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how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf

how-to-win-friends-and-influenc…

上传者: 读书天一阁 2010-07-29 评分1 评论0 下载886 收藏0 阅读量1461 暂无简介 简介 举报

简介:本文档为《how-to-win-friends-and-influence-peoplepdf》,可适用于人力资源领域,主题内容包含HowToWinFriendsInfluencePeopleREVISEDEDITIONDALECARNEGIEEditorialConsultan符等。

HowToWinFriendsInfluencePeopleREVISEDEDITIONDALECARNEGIEEditorialConsultant:DorothyCarnegieEditorialAssistance:ArthurRPell,PhDSIMONANDSCHUSTERNEWYORKCopyrightbyDaleCarnegie,copyrightrenewedbyDonnaDaleCarnegieandDorothyCarnegieRevisedEditioncopyrightbyDonnaDaleCarnegieandDorothyCarnegieAllrightsreservedincludingtherightofreproductioninwholeorinpartinanyformPublishedbySimonandSchusterADivisionofGulfWesternCorporationSimonSchusterBuildingRockefellerCenterAvenueoftheAmericasNewYork,NewYorkSIMONANDSCHUSTERandcolophonaretrademarksofSimonSchusterDesignedbyStanleySDrateManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmericaLibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationDataCarnegie,Dale,HowtowinfriendsandinfluencepeopleIncludesindexSuccessITitleBFSC’ISBNOXEIGHTTHINGSTHISBOOKWILLHELPYOUACHIEVEGetoutofamentalrut,thinknewthoughts,acquirenewvisions,discovernewambitionsMakefriendsquicklyandeasilyIncreaseyourpopularityWinpeopletoyourwayofthinkingIncreaseyourinfluence,yourprestige,yourabilitytogetthingsdoneHandlecomplaints,avoidarguments,keepyourhumancontactssmoothandpleasantBecomeabetterspeaker,amoreentertainingconversationalistArouseenthusiasmamongyourassociatesThisbookhasdoneallthesethingsformorethantenmillionreadersinthirtysixlanguagesThisBookIsDedicatedtoaManWhoDoesn’tNeedtoReadIt:MyCherishedFriendHOMERCROYContentPrefaceToRevisedEdition………………………………………………………………HowTheBookWasWrittenAndWhy………………………………………………NineSuggestionsOnHowToGetTheBestOfThisBook………………………………PartOne:FundamentalTechniquesInHandlingPeople:Ifyouwanttogatherhoney,don'tkickoverthebeehive……………………………:Thebigsecretofdealingwithpeople…………………………………………………:HewhocandothishasthewholeworldwithhimHewhocannotwalksalonelywayPartTwo:SixWaysToMakePeopleLikeYou:Dothisandyou'llbewelcomeanywhere……………………………………………:Asimplewaytomakeagoodimpression……………………………………………:Ifyoudon'tdothis,youareheadedfortrouble………………………………………:Aneasywaytobecomeagoodconversationalist………………………………………:Howtointerestpeople…………………………………………………………………:Howtomakepeoplelikeyouinstantly………………………………………………PartThree:HowToWinPeopleToYourWayOfThinking:Youcan’twinanargument……………………………………………………………:Asurewayofmakingenemiesandhowtoavoidit………………………………:Ifyou'rewrong,admitit………………………………………………………………:Adropofhoney……………………………………………………………………:ThesecretofSocrates………………………………………………………………:Thesafetyvalveinhandlingcomplaints……………………………………………:HowToGetCooperation……………………………………………………………:Aformulathatwillworkwondersforyou…………………………………………:Whateverybodywants………………………………………………………………:Anappealthateverybodylikes………………………………………………………:ThemoviesdoitTVdoesitWhydon'tyoudoit…………………………………:Whennothingelseworks,trythis……………………………………………………Part:BeALeader:HowToChangePeopleWithoutGivingOffenceOrArousingResentment:Ifyoumustfindfault,thisisthewaytobegin………………………………………:Howtocriticizeandnotbehatedforit……………………………………………:Atalkaboutyourownmistakesfirst…………………………………