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how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf

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HowToWinFriends&InfluencePeopleREVISEDEDITIONDALECARNEGIEEditorialConsultant:DorothyCarnegieEditorialAssistance:ArthurR.Pell,Ph.D.SIMONANDSCHUSTERNEWYORKCopyright1936byDaleCarnegie,copyrightrenewed1964byDonnaDaleCarnegieandDorothyCarnegieRevisedEditioncopyright1981byDonnaDaleCarnegieandDorothyCarnegieAllrightsreservedincludingtherightofreproductioninwholeorinpartinanyformPublishedbySimonandSchusterADivisionofGulf&WesternCorporationSimon&SchusterBuildingRockefellerCenter1230AvenueoftheAmericasNewYork,NewYork10020SIMONANDSCHUSTERandcolophonaretrademarksofSimon&SchusterDesignedbyStanleyS.DrateManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica17192018LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationDataCarnegie,Dale,1888-1955.Howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople.Includesindex.1.Success.I.Title.BF637.S8C371981158’.180-28759ISBNO-671-42517-XEIGHTTHINGSTHISBOOKWILLHELPYOUACHIEVE1.Getoutofamentalrut,thinknewthoughts,acquirenewvisions,discovernewambitions.2.Makefriendsquicklyandeasily.3.Increaseyourpopularity.4.Winpeopletoyourwayofthinking.5.Increaseyourinfluence,yourprestige,yourabilitytogetthingsdone.6.Handlecomplaints,avoidarguments,keepyourhumancontactssmoothandpleasant.7.Becomeabetterspeaker,amoreentertainingconversationalist.8.Arouseenthusiasmamongyourassociates.Thisbookhasdoneallthesethingsformorethantenmillionreadersinthirty-sixlanguages.ThisBookIsDedicatedtoaManWhoDoesn’tNeedtoReadIt:MyCherishedFriendHOMERCROY1ContentPrefaceToRevisedEdition………………………………………………………………..4HowTheBookWasWritten—AndWhy………………………………………….……...5NineSuggestionsOnHowToGetTheBestOfThisBook………………………………8PartOne:FundamentalTechniquesInHandlingPeople1:Ifyouwanttogatherhoney,don'tkickoverthebeehive.……………………………...112:Thebigsecretofdealingwithpeople………………………….……………………….183:Hewhocandothishasthewholeworldwithhim.Hewhocannotwalksalonelyway24PartTwo:SixWaysToMakePeopleLikeYou4:Dothisandyou'llbewelcomeanywhere………………….…………………………...345:Asimplewaytomakeagoodimpression……………………………………………...406:Ifyoudon'tdothis,youareheadedfortrouble…………………………………….…..447:Aneasywaytobecomeagoodconversationalist………………………………………488:Howtointerestpeople………………………………………………………………….539:Howtomakepeoplelikeyouinstantly.…………………………………………….…..56PartThree:HowToWinPeopleToYourWayOfThinking10:Youcan’twinanargument……………………………………………………………6311:Asurewayofmakingenemies—andhowtoavoidit………………………………...6712:Ifyou'rewrong,admitit……………………………….………………………………7213:Adropofhoney……………………………………………………..………………...7614:ThesecretofSocrates……………………………………………………….………...8015:Thesafetyvalveinhandlingcomplaints…………………….………………………..8316:HowToGetCooperation……………………………………………………………...8617:Aformulathatwillworkwondersforyou.………………………….………………..8918:Whateverybodywants………………………………………………………………...92219:Anappealthateverybodylikes………………………………………………………..9620:Themoviesdoit.TVdoesit.Whydon'tyoudoit?………………………….……….9921:Whennothingelseworks,trythis……………………………………………….…….102Part4:BeALeader:HowToChangePeopleWithoutGivingOffenceOrArousingResentment22:Ifyoumustfindfault,thisisthewaytobegin………………………………………..10623:Howtocriticize—andnotbehatedforit…………………………….………………..10924:Atalkaboutyourownmistakesfirst………………………………………………….11125:Noonelikestotakeorders.