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首页 109 The One Where Underdog Gets Away

109 The One Where Underdog Gets Away.doc

109 The One Where Underdog Gets…

白开水
2018-09-06 0人阅读 举报 0 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《109 The One Where Underdog Gets Awaydoc》,可适用于文学艺术领域

TheOneWhereUnderdogGetsAwayScene:CentralPerk,Rachelisconfrontingherboss,TerryRachel:Terry,I,I,IknowthatIhaven'tworkedhereverylong,butIwaswondering,doyouthinkitwouldbepossibleifIgota$advanceinmysalaryTerry:AnadvanceRachel:It'ssothatIcanspendThanksgivingwithmyfamilySee,everyyearwegoskiinginVail,andnormallymyfatherpaysformyticket,butIsortofstartedthewholeindependencething,youknow,whichisactuallywhyItookthisjobTerry:Rachel,Rachel,sweetheartYou'reaterrible,terriblewaitressReally,reallyawfulRachel:Ok,I,Ihearwhatyou'resayin'I'mwithyouUm,butI,butI'mtryingreallyhardAndIthinkI'mdoingbetterIreallydoDoesanybodyneedcoffee(everyoneintheplaceraisestheirhand)Oh,lookatthatOpeningCreditsScene:CentralPerk,RachelisapproachingacustomerRachel:Excuseme,sirHi,youcomeinherealltimeIwasjustwondering,doyouthinkthere'sapossibilitythatyoucouldgivemeanadvanceonmytipsGuy:HuhRachel:Ok,ok,that'sfineFineHey,I'msorryaboutthatspillbefore(picksupthetipheleaves)Only$togo(Monicaenters)Monica:HeyRoss,didyouknowMomandDadaregoingtoPuertoRicoforThanksgivingRoss:No,they'renotMonica:Yes,theyareTheBlymensinvitedthemRoss:You'rewrongMonica:IamnotwrongRoss:You'rewrongMonica:No,IjusttalkedtothemRoss:(gettingup,upset)I'mcallingMom(JoeyentersHisfacelooksabnormallycolorful)Joey:Hey,heyChandler:HeyPhoebe:HeyChandler:AndthisfromthecryforhelpdepartmentAreyouwearingmakeupJoey:Yes,IamAsoftoday,IamofficiallyJoeyTribbiani,actorslashmodelChandler:That'ssofunny,'causeIwasthinkingyoulookmorelikeJoeyTribbiani,manslashwomanPhoebe:WhatwereyoumodelingforJoey:YouknowthosepostersforthecityfreeclinicMonica:Oh,wow,soyou'regonnabeoneofthose"healthy,healthy,healthyguys"Phoebe:Youknow,theasthmaguywasreallycuteChandler:Doyouknowwhichoneyou'regonnabeJoey:No,butIhearlymediseaseisopen,so(crossesfingers)Chandler:Goodluck,manIhopeyougetitJoey:Thanks(Rosscomesbacktothecouch)Ross:(toMonica)Well,youwererightHowcantheydothistous,huhIt'sThanksgivingMonica:Ok,I'lltellyouwhatHowaboutIcookdinneratmyplaceI'llmakeitjustlikeMom'sRoss:WillyoumakethemashedpotatoeswiththelumpsMonica:Youknow,they'renotactuallysupposedtohave(Rosslooksathersheepishly)I'llworkonthelumpsJoey,you'regoinghome,rightJoey:YeahMonica:AndIassume,Chandler,youarestillboycottingallthepilgrimholidaysChandler:Yes,everysingleoneofthemMonica:Phoebe,you'regonnabewithyourgrandmaPhoebe:Yes,andherboyfriendButwe'recelebratingThanksgivinginDecember'causeheislunarMonica:Soyou'refreeThursday,thenPhoebe:YeahOh,canIcomeMonica:YeahRach,areyouthinkingyou'regonnamakeittoVailRachel:AbsolutelyShoop,shoop,shoopOnlyahundredandtwodollarstogoChandler:Ithoughtitwas$Rachel:Yeah,wellitwasI,IbrokeacupRoss:Well,I'mofftoCarol'sPhoebe:Ooh,ooh!Whydon'tweinviteherRoss:(mimicking)Ooh,oohBecauseshe'smyexwife,andwillprobablywanttobringher,ooh,ooh,lesbianlifepartnerScene:CarolandSusan'sapartment,SusanisthereRossentersRoss:Hi,isuh,isCarolhereSusan:No,she'satafacultymeetingRoss:Oh,Iuh,justcamebytopickupmyskullWell,notmine,butSusan:ComeinRoss:ThanksYeah,Carolborroweditforaclass,andIhavetogetitbacktothemuseumSusan:What'sitlooklikeRoss:KindalikeabigfacewithoutskinSusan:Yes,I'mfamiliarwiththeconceptWecanjustlookforitRoss:Ok(browsingtheapartment)Wow,youguyssurehavealotofbooksaboutbein'alesbianSusan:Well,youknow,youhavetotakeacourseOtherwise,theydon'tletyoudoitRoss:(pickingupabook)Hey,hey,YertletheTurtleAclassicSusan:Actually,I'mreadingittothebabyRoss:Theuh,thebabythathasn'tbeenbornyetWouldn'tthatmeanyou'recrazySusan:What,youdon'tthinktheycanhearsoundsinthereRoss:You'renotserious,Imean,youreallyyoureallytalktoitSusan:Yeah,allthetimeIwantthebabytoknowmyvoiceRoss:Doyouuh,doyoutalkaboutmeSusan:Yeah,yeah,allthetimeRoss:ReallySusan:Butum,wejustrefertoyouasBobotheSpermGuyScene:MonicaandRachel's,everyoneistherebutRachelRoss:Look,ifshe'stalkingtoit,IjustthinkthatIshouldgetsomebellytimetooNotthatIbelieveanyofthisPhoebe:Oh,IbelieveitIthinkthebabycantotallyheareverythingIcanshowyouLook,thiswillseemalittleweird,butyouputyourheadinsidethisturkey,andthenwe'llalltalk,andyou'llheareverythingwesayChandler:I'djustliketosaythatI'mtotallybehindthisexperimentInfact,I'dverymuchliketobutteryourhead(Rachelenters)Monica:Hey,Rach,didyoumakeyourmoneyRachel:No,notevencloseForgetVail,forgetseeingmyfamily,forgetshoop,shoop,shoopMonica:Rach,here'syourmailRachel:Thanks,youcanjustputitonthetableMonica:(insistently)No,here'syourmailRachel:Thanks,youcanjustputitonthetableMonica:(givesheranenvelope)Wouldyoujustopenit(RachelopensitInsideisthemoneysheneeded)Rachel:Ohmygod,oh,youguysaregreatMonica:WeallchippedinJoey:(toMonica)WedidMonica:(toJoey)YouowemebucksRachel:ThankyouThankyousomuch!Monica:(handsChandlerabag)Chandler,hereyougo,gotyourtraditionalThanksgivingfeast,yougotyourtomatosoup,yourgrilledcheesefixin's,andyourfamilysizebagofFunyunsRachel:Wait,wait,Chandler,thisiswhatyou'rehavin'forThanksgivingdinnerWhat,what,whatisitwithyouandthisholidayChandler:Allright,I'mnineyearsoldRoss:Oh,IhatethisstoryChandler:WejustfinishedthismagnificentThanksgivingdinnerIhaveandIrememberthispartvividlyamouthfulofpumpkinpie,andthisisthemomentmyparentschoosetotellmethey'regettingdivorcedRachel:OhmygodChandler:YesIt'sverydifficulttoappreciateaThanksgivingdinneronceyou'veseenitinreverseScene:Thesubway,JoeyspotsagorgeouswomanwaitingHegoesuptoherJoey:Uh,hiWeuh,weusedtoworktogetherGirl:WedidJoey:Yeah,atMacy'sYouweretheObsessiongirl,rightIwastheAramisguy(pretendstospraycologne)AramisAramisGirl:Yeah,rightJoey:IgottatellyouYou'rethebestinthebusinessGirl:GetoutJoey:I'mseriousYou'reamazingYouknowwhentospritz,whentolaybackGirl:ReallyYoudon'tknowwhatthatmeanstomeJoey:Ooh,yousmellgreattonightWhat'reyouwearingGirl:(provocatively)NothingJoey:Listen,uh,youwannagogetadrinkorsomethingGirl:Yeah(shegetsup,noticessomethingbehindJoey)OhJoey:What'swrongGirl:Ijustremembered,IhavetodosomethingJoey:OhWhatGirl:Um,leaveJoey:Wait,wait,wait!(JoeyturnsaroundandseeshisfaceonaposterinthesubwayThepostersays:WhatMarioisn'ttellingyouVD,youneverknowwhomighthaveitAvarietyofscenesareshownwiththeposterdisplayedalloverNewYorkCity)Scene:CentralPerk,Joeyenters,amongstsnickersfromthegangJoey:SoIguessyouallsawitRachel:SawwhatPhoebe:No,wewerejustlaughingYouknow,howlaughtercanbeinfectiousScene:MonicaandRachel's,Joeyenters,upsetJoey:SetanotherplaceforThanksgivingMyentirefamilythinksIhaveVDChandler:Tonight,onaveryspecialBlossomCommercialBreakScene:MonicaandRachel's,MonicaiscookingThanksgivingdinnerChandlerisstandinginthedoorway