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首页 1011 The One Where The Stripper Cries

1011 The One Where The Stripper Cries.doc

1011 The One Where The Stripper…

白开水
2018-09-06 0人阅读 举报 0 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《1011 The One Where The Stripper Criesdoc》,可适用于文学艺术领域

TheOneWhereTheStripperCriesScene:CentralPerkEveryone'ssittingonthecouchMonicaandJoeyenterJoey:Heyguys!Monica:Hey,letmetellthem!Joey:SureMonica:Joeyisgonnabeacelebrityguestonagameshow!Phoebe:Great!Ross:ReallyWhichoneMonica:(stoppingJoeyfromanswering)Ohh!Fish,seaweed,asunkenshipRoss:Thingsyoufindintheocean,(toJoey)You'regonnabeon"Pyramid"!!Monica:Oh,thatwasourfavoritegameshowever!Ross:Exceptfor"Matchgame"Monica:Or"Win,LoseorDraw"Chandler:WhatdidImarryintoJoey:WouldyouguyswanttocomedowntomorrowandwatchmetapetheshowMonica:Oh,Ican'tWe'rethrowingPhoebeabachelorettepartyPhoebe:Yeah,sorryboys,thisride'sclosingRoss:Oh,andChandlerandIhavethisstupidcollegealumnithingIcan'tbelieveyougettomeetDonnyOsmondJoey:SeriouslyRoss:(veryexcited)Yeahuh!Monica:RossandIalwayswantedtobeDonnyandMarieChandler:Youguysjustkeepgettingcoolerandcooler!Monica:Yeah,weusedtoperformforourfamilyandfriendsRachel:OhGod,that'srightIblockedthatoutMonica:(singinganoldDonnyandMariesong)"I'malittlebitcountry"Ross:(continuessinginuldtherebeaghostinmyfridge(pause)Yeah!Scene:CollegereunionpartyRossistalkingtoMissyRoss:So,Saturdaynight!Missy:I'dloveto!Ross:Great!Missy:SohowcomeittookyousolongtoaskmeoutRoss:Oh,well,uh,thisisgonnasoundkindasilly,but,doyouremembermyroommateChandlerBingMissy:Sure,hewasinyour"band"(sheairquotesband)Ross:It'sbeensixteenyearsbuttheairquotesstillhurtMissy:SorryRoss:That'sokUh,anyway,wellheandIbothreallylikedyoualot,uhm,butwedidn'twantanythingtojeopardizeourfriendship,sowekindamadeapact,thatneitherofuscouldaskyouout!Missy:ReallyRoss:Yeah,whyMissy:Well,ChandlerandIusedtomakeout!Alot!Ross:YoudidMissy:YeahWe'dgotothesciencelabafterhours!Ross:(angrily)ANDONMYTURFScene:Monica'sapartmentThebachelorettepartyMonica:(toRachel)Hey,whereisthisguy,it'sbeenoveranhour!Rachel:Well,he'scomingfromJersey,hesaidhewouldgethereasfastashecould!(someoneknocksatthedoor)Monica:WhoisitMan:It'sthepolice!Rachel:(pretendstobeshocked)Uh!Thepolice!Phoebe:(Excited,runningbacktoherseat)Oh!Man:That'sright,it'sofficerGoodbodyMonica:What'sthematter,officerHassomeonebeenbad(looksovertoPhoebeandsheopensthedoor,andtotheirdismay,thestripperisanold,short,fatguywholooksexhausted)Roy,themalestripper:(coughs)Whoo,that'salotofstairs!COMMERCIALBREAKRoy:Ooh,boyYoushouldwarnpeoplethere'snoelevator!IshouldnothavehadthatMexicanfoodforlunchMonica:Areyougonnabeok,officer,uhm,Roy:Goodbody!Monica:IfyousaysoRoy:Sowhere'stheyoungladywhoI'msupposedtotake(heshakeshiships)downtown!