…………………………………………………………...11426:Lettheotherpersonsaveface…………………………………………………………11627:Howtospurpeopleontosuccess……………………………….…………………….11828:Giveadogagoodname……………………………………………………………….12129:Makethefaultseemeasytocorrect.…………………………………………………..12330:Makingpeoplegladtodowhatyouwant……………………………………………..125AShortcutToDistinction………………………………………………………….……...1283PrefaceToRevisedEditionHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplewasfirstpublishedin1937inaneditionofonlyfivethousandcopies.NeitherDaleCarnegienorthepublishers,SimonandSchuster,anticipatedmorethanthismodestsale.Totheiramazement,thebookbecameanovernightsensation,andeditionaftereditionrolledoffthepressestokeepupwiththeincreasingpublicdemand.HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopletookitsplaceinpublishinghistoryasoneoftheall-timeinternationalbestsellers.Ittouchedanerveandfilledahumanneedthatwasmorethanafaddishphenomenonofpost-Depressiondays,asevidencedbyitscontinuedanduninterruptedsalesintotheeighties,almosthalfacenturylater.DaleCarnegieusedtosaythatitwaseasiertomakeamilliondollarsthantoputaphraseintotheEnglishlanguage.HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplebecamesuchaphrase,quoted,paraphrased,parodied,usedininnumerablecontextsfrompoliticalcartoontonovels.Thebookitselfwastranslatedintoalmosteveryknownwrittenlanguage.Eachgenerationhasdiscovereditanewandhasfounditrelevant.Whichbringsustothelogicalquestion:Whyreviseabookthathasprovenandcontinuestoproveitsvigorousanduniversalappeal?Whytamperwithsuccess?Toanswerthat,wemustrealizethatDaleCarnegiehimselfwasatirelessreviserofhisownworkduringhislifetime.HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplewaswrittentobeusedasatextbookforhiscoursesinEffectiveSpeakingandHumanRelationsandisstillusedinthosecoursestoday.Untilhisdeathin1955heconstantlyimprovedandrevisedthecourseitselftomakeitapplicabletotheevolvingneedsofanever-growingpublic.Noonewasmoresensitivetothechangingcurrentsofpresent-daylifethanDaleCarnegie.Heconstantlyimprovedandrefinedhismethodsofteaching;heupdatedhisbookonEffectiveSpeakingseveraltimes.Hadhelivedlonger,hehimselfwouldhaverevisedHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopletobetterreflectthechangesthathavetakenplaceintheworldsincethethirties.Manyofthenamesofprominentpeopleinthebook,wellknownatthetimeoffirstpublication,arenolongerrecognizedbymanyoftoday’sreaders.CertainexamplesandphrasesseemasquaintanddatedinoursocialclimateasthoseinaVictoriannovel.Theimportantmessageandoverallimpactofthebookisweakenedtothatextent.Ourpurpose,therefore,inthisrevisionistoclarifyandstrengthenthebookforamodernreaderwithouttamperingwiththecontent.Wehavenot“changed”HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopleexcepttomakeafewexcisionsandaddafewmorecontemporaryexamples.Thebrash,breezyCarnegiestyleisintact—eventhethirtiesslangisstillthere.DaleCarnegiewroteashespoke,inanintensivelyexuberant,colloquial,conversationalmanner.Sohisvoicestillspeaksasforcefullyasever,inthebookandinhiswork.ThousandsofpeopleallovertheworldarebeingtrainedinCarnegiecoursesinincreasingnumberseachyear.AndotherthousandsarereadingandstudyingHowtoWinFriendsandlnfluencePeopleandbeinginspiredtouseitsprinciplestobettertheirlives.Toallofthem,weofferthisrevisioninthespiritofthehoningandpolishingofafinelymadetool.