,notwantingtoparticipateinthefestivitiesMonica:Mmm,lookinggoodOk,cider'smulling,turkey'sturking,yamsareyamming(noticesRossisdepressed)WhatRoss:Idon'tknowIt'sjustnotthesamewithoutMominthekitchenMonica:Allright,that'sitYouknowwhatJustgetoutofmywayandstopmopingRoss:That'scloser(Rachelenters,excited)Rachel:Igotthetickets!Igotthetickets!Fivehoursfromnow,shoop,shoop,shoopChandler:Oh,youmuststopshoopingRachel:Ok,I'mgonnagetmystuffJoey:Chandler,willyoujustcomeinalreadyChandler:No,Iprefertokeepasafedistancefromallthismerriment(PhoebetakesasliceofpumpkinpieandwavesitinfrontofChandler'sface)Phoebe:Lookout,incomingpumpkinpie!Chandler:Ok,wealllaughedwhenyoudiditwiththestuffing,butthat'snotfunnyanymore(Chandlerleaves)Joey:Hey,Monica,IgotaquestionIdon'tseeanytatertotsMonica:That'snotaquestionJoey:ButmymomalwaysmakesthemIt'slikeatraditionYougetalittlepieceofturkeyonyourfork,alittlecranberrysauce,andatot!It'sbadenoughIcan'tbewithmyfamilybecauseofmydiseaseMonica:Allright,fineTonight'spotatoeswillbebothmashedwithlumps,andintheformoftotsRoss:Ok,I'mofftotalktomyunbornchild(Rossgrabsforsomefood,Monicaslapshishandaway)Monica:Ah!Ross:Ok,Momneverhit(Rossexits)Phoebe:(stirringpot)Ok,alldoneMonica:What,Phoebe,didyouwhipthepotatoesRossneedslumps!Phoebe:Oh,I'msorry,oh,Ijust,IthoughtwecouldhavethemwhippedandthenaddsomepeasandonionsMonica:WhywouldwedothatPhoebe:Well,'causethenthey'dbelikemymomusedtomakethem,youknow,beforeshediedMonica:Ok,threekindsofpotatoescomingupRachel:Ok,goodbyeyouguysThanksforeverything(shestartstoleave,andhitseveryonewithherskis)Oh,sorry!Oh,sorry!(Chandlerenters,running)Chandler:ThemostunbelievablethinghashappenedUnderdoghasjustgottenawayJoey:TheballoonChandler:No,no,theactualcartooncharacterOfcoursetheballoonIt'salloverthenewsRightbeforehereachedMacy's,hebrokefreeandwasspottedflyingoverWashingtonSquareParkI'mgoin'totheroof,who'swithmeRachel:Ican't,IgottagoChandler:ComeonAnfootinflatabledogletlooseoverthecityHowoftendoesthathappenPhoebe:AlmostneverMonica:GotthekeysorGotthekeys!Rachel:Ok(Everyoneleavestheapartment)Scene:CarolandSusan's,RossispreparingtotalktoherbellyCarol:Anytimeyou'rereadyRoss:Ok,ok,herewego(hecrouchesdownnearherstomach)Ok,whereamItalkingto,hereImean,uh,well,thereisonewaythatseemstoofferacertainacousticaladvantage,butCarol:JustaimforthebumpRoss:Ok,ok,ok,ok,heregoesYouknow,I,youknow,can'tdothisUh,thisistooweirdIfeelstupidCarol:Sodon'tdoit,it'sfineYoudon'thavetodoitjustbecauseSusandoesitRoss:(quicklytalking)Hello,babyHello,helloScene:MonicaandRachel's,thegroupiscomingbackfromtheroofRachel:IlovedthemomentwhenyoufirstsawthegiantdogshadowallovertheparkPhoebe:Yeah,butdidtheyhavetoshoothimdownImean,thatwasjustmeanMonica:Ok,rightaboutnowtheturkeyshouldbecrispyontheoutside,juicyontheinsideWhyarewestandinghereRachel:We'rewaitingforyoutoopenthedoorYougotthekeysMonica:NoIdon'tRachel:Yes,youdoWhenweleft,yousaid,"gotthekeys"Monica:NoIdidn'tIasked,"gotthekeeys"Rachel:No,no,no,yousaid,"gotthekeys"Chandler:DoeitherofyouhavethekeysMonica:(panicked)TheovenisonRachel:Oh,Igottagetmyticket!Joey:Wait,wait,wehaveacopyofyourkeyMonica:Wellthengetit,getit!Joey:ThattonewillnotmakemegoanyfasterMonica:(angry)Joey!Joey:Thatonewill(Joeyleavestogetthecopyofthekey)Scene:CarolandSusan's,Carolisreading,RossistalkingtoherstomachRoss:Andeveryone'stellingme,yougottapickamajor,yougottapickamajorSo,onadare,IpickedpaleontologyAndyouhavenoideawhatI'msaying,because,let'sfaceit,you'reafetusYou'rejusthappyyoudon'thavegillsanymoreCarol:Look,youdon'thavetotalktoitYoucansingtoitifyouwantRoss:Oh,pleaseIamnotsingingtoyourstomach,ok(Susanenters)Susan:Hi,how'sitgoinRoss:Shh!(singing)Herewecome,walkin'downthestreet,getthefunniestlooksfrom,everyonewemeetHey,hey!(toCarol)Hey,uh,didyoujustfeelthatCarol:IdidRoss:Doesitalways,uhCarol:No,nothatwasthefirstSusan:Keepsinging!Keepsinging!Ross:(singing)Hey,hey,you'remybaby,andIcan'twaittomeetyouWhenyoucomeoutI'llbuyyouabagel,andthenwe'llgotothezooSusan:Ifeltit!Ross:(singin)Hey,hey,I'myourdaddyI'mtheonewithoutanybreastsScene:TheHallway,Joeyhasatrayfullofkeys,andistryingeachoneinthelockJoey:Nope,notthatoneMonica:CanyougoanyfasterwiththatJoey:Hey,IgotonekeyholeandaboutazillionkeysYoudothemathMonica:WhydoyouguyshavesomanykeysinthereanywayChandler:(sarcastic)ForanemergencyjustlikethisRachel:(grabsChandlerbytheshirt)Allright,listen,smirkyIfitwasn'tforyouandyourstupidballoon,Iwouldbeonaplanewatchingawomandothis(makesagesturelikeastewardesspointingoutexits)rightnowButI'mnotMonica:IswearyousaidyouhadthekeysRachel:No,Ididn'tIwouldn'tsayIhadthekeysunlessIhadthekeys,andIobviouslydidn'thavethekeysPhoebe:Ooh,ok,that'sitEnoughwiththekeysNoonesaykeys(Shortpause)Monica:WhywouldIhavethekeysRachel:AsidefromthefactthatyousaidyouhadthemMonica:ButIdidn'tRachel:Well,youshouldhaveMonica:WhyRachel:Because!Monica:WhyRachel:Because!Monica:WhyBecauseeverythingismyresponsibilityIsn'titenoughthatI'mmakingThanksgivingdinnerforeveryoneYouknow,everyonewantsadifferentkindofpotatoes,soI'mmakingdifferentkindsofpotatoesDoesanybodycarewhatkindofpotatoesIwantNooooo,no,no!(startingtocry)JustaslongasPhoebegetsherpeasandonions,andMariogetshistots,andit'smyfirstThanksgiving,andit'sallburned,and,andIIChandler:Ok,Monica,onlydogscanhearyounow,so,look,thedoor'sopenHerewego(TheywalkinSmokefillstheapartment)Monica:Well,theturkey'sburnt(checkingpots)Potatoesareruined,potatoesareruined,potatoesareruined(Rossenters,singing)Ross:Herewecome,walkin'downthethisdoesn'tsmelllikeMom'sMonica:No,itdoesn't,doesitButyouwantedlumps,Ross(picksupthepanofbadlyburntpotatoes)Well,hereyougo,buddy,yagotoneRachel:Oh,god,thisisgreat!Theplaneisgone,soitlookslikeI'mstuckherewithyouguysJoey:Hey,weallhadbetterplansThiswasnobody'sfirstchoiceMonica:Oh,reallySowhywasIbustingmyasstomakethisdeliciousThanksgivingdinnerJoey:Youcallthatdelicious(allshouting)Monica:Stopit,stopit,stopit!Chandler:NowthisfeelslikeThanksgivingTimelapseEveryoneisupsetwitheachotherPhoebeisatthewindowPhoebe:OohRachel:WhatPhoebe:UglyNakedGuy'stakinghisturkeyoutoftheovenOhmygodHe'snotaloneUglyNakedGuy'shavingThanksgivingdinnerwithUglyNakedGal(Theyallruntothewindow)Joey:I'vegottaseethisAllrightUglyNakedGuy!Monica:Ooh,UglyNakedDancing!Phoebe:It'snicethathehassomeoneTimelapseThegangisaroundthetable,eatinggrilledcheesesandwichesChandler:ShallIcarveRachel:ByallmeansChandler:Ok,whowantslightcheese,andwhowantsdarkcheeseRoss:Idon'tevenwannaknowaboutthedarkcheeseMonica:(holdingsandwich)DoesanybodywannasplitthiswithmeJoey:Oh,IwillPhoebe:Ooh,youguyshavetomakeawishMonica:MakeawishPhoebe:Comeon,youknow,ThanksgivingOoh,yougotthebiggerhalfWhat'dyouwishforJoey:ThebiggerhalfChandler:I'dliketoproposeatoastLittletoasthere,dingdingIknowthisisn'tthekindofThanksgivingthatallofyouallplanned