(MonicapointsPhoebe)Phoebe:Oh,God!Roy:Allright,somebodyshowmewheretopluginmybox,andwe'llgetthispartystarted!(hethrustshispelvistowardsPhoebe)Whaaaa(walksbacktopluginhiscdplayer)HereAllrightPhoebe:RachelRachel:YeahPhoebe:AreyoukiddingRachel:Allright,look,wedidnotknowthatyouwantedastrippersowewenttothephonebookandwegotthefirstnamewecouldfind!Phoebe:HowoldisyourphonebookMonica:OhmyGod,thismanisgonnagetnakedinmyapartment!Phoebe:OhGodno,Idon'twannaseehimtakehisclothesoff!Roy:AreyoutalkingaboutmeMonica:Oh,no!Imean,obviouslywewanttoseeyoutakeyourclothesoff!Youbigpieceofeyecandy!Roy:Ok,ok,ladies!CanIhaveyourattention,please(pause)Didsomeonecallforthelongarmofthelaw(Heextendshisarmfromaroundhiscrotchandthenupwardandoutward,towardsPhoebe)Ishouldwarnyou,Ihaveaconcealedweapon!(Putshishandsoverhiscrotch)Ihopeyou'refamiliarwiththeStatespenalcode,ok,ok,enoughteasingNowforsomepleasing!(heuseshisremotetoturnonthemusic,"TaintedLove"bySoftCell,andstartsdancingforPhoebeHeshakeshisbutt,moveshisshouldersback,grabshiscrotchandhopstowardsPhoebePhoebeishalfhorrifiedandhalfscaredHetakeshishatoffandthrowsitaway,doessome"CanCan"highkicksandswingshisbuttinfrontofPhoebewholooksatitindisgustThenhetearsopenhisshirtandshowsherhischestandsheflinches)Roy:Whoa,whoa,whoa(heturnoffthemusic)Shecringed!Phoebe:ThisishowIlookwhenI'mturnedon!Roy:Youweretalkingaboutmebefore!Look,Idon'tneedthis!I'mouttahere!Where'smyhat(goestogetit)Look,I'vebeeninthisbusinessforalongtime!Phoebe:Shocking!Roy:Nowifyoujustpaymemythreehundreddollars,I'llbeonmyway!Phoebe:Threehundreddollars,areyoukiddingRachel:No,that'sok,let'smejustgetmycheckbook!Phoebe:No,you'renotgonnapayhim,hedidn'tdoanything!Roy:Didn'tdoanythingItookabusallthewayfromHobokenIclimbedIdunnolikeabillionstairsIt'snotlikeIcantakethemtwoatatime!Phoebe:Idon'tcareWe'renotpayingyoudollarsforthisRoy:Well,lookit'snotmyfaultifyou'retoouptighttoappreciatethemaleforminallit'sgloryPhoebe:Ohyeah,okayI'muptightYeah,that'swhyIdon'twanttowatchamiddleagedguydancearoundinwhatIcanonlyassumeisachildhalloweencostume!(turnstolookatMonicaandRachelwholookliketheyfeelverysorryforthestripper)Roy:Imayhaveborrowedthisfrommynephew,butletmeassureyou,what'sunderneath(pointsathisgroin)isallmanPhoebe:I'msorry,didyousayallmanoroldmanRoy:(makingacryingface)Oh,you'remean!Monica:(walkstowardsPhoebeandthestripper)Uh,look,officeruhmSirRoy:DamnitOH!