908 The One With Rachel's Other Sister

908 The One With Rachel's Other Sister Monica and Chandler's apartment Monica: Hey hon, could you help me get the plates down? Chandler: Yeah. Hey, here's an idea, why don't we use our wedding china today? Monica: No, I think we should save our china for something really special. Like if the Queen of England comes over. Chandler: Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint. Monica: What if something gets broken? They're so expensive! Chandler: What is the point of having them if we never use them? Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over... Chandler: I will explain it to her. Monica:(laughing) Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the Queen. Joey: Wow, the parade is really good this year. Man those horses can crap! TV announcer: Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oaklahoma. Chandler: Muskogee! That's like four hours from Tulsa. Woo-hoo! TV announcer: And heres the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives . Joey: Oh my God! Chandler: Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days of Our Lives? Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm. (Chandler grabs Joey's arm and pushes the sleeve up) Joey: Oh! Stupid long sleeves. Chandler: What are you going to do? Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like... like I was some kind of idiot. Chandler: Well you proved them wrong. Joey nods: Yeah. Opening Credits Ross and Rachel's Apartment (Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.) Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies. Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. (knock on door) Woman at door: Hello? Rachel? Rachel: Who is it? Woman at door: It's your favorite sister. Ross and Rachel while looking at each other surprised and shocked: Jill? Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy. Rachel: Hide my rings. (Ross goes into Rachel's room) Rachel: Oh. (opens door preparing herself and then happily says) Amy! Happy Thanksgiving. Amy: Do you have a hair straightener? Rachel: Um... hi. Amy: Oh... hi... (goes to Rachel with open arms) Rachel: Aw. (Amy grabs her arms) Amy: Hair straightener? Rachel: I haven't seen you in like... a year. Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed. Rachel: Oh well yeah me too. Um... I had a baby. Amy: I decorated Dad's office. Rachel: Oh... yeah? Well unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, (shakes head no) not the same thing. Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey... I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house. (Amy bending over fiddling with her purse when Emma cries and she hears Emma) Amy: Oh my God! Rachel: mh hmm... Amy: Is this Emmett? (pointing to EMMA) Rachel: Uh..... its Emma. Amy: Its a girl? (Ross comes out of the bedrooms) Ross: Hey Amy. Rachel: Oh Amy, you remember Ross. Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date. Ross: That was me. Amy: No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her since like the ninth grade. Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face : Still me. Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. (to Rachel) It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember? Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. (spins finger around in circle) All me. Monica and Chandler's Apartment. (Joey is walking around looking worried. ) Monica: Careful. (hands Chandler a china plate) Careful. CAREFUL! (Chandler is startled and nearly drops the plates.) Sorry. Chandler: I'll tell you what, for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful until told otherwise. (looks at china) hey wait a minute this isn't the china we picked out... Monica: I know, after you left the store, I chose different ones. Chandler: Why? Monica: well no offense honey, but your taste is a little feminine for me. Chandler: Oh suddenly, flowers are feminine? (Phoebe comes in) Phoebe: Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving! Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving... Pheebs! (motions her to come over) Phoebe: Hey, what's going on Joe? Joey: I... I... I need a good lie. Phoebe: Oh okay. How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing. You know? You. you could. You could see the strings people! Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today. Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying. Joey: I do not. Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it? Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said... (pause) He said... "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do? Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it. Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you. Phoebe: Sure, what... what was the work thing? Joey: Uh... (forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks) Phoebe: "Pick up grandma at the airport"? Joey: Oh... man... Ross and Rachel's Apartment. Amy with straight hair: Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose? Rachel: Amy! (pause) Yes I do... I really do. (grabs Ross' hand for support) (Amy's cell phone rings) Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. (to Ross and Rachel) Can I take this upstairs? Ross: Sure, we don't live there but... Amy: Seriously? Its... its just these rooms? (moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms')(To Ross) I thought you were a doctor. Rachel: Yeah, no. Ross has a PhD. Amy: Ew. (walks into Rachel's room, I'm guessing) Rachel: God she is unbelievable. Ross: I know, I mean a PhD is just as good as an MD. Rachel: Oh sure Ross, yeah. If I have a heart attack in a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush. Amy storms out: Stupid Thanksgiving. Rachel: What? What happened? Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean... I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys. Ross: Don't say that. Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi. Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um... Ross, could I talk to you in private? Ross: Sure, you want to go upstairs? (Ross and Rachel go in the kitchen) Rachel: Um look I was thinking... If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving. Ross: You know, I think thats a great idea. It'll be like the pilgrims bringing the Indians syphilis. Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond. Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job. Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one...We're just going to have to make our peace with that! (Rachel grabs Ross' hand for support and starts to cry a little) Monica and Chandler's apartment Rachel opens their door: Hi. Everyone there says: Hi, hey. Rachel: Hey you guys, this is my sister Amy. This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and you know Mon. Everyone: Hi. Amy: Oh my god. You're on Days of Our Lives. Joey laughs: Yeah. Amy: wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you. Joey looks rejected: Hap... Hap... Happy Thanksgiving. (Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back) Ross to Monica: Hi. Monica to Ross: Hi. (they hug and kiss on check) Monica to Emma : Hey you. Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma? Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I... I think so. (sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her) It's nice to meet you Emma. Phoebe shakes her hand and says : Phoe-Be. Amy: Oh. That's a funny noise. (Monica and Amy turn away and walk into the living room towards the secret closet) Joey: Pheebs, I still need some help here Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying. Joey: Oh... I don't know why this is so hard for me. you know... I mean lying is basically just acting and I am a terrfic actor. Phoebe looks down : You are a terrific actor. (Joey realizes what she's doing) Amy coming out of the bathroom: Hey. Hey where's the baby? Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap. Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died. Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy. Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married. Phoebe: Thats a great movie. (she claps) (Joey nods in agreement) Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here] Ross: Emma. Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you. Phoebe: PHOE-BE. Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise? Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself (Ross and Rachel knock on wood) um you wouldn't get the baby. Amy: Well who would? Ross: Well we haven't offically asked them yet, but we would want Monica and Chandler. Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma. Monica: yeah oh my god, I'm so moved. Amy: I don't believe this, hold on a second. You guys die and I don't get your baby? Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby. Amy: Connected? I mean... to what? She's... she's a lump. Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two... that you two..... (starts to cry) Amy:(points to Chandler) This guy? Seriously? Later in the day. Monica: Okay! It's time for dinner. Everyone we're using our fancy china... um and its very expensive so please be careful. Ross starts playing with a plate: Woah. Woah... (nearly really drops the plate and more seriously) Woah. Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. (pinches Ross' arm) Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt. Joey: Hey! How come my plate's less fancy then everyone else's? Do you not trust me with a fancy plate? Monica: No, honey, its. thats a special plate. See its a game, whoever gets that plate wins. Joey: I can't believe I won. Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me. Rachel: Monica is Ross' sister. Amy: No, Ross' sister was really fat. Monica: That was me. Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog. Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that. (Amy gets pissed and starts cutting food on the fancy plate very harshly, you can hear the silveware scraping the fancy plate) Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this. (Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife) Monica: Now see, this way you protect the plate... and lets face it you have fun. Amy: Okay, how about this, you guys die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get the baby? Chandler: No, if crazy plate lad... (sees Monica frustrated at this comment) If Monica dies then I would get Emma, Right? (Ross and Rachel pause and ponder this) Rachel: Well actually... Chandler: Actually what? Ross: well... its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents. Chandler: What? Amy: Hurts, doesn't it? (Chandler gives a look that says "Yeah!") Joey raises his hand: Uh... who has to die for me to get her? (Everyone is looking around and at Joey with looks of 'what?' on their faces) Commercial Break. Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma? Ross looks down: No, that that is not what we're saying. Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down. (Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement) Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I ... am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you! Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just... you're more the fun parent. Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin... someone who can be firm and strict. Monica: Thats not how you see me, is it? Phoebe while cutting a sweet potatoe in the air: No you're all about the fun. Chandler: Look, I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable? Ross: No, you both are equally capable. Its just... you're strongest when... when you're together. Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die (knocks on table) she'd have to give her up. Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up. Joey: I lie better then that, right? Chandler: So... let me get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma. Then my wife dies, then Emma the one tiny ray of hope left in my life gets taken away from me? Phoebe: There's your movie! (claps) Later on. Monica opens her front door. Chandler is sitting in the hallway. Monica: Hey. There you are. You disappeared after dinner. Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly? Monica: Ross and Rachel don't know what they're talking about. I mean its not like their so responsible. Emma is a product of a bottle of Merlot and a five year old condom. Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be. Monica: No you learn these things. You grow into it. Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it. Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts. Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"? Monica: Can you hear me say "You're grounded"? Chandler: You said that to me last week. Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture. Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Amy is sitting on a chair by the bay window looking mad. Joey groans and gets off the phone : The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me... (whiny voice) And they all got to meet Santa! Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency. Joey: Oh, I like that, yeah. Wasn't at the parade because I had a family emergency. Phoebe: Ooh, what happened? Joey all nervous and looking down and fiddling with his ear : Oh... My sister's raccoon. Phoebe: No! Nothing with a raccoon. Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. (throws hands out in the air) Monica and Chandler come through the front door. Monica: Oh wait... What are you doing? Joey: Setting the table. Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too. Monica: Oh how nice. Maybe later we can all go blow our noses on my wedding dress. Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy... yeah... thats the techinal term... He goes to Chandler. Ross: Hey dude, you okay? Sorry about before. Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey. Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok. Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. (pauses) Uchh (louder this time) In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you. Rachel: UCHH! (much louder and longer then Amy's) Amy: You know... this... this is classic Rachel. Rachel: Yeah... yeah right... Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby? Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer. Rachel: What? What carrer? Amy: Um... I'm a decorator. Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear. Amy: Why can't you ever be supportive? Rachel: Sup... You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby. Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well... You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done. Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh... (gets up and walks into the kitchen) And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you. Ross: Emma. Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? (back to Amy) I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child. Amy: How hard could it be? You do it. Joey: ooh oooh... Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby? Rachel: uh huh. Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You... you have always been jealous of me. Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsiblity? You, your immaturity? Your total disregard of other people's feelings? Amy: Uh... To name a few. You know... You know... You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me? Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him! Amy: Oh come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it. Rachel: I cannot, I cannot believe that I invited you here today. Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail. Rachel: ah ha ha. ah ha ha. (evil meancing laughter) It's forty five. Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. (directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table) Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute. (everyone sucks their breath in, in shock) Ross walks over: Too far, Amy. Too far. Rachel: You take that back. Amy: No. Rachel: Take it back! Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me? Rachel: Heey man, I work out. (Ross nods his head and points at her, in a yes manner) Amy: So do I. Rachel: I do pilates. Amy: I do yoga. Rachel: Bring it on! (Amy pushes Rachel and Monica goes berserk and runs around the table) Monica: Put the plates in the boxes!! Put the plates in the boxes! Rachel: Did you just push me? Amy: Uh, yeah I think I did. Rachel: Alright. Thats it! (Pushes Amy back) Monica screaming at Ross: Forget the bubblewrap! There isn't time! (Rachel and Amy 'fighting'... They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands) Rachel starts messing up Amy's hair: Frizzy frizzy frizzy frizzy!! (They go back to fighting and then it really gets on) Phoebe: Oh my god! Shouldn't we stop this? Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them. (Amy starts spitting on Rachel's hand and Rachel is saying ew and pushes her away) Rachel: Ew! Gross. (Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor) (Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her) Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now. Amy: I'm sorry. Rachel: Mon, I'm so sorry. Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it. Amy and Rachel at same time: Sorry. Chandler: By the way, that fight was totally arousing. Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma. Chandler: Oh yeah? Well thanks. Ross: So, so now do I get Joey? Chandler: Okay, but you should know he eats five times a day and shoves pennies up his nose. (Ross ponders that and walks away) Rachel: Are you okay Mon? Monica: uh huh... I mean these things happen. Its' just a plate. Its not like somebody died. Phoebe: It's all right. You can mourn. Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. (gets up and walks towards the front door) I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies. Joey: Actually its not pies, its just pie. Monica: I don't care. (pauses and realizes...) Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold. Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control...Um... and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh... if it really means that much to you... Amy: So you're going to give me the baby? Rachel: Uh. No... I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount. Amy: (starting to cry) You are not going to regret this. (they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying) Rachel: She needs changing. Chandler: Oh no no no... I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. (knocks over the box of china) Well... what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first. COMMERCIAL BREAK [Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.] Phoebe: Hey, does Monica know about her broken plates yet? Chandler: Nope... Phoebe: Broke them all, huh? Chandler: Yep... Phoebe: You gonna tell her? Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time. Monica: Like only if the queen comes? Chandler: Maybe not even then. (Joey walks in) Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs. Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.) Monica: Bye plates! Joey: Oh, you told her you broke all the plates, huh? (Chandler walks back, looking angrily at Joey) Monica: What? Something happened with the plates? Joey: Uhm... (looks down) Yeah... this uhm... raccoon came in... End 908 瑞秋的二妹 嗨，亲爱的，帮我拿下碟子好吗？ 行 嘿，我有个主意，咱们 用结婚时买的的瓷器吧 不，我想留到特别的时候再用吧 比如英国女王来串门 亲爱的，她老取消咱们的 邀请，你还不明白吗 要是摔坏怎么办，那么贵的 不用只存着，那有什么意义 好吧 真摔了什么，英国女王来了就... 我会向她解释 是嘛，好象我会让你去跟女王说！ 哇，今年的游行真不错 那些马还能便便！ 下一游行方阵来自Muskogee Muskogee!离图萨只有4小时路，呜哈！ 这里彩车上挥手的是当前大受 欢迎的肥皂剧‘我们的日子’里的明星 老天呀 你不算肥皂剧 我们的日子 里的明星吗？ 是呀 我忘去了 我居然忘了，我都是写在胳膊上的 哦，这破长袖子 那你怎么办 我想，我必须想个非常好的理由 解释清楚我为什么没有去那儿 制作人要恨死我了 昨天特意把我们叫去安排的呢 每个人必须在6点整达到 特别是你 崔比亚尼 好像我是个傻瓜 你得证明他们错了 是呀 艾玛 你要过第一个感恩节了 你怎么去感谢呢 妈妈的乳房 好多人都感谢它们呢 嗨 瑞秋 谁呀 你最爱的妹妹 吉尔？ 吉尔？ 艾咪 把我首饰藏好 艾咪，感恩节快乐 你有直发器吗 嗯，嗨 嗨 直发器 我没见你都有一年了 我知道，我知道，我过得太疯狂了 哦，是的，我也是呢 我有个孩子了 我装修了爸爸的办公室 哦，真的？ 除非你从产道喷出个办公桌 否则跟我没的比 亲爱的，我真的需要直发器 我要去男友家吃饭 我的天呀 嗯哼 这就是艾咪特 嗯，是艾玛 是个女孩？ 嘿，艾咪 艾咪，你记得罗斯吧 不了 你比她曾交往过的那个 书 关于书的成语关于读书的排比句社区图书漂流公约怎么写关于读书的小报汉书pdf 呆子可爱多了 那个就是我 不是你，那衰人是她一个高中的， 从9年级就开始迷恋她 还是我 不，我说的绝对不是你，瑞秋 是你那个肥同学的哥哥 留着个非洲土著头型那个 艾咪，我帮你节省点时间 你说的全是我 小心 小心 小心 我跟你说 在你没说‘否则’之前， 我一辈子都会小心的 这不是当时挑好的那套瓷器 你离开店铺，我选了另一套 为什么 别生气，亲爱的 你的审美对我来说太阴柔 噢，什么时候花变得阴柔了 嗨，感恩节快乐 感恩节快乐，菲比 嗨，乔伊，什么事儿 我，我需要个好的谎话 那行呀 “月球漫步”这个怎么样？ 你都，你都看得见那些吊线 不，我需要真正好的谎话 要解释今天忘记工作的事儿 亲爱的，你说谎太烂了 我不烂 不承认，我考考你 昨天在咖啡馆，我从洗手间 出来，我的松糕丢了 谁吃了 一直浣熊乘门开着 直接冲向你的松糕 我说了"嗨，不许吃，那是菲比的" 嗯，它说... 他说:"乔伊，你说谎太烂了" 我该怎么办？ 别着急，我们会想到好点子的 我帮你练习 太棒了那，谢谢 嗯，工作那事是具体是啥？ 嗯 到机场接奶奶 天 她真是个小心尖儿 你担心过她会继承 你的真鼻子吗？ 艾咪 我担心，真的 Hello? 稍等别挂 我可以到楼上去接吗 行啊，就是楼上不是我们家 真的，就，就只有这几间房？ 我还以为你是医生呢 不，罗斯是哲学博士 呕 她真是让人受不了 就是，哲学博士和医科博士 不是一样都挺好嘛 当然了，罗斯 我要是在饭店发了心脏病 希望你拿个化石刷子救我 蠢感恩节 出事儿了？ 我男友说取消约会了 好不容易有个认真的感情 我是说，找到能一起过感恩节的人 他老婆竟然回来了 告诉你们吧，根本不值得 跟有妇之夫交往 别这么说... 本来想的挺美的 该是多棒的感恩节呀 说定了去吃寿司呢 艾咪，别哭了 罗斯，我有话跟你说 好，咱们去楼上？ 要是莫尼卡不在意 我想请艾咪一起过节 这主意不错 印度朝圣者带来梅毒的历史要重演了 她是挺难缠的 她又没别的地方可去了 她是我妹妹呀 她是艾玛的姨妈 我希望他们多亲近 好吧。我可不希望他们太近乎 我不想她告诉艾玛 要修鼻子的事儿 罗斯，她可能真的需要 我们必须平静对待！ 嗨 嗨，嘿 大家好 这是我妹妹艾咪 这是钱德勒，乔伊，菲比 你认识莫尼卡 我的天呀 你在演 我们的日子 是的 哇 他们一定给你化浓妆了 感...感恩节快乐 欢迎欢迎，你第一次见到艾玛吧 应该是 真高兴见到你，艾玛 菲！比！ 出的这噪声真逗 菲比，来帮个忙 好的 嗯 关键不是你编的谎话 而在于你说谎的技巧 比如你边说边低头看地板 谁都知道你在说谎了 对我不该那么难呀，你看 说谎不也就是 表 关于同志近三年现实表现材料材料类招标技术评分表图表与交易pdf视力表打印pdf用图表说话 pdf 演嘛 我是一流演员呀 你是一流演员，哼 嗨 孩子呢？ 我们刚把她哄睡了 我刚才想到 一个特绝的想法 如果你们俩都死掉 多谢了艾咪 你听着啊，我就领养孩子 就象电影里演的似的 开始我不知道怎么跟她相处 慢慢的能应付自如 我会脱胎换骨，过崭新的生活 然后我就结婚了 多棒的电影呀 你们反正也不能阻止我了 因为你们已经死了 我想到，该给她换个名字 我恐怕不是很喜欢艾咪丽这名字 艾玛 艾玛，罗斯找你 菲！比！ 她干吗老发那种噪音呀 亲爱的，我不知道怎么告诉你 要是罗斯，或我出了什么事儿 你得不到孩子 那谁能得到 我们还没正式问过他们 我们倾向莫尼卡和钱德勒 真不敢相信 会让我俩收养艾玛 我的天，我太激动了 我不信，等等 你们俩死掉，我不能得到孩子？ 艾咪，我们和莫尼卡 钱德勒 更亲密，我们天天见面 确实是呀亲爱的 你跟孩子好像没默契 默契，你指什么，她... 她只是个小肉球儿 这对我意义可大了 你们如此信任我 大家都知道我和莫尼卡 也准备要生个孩子 我自己都怀疑是否能做个好爸爸 可你们俩... 你们俩... 这个人？ 开玩笑吧？ 好吧，该吃饭了 各位听好，今天我们用的是 工艺瓷器 ，非常昂贵 所以请小心使用 我澄清一下，拿盘子搞笑 不会有好果子吃 嗨 为什么我的盘子没啥工艺 你不敢让我用工艺盘子？ 不是，你那个是特别的盘子 是个游戏，拿那盘子的就算赢 我居然会赢 这简直是一计闷棍 我是你的妹妹，可你们竟舍我 把孩子托付给这些外人 莫尼卡是罗斯的妹妹呀 不能，罗斯的妹妹是胖子呀 那就是我 不，那是个蠢女孩，整天象只 哈巴狗似的在学校跟着瑞秋 艾咪，你别这么干了 我知道你们有些家庭冲突 可不用跟盘子较劲儿呀 我是想说大家都该 象这样切食物 看见了，这样不仅省盘子 仔细想想还好玩呢 那这样怎么样 要是你们死掉了 盘子迷这位也死掉了 我总能得到孩子了吧 不，就算盘子迷... 如果莫尼卡死了 我就能得到艾玛了，对吧 嗯，其实... 其实什么... 好吧，要真那样 艾玛就由我父母抚养 什么？ 伤心了吧 要轮到我需要谁死呀？ 要是莫尼卡不在了 我就不够适合抚养艾玛了？ 我们没那么说 看他在撒谎 他瞅下面呢 我有什么毛病吗？ 我没有资格吗？ 不管什么要了你们三条人命 我可都活下来了 亲爱的，你会错意了 我们都感觉你会成为 一个了不起的父辈 你就是有些太搞笑了 我们都想让艾玛有个象莫尼卡 这样严格自律的 而且坚韧 严谨 你不觉得我是这样的吧 不，你们都挺搞笑 我也许对孩子一知半解 你们真的认为我能力不足 不，你们俩能力相当 不过，你们俩在一起的时候 是最棒的 那我们抚养艾玛然后我死了 她也只能放弃 是呀，莫尼卡也只能放弃 我说谎都比这个好些吧？ 让我开门见山的说吧 我两个朋友死了 我抚养艾玛，我老婆也死了 那么艾玛 我生活的唯有的那一线阳光 也一定会被夺去了吗？ 这才是电影 嗨，你在这儿 饭后你就失踪了 有人想我了 有让被收养的惨兮兮的孩子吗？ 罗斯和瑞秋他们刚才是词不达意 别看他们好像那么有责任感 艾玛出生是因为一瓶红酒 和一个过期的避孕套 他们没错，我确实从来就 没有当爹的样儿 不，你能学会的 你会越来越象 见鬼 你了解我的 不消他们说， 那也是我怕当爹的原由 都是真实的 每个人都看出来了 我看不出 你想要孩子，那是因为 你会是个好爸爸 无论日子是苦是甜 你想，我是那种能吼出 回房间，关你禁闭的那种人？ 我象会吼"你被关禁闭"的人吗? 上礼拜你还跟我说过呢 谁能受得了 鞋子放在了家具上！ 制作人白天在我答录机留言了 问我为什么没去游行 他们说每个人都生我气 他们还要一起去见圣诞老人 不要紧，我给你想了个好谎话 又简单好记，又干净利落 你没参加游行因为家里有急事儿 嗯，我喜欢这个 没去游行因为我家有急事儿 噢，发生什么了？ 呃，我妹妹的浣熊... 不，别提浣熊了 慢着，你干吗呢 摆桌子呀 我们想，用工艺盘子装甜点 一定很好 多棒呀 一会都到我婚纱上 擤鼻涕算了 哥们儿，没事儿吧 刚才真抱歉 不，不，没关系，你们说的对 我根本不知道 怎么以纪律约束孩子 可我告诉你，真伤我心了 要是我死了 你别想得到乔伊 万一打扰你了，我可没跟你说话 哼，典型的你，瑞秋 对，就是 记得高中时我就不同意死后 把孩子交托给你 这可能是我唯一能有个孩子的机会了 我太投身于我的事业了 什么？事业？ 我是装饰师 摆设过咱爸的办公室 你就变成装饰师了 我昨天去了动物园 我还变成考拉熊了呢 你就不会支持我吗 你想谈支持 你连我在医院生孩子的时候 都没来看我一眼 我做嘴唇整形的时候 你也没去医院看我呀 第一次我去了 你真想知道 我为什么不给你艾咪丽？ 艾玛 你帮谁呀你？ 我不想给你艾玛是因为 你完全不可能担负 一个孩子这样大的责任 能有多难，你都行 我告诉你真正的原因吧 你不愿意我快乐 你从来都嫉妒我 嫉妒什么？ 你的不负责任？ 你的幼稚？ 你对周围人的感受完全麻木不仁 呃，举几个例子的话 你从来都这样 你一切都势在必得 我却只能一无所有 就象在高三时 你从我身边偷走了 提米 你想过那伤我多深吗 提米是我男朋友 你却跟他调情 得了，20年前的事儿了，别提了 我真想不通，我会请你来这里 我才真想不通呢 我叫姐姐的人，能7折买 拉夫劳伦的时装 我还得付全价 哈哈，哈哈，是55折 你个婊子 你以为你完美无缺 有你那小宝宝和小公寓 让我告诉你吧 你那宝宝根本不可爱 过分，艾玛，过分 收回你的话 不 收回去 不，你能把我怎么着？打我？ 嘿 我练过 就你练？ 我练普拉提 我练瑜伽操 出招儿吧 盘子装箱 盘子装箱 你刚才推我？ 嗯，我是推了 好，来吧 别管泡泡包儿了，没时间了 我们不该劝架吗？ 什么，你疯了，咱们 往她们身上扔果冻儿吧 呃，恶心 好了。够了 在我们家你们不能为所欲为 要是你们不能成熟点儿 那就干脆出去吧 现在那些盘子也许没有 我挑的粉色的那套好看 但对莫尼卡具有特殊意义 我 要求 对教师党员的评价套管和固井爆破片与爆破装置仓库管理基本要求三甲医院都需要复审吗 你们马上跟她道歉 对不起 莫尼卡，我非常抱歉 好多了 现在我要你们互相道歉 真心实意的 对不起 对不起 这架打的挺提神儿的 哥们，漂亮 要是我，瑞秋，莫尼卡都死了 你完全可以照顾艾玛 真的？谢谢 那，我能得到乔伊吗？ 行，可我丑话说前头 他一天吃5顿饭， 还往鼻子里塞钢崩儿 你还好吗，莫尼卡 常有的事儿 只是盘子，又不是死人了 没关系，你尽管哭吧 谢谢，她们曾多漂亮呀 我到乔伊房间去拿派们 不是派们，是派 我不管 天啊，我都懒得还嘴 艾咪 刚才有点儿 失控了 真抱歉 我是你姐姐，要是 真对你那么重要... 你会把孩子给我？ 不是，我让你用我的折扣 你不会后悔的 她要换尿布了 等等，我来 我有能力和责任感 排第4位的艾玛抚养人 我来了艾玛 我先把尿布袋拿过来 哇，世事难料呀 我要第一个死掉了 告诉莫尼卡盘子的事儿了？ 没 碎光光，呵 没错 你准备告诉她？ 没 嗨，我要把盘子收回去 你说的对 我们不会再用这些盘子了 很长很长时间 除非象女王来这类情况 也许那都不用 我做到了 我打给制作人，解释说家有急事 他完全相信了 谢谢你教我撒谎，菲比 小意思，下礼拜教偷 再见盘子 你告诉她盘子都打碎了 什么 盘子出事儿了 嗯是呀，是因为 嗯，浣熊进来了...