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首页 1003 The One With Ross's Tan

1003 The One With Ross's Tan.doc

1003 The One With Ross's Tan

白开水
2018-09-06 0人阅读 举报 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《1003 The One With Ross's Tandoc》,可适用于文学艺术领域

TheOneWithRoss'sTanJoeyandRachel'sapartmentChandler:So,youandRacheltonight,huhJoey:YeahIt'sactuallyourfirstofficialdateChandler:Wow!Sotonightmaybethenight!You'renervousJoey:Naa,noThisisthepartI'mactuallygoodatChandler:WhatmustitbelikenottobecrippledbyfearandselfloathingJoey:(pause)It'sOK!Chandler:HowcanyoubesoconfidentJoey:Well,IIknowexactlywhatI'mgonnado!Chandler:ReallyLikeyouhavearoutineJoey:No,nonononoSeeEachwomanisdifferentYouhavetoappreciatetheiruniquenessChandler:ReallyJoey:No,Idosixthings!First,IlookdeepinhereyesThen,IkissherNextItakemyhandandIsoftlygrazeherthighChandler:Youmeanlikethis(hestartstouchinghisthighinafunnyandawkardway)Joey:NO!Notlikethat,nonoNo,likethis(HestartslightlygrazingChandler'sthigh)Chandler:Oh,Iseewhatyoumean,that'squitenice(Theylookateachother,bothembarassed)Joey:MorefoosballChandler:andbeer!!OPENINGCREDITSCentralPerkRossandChandlerareonthecouchMonica:(entering)Hey!RossandChandler:Hey!Monica:(toChandler)Heysweetie!(theykiss)Ross:(lookingatMonica'slegs)WOWwannaseeher!!Phoebe:Ugh,Let'sjustcutherout!Monica:WhatPhoebe:Cutheroutofourlives!Justignorehercallsanddodgeher'tillshegetsthepoint!Monica:Oh,Iguesswecouldtrythat,butitseemssoharsh!(toChandler)HaveyoueverdonethatChandler:No,haditdonetomethoughFeelsgood!AtthetanningsalonRossandamaleassistantarewalkingthroughahallAssistant:AlrightMrGeller!Rightthisway!So,howdarkdoyouwannabeWehaveone,twoorthreeRoss:WellIlikehowyoulook,whatareyouAssistant:PuertoRicanRoss:Two,IthinkatwoAssistant:You'vegottofacetheredlightWhentheredlightgoesonthesprayingisabouttostartsocloseyoureyesWhenthesprayingstops,counttofivePatyourselfdowntoavoiddripmarksthenturnaroundsowecangetyourbackGotitRoss:Spray,count,pat,thenturn,spray,countandpatAssistant:Wow,youcatchonquickRoss:Well,IhaveaPhD,so(assistantwalkout,notimpressedbythisstatement)(RosstakeshisbathrobeoffandheentersthetanningboothHestandsupinfrontoftheredlightandthesprayerstartsandsprayshisfaceandtorso)Ross:OneMississipi,twoMississipi,ThreeMis(thesprayerstartsagain,sprayinghiminthefaceandtorsoagain)WAIT!WAIT!I'mnotI'venotfinishedcounting!!