(ToPhoebe)Bigsurprise!Thehunkofbeefhasfeelings!Scene:AtPyramidJoeyiswiththewomannowDonny:OkHenrietta,you'vepickedJackandJillwentupthehillJoey:(ToHenrietta)MyfriendRachelhasakidItotallyknownurseryrhymes!(makesathumbsupsign)Donny:JoeydescribethesethingsassociatedwiththeUnitedStatescongress(Joeygoesformlookingveryconfidenttolookingveryshockedtheinstantthewordcongressissaid)GivemesecondsontheclockpleaseReadyGo!(CameragoestoJoeyTheclockisatsecTheword"Legislature"appearsHelooksatitblankfacedandhiseyesshiftbetweenHenriettaandhisscreen)Joey:Oh,uhuhpass(Nextword:"Rotunda")Pass(Nextword:"Filibuster"staresatitamoment)Pass(Henriettaislookingveryconfused)(Nextword:"Addendum"secondsremaining)Okay,thelittlethingthathangsdownatthebackofyourthroatHenrietta:Uvula!Joey:Oh,thenpass(Nextword:"Jointsession",buttime'sup,Joeyactsverydisappointed)Donny:OkayHenrietta,youdidn'tgetallthepointsyouneeded,sothatmeansGene,youaregoingtothewinnerscircletotryfortenthousanddollars!(GeneisclappinghishandslookingveryhappyandsoisJoey)Andyou'regonnabegoingtherewithJoeyTribbiani(Bothoftheirsmilesfadeawayinstantly)Scene:Classof'reunionRossiswalkingangrilytowardsChandler,whoistalkingtotwootherguysRoss:(ToChandler)YoumadeoutwithMissyGoldbergHowcouldyoudothat,afteryoupromisedme(Chandlerlooksattheothertwoguys,embarrassed)Chandler:(tothetwoguys)Excuseme(ChandlerandRossmoveawayfromthem)Thatdidn'tmakeussoundgayatall!Ross:Youbrokethepact!Chandler:Ross,thatwasyearsago!Ross:Thatdoesn'tmatter!We'retalkingaboutthefoundationofourfriendshipChandler:Ibelievethefoundationofourfriendshipwasunfortunatehair(Rossjuststaresathim)Allright,look,ifwe'rereallygonnadothisit'snotlikeyouneverbrokeoneofthepactsRoss:Ididn'tChandler:OhreallyRoss:NoChandler:Ohreally!Ross:NO!Chandler:ADRIENNETURNER!!(Agirlbehindthemturnsaround)Adrienne:YesChandlerandRoss:Hey!HeyAdrienne(Theymoveawayfromher)Ross:IneverdidanythingwithAdrienneTurnerChandler:Ohplease,andyouknewhowmuchIlikedherRoss:Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingaboutChandler:ReallyFlashbackscene:'sCollegepartyPresentChandler'svoice:RememberthatbigpartyFreshmanyearAweekbeforeChristmasvacationIdoYouhadsomevisitors(An'sRachelandfatMonicawalkintothepartyroomBothwithfunnyhairdosandclothes)Monica:Ican'tbelieveweareatarealcollegeparty!(Rachellaughsexcitedly)Ihavetopeesobad!Rachel:Thisissoawesome!Collegeguysaresocute!Monica:Hey,you'vegotaboyfriend!Rachel:IknowButifsomeguywholookslikeCoreyHaimwantstokissmetonight,I'msooogonnaletthem!(TheyspotChandler)Monica:Look,there'sChandler,youknow,thatstupidfriendofRoss'whosaidI'mfatYouknowI'vealreadylostpounds!Rachel:ItYoucansototallytellMonica:IKNOW!Rachel:Welllet'sseeMaybeheknowswhereRossis(TheywalktowardsChandler)Hey,how'sitgoing(triestolookasuninterestedinhimaspossiblecheckingouthernails)Chandler:Aren'tyouRachel:Yeah,RachelAndthis(pointstoMonica)isRoss'sister,MonicaWemetatThanksgiving(looksaroundtheroomasifsearchingforsomethingmoreinterestingtodo)Chandler:(smilingatMonica)Right(toRachel)Sohow'reyoudoingRachel:Bitchin'Chandler:HiMonicaMonica:HiChandlerIt'sreallynicetoseeyou(rollshereyes)NOT(sheandRachelgigglealittleandChandlerlooksunimpressed)Chandler:OkayI'llseeifIcanfindRoss(GoesofftofindRoss)Monica:OhmyGodRachBeanbagchairsRachel:OhMonica:DoNOTletmesitinoneofthoseWe'llbeherefordays(CuttoChandlerHe'swalkingaroundlookingforRossHeseeshimkissingagirlnexttoavendingmachine)Ross:ListenAdrienne,youcan'ttellChandleraboutthisAdrienne:Ohbelieveme,Ross,Iwon'tbetellinganybodyaboutthisRoss:Cool!(TheystartkissingagainandChandlerlooksshocked)Scene:WecutbacktothepresentThereunionwhereChandlerandRossaretalkingRoss:Ididn'tknowyouknewaboutthatChandler:Well,Ididandithurt(theywalktowardsthebar)That'swhenIwrotethesong:"BetrayalInTheCommonRoom"Ross:(looksdisappointedinhimself)ManII'msorryChandler:Look(handshimadrink)itwasalooongtimeagoRoss:So,ehImadeoutwithAdrienneandyoumadeoutwithMissyWellIguesswe'reevenChandler:(smilingalittlenervously)HmmmmmhmRoss:Weareeven,rightChandler:(sighs)JustonemorethingIwassopissedatyouthatnightthatIwantedtogetbackatyouSoIthought,whodoesRosslikethemorethananybodyRoss:(thinksaboutitforafewseconds)WhatdidyoudotomymomChandler:Nother!Flashbackscene:Wecutbacktothe'spartyRachelandMonicaare"dancing"Rachel:IamsooodrunkMonica:That'sweirdI'vehadthesamenumberofbeersasyouandIdon'tfeelanythingatall(Chandlerapproaches)Chandler:SooyougirlshavingfunMonica:Foryourinformation,assmunch,I'velostfourpoundsMaybeevenfivewithallthedancing(Aguyentersholdingapizzabox)Pizzaguy:SOMEBODYORDERAPIZZAMonica:OhTHATSME!(sherunstothepizzaguy)Rachel:(finishingthelastofherdrink)IamsoonotgoingtodogoodonmySATstomorrowChandler:WellmaybeifyougotoschoolherenextyearwecantotallyhangoutRachel:(sarcastic)OhyeahThereisaplan!Whydon'tIjuststarttakingmysmartpillsnowChandler:Well,maybeyoucangetinonabeautyscholarshipRachel:(blushing)Oh,whataline(walkstowardsthedrinkstablewithherbacktowardsChandlerandwhispers"OhmyGod!")Chandler:SowhereareyouapplyingtoRachel:Ohwell,Youknow,Ithinkit'skindareallyimportantthatIgosomewherewherethere'ssun,soI'msortof(Chandlerleansinankissesher)(Shepullsaway)Hey!Chandler:I'mincollegeandI'