………………:Noonelikestotakeorders…………………………………………………………:Lettheotherpersonsaveface…………………………………………………………:Howtospurpeopleontosuccess……………………………………………………:Giveadogagoodname………………………………………………………………:Makethefaultseemeasytocorrect…………………………………………………:Makingpeoplegladtodowhatyouwant……………………………………………AShortcutToDistinction………………………………………………………………PrefaceToRevisedEditionHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplewasfirstpublishedininaneditionofonlyfivethousandcopiesNeitherDaleCarnegienorthepublishers,SimonandSchuster,anticipatedmorethanthismodestsaleTotheiramazement,thebookbecameanovernightsensation,andeditionaftereditionrolledoffthepressestokeepupwiththeincreasingpublicdemandHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopletookitsplaceinpublishinghistoryasoneofthealltimeinternationalbestsellersIttouchedanerveandfilledahumanneedthatwasmorethanafaddishphenomenonofpostDepressiondays,asevidencedbyitscontinuedanduninterruptedsalesintotheeighties,almosthalfacenturylaterDaleCarnegieusedtosaythatitwaseasiertomakeamilliondollarsthantoputaphraseintotheEnglishlanguageHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplebecamesuchaphrase,quoted,paraphrased,parodied,usedininnumerablecontextsfrompoliticalcartoontonovelsThebookitselfwastranslatedintoalmosteveryknownwrittenlanguageEachgenerationhasdiscovereditanewandhasfounditrelevantWhichbringsustothelogicalquestion:WhyreviseabookthathasprovenandcontinuestoproveitsvigorousanduniversalappealWhytamperwithsuccessToanswerthat,wemustrealizethatDaleCarnegiehimselfwasatirelessreviserofhisownworkduringhislifetimeHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplewaswrittentobeusedasatextbookforhiscoursesinEffectiveSpeakingandHumanRelationsandisstillusedinthosecoursestodayUntilhisdeathinheconstantlyimprovedandrevisedthecourseitselftomakeitapplicabletotheevolvingneedsofanevergrowingpublicNoonewasmoresensitivetothechangingcurrentsofpresentdaylifethanDaleCarnegieHeconstantlyimprovedandrefinedhismethodsofteachingheupdatedhisbookonEffectiveSpeakingseveraltimesHadhelivedlonger,hehimselfwouldhaverevisedHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopletobetterreflectthechangesthathavetakenplaceintheworldsincethethirtiesManyofthenamesofprominentpeopleinthebook,wellknownatthetimeoffirstpublication,arenolongerrecognizedbymanyoftoday’sreadersCertainexamplesandphrasesseemasquaintanddatedinoursocialclimateasthoseinaVictoriannovelTheimportantmessageandoverallimpactofthebookisweakenedtothatextentOurpurpose,therefore,inthisrevisionistoclarifyandstrengthenthebookforamodernreaderwithouttamperingwiththecontentWehavenot“changed”HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopleexcepttomakeafewexcisionsandaddafewmorecontemporaryexamplesThebrash,breezyCarnegiestyleisintacteventhethirtiesslangisstillthereDaleCarnegiewroteashespoke,inanintensivelyexuberant,colloquial,conversationalmannerSohisvoicestillspeaksasforcefullyasever,inthebookandinhisworkThousandsofpeopleallovertheworldarebeingtrainedinCarnegiecoursesinincreasingnumberseachyearAndotherthousandsarereadingandstudyingHowtoWinFriendsandlnfluencePeopleandbeinginspiredtouseitsprinciplestobettertheirlivesToallofthem,weofferthisrevisioninthespiritofthehoningandpolishingofafinelymadetool–DorothyCarnegie(MrsDaleCarnegie)HowThisBookWasWrittenAndWhyDuringthefirstthirtyfiveyearsofthetwentiethcentury,thepublishinghousesofAmericaprintedmorethanafifthofamilliondifferentbooksMostofthemweredeadlydull,andmanywerefinancialfailures“Many,”didIsayThepresidentofoneofthelargestpublishinghousesintheworldconfessedtomethathiscompany,afterseventyfiveyearsofpublishingexperience,stilllostmoneyonsevenoutofeveryeightbooksitpublishedWhy,then,didIhavethetemeritytowriteanotherbookAnd,afterIhadwrittenit,whyshouldyoubothertoreaditFairquestions,bothandI’lltrytoanswerthemIhave,since,beenconductingeducationalcoursesforbusinessandprofessionalmenandwomeninNewYorkAtfirst,Iconductedcoursesinpublicspeakingonlycoursesdesignedtotrainadults,byactualexperience,tothinkontheirfeetandexpresstheirideaswithmoreclarity,moreeffectivenessandmorepoise,bothinbusinessinterviewsandbeforegroupsButgradually,astheseasonspassed,Irealizedthatassorelyastheseadultsneededtrainingineffectivespeaking,theyneededstillmoretraininginthefineartofgettingalongwithpeopleineverydaybusinessandsocialcontactsIalsograduallyrealizedthatIwassorelyinneedofsuchtrainingmyselfAsIlookbackacrosstheyears,IamappalledatmyownfrequentlackoffinesseandunderstandingHowIwishabooksuchasthishadbeenplacedinmyhandstwentyyearsago!WhatapricelessboonitwouldhavebeenDealingwithpeopleisprobablythebiggestproblemyouface,especiallyifyouareinbusinessYes,andthatisalsotrueifyouareahousewife,architectorengineerResearchdoneafewyearsagoundertheauspicesoftheCarnegieFoundationfortheAdvancementofTeachinguncoveredamostimportantandsignificantfactafactlaterconfirmedbyadditionalstudiesmadeattheCarnegieInstituteofTechnologyTheseinvestigationsrevealedthateveninsuchtechnicallinesasengineering,aboutpercentofone’sfinancialsuccessisduetoone’stechnicalknowledgeandaboutpercentisduetoskillinhumanengineering,topersonalityandtheabilitytoleadpeopleFormanyyears,IconductedcourseseachseasonattheEngineers’ClubofPhiladelphia,andalsocoursesfortheNewYorkChapteroftheAmericanInstituteofElectricalEngineersAtotalofprobablymorethanfifteenhundredengineershavepassedthroughmyclassesTheycametomebecausetheyhadfinallyrealized,afteryearsofobservationandexperience,thatthehighestpaidpersonnelinengineeringarefrequentlynotthosewhoknowthemostaboutengineeringOnecanforexample,hiremeretechnicalabilityinengineering,accountancy,architectureoranyotherprofessionatnominalsalariesButthepersonwhohastechnicalknowledgeplustheabilitytoexpressideas,toassumeleadership,andtoarouseenthusiasmamongpeoplethatpersonisheadedforhigherearningpowerIntheheydayofhisactivity,JohnDRockefellersaidthat“theabilitytodealwithpeopleisaspurchasableacommodityassugarorcoffee”“AndIwillpaymoreforthatability,”saidJohnD,“thanforanyotherunderthesun”Wouldn’tyousupposethateverycollegeinthelandwouldconductcoursestodevelopthehighestpricedabilityunderthesunButifthereisjustonepractical,commonsensecourseofthatkindgivenforadultsinevenonecollegeintheland,ithasescapedmyattentionuptothepresentwritingTheUniversityofChicagoandtheUnitedYMCASchoolsconductedasurveytodeterminewhatadultswanttostudyThatsurveycost$,andtooktwoyearsThelastpartofthesurveywasmadeinMeriden,ConnecticutIthadbeenchosenasatypicalAmericantownEveryadultinMeridenwasinterviewedandrequestedtoanswerquestionsquestionssuchas“WhatisyourbusinessorprofessionYoureducationHowdoyouspendyoursparetimeWhatisyourincomeYourhobbiesYourambitionsYourproblemsWhatsubjectsareyoumostinterestedinstudying”AndsoonThatsurveyrevealedthathealthistheprimeinterestofadultsandthattheirsecondinterestispeoplehowtounderstandandgetalongwithpeoplehowtomakepeoplelikeyouandhowtowinotherstoyourwayofthinkingSothecommitteeconductingthissurveyresolvedtoconductsuchacourseforadultsinMeridenTheysearcheddiligentlyforapracticaltextbookonthesubjectandfoundnotoneFinallytheyapproachedoneoftheworld’soutstandingauthoritiesonadulteducationandaskedhimifheknewofanybookthatmettheneedsofthisgroup“No,”hereplied,"IknowwhatthoseadultswantButthebooktheyneedhasneverbeenwritten”Iknewfromexperiencethatthisstatementwastrue,forImyselfhadbeensearchingforyearstodiscoverapractical,workinghandbookonhumanrelationsSincenosuchbookexisted,IhavetriedtowriteoneforuseinmyowncoursesAndhereitisIhopeyoulikeitInpreparationforthisbook,IreadeverythingthatIcouldfindonthesubjecteverythingfromnewspapercolumns,magazinearticles,recordsofthefamilycourts,thewritingsoftheoldphilosophersandthenewpsychologistsInaddition,IhiredatrainedresearchertospendoneandahalfyearsinvariouslibrariesreadingeverythingIhadmissed,plowingthrougheruditetomesonpsychology,poringoverhundredsofmagazinearticles,searchingthroughcountlessbiographies,tryingtoascertainhowthegreatleadersofallageshaddealtwithpeopleWereadtheirbiographieswereadthelifestoriesofallgreatleadersfromJuliusCaesartoThomasEdisonIrecallthatwereadoveronehundredbiographiesofTheodoreRooseveltaloneWeweredeterminedtosparenotime,noexpense,todiscovereverypracticalideathatanyonehadeverusedthroughouttheagesforwinningfriendsandinfluencingpeopleIpersonallyinterviewedscoresofsuccessfulpeople,someofthemworldfamousinventorslikeMarconiandEdisonpoliticalleaderslikeFranklinDRooseveltandJamesFarleybusinessleaderslikeOwenDYoungmoviestarslikeClarkGableandMaryPickford,andexplorerslikeMartinJohnson,andtriedtodiscoverthetechniquestheyusedinhumanrelationsFromallthismaterial,IpreparedashorttalkIcalledit“HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeople”Isay“short”Itwasshortinthebeginning,butitsoonexpandedtoalecturethatconsumedonehourandthirtyminutesForyears,IgavethistalkeachseasontotheadultsintheCarnegieInstitutecoursesinNewYorkIgavethetalkandurgedthelistenerstogooutandtestitintheirbusinessandsocialcontacts,andthencomebacktoclassandspeakabouttheirexperiencesandtheresultstheyhadachievedWhataninterestingassignment!Thesemenandwomen,hungryforselfimprovement,werefascinatedbytheideaofworkinginanewkindoflaboratorythefirstandonlylaboratoryofhumanrelationshipsforadultsthathadeverexistedThisbookwasn’twrittenintheusualsenseofthewordItgrewasachildgrowsItgrewanddevelopedoutofthatlaboratory,outoftheexperiencesofthousandsofadultsYearsago,westartedwithasetofrulesprintedonacardnolargerthanapostcardThenextseasonweprintedalargercard,thenaleaflet,thenaseriesofbooklets,eachoneexpandinginsizeandscopeAfterfifteenyearsofexperimentandresearchcamethisbookTheruleswehavesetdownherearenotmeretheoriesorguessworkTheyworklikemagicIncredibleasitsounds,IhaveseentheapplicationoftheseprinciplesliterallyrevolutionizethelivesofmanypeopleToillustrate