(heleavesthebooth)(theassistantenterstheroom)Ross:Yousprayedmyfronttwice!Assistant:You'veneverturnedRoss:No,IbarelyevengottothreeMississippiAssistant:MississippiIsaidcounttofive'!Ross:Mississippilesly(pause)Well,howbadisitAssistant:Ain'tthatbadyet,butitkeepsgettingdarkerforthenextfourhoursRoss:So,howdarkisitgonnagetAssistant:Yougotsprayedwithtwotwo'sandRoss:I'mafourAssistant:Yeah,butyou'reback'sazeroYou'regonnawannaeventhatoutRoss:(sarcastically)Really!Assistant:YoumightwannagetbackinthereRoss:(annoyed)Ok!(TheassistantleavesandRossgoesbackinthesprayontanboothandturnshisbacktothespraynozzles,facingthebackwall)Ross:Wait,waitaminute,there'snolightonthebackwall!HowdoIknowwhenit'sgonnastartHello(heslowlyturnsandthesprayingbegins,onhisface)Ah,oh,ah!(heturns,butthenheturnsagainandissprayedinthefrontagain)Ah!(hespitsandangrilygoesoutofthesprayontanboothandtheassistantenterstheroom)Thesamethinghappenedagain!Assistant:YougottwomoretwosRoss:(hysterically)I'maneight!Joey’sapartmentJoeyandRachelentertheroomRachel:ThanksfordinnerJoey:Ithoughtyoupaid(Racheldoesnotanswerandseemspuzzled)Ha,guesswewon’tbegoingbackthere!Rachel:SoJoey:Yeah(JoeyandRachelstartkissing)Joey:Heywhatdoyousay,wemovethisontothelikesofthecouchRachel:Isay‘cheesyline’,butok(TheymoveonthecouchandstartkissingagainJoeydoeshisgrazingonRachel’sthighandsheslapshishand)Joey:What’sthematterRachel:Iamsorry,Idon’tknow,Iamsorry,Idon’tknowwhyIdidthat!JoeyandRachel:OkayRachel:Ok,sosorry(Theystartkissingagainand,whenJoeygrazesherthigh,sheslapshimonhishandagain)Rachel:Iamsorry!AgainIdon'tknow,Idon’tknowwhathappened,Imustbenervous!Joey:Idon’tgetit,Chandlerlovedit!Rachel:Ok,ok,okIpromise,Ipromise,Ipromise,Iwon’tdoitagainIreallydoIpromiseThisisgonnabegreatJoey:Ok(TheystartkissingagainandwhenJoeygrazes,sheslapshimthreetimes,onthehand,andonbothcheeks)Joey:(alittlegiddy)Uh,wasthatgoodforyouMonica’sapartmentMonicaandPhoebearereadingmagazineswhenthephoneringsandPhoebereachestopickitupMonica:(toPhoebe)No,no,don’tgetitLetthemachinepickupPhoebe:Oh,yeahCouldbeRachelaskingifsomeonecouldbabysitagainMonica:ItcouldbeAmanda!Phoebe:Oh,you’reright!IwasjustkiddingaboutRachelBabysittingisagas!(Themachinepicksupthephone)Amanda:HelloMonicaIt’sAmandacallingagainIamintheneighborhoodhopingIcanpopbyyourflat!Monica:You'refromYonkers!YourlastnameisBuffoMartisis!Amanda:Let’sseetoassureyougetthisdirectly,ringmebackonmymobilePhoebe:Ok,don’tholdthybreath!