,butforme,thishasbeenreallygreat,youknow,Ithinkbecauseitdidn'tinvolvedivorceorprojectilevomitingAnyway,Iwasjustthinking,Imean,ifyou'dgonetoVail,andifyouguys'dbeenwithyourfamily,ifyoudidn'thavesyphilisandstuff,wewouldn'tbealltogether,youknowSoIguesswhatI'mtryingtosayisthatI'mverythankfulthatallofyourThanksgivingssuckedAll:That'ssosweetRoss:Andhey,here'stoalousyChristmasRachel:AndacrappyNewYearChandler:Here,here!ClosingCreditsScene:TheSubway,Joeyseeshisposterandhepeelsoffthecaptiononhisposter,revealingmorepostersunderneathThecaptionsread,asfollows:BladderControlProblemStopWifeBeatingHemorrhoidsWinnerofTonyAwardsHe'sfinallyhappywiththatandwalksawayEnd气球飞了特里,我,我知道我在这里干时间并不长但我在想您是否能考虑预支给我块薪水预支?这样我才能和家里人共度感恩节。你看每年我们全家都去韦尔滑雪通常都是我父亲为我出票钱但是我现在已经开始学习独立恩这实际上也是我在这里干的原因。瑞秋瑞秋亲爱的。你是一位非常非常糟糕的女招待。真的真的糟糕透顶。好吧我,我明白你的意思了我同意您说的但是我我一直很努力地在做我想我会做得更好的。我会的!有人需要咖啡吗?(是的,这边有!)噢你瞧!打扰一下先生。恩您是这里的老主顾了。不知道您是否能考虑预支一点小费给我恩?好好算我没说。我为以前用咖啡泼到您表示歉意。还差块。嗨嗨罗斯,你知道老爸老妈要去波多黎各过感恩节吗?不他们不会。他们要去。布莱曼家邀请了他们。你瞎说。我没瞎说你瞎说。我刚和他们通过电话。我去打给妈妈。嘿嘿。嘿。这里是“紧急求助部”。你化了妆吗?是的。从今天起我的正式身份就是乔伊崔比安尼演员兼模特。真有趣因为我正想说:你看起来更象乔伊崔比安尼男人兼女人你给什么当模特?你知道那些城市免费门诊的招贴画吗?oh哇那你不就成了那些健康一族中的一员了吗?那个哮喘病人还真可爱。你知道你为什么代言吗?不知道但是我听说脑膜炎还少人所以祝你好运老兄。我希望你能染上谢谢好吧你是对的。他们怎能抛下我们不管?这可是感恩节。好我提议。我在我那儿做顿大餐怎么样?我会做得和妈妈的味一样的。你会弄成块的土豆泥给我吃吗?这个他们真不该把土豆我做土豆块。乔伊你要回家是吗?没错。钱德,你还在抵制所有清教徒的节日吗当然他们中的任何一个。菲比你要和你奶奶一起过?是的还有她的男朋友。但我们只在月庆祝因为他脑子有点乱。那么你星期四有空了。是的。噢我能来吗?当然瑞秋你定下来要去韦尔吗?没错。“咻咻咻!”还差元就可成行。我记得刚才不还是块。没错但我又摔了一个杯子。我到卡萝那里去。哦哦!我们干嘛不叫上她?“哦哦”因为她是我的前妻而且她可能还想带上她的“哦哦”女同志!Hi卡萝在吗?她开教工会去了。噢我过来想把我的头骨拿走。嗯不是我的是……进来!谢谢。是这样卡萝上回借走上课用的我现在得拿回去还给博物馆。它是什么样子?就象一张没有皮的大脸。我有印象。我们来找找看。哇你们有这么多讲怎样成为一名女同志的书。嗯你知道吗你必须接受一门课程。否则他们不让你当同性恋。嘿嘿《YertletheTurtle》。经典作品。没错我现在在念给宝宝听。噢那个还没出生的宝宝?你这不是疯了?什么你觉得宝宝在里面听不到声音?当然经常说。我要让宝宝认得我的声音。那你提到过我吗?有的常事。真的?但是嗯我们称你为提供精液的BoBo。不行如果她和宝宝说话那我也应该有一些“肚子谈话时间”。但这不表示我相信这个。噢我相信。我觉得宝宝什么都能听见。我可以演示给你看。可能会有点怪异你得把你的头放在这只火鸡里面然后大伙儿说话你肯定能听到我们说的。我想说我完全赞成这个实验。而且我还非常想把你的脑袋涂上黄油。嘿瑞秋钱拿到没有?没有都关门了。忘掉韦尔吧忘掉家庭团聚吧忘掉“咻咻咻。”吧瑞秋你的信。谢谢放在桌上就行了。不这是你的信!谢谢你把它放在桌子上就行了。你不想现在就打开它吗?喔天哪!你们真好!大伙凑的。大伙?你欠我块。谢谢!太感谢了!钱德这是你的感恩节大餐你的西红柿汤你的奶酪杂拌和你的特大号洋葱小吃。等等钱德这是你的感恩节晚餐吗?你和这个节到底有什么过不去的?好吧我岁那年…噢我厌恶这个故事。我们全家刚刚吃完一顿丰盛的感恩节大餐。我现在我还清楚地记得这个细节塞了满嘴的南瓜派我的父母就选择那会来告诉我:他们要离婚了。噢天!是的。一旦你有过这样的负面印象就很难对感恩节大餐有兴趣了。hi,我们一起工作过。有吗?是的,在美西百货你是那个“迷幻”女郎,对吧?我是那卖“阿拉米香水”的。阿拉米?阿拉米?哦想起来了。我得说你是那里面最棒的。