minabandRachel:(Sheconsidersitforasecond)Yeahokay(Sheputsherhandsaroundhisneckandtheystartkissingagain) Scene:Monica'sapartmentThestripperissittingatthekitchentableMonica,RachelandPhoebearestandingaroundhimRoy:What'sthematterYouneversawayearoldstrippercrybeforePhoebe:Youknow,it'sfineWe'llpayyouRoy:No,no,you'rerightWhoamIkiddingIshouldhavehungupthatbreakawayjockstrapyearsagoWhatamIgonnadoImean,thishasbeenmylifeforthirtytwoyearsTakingmyclothesoffinfrontofpeopleisallIknowRachel:No,waitNothere'sgottabesomethingelsethatyoucandoImean,whatskillsdoyouhaveRoy:Idon'tknowIcanmakemypecsdanceIcanpickupadollarbillwithmybuttcheeksIcangotothatspecialplaceinsidemewhereIfeelnoshameRachel:SomaybesomethinginanofficePhoebe:OryoucouldteachstrippingYouknow,shareyourgift,passthetorchRoy:Youknow,actuallythat'snotabadideaIcandoitoutofmyapartmentIdon'tthinkmymomwouldmindPhoebe:ThereyougoOkay,doyouthinkyou'regonnabeokayRoy:Yeah,yeah,yeahThisissoweirdImean,youneverknowwhenit'sgonnabeyourlastdanceAndIdidn'tevengetachancetofinishitPhoebe:(afterapause)Finishit!Roy:WhatPhoebe:YourlastdanceDoitforusRoy:ReallyRachel:(toPhoebe)ReallyPhoebe:Yeah,yeahHedeservestodothethinghelovesonelasttimeRoy:Okay,allrightGetreadyladies!(theysitdownandRoyplays"YouMakeMeFeel"bySylvesteronhisboombox,andstartsWithhisbacktowardsthegirls,hestartswavinghishands,thenbackstowardsthegirlsslappinghisbutt,thenswingsitaround,andmakesthrustingpelvicmovementsinfrontofPhoebeHedancesaroundthetablesinbetweenallthegirls,andgetsbackintothekitchenpartoftheroomHethentearsoffoneofhissleevesandthrowsittowardsMonicaandRachel,whofightoverwhogetsitHethentearsoffhisothersleeveandmovesitbackandforthbetweenhislegs,gettingclosertoPhoebe)Phoebe:Ohthisissohooot!(RoythensitsonPhoebe'slap,lookingexhausted)Phoebe:Ohno,no,no,don'tstop!Roy:(outofbreath)Haveto Scene:ThegameshowstudioJoeyandGenearesittinginthewinnercircleDonny:Well,welcometotheWinnerCircleJoeyandGene,youguysreadyJoey:(nervously)YeahGene:(irritable)Sure(Joeygetsevenmorenervous)Donny:OkayGivemesixtysecondsontheclockpleaseReady,GO!(runsoff)(thescreensays"towin"and"typesoftrees")Gene:Oak,maple,elm,birchJoey:IIIdon'tknowTypesoftrees(JoeyhearsthebellwhichmeanshisansweriscorrectandissurprisedThescreennowsays"towin"and"Spanishwords")Gene:UhmBuenosdías,enchilada,porfavorJoey:(sympathetic)Oh,I'msosorryIdon'tknowanySpanishwords(There'sthenextbell,andthecorrectanswerThescreenchangesto"towin"and"thingsthatburn"Genenowrealizesthathegottwocorrectanswersandgetsupinhisseat)Gene:Amatch,acandleJoey:Thingsthatgo"tssst"whenyouputthemoutGene:Atorch,abonfire(Joeyseemslost)uhm,yourpeeJoey:Thingsthatburn(andanotherbellforthecorrectanswer"towin"and"Whatadogmightsay")Gene:"I'dliketogoforawalk",uhm"scratchmybelly"Joey:Dude,dude!Ithinkyou'relosingitGene:Uhm,"Ihavefur","Iliketobark"Joey:Oh,oh,ohWhatadogsays(thebellsoundsagain,"towin"and"pizzatoppings")Gene:PepperoniJoey:(instantly)Pizzatoppings,next!