–DorothyCarnegie(Mrs.DaleCarnegie)4HowThisBookWasWritten—AndWhyDuringthefirstthirty-fiveyearsofthetwentiethcentury,thepublishinghousesofAmericaprintedmorethanafifthofamilliondifferentbooks.Mostofthemweredeadlydull,andmanywerefinancialfailures.“Many,”didIsay?Thepresidentofoneofthelargestpublishinghousesintheworldconfessedtomethathiscompany,afterseventy-fiveyearsofpublishingexperience,stilllostmoneyonsevenoutofeveryeightbooksitpublished.Why,then,didIhavethetemeritytowriteanotherbook?And,afterIhadwrittenit,whyshouldyoubothertoreadit?Fairquestions,both;andI’lltrytoanswerthem.Ihave,since1912,beenconductingeducationalcoursesforbusinessandprofessionalmenandwomeninNewYork.Atfirst,Iconductedcoursesinpublicspeakingonly—coursesdesignedtotrainadults,byactualexperience,tothinkontheirfeetandexpresstheirideaswithmoreclarity,moreeffectivenessandmorepoise,bothinbusinessinterviewsandbeforegroups.Butgradually,astheseasonspassed,Irealizedthatassorelyastheseadultsneededtrainingineffectivespeaking,theyneededstillmoretraininginthefineartofgettingalongwithpeopleineverydaybusinessandsocialcontacts.IalsograduallyrealizedthatIwassorelyinneedofsuchtrainingmyself.AsIlookbackacrosstheyears,Iamappalledatmyownfrequentlackoffinesseandunderstanding.HowIwishabooksuchasthishadbeenplacedinmyhandstwentyyearsago!Whatapricelessboonitwouldhavebeen.Dealingwithpeopleisprobablythebiggestproblemyouface,especiallyifyouareinbusiness.Yes,andthatisalsotrueifyouareahousewife,architectorengineer.ResearchdoneafewyearsagoundertheauspicesoftheCarnegieFoundationfortheAdvancementofTeachinguncoveredamostimportantandsignificantfact—afactlaterconfirmedbyadditionalstudiesmadeattheCarnegieInstituteofTechnology.Theseinvestigationsrevealedthateveninsuchtechnicallinesasengineering,about15percentofone’sfinancialsuccessisduetoone’stechnicalknowledgeandabout85percentisduetoskillinhumanengineering,topersonalityandtheabilitytoleadpeople.Formanyyears,IconductedcourseseachseasonattheEngineers’ClubofPhiladelphia,andalsocoursesfortheNewYorkChapteroftheAmericanInstituteofElectricalEngineers.Atotalofprobablymorethanfifteenhundredengineershavepassedthroughmyclasses.Theycametomebecausetheyhadfinallyrealized,afteryearsofobservationandexperience,thatthehighest-paidpersonnelinengineeringarefrequentlynotthosewhoknowthemostaboutengineering.Onecanforexample,hiremeretechnicalabilityinengineering,accountancy,architectureoranyotherprofessionatnominalsalaries.Butthepersonwhohastechnicalknowledgeplustheabilitytoexpressideas,toassumeleadership,andtoarouseenthusiasmamongpeople—thatpersonisheadedforhigherearningpower.Intheheydayofhisactivity,JohnD.Rockefellersaidthat“theabilitytodealwithpeopleisaspurchasableacommodityassugarorcoffee.”“AndIwillpaymoreforthatability,”saidJohnD.,“thanforanyotherunderthesun.”Wouldn’tyousupposethateverycollegeinthelandwouldconductcoursestodevelopthehighest-pricedabilityunderthesun?Butifthereisjustonepractical,commonsensecourseofthatkindgivenforadultsinevenonecollegeintheland,ithasescapedmyattentionuptothepresentwriting.TheUniversityofChicagoandtheUnitedY.M.C.A.Schoolsconductedasurveytodeterminewhatadultswanttostudy.Thatsurveycost$25,000andtooktwoyears.ThelastpartofthesurveywasmadeinMeriden,Connecticut.IthadbeenchosenasatypicalAmericantown.EveryadultinMeridenwasinterviewedandrequestedtoanswer156questions—questionssuchas“Whatisyourbusinessorprofession?Youreducation?Howdoyouspendyoursparetime?Whatisyourincome?Yourhobbies?Yourambitions?Yourproblems?Whatsubjectsareyoumostinterestedinstudying?”Andsoon.Thatsurveyrevealedthathealthistheprime5interestofadultsandthattheirsecondinterestispeople;howtounderstandandgetalongwithpeople;howtomakepeoplelikeyou;andhowtowinotherstoyourwayofthinking.SothecommitteeconductingthissurveyresolvedtoconductsuchacourseforadultsinMeriden.Theysearcheddiligentlyforapracticaltextbookonthesubjectandfoundnotone.Finallytheyapproachedoneoftheworld’soutstandingauthoritiesonadulteducationandaskedhimifheknewofanybookthatmettheneedsofthisgroup.“No,”hereplied,"Iknowwhatthoseadultswant.Butthebooktheyneedhasneverbeenwritten.”Iknewfromexperiencethatthisstatementwastrue,forImyselfhadbeensearchingforyearstodiscoverapractical,workinghandbookonhumanrelations.Sincenosuchbookexisted,Ihavetriedtowriteoneforuseinmyowncourses.Andhereitis.Ihopeyoulikeit.Inpreparationforthisbook,IreadeverythingthatIcouldfindonthesubject—everythingfromnewspapercolumns,magazinearticles,recordsofthefamilycourts,thewritingsoftheoldphilosophersandthenewpsychologists.Inaddition,IhiredatrainedresearchertospendoneandahalfyearsinvariouslibrariesreadingeverythingIhadmissed,plowingthrougheruditetomesonpsychology,poringoverhundredsofmagazinearticles,searchingthroughcountlessbiographies,tryingtoascertainhowthegreatleadersofallageshaddealtwithpeople.Wereadtheirbiographies;wereadthelifestoriesofallgreatleadersfromJuliusCaesartoThomasEdison.IrecallthatwereadoveronehundredbiographiesofTheodoreRooseveltalone.Weweredeterminedtosparenotime,noexpense,todiscovereverypracticalideathatanyonehadeverusedthroughouttheagesforwinningfriendsandinfluencingpeople.Ipersonallyinterviewedscoresofsuccessfulpeople,someofthemworld-famousinventorslikeMarconiandEdison;politicalleaderslikeFranklinD.RooseveltandJamesFarley;businessleaderslikeOwenD.Young;moviestarslikeClarkGableandMaryPickford,andexplorerslikeMartinJohnson,andtriedtodiscoverthetechniquestheyusedinhumanrelations.Fromallthismaterial,Ipreparedashorttalk.Icalledit“HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeople”.Isay“short.”Itwasshortinthebeginning,butitsoonexpandedtoalecturethatconsumedonehourandthirtyminutes.Foryears,IgavethistalkeachseasontotheadultsintheCarnegieInstitutecoursesinNewYork.Igavethetalkandurgedthelistenerstogooutandtestitintheirbusinessandsocialcontacts,andthencomebacktoclassandspeakabouttheirexperiencesandtheresultstheyhadachieved.Whataninterestingassignment!Thesemenandwomen,hungryforself-improvement,werefascinatedbytheideaofworkinginanewkindoflaboratory—thefirstandonlylaboratoryofhumanrelationshipsforadultsthathadeverexisted.Thisbookwasn’twrittenintheusualsenseoftheword.Itgrewasachildgrows.Itgrewanddevelopedoutofthatlaboratory,outoftheexperiencesofthousandsofadults.Yearsago,westartedwithasetofrulesprintedonacardnolargerthanapostcard.Thenextseasonweprintedalargercard,thenaleaflet,thenaseriesofbooklets,eachoneexpandinginsizeandscope.Afterfifteenyearsofexperimentandresearchcamethisbook.Theruleswehavesetdownherearenotmeretheoriesorguesswork.Theyworklikemagic.Incredibleasitsounds,Ihaveseentheapplicationoftheseprinciplesliterallyrevolutionizethelivesofmanypeople.Toillustrate:Amanwith314employeesjoinedoneofthesecourses.Foryears,hehaddrivenandcriticizedandcondemnedhisemployeeswithoutstintordiscretion.Kindness,wordsofappreciationandencouragementwerealientohislips.Afterstudyingtheprinciplesdiscussedinthisbook,thisemployersharplyalteredhisphilosophyoflife.Hisorganizationisnowinspiredwithanewloyalty,anewenthusiasm,anewspiritofteamwork.Threehundredandfourteenenemieshavebeenturnedinto314friends.Asheproudlysaidinaspeechbeforetheclass:“WhenIusedtowalkthroughmyestablishment,noonegreetedme.Myemployeesactuallylookedtheotherwaywhentheysawmeapproaching.Butnowtheyareallmyfriendsandeventhejanitorcallsmebymyfirstname.”Thisemployergainedmoreprofit,moreleisureand—whatisinfinitelymoreimportant—hefoundfarmorehappinessinhisbusinessandinhishome.6Countlessnumbersofsalespeoplehavesharplyincreasedtheirsalesbytheuseoftheseprinciples.Manyhaveopenedupnewaccounts—accountsthattheyhadformerlysolicitedinvain.Executiveshavebeengivenincreasedauthority,increasedpay.Oneexecutivereportedalargeincreaseinsalarybecauseheappliedthesetruths.Another,anexecutiveinthePhiladelphiaGasWorksCompany,wasslatedfordemotionwhenhewassixty-fivebecauseofhisbelligerence,becauseofhisinabilitytoleadpeopleskillfully.Thistrainingnotonlysavedhimfromthedemotionbutbroughthimapromotionwithincreasedpay.Oninnumerableoccasions,spousesattendingthebanquetgivenattheendofthecoursehavetoldmethattheirhomeshavebeenmuchhappiersincetheirhusbandsorwivesstartedthistraining.Peoplearefrequentlyastonishedatthenewresultstheyachieve.Itallseemslikemagic.Insomecases,intheirenthusiasm,theyhavetelephonedmeatmyhomeonSundaysbecausetheycouldn’twaitforty-eighthourstoreporttheirachievementsattheregularsessionofthecourse.Onemanwassostirredbyatalkontheseprinciplesthathesatfarintothenightdiscussingthemwithothermembersoftheclass.Atthreeo’clockinthemorning,theotherswenthome.Buthewassoshakenbyarealizationofhisownmistakes,soinspiredbythevistaofanewandricherworldopeningbeforehim,thathewasunabletosleep.Hedidn’tsleepthatnightorthenextdayorthenextnight.Whowashe?Anaive,untrainedindividualreadytogushoveranynewtheorythatcamealong?No,farfromit.Hewasasophisticated,blasédealerinart,verymuchthemanabouttown,whospokethreelanguagesfluentlyandwasagraduateoftwoEuropeanuniversities.Whilewritingthischapter,IreceivedaletterfromaGermanoftheoldschool,anaristocratwhoseforebearshadservedforgenerationsasprofessionalarmyofficersundertheHohenzollerns.Hisletter,writtenfromatransatlanticsteamer,tellingabouttheapplicationoftheseprinciples,rosealmosttoareligiousfervor.Anotherman,anoldNewYorker,aHarvardgraduate,awealthyman,theownerofalargecarpetfactory,declaredhehadlearnedmoreinfourteenweeksthroughthissystemoftrainingaboutthefineartofinfluencingpeoplethanhehadlearnedaboutthesamesubjectduringhisfouryearsincollege.Absurd?Laughable?Fantastic?Ofcourse,youareprivilegedtodismissthisstatementwithwhateveradjectiveyouwish.Iammerelyreporting,withoutcomment,adeclarationmadebyaconservativeandeminentlysuccessfulHarvardgraduateinapublicaddresstoapproximatelysixhundredpeopleattheYaleClubinNewYorkontheeveningofThursday,February23,1933.“Comparedtowhatweoughttobe,”saidthefamousProfessorWilliamJamesofHarvard,“comparedtowhatweoughttobe,weareonlyhalfawake.Wearemakinguseofonlyasmallpartof

how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf

how-to-win-friends-and-influenc…

上传者: 读书天一阁
885次下载 0人收藏 暂无简介 简介 2010-07-29 举报