少来了!我是说真的。你太让人吃惊了。你的表演是那样张弛有度。真的吗?我受宠若惊了。噢你今晚闻起来妙极了。你身上是什么?什么也没有!你想不想去喝上一杯?好的哦怎么了?我刚想起我还有要紧的事要做。噢什么事情?离开等等嘿等等!“马里奥没有告诉你的事…他有性病你永远无从知道谁会染上它”(广告词)。我想你们都看见了。看见什么?不我们只是在笑。你知道笑也是会传染的。我得另找个地方过感恩节了。我全家都认为我有花柳病。今夜此花怒放。嗯看起来不错。好苹果酒搞定火鸡搞定山芋搞定。怎么了?我不知道。妈妈不在厨房感觉就是不一样。够了!你知道个屁?靠边站还有你别擦了。有点象了。噢别“咻”了好吗?Ok我去收拾行李。钱德,你今晚会来吗?不我喜欢和欢乐保持安全距离!注意南瓜派来了!好吧你在塞填料的时候我们都有笑但是这会不好笑了。喂,莫尼卡,我有一个问题我没看见有塔特酒。这不叫问题!但是我的妈妈总是做的好象是个传统。弄点火鸡肉在叉子上配上点蓝莓酱还有塔特酒!因为我的“病”我不能与家人团聚了真糟糕透了。好吧好吧。今晚的土豆泥会有成块的和有酒味的。好了我要去和还没出生的宝宝说话了嘿!好吧妈妈从不打我。Ok搞定了。干吗菲比你在搅烂土豆吗?罗斯要吃块状的!噢,很抱歉噢我以为搅烂了以后,可以加一些豌豆和洋葱。为什么我们要那样做?嗯因为我妈都是那样做的你知道在她去世之前。好吧第种吃法出现。好了,大伙,再见感谢你们哦,抱歉!噢,抱歉!最不可思议事情发生了!“点头狗”刚刚飞了!那个气球吗?不是真的卡通人物。当然是那个气球!电视全是它的新闻。走到美西百货的时候他断线了后来在华盛顿广场公园上又被发现了。我要上屋顶去看谁要去?我不去了我得赶飞机。来吧。英尺长的充气狗在城市上空游荡。这样的机会有多少?恐怕不会再有了。拿上钥匙开始吧好的好的开始。这里吗我得对着哪里说?我的意思是:好象只有那样才能让他听见,但是对着鼓出来的地方就可以。好的开始了。你知道我你知道我做不出来。噢这太搞笑。我感到自己象个傻瓜。那你就别说了。你不必因为苏珊做了你就非得做。你好吗?宝宝!你好你好大狗在公园上的时候挺好玩的。是的但是他们必须把他射下来吗?真是作孽。现在火鸡应该是外焦里嫩了。还站在这里干嘛?等你开门。你拿的钥匙。没有我没拿。你拿了。出来的时候你说拿了钥匙。我没有。我说:“拿上钥匙”?不、不、不。你是说:"拿上钥匙"你们俩都没带?烤炉还开着。噢我得拿我的票!等等等等我们有一把你家的备用钥匙。快去拿快去!你这种语气无法加快我的速度。乔伊这还凑合。每个人都对我说:你得选个专业你得选个专业于是我鼓起勇气挑了古生物学可能你不懂我正说什么我们得面对现实,你还是一个胎儿你应该高兴因为你不会再有鳃。你不用老是说话你也可以对它唱歌噢。拜托我才不想对着你的胃唱歌!进展如何?嘘!正忙着呢“沿着那些街道走着每人人的表情都很可笑。嘿嘿!”喂噢你觉着到了吗?是的我有。他总这样吗噢不没有这是第一次接着唱!接着唱!“嘿嘿你是我的宝宝我已经等不及想见你。等你出来后我会为你买百吉饼然后带你去动物园。”“嘿嘿我是你的爸爸。没有乳房的那个……”不不是那个。你能快一点吗?锁眼只有一个,而钥匙有上千把你来试试你怎么会有那么多钥匙?以备不时之需就象现在这样。你听着假笑的家伙。要不是你和你那该死的气球现在我就在飞机上对着空中小姐指手画脚了。你说你带了钥匙我发誓不没有。我如果拿了钥匙我会说“拿了”显然我没拿那该死的钥匙哦好吧够了别再提钥匙了。为什么我应该拿钥匙?因为你说你拿了!但是我没拿。嗯你应该拿。为什么?因为!为什么?因为一切事情都该是我的责任吗?难道我给大家准备感恩节晚餐还不够吗?每个人要的土豆泥都不一样我得做各种样式的土豆泥。有谁关心过我要哪种土豆泥吗?没有没有……菲比要有洋葱和豌豆的土豆泥“马里奥”要有塔特酒口味的这是我第一次搞感恩节大餐现在全焦了……我……好了莫尼卡只有狗现在能听见你说的好了门已经开。进去吧。嗯,火鸡烧焦了土豆完了,土豆完了,土豆完了。“我们沿着……”?妈妈的厨房可不是这个味。不象是吧?你不是要土豆块吗罗斯?好,拿去,伙计。噢天哪飞机已经飞走了看来我只能留下来和你们呆在一起了我们本来都有个不错的计划的这不是大伙的最佳选择噢真的吗?那我何苦为什么做这顿丰盛的感恩节大餐?你管这叫丰盛吗?#^*^*闭嘴闭嘴闭嘴!终于有了点感恩节的气氛了。噢!什么?丑陋裸男正从烤炉中取出他的火鸡。噢我的天。丑陋裸男不是一个人。他正和一个丑陋裸女共进感恩节晚餐。我得看看。丑陋裸男真爽!裸舞开场了!有人陪真好。可以切了吗?当然可以来谁想要浅色起司谁想要深色起司?我一点也不想知道深色起司是怎么来的有人想要和我分这块吗?噢我要。你们必须先许个愿望。许愿?来吧这是感恩节!噢!你得到大半了。你许的什么愿?得到大半。我敬各位一杯。来一杯叮叮。我知道这不是你们本来计划的感恩节,但是对我来说这样也挺棒的我想这是因为它没和离婚或者呕吐沾边。不论如何我在想如果你去了韦尔如果你们和父母在一起如果你没有“梅毒”那些玩意我们就不能一起过,所以我想说的就是:谢天谢地你们的感恩节计划都砸了真是感人!来祝你们有个糟糕的圣诞节。还有一个失败的新年。干!干!小便失禁!停止家庭暴力!有痔疮吗?三次“东尼奖”获得者

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