(there'ssecondsleft,"towin"and"Supermodels")Gene:CindyCrawford,ChristieBrinkley,HeidiKlum,ClaudiaSchifferJoey:Oh,oh,oh(secondsleft)Gene:ChristieTurlington,KateMossJoey:GirlsChandlercouldnevergetGene:(irritated)Supermodels!Joey:Where(lookingaround)Scene:ChandlerandMonica'sapartmentMonica'sthereandRossandChandlerwalkinRoss:Hey,where'sRachelMonica:SheandPhoebetookthestrippertothehospitalRoss:DidyouknowChandlerkissedRachelMonica:WhatWhenwasthisRoss:NineteenEightySevenTheweekendyouguysvisitedmeatschoolMonica:OhmyGod!That'swild!Chandler:Yeah,butitwaslikeamillionyearsago,soitdoesn'tmatterRoss:Well,itmatterstomeChandler:WhyRoss:BecausethenightyoukissedRachelwasthenightIkissedRachelfortheveryfirsttimeChandler:YoukissedherthatnighttooMonica:TwoguysinonenightWow,IthoughtshebecameaslutaftershegothernosefixedChandler:Seriously,wheredidthishappenRoss:Okay,afteryoutoldmeshewaspassedoutinourroom,IwentintheretomakesureshewasallrightShewaslyingonmybed,allburiedinpeoples'coatsWell,Iwenttokissherontheforehead,youknowButitwassodark,IaccidentallygotherlipsIstartedtopullaway,butthenIfeltherstarttokissmebackItwasonlyforasecond,butitwasamazingAndnow,nowIfindoutthatyoukissedherfirstChandler:OhwaitWhatbeddidyousayshewasonRoss:MineChandler:I'mprettysureIputheronmybedRoss:No,shewasdefinitelyonmybedChandler:WhywouldIkissagirl,andthenputheronyourbedRoss:Well,thenwhowasonmybedMonica:(screeching)OH!Oh,oh!(holdingherhandinfrontofhermouth)Ross:(realizing)NO!No,no!Monica:YES!(Chandlergetsan"ohno!"lookonhisface)Ross:YouwereunderthepileofcoatsMonica:Iwasthepileofcoats!Ross:OHMYGOD!Monica:YouweremyMidnightMysteryKisserRoss:YouweremyfirstkisswithRachelMonica:YouweremyfirstkisseverChandler:WhatdidImarryintoCOMMERCIALBREAKScene:BackatthepartyinPeoplearedancingto"DiscoInferno"byTheTrammps(MonicaisdancingAtfirstsheseemsinsecureandmovesslowly,butthengetsintothegrooveandswingsherhipsfromsidetosidewhileholdingherhandsupShetheneatsthelastpieceofpizzashewasholdingandagainmovesherhipsfromsidetoside,pushingherhandsintheairinbeatwiththemusicHermovesgetmorewildlywhileshe'ssnappingherfingersShelosesbalanceandfallsbackontoapinkbeanbag)Monica:Oh,crap!THEEND脱衣舞男之泪嘿,伙计们…等等,我来跟他们讲。乔伊要在一个益智节目中做嘉宾了。真的?哪个节目?鱼海草沉船…海中之物…你要上智力金字塔!