(Soundofdialingnumbersisheardfromthespeakerofthemachine)Chandler:HelloIssomeoneonthelineAmanda:Yes,IwaslookingforMonicaChandler:Hangon,she’srighthere(heentersthelivingroomandhandsthephonetoMonica)Someone'sonthephone,foryaMonica:Weweren’tpickingup,it’sAmanda!Chandler:(toAmanda)Igetpedicures!Monica:HiAmanda!Actuallynowit’sisnotagoodtimeDinnertomorrownight(Phoebemouths'no')Ok,PhoebeandIwillseeyouthen!Phoebe:Why,why,whydidn’tyoujustsayno!Monica:Well,Isaid'no'tohercomingovernow!Icouldn’tsay'no'twice!Igetthisuncontrollableneedtopleasepeople!Phoebe:(leaving)Fine,fine!Youwouldnotholdupwellundertorture!Monica:AndyouwouldPhoebe:Idid!Joey’sapartmentJoeyandRachelaresittingonthecouchJoey:Rach,yousureyouwannadothisRachel:Absolutely!AbsolutelyIdit’sjustalittleweird,it’syou,andit’sme,it'sjustgonnatakesomegettingusedtoJoey:OkWell,how,howcanwemakeiteasierRachel:Ok,let’sworkfromthetopdown!(Joeynods,butthenpuzzledbecausehedoesnotgetit)Justworkthebra,Joe!Joey:Ok,yeah,gotitRachelandJoey:Okay(TheystartkissingandJoeystartstoundoherbra,butfailscompletely)Joey:Thisthingweldedshut!Rachel:OkayJoey:Allright,turnaround,IgottogetalookatthisthingRachel:Oh!(Joeystartstryingtoundoherbra,butitwon’tgoTheelasticbandsnapsback,hurtingRachel)Rachel:Ow!Joey:Sorry!Rachel:Wellthisisromantic!Joey:I'msorry!(Hestandsup)Thisneverhappenedtomebefore!I'manexpertattakingoffbras!Icandoitwithonehand!Icandoitwithmyeyesclosed!OnetimeIjustlookedatone,anditpoppedopen!Iblameyourbra!Rachel:It’sastandardissuebraclasp!Joey:ThenIblameyou!Yeah!That'sright!Youthrewmeoffwithallyourslapping!Rachel:Okwell,wellI'mreally,I'msorryaboutthatJoey,butdoyouthinkthatmaybeonsomelevel,youdon'twanttotakeoffmybraJoey:(contemplatesforafewmomentswhatRacheljustsaid)NAH!Idon'thaveanotherlevel!!MonicaandChandler'sapartment(ChandlerisatthetablereadingMonicaputssomefoodforhimonthetableRosswalksinlookingverytannedChandlerandMonicalookupathimsmiling)Chandler:Holdon!ThereissomethingdifferentRoss:IwenttothattanningplaceyourwifesuggestedChandler:WasthatplaceTheSunRoss:Oh!Anditgetsworse!(TurnshissidetoChandlerandMonicaandpullsuphisshirtThere'sadistinctlineacrosshisbody,wherehisbellyisverytannedandhisbackisverypale)Chandler:OhMyGod!YoucandoaduetofEbonyandIvoryallbyyourself!Monica:HowcouldyoumessthisupIt'ssoeasyYougointothebooth,youcounttofiveandyouturnaround!!Ross:(looksathersuspiciously)HowdoyoucounttofiveMonica:OneTwoThreeRoss:(Yells)Damnit!(GoestothedoortoleaveRacheljustenters,seeshimandstartslaughing)Rachel:(laughing)oooh!Ohoh!Ross:(Stillyelling)IKnow!Rachel:ohoh!WhatisupwithMissHawaiianTropicChandler:HowwasyourdatewithJoeyRachel:Well,itwasgooduntilwegotbacktoourapartment,andthenwewerefoolingaroundandhestartedtoputhishandupmylegandIkeptslappingitaway!Chandler:Youdidn'tlikethatRachel:Well,itwasn'tjustme,alrightHefreakedouttoo!Hecouldn'tevenundomybra!Monica:Wow,reallyOnetimehejustlookedatmybraanditpoppedopen(Chandlerstartslookingatherbra)Rachel:Idonotknowwhat'swrongwithus,Imean,wehavekissedbeforeandthat'sbeengreat!ButthistimeitwasleadingsomewhereandIwasveryawareofthefactthatitwasJoeytouchingmeMonica:Well,youguyshavebeenfriendsforeverRememberthefirsttimethatyoukissedRossHowweirdthatwasYoucouldn'tstoplaughingYougotthroughthatRachel:(lookingthoughtful)Ok,that'strueThat'strue,wecandothisYou'reright,you'reright,wecandothisWe'rejustgonnapowerthrough!(Joeywalksin)Joey:HeyChandlercanItalktoyouforasecond(pointstothehall)Rachel:(ToJoey)Noneed!!Problemsolved,wearepoweringthrough(Atwhichpointshegrabshishandandpullshimbacktotheirapartment)(ChandlerresumesstaringatMonica'sbra)Monica:(seeswhatheisdoing)Chandler,stop!Itisnotgoingtopopopen!Chandler:(withouttakinghiseyesoffthebra)Youdon'tknow!(Monicajustsmiles)CentralPerk(PhoebeissittingonthecouchMonicawalksin)Monica:HeyPhoebe!Phoebe:Hey!Monica:IsAmandahereyetPhoebe:NoMonica:(sitsdown)OhgoodGood,lookI'msosorry,forscrewingupthatcuttingheroutplanButIhaveanewplanChandleragreedtocallhereinafewminuteswithanemergencyPhoebe:Oh!Well,whatkindofemergencythatgetsusbothoutofhereMonica:Well,whatdoyouthinkofMikeandChandlerbeinginacaraccidentPhoebe:(makesaface)Areyoukidding,Iloveit!(AblondewomanwalksinSupposedlyAmanda)Phoebe:Hi!Monica:Hi!Amanda:Hi!(PhoebeandAmandahug)Amanda:(ToMonica)Hello!(Monicaholdsherhandsoutforahug,butinsteadofhuggingher,AmandahangsherpurseononeofMonica'sextendedarms)Amanda:(InafakeBritishaccent)It'ssonicetoseeyou!Bothofyou!LookatmeLookhowyoungIlook!(giveshercoattoMonicaaswell)Ohgosh!Wehavesomuchtocatchupon!Butfirstthingsfirst:touchmyabs(atwhichpointshegrabsbothPhoebeandMonica'shandsandplacesthembothonherstomach)Idon'texerciseatall!(shepullsthemdowntosit)Ohgosh,soMonica,you'remarried!Monica:(beaming)Yeah!Yeah!HisnameisChandlerandAmanda:(ToPhoebe)Smellmyneck!(Phoebedoesso)It'snotperfume!It'sme!It'smynaturalscent!(Monicalooksshocked)Phoebe:Musty!Amanda:Oh!Gosh!ThisisbrilliantGosh,it'sjustlikeoldtimesI'msohappyyoutwoarefriendsagain!Monica:WhenwerewenotfriendsAmanda:Well,itwas,andIrememberbecausethatwastheyearIhadsexwithEvilKnievel(Shestartslaughingveryproudly)Monica:Ehm,wewerefriendsinAmanda:(toPhoebe)NoIdistinctlyrememberyouweredodgingher(pointsatMonica)callsandtryingtoavoidseeingherMonica:(ToPhoebe)YouweregoingtocutmeoutPhoebe:WellkindaMonica:OhMyGod!Amanda:Oh!BuggerShouldInothavesaidthatIfeellikeaperfectarse!Phoebe:Yeahwell,inAmericayou'rejustan"ass"(Monica'smobilestartsringingShepicksitup)Monica:(Intothephone)HelloChandler,what'swrong(Shelistens)OhmyGod,areyoualright(listenssomemore)Yeah,I'llberightthere(ShehangsupandspeakstoAmanda)I'msosorry,butChandlerwasinacaraccident(Shegetsup)Phoebe:(Alsogetsupandstartstakingherpurse)OhmyGodWasMikewithhimMonica:Nope!