwaswrongUncle:uncle,whatuncle,IdonothaveyouruncleMe:highschoolgirlsnightaccommodation,fourtalktothesizeoftheMM'snocturneABHfemale,relativelyflat,suddenlysaidexcitedly:"Itakethesubwaywhenmorethanmostshysomeoneaccidentallyhitmychest!Becausethebraisrecessed,itdoesn'tplay!!"GoinCan'tplayitalongtimeago,whenthethird,oldwork,feelthemostNBOncehadalittleconflictwithhimaboutapersonand,inasmallalley,said"talk"SoIcalledthetwobrotherstogetherwithme,afraidofbeingnegative,youfindafewbottlesofbeerinthealley,therunningtimecanusethisdelaytimewhenuseaweaponThen,wegotoschool,threeappointmentsOppositecalledfive,notwithaguythatcanbeat,said:talkaboutyourmotherBTheleadtoapunch,andstartedtorun,wenttothealleyForalongtimewedidnotseethewinebottle,afar,ragmanpushinghislittleround,beerbottlecarsparklingshineinthesunForamoment,GrandpaandthreeroundsdisappearedintheglowofthesunsetseeQBwithBuddyforthefinalexam"buythepot",Ialsofollow=======Iaskmygirlfriendtobuysomepearstosendmetothepoint,hisgirlfriendgavemeabigpearafterlisteningtomygirlfriendtocomplainwithoutdemurtiedtothedoorandaskedwhypearAnswer:YaPear~#wordsonedayIwassoboringtogoteasingmumaskedwhyIshouldcallyourmomsaidyourmothermymothergavemealookofcontemptofthecalmreplied,youcanalsocallmemotherThisisnotgItriedtoaskwhythetideisnothismotherMydadcameoutfromthetoiletalsocalmbecausehismotheransweredonlyonemotherIcanhelpyoutogetalotof,roommate,localaccent,MandarinisnotstandardOneday,hewenttothedrugstoretobuymedicineandsaid,"doyouhaveanymedicineforrhinitis"Thedrugstoreladyfrozeforafewsecondsandasked,"beforeorafter"Myroommateisstunnedwheni!To!Nose!Arthritis!Medicine!Theday,theChineseteachertaughtusintheancientChinese"I",thechildrenshouted"i",Theteachersaid:"theemperorcansay,tooatypical"!"Afterawhile,adistractedstudentsandshouted"I",theteacherangrily:"theclassdidn'tlistentoah,'I''vesaid!"Theclassroomsuddenlyquiettwoorthreeseconds,Idonotknowwhichstudentsholdavoice:"Iheard",eatKungFuatnight,therearesweepstakes,aprizeticket,itsayswinningactivities,atleastalsosendacupofsoybeanmilkGoodscratchlottery,isempty,itaskedthewaiter,thewaiterlookedalongtimeisratherbafflingdutymanagertakeitin,tostudyforalongtime,camebackandIsaid,thisisnotforIndialeakageestimationwinningTheprintleaksLeak,Ihaveaclassmatehasbeenseparatedfromherboyfriend,andonedayjusttosendyouboyfriendback,Iwanttosleepwithyou!Theresultisjustwhatsentamessageonthebackofthismessage,shejustwentbacktothe,minutesaftertheresultsofareplymessage,almostkilledme:"yousendyoubacksoon,Iwanttosleepwithyou,"theinvestigationsystemisnotfunctionalWithoutThisfunction,whenIwasachild,IlikedanewsandalandletmymotherbuyitformeMymothersaid,"theoldonesarenotwornoutandtheyarenotallowedtobuynewones""So,directlywithasmallscissorstobringbackafterthecut,holdingtothemotherisverysuccessful,said:"shoesbroken"!"Motherasked,"didyoucutitwithscissors""IrefusedtoadmititandinsistedthatitwaswornoutThistimemyfathercameandasked,"doyouusebigscissorsorsmallscissors""Me:"smallscissors""~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~onedayinthetalentmarketaround,Isawaguyfrommysidequicklycrossed,infrontofarecruitmentbooth