哦那是我们最喜欢的益智节目了!除了匹配赛以外!还有输赢签。瞧瞧我结的亲家。你们想明天来看我录节目吗?不行我们要给菲比开个婚前告别单身狂欢。对喽抱歉兄弟们此路不通。哦钱德勒和我要参加一个校友聚会。难以置信你要跟DonnyOsmond做节目。当真?当然!?罗斯和我以前总想学Donny和Marie一样。你们俩还越说越起劲儿了。对我们以前还在家里和朋友面前表演过嘞。哦没错我还真给它忘了。我来段乡村民谣。那我就来段摇滚。我要离开你了。又见到这些人了。哦我的上帝那是JeffreyClaric。谁?JohnRusolf的室友。他当时跟AndriaTembrino拍拖。她后来又跟MichaelSklauf好上了。我上的是这所学校吗?嘿那是MisseyGolberg你肯定记得她。当然她很正点。哥们儿你可跟我老妹结了婚的。你说的没错我夸她正点就是跟她不正经了?嘿我听说她又单身了你说我是不是该跟她约会呢?你是不是想要打破君子协定?对了求求你。嘿。瞧瞧乐队的传单。我在机房的苹果机上做的。乖乖名字还挺醒目的。这多亏有了针Helvetic打印机。哥们儿我们要在"亚学联"盖了。嘿,伙计们。嘿,Missey。你知道吗我们乐队星期五演出。是啊你该来看看。我们管它叫"行还是不行"。不行。行!好吧我去。她走了。我知道。你知道吗我一定要约(钓泡拍)到她。哥们儿我还想约她呢。是我先说的兄弟。那我还先想到的呢老哥。听着你要是约…等等我们在干吗呢?我们俩可不能重色轻友反目成仇再说天涯何处无芳草。就是。我高中就有性生活了。我也是我是情场高手。好吧我们俩立个君子协定谁都不许跟MisseyGolberg约会。一言为定。那么现在我们就不能跟MisseyGolbergPhoebeKate还有MollyRingwalt约会了。没错约法三章。哦还有ShinaEasten反正我们也追不上她。你追不上她倒是真的。好吧我正式授权允许你打破君子协定。谢谢。好我要上啦。嘿还记得上学时你跟女孩说话都慌神吗?(你钓马子有多紧张)你的手在发抖呢。我知道,我还一个劲地冒汗。鼓掌。欢迎大家这里是智力金字塔肥皂剧之周。来看看选手们。首先是数据库专家JeanLester。他的搭档是"DaysofOurLives"剧中的明星JoeyTribbiani。嘿我知道普通人跟名人在一起时都会紧张。不过没事儿我跟你差不多就是好看点儿钱多点儿。…要跟"GeneralHospital"剧中的明星LesleyCharlson搭档。欢迎大家祝各位好运。我们开始玩智力金字塔好吗?我们在节目开始之前已经抛过硬币了。Jean你猜对硬币所以你先开始。你选那组题目?我选"YouCrossTheLine"。YouCrossTheLine。Joey你给Jean描述那些有线条的东西。限时秒。预备开始。呃象超市一样的商店…哦!我明白我明白。呃我写…日记。不是更象个笔记本…该死!哦要是我建所房子那个规划不是叫平面图的…带个图字都不行?在高中有一次我跟个女孩在…校食堂。在那儿是有过那么一次不过那不是他们要的那个词。你们办的还真不错。哦你喜欢吗?哦我的上帝还挺高雅的呢。什么时候开始来点儿刺激的?什么?你知道的脱衣舞男啦男子艳舞啦PP晃来晃去之类的。Phoebs我…今天没有艳舞表演。事实上我们觉得我们老大不小的了还玩这些?哦好吧。我知道你们在干吗好的。今天就是个茶话会好的。呒真脏啊。真的Phoebs这不是那种狂欢。真的?这就是我的婚前单身告别会?Rachel我可就只有这一次单身告别会啊。我提包里可有一大筐的酒呢。真的?今天就只是茶话会?当然不是了。Phoebe还有别的呢(好戏在后头)。我是说我去问问Monica看什么时候上PP艳舞。现在Jean我必须提醒你你得答对下面所有的个题目才能过关。给Joey描述冰箱里的物品。我看这简直是给我们送分啊。限时秒。预备开始。你往咖啡里加的东西。勺子手脸。它是白色的。纸雪鬼!它比牛奶重。呃石头狗地球。过。你往三明治上放的东西。萨拉米香肠凤尾鱼果酱。白色的。纸雪鬼!它使用鸡蛋做的。小鸡?过。你往汉堡包上放的东西。番茄酱。对。停。奶油蛋卷。哦时间到。Joey你…差点儿就上榜了。Jean你下半场还可能有机会进入决胜圈的。但是现在Henriada你待会儿将进入决胜圈一试运气赢取$。不要走开。暂停。哦我们没赢不过乐在其中也不错对吧?我有个孩子刚上大学我的膝盖要做手术你刚刚让我损失一万美金。喔。抱歉我保证下一轮我们发挥好一点。我会发挥好一些因为我不会跟你搭档了。你要知道有些题目也太难了点。例如我的冰箱里怎么会有鬼的?那么星期六晚上。我很愿意。太好了。你怎么这么长时间才约我?呃这听起来有些愚蠢但是…你还记得我的室友ChandlerBing?当然他在你的"乐队"里。已经年了不过那个引号还是挺伤人的。对不起。没关系。呃总之我们那时都很喜欢你但是我们又不想为此伤友谊所以我们约定谁也不能跟你约会。真的?是啊怎么了?呃Chandler和我经常一块儿亲热。你们俩?对呀我们常在下课后到实验室去。还在我的地盘上?嘿那家伙还没来?都一个多小时了。他要从Jersey赶过来他说会尽快赶到的。谁呀?警察。哦警察!没错是GoodBody警官。出什么事啦警官?是不是有人调皮了?唔这么多楼梯。唔老天!你们应该告诉人家这栋楼没电梯。我午饭不该吃墨西哥菜。你没事吧,警官…GoodBody。你非要那么说的话。那么哪位是我要“逮捕”的年轻女士啊?哦上帝。好了谁告诉我插座在哪我们开始狂欢吧。Rachel?啊?呃你是不是在开我的玩笑?好吧我们原来不知道你想要脱衣舞男所以我们临时在电话簿上找了一个。你们的电话簿有多老了?哦我的上帝这个男人要在我的公寓里脱光光!哦上帝不要。我可不想看他跳脱衣舞。你们在说我吗?哦不。我是说我们显然是要看你跳脱衣舞的你这个万人迷。好的女士们请注意了。有人呼唤法律的巨擘了吗?我要警告你我有秘密武器呦。我希望你们熟悉本州法律规则。好了好了玩笑开够了现在该乐一乐了。喔她躲着我。这就是我兴奋时候的样子。你们刚才就是在说我。我可不需要这些。我要走了我的帽子呢?我干这行已经很长时间了。骇人听闻。现在你付我块我这就走人。?