(Sheturnsandleaves)JoeyandRachel'sapartment(Joeycomesrunningin)Joey:(ToRachel)Hey!Rachel:Hey!GotchampagneJoey:Yesma'am,readytoPowerthrough!Rachel:Excellent!Stickitintheicebucket,thephoneisoffthehook,andintheinterestofpoweringthrough(Startstoremoveherbrafromunderherclothes)Joey:Uh!(Whenshe'sdoneshethrowsherbraathim)Rachel:Ok(startstolightsomecandles)Sexy,sexy,verysexy,sexy(ClapsherhandsandjumpsatJoey,clearlyveryexcited)Alright!Letsdoit!Joey:Ok,you'rescaringmealittlebitRachel:Oh!Getoveritsoldier,we'vegottadothis!(Shepullshimtowardsherandthrowshimontothebarcalounger)OkAha!YoulikethathuhJoey:Oh!yeah!Rachel:Youlikethat(Sheclimbsonthebarcaloungerseductively,puttingherkneesnexttoJoey'ships)Let'stakethisintohighgear(ShepullsthebarcaloungerleverandseatreclinesSheputsoneofherkneesbetweenhislegsandbeginstokisshisneck)Joey:uhuh!Rachel:Yeahbaby,I'llshowyouhowwedoit!Joey:No,no,no!Youkneedmeinmymisters!Rachel:WhatOhmyGod!I'msosorryJoeyAreyouokJoey:(Hejustsitsthere,legsveryclosetogetherwithapainfullookonhisface)Soldierdown!MonicaandChandlersapartment(ChandlerissittingonthecouchreadingMonicawalksin)Monica:WearenotfriendswithPhoebeanymoreChandler:Ifsheasks,Iprotestedalittle,butok!(PhoebeandAmandawalkin)Phoebe:OhChandler!ThankGodyou'realiveMonica,canItalktoyououtsideforaminuteMonica:IhavenothingtosaytoyouAmanda:(announcesmoretoherselfthananyoneelse)Wow,myflatistwicethissize!Phoebe:Please,MonicaInthehall(Theybothwalktothedoorandenterthehallway)Amanda:Ooh,thataccidentmusthavebeenterribleYoulookpositivelyghastlyChandler:Well,aren'tyouatreatThehallwayMonica:Ican'tbelieveyoutriedtocutmeoutWhyPhoebe,whyPhoebe:Itwasrightafterwewerelivingtogetherandyouweredrivingmecrazy,okayYouwerereallycontrollingandcompulsiveandshrillMonica:I'mstillallthosethings!Phoebe:You'realsosogenerousandkindandscrappy!Monica:(startssmiling)IamscrappyPhoebe:Exactly!Look,nomatterwhatItriedtodo,Icouldn'tkeepyououtofmylifeOfallthepeopleIhavecutout,youweretheonlyonewhoeverclawedherwaybackinMonica:It'sbecauseI'mscrappyPhoebe:Yeah,youareAndI'msogladthatyoufoughtyourwaybackin,becauseIdon'tknowwhatIwoulddowithoutyouMonica:Iwon'tknowwhatIwoulddowithoutyou(Theyhug)Monica:Well,IguessweshouldgobackinWhenyougavemeanotherchance,IguessweshoulddothesameforAmandaPhoebe:Yeah,Iguessyou'reright(Theybothentertheapartmentagain,whereAmandais"dancing"forChandler,butshe'sreallyterribleatit)Amanda:CanyoubelieveitI'veneverhadanyprofessionaldancetraining(MonicaandPhoebelookateachotherandleavetheapartmentagain)Adifferentsprayontancenter(Glenda,whoworkshere,andRossarewalkingtotheroomwiththesprayontanbooth)Glenda:Now,letmeexplainhowthisworksYougointothebooth,andRoss:I'mgonnastopyourightthere,GlendaOkayDoesitlooklikethisismyfirsttime,huhNowIwanttwo'sandIwantthemallonmybackGlenda:(quietly)Okay(Rossenterstheroom,takesoffhisrobeandenterstheboothHestandswithhisbacktothenozzlesandthenrealisesthatthisboothhasnozzlesatbothsidesofthewall)Ross:Waitaminute,there'stwosetsofnozzles,whichoneisit(Heturnsaroundfranticallyfromsidetoside)Ross:WhichwhichwhichWhichoneisit(Hethenstopsturning,facingoneofthenozzles,whichstartssprayinginthisfaceandfrontagain)Ross:OH!SONOFABITCH!(Henowturnstotheotherside,whichalsostartssprayinghisfaceandfront)JoeyandRachel's(JoeyandRachelarebothsittingonthecouchJoeykeepinghiskneespressedagainsteachother)Rachel:WhatisthematterwithusJoey:Well,Iknowwhat'sthematterwithmeRachel:No,Imeanwithus,youknowImean,isitsupposedtobethisdifficultJoey:Idon'tknow(Chandlerenterstheapartment)Chandler:ThatfakeBritishwomanisarealbitch,butshesurecandanceHey!Rachel:Hi!Hey,listen,canweaskyouaquestionWhenyouandMonicafirsthookedup,wasitweirdgoingfromfriendstomorethanthatChandler:Kindayouknow,sneakingaround,havingtohidefromyouguysRachel:No,no,noNo,ImeansexuallyJoey:Yeah,wasthereapartofyouthatfeltlikeitwasreallywrongChandler:Actually,noNo,itfeltrightYouknow,itfeltlikeuhmIcan'tbelievewehaven'tbeendoingthisthewholetime(RachelandJoeyarestilllookingatChandler,slowlylettinghiswordsgettothem)Chandler:Icantellfromyourexpressionsthatthat'sthegoodnewsyouwerehopingforWell,I'mgonnagocontinuetospreadthejoy(ChandlerleavestheapartmentJoeysighs)Rachel:Well,justbecauseithappenedthatwayforthemdoesn'tmeanithastohappenthatwayforusJoey:Yeah,yeahAbsolutelyImean,justbecausesomething'sdifficultdoesn'tmeanthatyouquitRachel:Right,totallyJoey:Yeah,sowejustkeeptryingandtryinguntilwedoitRachel:Yeah,andifdoesn'twork,thenwe'llbejustoneofthosecouplesthatneverhavesexJoey:That'saplaan(Theybothstareforawhile,andthenlookateachother)Joey:(sighs)WowIdidnotseethiscomingRachel:IknowJoey:Idon'tgetitImean,IwassosurethiswaswhatIwantedRachel:HmmmMetoo(SheputsherheadonJoey'sshoulderandJoeykissesheronherhead)Rachel:IwonderhowMonicaandChandlercoulddoitJoey:Iguesstheyweren'tasgoodfriendsasweare(LiftsherheadfromJoey'sshoulder)Rachel:AahIbetyou'reright(Theylookateachotherforawhile)Joey:SoRachel:YeahJoey:IloveyaRachel:LoveyoutooAlright,I'mgoingtobedJoey:Yeah,metoo(Rachelgetsup,andJoeytriestogetup,buthalfwayuphesitsdownagain)Joey:Ooh,yeah,I'mnotgoinganywhereforawhile(Joeytakestheicebucketwiththechampagnebottleinitandputsitonhissorespot)ENDINGCREDITSRoss'sapartment(RossisreadingaNationalGeographiconhissofawhenChandlerknocksonthedoor)Chandler:Dude,it'sChandlerLetmein(Ross'sfaceisnowaVERYdarkshadeofbrown)Ross:Goaway!Idon'twanttoseeanybodyChandler:Iknow,IwenttothetanningplaceandthesamethinghappenedtomeYouhavetoletmeinRoss:ReallyDidyoucountMississipily(Rosswalkstothedoorandopensit)Ross:Dude,you'renottannedChandler:No,Ijusthadtogetapictureofthis(ChandlerholdsupacameraandtakesRoss'spicture)Chandler:Iseeyoulater!(Rossclosesthedoor)TheEnd罗斯日光浴今晚和瑞秋有约呃?对我们第一次正式约会。哇!看样子今晚有事发生!你紧张吗?不不。这是我最擅长的。即使是恐惧和自我厌恶情绪也不能产生影响?对!你怎么能这么有信心?呃我……因为我明确地知道我要做什么!真的?就像例行公事?不不不不不。知道吗。女人个个都不同。你要欣赏到她们的特性。真的?不我会做六件事!首先我要深情地望着她的眼睛。然后我会吻她。随后我用手轻轻地擦过她的大腿。你是说这样?不!不是像那样不不。不是像这样噢我知道你的意思了真的感觉很棒。再来一局桌上足球?……还有啤酒!!更多的欢笑更多的惊喜I'llbethereforyou'Causeyou'llbethereformetoo嗨!嗨!嗨亲爱的!哇!嘿!不许看我老婆的腿!不不!不许看你妹妹的腿!对不起只是……你怎么晒得皮肤?她去了一个那种喷雾晒肤俱乐部呃你做了喷雾晒肤?Chandler去美甲了!为什么为什么你用了那种脚趾隔离器?为……为什么?我还是不能相信那是喷雾晒肤的结果……我是说这看起来不错我也想做一次!当然然后你应该穿上超短裙去街上秀给别人看。那么你是涂了趾甲油还是只留了法式的长趾甲?在这儿。我这儿有张卡。谢谢。嗨我知道这个地方!那儿曾经是个成人录影带……花店。嗨!嗨Pheebs!噢你们不会相信谁搬回来了。我知道Amanda!啊!她也给我打电话了!她是最差劲的!谁是Amanda?她是你搬进来以前住你那间房子的女人。后来她搬去英国了还学了假惺惺的英国口音。她在我留言机上的留言是这样的:“Monica亲爱的!Amanda在给你打电话!”你是要模仿英国口音?Chandler去美甲了!我只想知道我还要受多少次这种奚落?你知道Amanda跟我是在电话上是怎么说的?“哦很抱歉打你的手机!如果如果你不想跟我在手机上说那就别给我手机打电话!”我知道她还老是拿她碰到的名人来吹牛。噢我知道!“哦……我跟BillyJoel睡觉了”。好吧可那是谁?噢我们该怎么办?我不想见她!呃我们隔离了她!什么?把她从我们的生活里隔离!不理她的电话躲开她直到她明白过来!哦我觉得我们可以试试不过……有点太苛刻了吧!你这么做过吗?没不过有人对我做过。感觉不错!好的Geller先生!请走这边!那么你想要多深呢?我们有一级、二级和三级。呃……我喜欢你的颜色你是什么等级的?我是波多黎各人。二级我想要二级。你要面对着红灯。红灯亮的时候喷淋开始所以闭上眼睛喷淋停止的时候数五下。向后仰一点防止出现液体流下的痕迹然后转身我们就可以喷你背后了。明白了?喷数仰然后转喷数仰。哇你掌握得真快。那当然我有个PHD所以……一只绵羊两只绵羊三只绵……等等!等等!我还没……我还没数完呢!!你喷了我正面两次!你没转身吗?没有我甚至还没数到三只绵羊呢。绵羊?我是说数到五!不要绵羊?好吧那这有多糟糕?不会多糟糕的不过随后的四个小时颜色会变得越来越深。那么会变得多深?你喷了两遍二级而且……我是四级的了?对不过你背上是零级。你想让前后一样吧。那当然!你可能要再进去一次。好吧!等等等等后面墙上没有灯!我怎么知道它什么时候开始?有人吗?啊哦啊!啊!我重蹈了自己的覆辙!你又做了两次二级?我是八级的了!谢谢你的晚餐。我还以为是你付的钱呢。哈看来我们以后再也不会去那儿了。那么。好吧。嘿我们到沙发上去你说怎么样?我要说‘烂主意’不过行。怎么了?对不起我也不知道对不起我不知道为什么那么做!好吧。真对不起。再一次对不起!我不知道……我不知道我怎么了我一定是太紧张了!我搞不懂Chandler很喜欢的!好吧好吧好吧我保证我保证我保证我不会再这么做了。真的我保证。这次会很完美的。好吧。呃你喜欢这样不不别接。让答录机接。哦对可能又是Rachel要我们帮她看孩子。可能是Amanda!哦对了!我只是拿Rachel开玩笑的。看孩子很好玩!Monica你好。是Amanda又打来电话。我就在隔壁想到你家来坐坐。你来自扬克斯!你姓BuffoMartisis!我看……为了确保你知道了给我的手机回电话好了别憋住气说话!喂?有人在用电话吗?对我在找Monica。等等她在这儿。有人打电话找你的。我们在过滤电话呢是Amanda!我做美甲了!嗨Amanda!实际上……现在……现在不太合适。明晚一起吃晚饭?好的我和Phoebe都会到的!为什么为什么为什么你不拒绝!那么怎么……我们怎么才能让它容易点?呃我已经拒绝让她来了!我不能拒绝她两次!我有种不由自主地取悦别人的需要!好吧好吧!一拷问你就会招的!