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HowToWinFriends&InfluencePeopleREVISEDEDITIONDALECARNEGIEEditorialConsultant:DorothyCarnegieEditorialAssistance:ArthurR.Pell,Ph.D.SIMONANDSCHUSTERNEWYORKCopyright1936byDaleCarnegie,copyrightrenewed1964byDonnaDaleCarnegieandDorothyCarnegieRevisedEditioncopyright1981byDonnaDaleCarnegieandDorothyCarnegieAllrightsreservedincludingtherightofreproductioninwholeorinpartinanyformPublishedbySimonandSchusterADivisionofGulf&WesternCorporationSimon&SchusterBuildingRockefellerCenter1230AvenueoftheAmericasNewYork,NewYork10020SIMONANDSCHUSTERandcolophonaretrademarksofSimon&SchusterDesignedbyStanleyS.DrateManufacturedintheUnitedStatesofAmerica17192018LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationDataCarnegie,Dale,1888-1955.Howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople.Includesindex.1.Success.I.Title.BF637.S8C371981158’.180-28759ISBNO-671-42517-XEIGHTTHINGSTHISBOOKWILLHELPYOUACHIEVE1.Getoutofamentalrut,thinknewthoughts,acquirenewvisions,discovernewambitions.2.Makefriendsquicklyandeasily.3.Increaseyourpopularity.4.Winpeopletoyourwayofthinking.5.Increaseyourinfluence,yourprestige,yourabilitytogetthingsdone.6.Handlecomplaints,avoidarguments,keepyourhumancontactssmoothandpleasant.7.Becomeabetterspeaker,amoreentertainingconversationalist.8.Arouseenthusiasmamongyourassociates.Thisbookhasdoneallthesethingsformorethantenmillionreadersinthirty-sixlanguages.ThisBookIsDedicatedtoaManWhoDoesn’tNeedtoReadIt:MyCherishedFriendHOMERCROY1ContentPrefaceToRevisedEdition………………………………………………………………..4HowTheBookWasWritten—AndWhy………………………………………….……...5NineSuggestionsOnHowToGetTheBestOfThisBook………………………………8PartOne:FundamentalTechniquesInHandlingPeople1:Ifyouwanttogatherhoney,don'tkickoverthebeehive.……………………………...112:Thebigsecretofdealingwithpeople………………………….……………………….183:Hewhocandothishasthewholeworldwithhim.Hewhocannotwalksalonelyway24PartTwo:SixWaysToMakePeopleLikeYou4:Dothisandyou'llbewelcomeanywhere………………….…………………………...345:Asimplewaytomakeagoodimpression……………………………………………...406:Ifyoudon'tdothis,youareheadedfortrouble…………………………………….…..447:Aneasywaytobecomeagoodconversationalist………………………………………488:Howtointerestpeople………………………………………………………………….539:Howtomakepeoplelikeyouinstantly.…………………………………………….…..56PartThree:HowToWinPeopleToYourWayOfThinking10:Youcan’twinanargument……………………………………………………………6311:Asurewayofmakingenemies—andhowtoavoidit………………………………...6712:Ifyou'rewrong,admitit……………………………….………………………………7213:Adropofhoney……………………………………………………..………………...7614:ThesecretofSocrates……………………………………………………….………...8015:Thesafetyvalveinhandlingcomplaints…………………….………………………..8316:HowToGetCooperation……………………………………………………………...8617:Aformulathatwillworkwondersforyou.………………………….………………..8918:Whateverybodywants………………………………………………………………...92219:Anappealthateverybodylikes………………………………………………………..9620:Themoviesdoit.TVdoesit.Whydon'tyoudoit?………………………….……….9921:Whennothingelseworks,trythis……………………………………………….…….102Part4:BeALeader:HowToChangePeopleWithoutGivingOffenceOrArousingResentment22:Ifyoumustfindfault,thisisthewaytobegin………………………………………..10623:Howtocriticize—andnotbehatedforit…………………………….………………..10924:Atalkaboutyourownmistakesfirst………………………………………………….11125:Noonelikestotakeorders.…………………………………………………………...11426:Lettheotherpersonsaveface…………………………………………………………11627:Howtospurpeopleontosuccess……………………………….…………………….11828:Giveadogagoodname……………………………………………………………….12129:Makethefaultseemeasytocorrect.