你开什么玩笑?没关系我来拿支票。不你不用付他钱他什么也没干。什么也没干?我大老远的从Holbolken搭公交车赶来我爬了天知道的上亿的台阶。这可不像是我平时的消遣。我不管我们才不会就为这个付给你块钱。那好你那么保守欣赏不了男性的身材和魅力这又不是我的错。哦是我保守对所以我不想看个半大老头儿穿一身我敢说是小孩万圣节的行头跳脱衣舞。我也许是从我侄子那儿借的衣服但我担保衣服里头可是货真价实的真男人。哦抱歉你是说真男人还是老男人?哦你可真刻薄。哦瞧警官…哦该死啊!没想到吧大胖子也很脆弱。鼓掌。好Henriada你选了"JackandJillWentUpTheHill"。我朋友Rachel有个小孩我对儿歌很熟悉。Joey描述以下跟美国国会有关的事物。限时秒。预备开始。(立法机关)呃过。(国会大厦圆形大厅)过。(阻碍议事)过。(附加议案)呃你喉咙后面挂着的小东西。悬雍垂(小舌头)。哦那过。(参众联席会议)好了Henriada你没有得到所需的点数所以那就意味着Jean你将进入决胜圈来赢取$而且你将与JoeyTribbiani一起参赛。你跟MisseyGolberg亲热过?你怎么能在向我保证过之后还这么做?失陪一下。那听起来倒一点不象同性恋。你违反了君子协定。Ross那是年前的事了。那也不行现在说的是我们之间友谊的基础。我以为我们之间友谊的基础是难堪的发型。好吧你看要是我们真的明算账的话你也不是没干过违反君子协定的事。我没有。真的?没有。真的?!没有!AgerinTurner!啊?嘿。我从没跟AgerinTurner搅和到一起。哦得了吧你知道我有多喜欢他。我不知道你在说什么。真的?还记得那个入学后第一个圣诞节假期前一周的晚会吗?我记得当时有人找你。难以置信我们在一个真的大学聚会上。我兴奋的直想尿尿。这可真棒。大学男生好可爱。嘿你有男朋友了。我知道。不过要是有个象CoreyHam的想亲我我是不会拒绝的。嘿那是Chandler。你知道的Ross的傻朋友说我胖的那个。你要知道我都瘦掉磅了。就是一眼就看得出来。我就知道!问问他Ross在哪。嘿怎么样?你不是…对,Rachel。这是Ross的妹妹Monica。我们感恩节见过。对。那您怎么样?更浪了。嗨Monica。嗨Chandler。我是说见到你很高兴才怪。好吧。我看看能不能找到Ross。哦我的天Rach充气椅。千万别让我坐上去不然我们就走不了了。听着Agerin你可不能告诉Chandler。哦相信我Ross我不会告诉任何人的。酷。我以为你不知道。但是我知道了我还很伤心。所以我才写了"在休息室被背叛"那首歌。嘿对不起。好了那都是陈年往事了。那我跟Agerin亲热而你跟Missey亲热。我看我们俩扯平了。我们俩扯平了对吧?还有一件事。那晚我特生你的气想报复你所以我当时想谁是Ross最喜欢的人呢。你对我妈做了什么?不是她。我可真醉了。那就怪了我跟你喝的差不多怎么我一点事儿没有。你们俩玩的好吗?跟你说好的不得了。我瘦了磅没准儿跳完舞会瘦磅。有人定比萨饼了吗?哦是我。我明天的入学考试算是没戏了。那明年也许你可以到我们这儿来上大学我们可以一块玩玩。哦对你说得挺轻松那我干脆现在就吃点脑灵通得了。唔没准儿你能拿到选美奖学金呢。哦别骗人了(嘀咕:我的老天!)那你都申请了哪些学校?唔你知道我觉着我要去的地方应该阳光明媚这很重要所以我想…嗨!我是大学生还是乐队成员。那好吧。怎么啦你们没见过五十岁的脱衣舞男哭过吗?你看算了吧我们付你钱还不行吗。不是那么回事儿你说的对我在开谁的玩笑?早几年我就该用那条脱开的护身带上吊算了。现在我该怎么办?我是说我干这个都年了。我只会在人家面前脱衣服。哦等等一定还有别的事你能做的。我是说你还有什么技术吗?我不知道。我能跳肚皮舞。我可以用屁股蛋儿捡夹起美元的钞票。我能变得毫无廉耻之心。那你也许可以从政。或者你可以教人跳脱衣舞。你知道吗?分享你的才能发扬光大。对呀这主意不赖我可以在我的公寓外头干。我想我妈不会介意的。这下好啦你感觉好一点了吧?对好点了。世事难料啊。你不会知道什么时候曲终人散。而且我甚至都没能跳完最后一支舞。那你把它跳完吧。什么?你的最后一次给我们跳完吧。你当真?是的他应该最后再做一次他喜爱的事。好的准备好了女士们。哦这可真让人兴奋!哦别别停下来。跳不动了。欢迎来到决胜圈。JoeyJean你们准备好了吗?好了。当然。好限时秒。预备开始。橡树枫树榆树桦树…呃我不知道树种?(西班牙语)哦抱歉我一点不懂西班牙语。火柴蜡烛…扑灭时发出"嗞"声的东西。火炬篝火…哦你的小便。燃烧物。我要去散散步。挠挠我的肚皮。哥们儿我觉得你说的太乱了。呃我有毛我会吠叫。哦WhatADogSays。意大利辣香肠…比萨饼料。下一个!辛迪克劳馥克莉斯蒂布林克利海蒂克劳姆克劳迪娅西佛。克莉斯蒂特林顿凯特玛斯…Chandler永远追不上的姑娘。超级名模!在哪?!嘿Rachel在哪?她和Phoebe送脱衣舞男上医院了。你知不知道Chandler吻过Rachel?什么?什么时候?年。你们俩上学校找我去的那个周末。我的天那也太放肆了。是不过那是很久以前的事了没什么要紧的。但那对我很要紧。为什么因为你吻Rachel的那晚是我第一次吻Rachel。你那晚也吻Rachel了?一晚上两个男人?我还以为她整过鼻子以后才变得放荡了呢。真的你在哪儿吻的Rachel?是这样的你告诉我Rachel在我们屋里睡过去之后我进去看看她怎么样了。她躺在我床上睡在一堆衣服下面。呃我过去想吻她的额头但屋里太暗我不小心亲到了她的嘴唇我想回身但我觉得她也开始吻我。那只有一瞬间但感觉太奇妙了。但是现在我却发现你先吻了她。呃,等等,你刚才说她在哪张床上?我床上。我记得很清楚我把她放到我床上的。不对,她肯定是在我床上。我干吗吻完一个姑娘后把她放到你床上?那当时我床上的是谁?哦哦哦!不不不!是的!你在那堆衣服下面?那堆衣服就是我。哦我的上帝!你是我的午夜神秘接吻人?你是我和Rachel的初吻?你就是我这辈子的初吻?!瞧瞧我结的什么亲家。哦倒霉
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