,seizeonerecruitercollar,forcedtopullhimfromtheseatandagainstthewallWeareshockedtoseethisscene,beforewereturntoGod,heheardtheboygrowled:"yourfirstinterview,andafterretest,retestafterthewrittenexamination,finallysaidthataslongasawoman,Iwasnotplayingyourtm!"Aslongasthewoman"backtoGuizhoulastnight,ontheplane,wantedtoteasetheairlinestewardess,theairlinestewardesstorinse,sendmeal,Isaid,youhaveatowelMMfromhispocketandtookoutpapertoweltomeyouhavenotasked,shetookoutatoothpick,toothpickfromanotherpocketbrotherverydepressed,askyouhavenotdisposablechopsticks,chopsticksMMgaveittome,andletmesayaword:IlikepetrochemicalduoAdreamDoraemon。。。ThefootballleagueSunday'sfirstround,myteamandtheopponentsfightminutesa:draw,Iscoredgoals,firsttemporarilyscorerSingleentryFourballs,thehuntercalled"yourwifeandI",andhisbabycalled"havearelationship",PVP,thebattleshows:"yourwifeandmypethavearelationship,whichcausedafatalblowtoyou"!Fatalblowlastnight,around,hewenttotheATMtowithdrawmoneyGetoff,fullsupport,suddenlywanttolearnonelegThenjumpinwithyourrightfootandcarryyourleftfootupJumptothetellermachine,withdrawmoney,takeawadofnotes,plugthewallet,andthentakethewallet,lifttherightfoot,jumpedout(tooSpeechless)butthedoorthereisasmallman,calluphishandgrabbedthewalletandranaway!"Myfriend,"Irubbed!"Oneup,thenchaseHepracticedsports,theexplosiveforcereallycattle,notafewstepsonthecatch,pressahitThenhetwistedintothecommunityguard,andthelittlemancriedHesaidhewasreadytorobagirl,toseemyfriendlamelegs,andwenttorob,andfinallymetafullsupportlameFriendscoldedhim:"youah***,youdidnotseemyrightfootjumpedin,leftfootjumpedoutof"Idon'tthinkhereallynoticedthatmuchtodaytoplayhomemyfriend,shehasalovelybrother,wantedtoteasehim,heasked,Sisterdriftisnotbeautiful,buthewassensible,andorderedahead,Iaskhimagain,thatlittlebrotherbeautifulorsisterbeautifulHesuddenlyshook,pulledoutjjlooked,andlookatme,averydifficultchoiceoftheway,IwasweatheringthespotBrother,youmisunderstoodmeThebrothersandtakeabus,thecarburstcrowdedSuddenlyIsawamanbesidesisterflushedandbeckonedBuddybuddylookalookandsaid:"itisathief!"Iasked:"howdoyouknow"answer:"becauseIdidn'tpassthepocketbottom!"haveafemale,ahalfyearsold,intheprocessofmilkpinchinthemorningtodrinkmilkoverthedaughter,LPstronglydisagreed,thedaughtercriedAlittlecrytothebedroom,andcomebackinminutes,withdollarsinhand,poorbar,lookedatLP,said:"Mom,I'lldrinkadollar",mycousin'shighschoolclassmateisabeautifulwoman,oneday,thebeautyofanotherlearningbeauty:"Whyareyousobeautiful"thebeautycalmlysaid:"Momanddadposewell""someonesignedonemonthago:"fat,Ifightyou"!"Onemonthlater,thesignature:"fat,youwin"anhonestmandatedagirluntilo'clocklateatnightThehonestmansaid,"girl,I'lltakeyouhome""Thegirlsaid,"don'tsenditI'mverysafe""Thehonestmansaid,"it'snotdarkatnight""Thegirlroared:"canItakemycellphoneandwalkonmyface"!"receivedatextmessage:"at:thismorning,mywifewillbegintosleepwithotherpeople'shusband,Ihavetohappilywaitforwashing,changingclothes,bathing,nowayhebroughtagun""Ican'tthinkofitWhydoIhavesuchameanpersonThenhavealookatthesender,Irelyon,childrencouldhavesuchagoodnews!vendors:"eldestsister,cucumber"Justpinchtheseedlings,tender,youseethisparticle,thisburr,thisfeel,thisweight"Thatisthegirlpickingdishes:"roll!Ihaveaboyfriend!",sometimeago,brotherinatreasurenetboughtboxesofTT,andspecificallywiththestoreMMsaidgoodbuyanonymousdeliveryAtthetime,MMwassurethattheshipmentwouldnotbeassociatedwithTTBalabalabalaTwodayslater,brotherbecauseofsomethingtogoout,isafemalecolleaguecollectionWhenbrothercamebackaroundtheoddlookingbrother,andbrothertohelpmeetthesignonbehalfoffemalecolleagues,herbrotherTTgavetheface,saidshyly:"X,Ijustwanttoseehowyoubuyanumbrella,didnotexpect"Whenhetooktheparcel,hesaid,"umbrella"MybrotherismessyThatstoreMMtootalented,describedisquiteappropriateahSunshade。。。。。。SunshadingUmbrellathefinalexam,oneofthestudentscheatingintheexamsuccesswasarrestedThereasonwasthatIwascheatingonmycellphone,andbasedonhisBHcheatinglevel,IaskedwhyIwasarrestedHesaid,"NND,angernotyetappeasedaftertoomanypapers,itiseasytocollectfood"rememberbefore,changedthecompany,liveindormitory,abrothercametoseeme,Isaidyougodownstairs,callmetopickupAfterawhileheactuallyfounditandaskedhimhowtofinditHesaid,"you'rewearingunderwearontheterrace"Iammorepuzzled,Ididnotsweepaperson,andotherpeoplealsolootedah!Hecalmlysaid:"Iknowthatonlyyourunderwearwillnotchange"andGFeatbeefjerky,shegavemeaparticularlydifficulttochewme:"chewing,spit,"GF:"well,thatpiece,Ijustchewedforalongtime,didnotchew"",afewdaysagowantedtoaskafemalefriendtopickstrawberriestogether,butsherefusedmeIaskedherpuzzled"Why""Shelookedatmeandsaidfirmly,"Ican'tclimbtrees"!",gotothebath,thepeoplearoundmeaskedme:howoldareyouDozenMymentaldelighted,said:IhaveShewasshocked:"unlikeah!"!Ilookedupanddownafewlaps,"Youhaven'tdevelopedyourchestyet,"hesaid"Howcanitbe"!,whenIwasachild,IatealargeamountofsnacksandfewerkindsofsnacksOntheprimaryschool,therearetimestoseesomeoneeatingseaweed,curiousSothehomecutpieceofwhitepaper,blackateThelittlegirlnexttomyfamily,yearsoldthisyear,isatreasurehereOneday,shesawthatIamintheinstantnoodles,andstaringatmyside,Iknowsheisafraidofspicy,butmynoodlesisveryspicy,didnotgivehertoeatLater,shedoesnotgiveup,Iwanttoamuseher,forshetastedthesouponthespot,sheishotstraighttongue,alittleboybesideyoungerthanshesaw,isnottoface(laughathereverydaythelittlegirlwasbullied)Atthistime,thelittlegirlsuddenlypulledthelittleboy,mouthtomouthtokissup,andasaresult,thelittleboycriedhot,thelittlegirlwashappytogohomeThislittlegirl,tootough,huhweekend,donotwanttoeatthecafeteria,thebedroomdecidedtoeatoutofschoolOldfourhitsdemonanimalnottogo,letushelphimbringamealtocomebackWepeoplesittingaroundatable,eatingaferocious,dishup,aloot,emptydishesTheyoungersisterbringsthenewdish,andthenremovestheemptydishAsthereweresomanypeopleintherestaurantandservingthedishesslowly,wegobbledthemdownagain,andtherewasonlyonedishonthetableWefinallyfinished,dazhebaoge,carryingtofourthorder,justwantedtogoNexttoanewarrivalofthestudentssawusaglance,said:"NiuGang,agroupofpeopletoeatadish,butalsopackagedaway""years,anAmericantraveltoChina,withthousandUSdollarstothousandyuanInChina,eatinganddrinkingayear,spentthousandyuanIn,hereturnedandwenttothebank,becausetherenminbiappreciatedagainstthedollarto:,andtheAmericanchangedfromtheremainingthousandyuanto$thousandBaiplayedwiththeChineseonceandwenthomehappilyonedaymyclassmateaskedme,"doyouknowwhatanimalsliketoask""Iknew,butIstillwithmesaid:"IdonotknowWhatisit"Classmate:"pig!""Me:Oh"SilentforawhileClassmate:don'tyouwanttoknowwhy"Me:No,Idon'twantto"Classmate:why"Sincethe=============================================shallnotliveAgreatwaytocasedough:areservoirwithagroupoffriendsgossip,donotknowhowtosaycasedough,peoplearefeelingwhateverwillbefound,anunclesaidquietly:IhavekeptthebankPeopleask:"thatpassbookorcard""Unclehonestsmile:burn,whentousetheidentitycardtotakeupmomsaid,theyaskthecustomertoeat(unittotheislandduringtheevening,mother'sboss),drinkhappy,thendancingabouthistory:IsawthebosshandsintheairasaswordbladeshapedmouthAlsoflyingspittlesaid:"wehadtokillasmallJapanese,aknifeOneknifeforone"Whentheislandguestlookedsoexcitedandinfected,heaskedthetranslatorwhathesaidwassohappyIsawthetranslationundaunted,holdforalongtime,said:"heturnedouttobethebutcherThebutcher"Theislandcustomersroaredwithlaughter,andthetablewasinaveryharmoniousatmospherewhenIwasachildinkindergarten,thefemaleteachertaughtthechildrentolearnEnglish"Class,comeandreadwithme:A~B~C~~!""Atthispoint,alittleboystoodupandsaid"TheteachersaidthatBwasabusiveandcouldnotbesaid"Teacher:"mychild,yourmother'sBandteacher'sBarenotaB,yourmother'sBisabusive,andtheteacher'sBisaforeigner'suse""couplesquarrel,Themansaid,"Ican'tquarrelwithyouYouhaveonemouthopenandonemouthopen"Thewomanreplied,"wherehaveyoueverbeenabletoquarrelwithyouYouhaveonemouthopenandamicrophoneunderneath"Twolittlestereo,whatacow!backseat,aboyontheInternetonedaytoseeajoke:"theboyisapieceofcoins,thefrontis,followedbychrysanthemums""Thegirlsinfrontofuslaugh,whodonotknow,hecoldinthebackofasentence,"laughfartah,yougirlsisacoppercoin,infrontofthehole,thebackisahole"",oneofmyfriendstoldmethattheirbedroomhaddiscussedthe"light"inXXWhatshouldIsayinEnglishAgirlsaid,"besoft"Finishsaying,immediatelyrespondtocomeover,certainlycan't"soft"ofdoyouknowwhytherearesomanygoodmeninthisworld,andsomanybadmenBecausemostofthegirlsinthebreakupofthefirstsentenceis"youareagoodman,Idonotfityou""twofriendswerepaidanddecidedtodrinkAlittleworried:mywifeisverystrong,IdrankwinemaynotletmeintothehouseBsaid:"Russiadrunkhome,firstinthedoorstrippedofclothes,andthenpressthedoorbell,whenthewifeopenedthedoor,Russiahurriedlythrewclothesintothehouse,shesawRussianaked,immediatelyletmeintothehouse"Seconddays,twopeopleB:Hello,whatdidyourwifedotoyouyesterdayAsaid:"Hey,don'tmentionit,Iwenttothedoorandstrippedoff"ThedooropenedandIthrewmyclothesawayAtthismoment,Iheardanoisecomingfromthedoor"Pleasenotethatitisclosednow,andthenextstopisthenamesquare"ataxidriversawamadmandrivingApersonwhoridesamotorbikeThechildinthebackseatisabouttobethrownoutThedrivercaughtupwithsomeoneandsaid,"man,yourbabyisgoingtofall"Whenheheardthis,helookedbackandsaidinsurprise:"son,whataboutyourmother"

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2011最新笑话(2011 latest jokes)

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