…………………………………………………..12330:Makingpeoplegladtodowhatyouwant……………………………………………..125AShortcutToDistinction………………………………………………………….……...1283PrefaceToRevisedEditionHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplewasfirstpublishedin1937inaneditionofonlyfivethousandcopies.NeitherDaleCarnegienorthepublishers,SimonandSchuster,anticipatedmorethanthismodestsale.Totheiramazement,thebookbecameanovernightsensation,andeditionaftereditionrolledoffthepressestokeepupwiththeincreasingpublicdemand.HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopletookitsplaceinpublishinghistoryasoneoftheall-timeinternationalbestsellers.Ittouchedanerveandfilledahumanneedthatwasmorethanafaddishphenomenonofpost-Depressiondays,asevidencedbyitscontinuedanduninterruptedsalesintotheeighties,almosthalfacenturylater.DaleCarnegieusedtosaythatitwaseasiertomakeamilliondollarsthantoputaphraseintotheEnglishlanguage.HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplebecamesuchaphrase,quoted,paraphrased,parodied,usedininnumerablecontextsfrompoliticalcartoontonovels.Thebookitselfwastranslatedintoalmosteveryknownwrittenlanguage.Eachgenerationhasdiscovereditanewandhasfounditrelevant.Whichbringsustothelogicalquestion:Whyreviseabookthathasprovenandcontinuestoproveitsvigorousanduniversalappeal?Whytamperwithsuccess?Toanswerthat,wemustrealizethatDaleCarnegiehimselfwasatirelessreviserofhisownworkduringhislifetime.HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeoplewaswrittentobeusedasatextbookforhiscoursesinEffectiveSpeakingandHumanRelationsandisstillusedinthosecoursestoday.Untilhisdeathin1955heconstantlyimprovedandrevisedthecourseitselftomakeitapplicabletotheevolvingneedsofanever-growingpublic.Noonewasmoresensitivetothechangingcurrentsofpresent-daylifethanDaleCarnegie.Heconstantlyimprovedandrefinedhismethodsofteaching;heupdatedhisbookonEffectiveSpeakingseveraltimes.Hadhelivedlonger,hehimselfwouldhaverevisedHowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopletobetterreflectthechangesthathavetakenplaceintheworldsincethethirties.Manyofthenamesofprominentpeopleinthebook,wellknownatthetimeoffirstpublication,arenolongerrecognizedbymanyoftoday’sreaders.CertainexamplesandphrasesseemasquaintanddatedinoursocialclimateasthoseinaVictoriannovel.Theimportantmessageandoverallimpactofthebookisweakenedtothatextent.Ourpurpose,therefore,inthisrevisionistoclarifyandstrengthenthebookforamodernreaderwithouttamperingwiththecontent.Wehavenot“changed”HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeopleexcepttomakeafewexcisionsandaddafewmorecontemporaryexamples.Thebrash,breezyCarnegiestyleisintact—eventhethirtiesslangisstillthere.DaleCarnegiewroteashespoke,inanintensivelyexuberant,colloquial,conversationalmanner.Sohisvoicestillspeaksasforcefullyasever,inthebookandinhiswork.ThousandsofpeopleallovertheworldarebeingtrainedinCarnegiecoursesinincreasingnumberseachyear.AndotherthousandsarereadingandstudyingHowtoWinFriendsandlnfluencePeopleandbeinginspiredtouseitsprinciplestobettertheirlives.Toallofthem,weofferthisrevisioninthespiritofthehoningandpolishingofafinelymadetool.–DorothyCarnegie(Mrs.DaleCarnegie)4HowThisBookWasWritten—AndWhyDuringthefirstthirty-fiveyearsofthetwentiethcentury,thepublishinghousesofAmericaprintedmorethanafifthofamilliondifferentbooks.Mostofthemweredeadlydull,andmanywerefinancialfailures.