:AmanwithemployeesjoinedoneofthesecoursesForyears,hehaddrivenandcriticizedandcondemnedhisemployeeswithoutstintordiscretionKindness,wordsofappreciationandencouragementwerealientohislipsAfterstudyingtheprinciplesdiscussedinthisbook,thisemployersharplyalteredhisphilosophyoflifeHisorganizationisnowinspiredwithanewloyalty,anewenthusiasm,anewspiritofteamworkThreehundredandfourteenenemieshavebeenturnedintofriendsAsheproudlysaidinaspeechbeforetheclass:“WhenIusedtowalkthroughmyestablishment,noonegreetedmeMyemployeesactuallylookedtheotherwaywhentheysawmeapproachingButnowtheyareallmyfriendsandeventhejanitorcallsmebymyfirstname”Thisemployergainedmoreprofit,moreleisureandwhatisinfinitelymoreimportanthefoundfarmorehappinessinhisbusinessandinhishomeCountlessnumbersofsalespeoplehavesharplyincreasedtheirsalesbytheuseoftheseprinciplesManyhaveopenedupnewaccountsaccountsthattheyhadformerlysolicitedinvainExecutiveshavebeengivenincreasedauthority,increasedpayOneexecutivereportedalargeincreaseinsalarybecauseheappliedthesetruthsAnother,anexecutiveinthePhiladelphiaGasWorksCompany,wasslatedfordemotionwhenhewassixtyfivebecauseofhisbelligerence,becauseofhisinabilitytoleadpeopleskillfullyThistrainingnotonlysavedhimfromthedemotionbutbroughthimapromotionwithincreasedpayOninnumerableoccasions,spousesattendingthebanquetgivenattheendofthecoursehavetoldmethattheirhomeshavebeenmuchhappiersincetheirhusbandsorwivesstartedthistrainingPeoplearefrequentlyastonishedatthenewresultstheyachieveItallseemslikemagicInsomecases,intheirenthusiasm,theyhavetelephonedmeatmyhomeonSundaysbecausetheycouldn’twaitfortyeighthourstoreporttheirachievementsattheregularsessionofthecourseOnemanwassostirredbyatalkontheseprinciplesthathesatfarintothenightdiscussingthemwithothermembersoftheclassAtthreeo’clockinthemorning,theotherswenthomeButhewassoshakenbyarealizationofhisownmistakes,soinspiredbythevistaofanewandricherworldopeningbeforehim,thathewasunabletosleepHedidn’tsleepthatnightorthenextdayorthenextnightWhowasheAnaive,untrainedindividualreadytogushoveranynewtheorythatcamealongNo,farfromitHewasasophisticated,blasédealerinart,verymuchthemanabouttown,whospokethreelanguagesfluentlyandwasagraduateoftwoEuropeanuniversitiesWhilewritingthischapter,IreceivedaletterfromaGermanoftheoldschool,anaristocratwhoseforebearshadservedforgenerationsasprofessionalarmyofficersundertheHohenzollernsHisletter,writtenfromatransatlanticsteamer,tellingabouttheapplicationoftheseprinciples,rosealmosttoareligiousfervorAnotherman,anoldNewYorker,aHarvardgraduate,awealthyman,theownerofalargecarpetfactory,declaredhehadlearnedmoreinfourteenweeksthroughthissystemoftrainingaboutthefineartofinfluencingpeoplethanhehadlearnedaboutthesamesubjectduringhisfouryearsincollegeAbsurdLaughableFantasticOfcourse,youareprivilegedtodismissthisstatementwithwhateveradjectiveyouwishIammerelyreporting,withoutcomment,adeclarationmadebyaconservativeandeminentlysuccessfulHarvardgraduateinapublicaddresstoapproximatelysixhundredpeopleattheYaleClubinNewYorkontheeveningofThursday,February,“Comparedtowhatweoughttobe,”saidthefamousProfessorWilliamJamesofHarvard,“comparedtowhatweoughttobe,weareonlyhalfawakeWearemakinguseofonlyasmallpartof

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