那你呢?我已经招了!Rach你确定你想吗?当然!当然!我……只是有点奇怪是你和我我们需要点时间来习惯。好吧。好吧让我们从上往下!解开我的胸罩Joe!好的呃明白了。好吧。这玩意儿焊住了吗?!好了转个身我得看看这东西。哇!对不起!这真够浪漫的!对不起!这种事从来没有发生在我身上!我是解胸罩的专家!我一只手就能解开!我闭着眼睛也行!有一次我只看了一眼它自己就开了!都怪你的胸罩!这是个标准型的胸罩搭扣!那就怪你!对!是你把我的天赋都打走了!好吧我真的真的很抱歉Joey可你想过吗?可能是你潜意识里不想脱掉我的胸罩?啊!我没有那种潜意识!!等等!有点不对劲。我去了你老婆推荐的地方。那那个地方……是太阳?哦!比那还糟!哦天呐!你一个人就能同时表现黑檀木和象牙!你怎么能搞成这样?这很容易呀?你进到小隔间里数到五转身!!你是怎么数到五的?一、二、三……可恶!哦!噢哦!我知道!噢哦!偏移的热带发生了什么?你和Joey的约会怎么样?嗯还不错……至少在我们回家之前后来我们就搞砸了他把手放在我的腿上可我却不停的打开它!你不喜欢?嗯不光是我明白吗?他也出问题了!他甚至解不开我的胸罩!哇真的?有一次他只看了我的胸罩一眼它就自己嘣开了。我不知道我们怎么了我是说我们一起前接吻过那很好!可这次我明白那是Joey在抚摸我。呃你们要永远做朋友了。记得你第一次吻Ross吗那次多奇怪?你不停的笑?可你渡过了。对是这样。是这样我们能行。对对我们能行。我们有能力渡过!嗨Chandler我能跟你谈谈吗?没必要了!!问题解决了我们要努力渡过。Chandler停下!他不会嘣开的。你怎么知道!嗨Phoebe!嗨!Amanda来了吗?还没。好吧我很抱歉搞砸了那个隔离她的计划。不过我有了个新计划。Chandler答应我几分钟以后给我打个紧急电话。哦!那什么紧急的事情能把我们两个人都叫走呢?这样你觉得Mike和Chandler出了车祸怎么样?你开玩笑我太喜欢了!嗨!你好!看到你们真好!你们两个!看看我。看我看起来多年轻!噢天呐!我们有太多的事情要分享了!不过最首要的是:摸摸我的abs我一点儿都没锻炼!噢天呐Monica你结婚了!对!对!他叫Chandler而且……闻闻我的脖子!这不是香水!这是我!这是我自然的体香!发霉了!噢!天呐!这太完美了。天呐就像以前一样真高兴看到你们俩又和好了!我们什么时候不是朋友了?呃是年我记得是因为那年我和EvilKnievel上床了。呃年我们是朋友啊。不我清楚地记得你当时在过滤她的电话还尽量不见她。你在隔离我?呃……差不多吧。噢我的天!噢!见鬼。我是不是不该说?我觉得自己就像个饭桶!对对不过在美国你只是个蠢蛋!喂?Chandler怎么了?噢天呐你没事吧?好的我马上到。对不起Chandler出车祸了。噢我的天。Mike跟他一起吗?没!嗨!买了香槟了?是女士准备好加速过渡了!太棒了!把它放到冰桶里电话线已经拔了集中精力加速过渡!呃!好了性感点儿性感点儿性感点儿性感点儿。好了!我们开始!好的你有点儿吓到我了。噢!过来大兵我们要开始了!好的啊!你喜欢是不是?你喜欢吗?我们开始换到高速档。对宝贝儿我来告诉你我们怎么做!不不不!你顶住我的小先生了!什么?噢天呐!对不起Joey?你还好吗?大兵牺牲了!我们和Phoebe不再是朋友了。要是她问起来我会表示一点抗议不过没问题!噢Chandler!感谢上帝你还活着。Monica能和你到外面谈谈吗?我跟你没什么可说的。哇我的房子有这两个大!好嘛Monica?去走廊里?噢那场车祸一定很恐怖。你看起来脸色苍白得厉害。好了你不开心吗。我简直不能相信你要隔离我。为什么Phoebe为什么?那是在我们住在一起以后你快要把我逼疯了知道吗?你什么都要控制强制还要尖叫。我现在仍然这样!你现在还很慷慨善良斗志旺盛!我斗志旺盛。当然!看无论我要做什么我都不能把你从生活中剔除。在我隔离的所有人中你是唯一一个我又把她拉回来的。因为我斗志旺盛。对是的。而且我也很高兴你通过斗争又回来了因为我不知道没有你该怎么办。我也不知道没有你该怎么办。好吧我想我们该回去了。既然你又给了我一次机会我想我们也应该给Amanda一次机会。对我想是的。你能相信吗?我从来没有受过专业舞蹈训练。现在我来给你解释她是怎么工作的。你走进隔间然后……就说到这儿吧Glenda。好吗?我看起来像是第一次吗?呃?我现在想要一个四倍的二级……而且我想都喷到背上。好吧……等等这儿有两套喷嘴儿应该用哪一个?哪个……哪个……哪个……哪个才是?哦!浑蛋!我们到底怎么了?呃我知道我到底怎么了。不我是说我们知道吗。我是说真的应该这么……难吗?我不知道。这个假惺惺英国腔的女人真是个婊子可她还真的以为自己会跳舞……嘿!嗨!嘿听着能问你个问题吗?你和Monica刚好上的时候从朋友到超越那层关系的时候有什么怪事吗?应该……你知道到处躲藏跟你们玩捉迷藏……不不不……不是我是说……性方面……呃是不是你们俩某方面……感觉……这么做不对?实际上不是。没有感觉很好。知道吗感觉就像呃……我不能相信我们居然一直没这么做。我能从你们的话里听出来好消息是你们想……好吧我想我该做的是……继续传播快乐。好吧他们的反应是那样的不见得我们也要那样。对对……完全正确。我是说事情困难并不意味着你要退却。完全正确。好吧那我们会不停地试啊试啊直到我们……成功。对如果不行的话我们就作为一一对没有性爱的夫妇吧。这也是个……计划。哇……我看这种事不会发生。我知道。那我就不明白了。我说我很确定我确实需要啊。呃……我也是……我想知道Monica和Chandler是怎么做到的?我想或许他们不像我们是一对这么好的朋友吧。啊……我想你肯定是对的。那么……好吧。我爱你。我也爱你……好了我要去睡觉了。好我也是。噢对了暂时我还不想去任何地方。哥们儿是Chandler。让我进来。走开!我谁都不想见。我知道我也去了那个地方而且同样的事也发生在我身上了。你必须让我进来。真的?你也数了小绵羊?伙计你没去晒。没我只是来拍张照我会来看你的
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