“Many,”didIsay?Thepresidentofoneofthelargestpublishinghousesintheworldconfessedtomethathiscompany,afterseventy-fiveyearsofpublishingexperience,stilllostmoneyonsevenoutofeveryeightbooksitpublished.Why,then,didIhavethetemeritytowriteanotherbook?And,afterIhadwrittenit,whyshouldyoubothertoreadit?Fairquestions,both;andI’lltrytoanswerthem.Ihave,since1912,beenconductingeducationalcoursesforbusinessandprofessionalmenandwomeninNewYork.Atfirst,Iconductedcoursesinpublicspeakingonly—coursesdesignedtotrainadults,byactualexperience,tothinkontheirfeetandexpresstheirideaswithmoreclarity,moreeffectivenessandmorepoise,bothinbusinessinterviewsandbeforegroups.Butgradually,astheseasonspassed,Irealizedthatassorelyastheseadultsneededtrainingineffectivespeaking,theyneededstillmoretraininginthefineartofgettingalongwithpeopleineverydaybusinessandsocialcontacts.IalsograduallyrealizedthatIwassorelyinneedofsuchtrainingmyself.AsIlookbackacrosstheyears,Iamappalledatmyownfrequentlackoffinesseandunderstanding.HowIwishabooksuchasthishadbeenplacedinmyhandstwentyyearsago!Whatapricelessboonitwouldhavebeen.Dealingwithpeopleisprobablythebiggestproblemyouface,especiallyifyouareinbusiness.Yes,andthatisalsotrueifyouareahousewife,architectorengineer.ResearchdoneafewyearsagoundertheauspicesoftheCarnegieFoundationfortheAdvancementofTeachinguncoveredamostimportantandsignificantfact—afactlaterconfirmedbyadditionalstudiesmadeattheCarnegieInstituteofTechnology.Theseinvestigationsrevealedthateveninsuchtechnicallinesasengineering,about15percentofone’sfinancialsuccessisduetoone’stechnicalknowledgeandabout85percentisduetoskillinhumanengineering,topersonalityandtheabilitytoleadpeople.Formanyyears,IconductedcourseseachseasonattheEngineers’ClubofPhiladelphia,andalsocoursesfortheNewYorkChapteroftheAmericanInstituteofElectricalEngineers.Atotalofprobablymorethanfifteenhundredengineershavepassedthroughmyclasses.Theycametomebecausetheyhadfinallyrealized,afteryearsofobservationandexperience,thatthehighest-paidpersonnelinengineeringarefrequentlynotthosewhoknowthemostaboutengineering.Onecanforexample,hiremeretechnicalabilityinengineering,accountancy,architectureoranyotherprofessionatnominalsalaries.Butthepersonwhohastechnicalknowledgeplustheabilitytoexpressideas,toassumeleadership,andtoarouseenthusiasmamongpeople—thatpersonisheadedforhigherearningpower.Intheheydayofhisactivity,JohnD.Rockefellersaidthat“theabilitytodealwithpeopleisaspurchasableacommodityassugarorcoffee.”“AndIwillpaymoreforthatability,”saidJohnD.,“thanforanyotherunderthesun.”Wouldn’tyousupposethateverycollegeinthelandwouldconductcoursestodevelopthehighest-pricedabilityunderthesun?Butifthereisjustonepractical,commonsensecourseofthatkindgivenforadultsinevenonecollegeintheland,ithasescapedmyattentionuptothepresentwriting.TheUniversityofChicagoandtheUnitedY.M.C.A.Schoolsconductedasurveytodeterminewhatadultswanttostudy.Thatsurveycost$25,000andtooktwoyears.ThelastpartofthesurveywasmadeinMeriden,Connecticut.IthadbeenchosenasatypicalAmericantown.EveryadultinMeridenwasinterviewedandrequestedtoanswer156questions—questionssuchas“Whatisyourbusinessorprofession?Youreducation?Howdoyouspendyoursparetime?Whatisyourincome?Yourhobbies?Yourambitions?Yourproblems?Whatsubjectsareyoumostinterestedinstudying?”Andsoon.Thatsurveyrevealedthathealthistheprime5interestofadultsandthattheirsecondinterestispeople;howtounderstandandgetalongwithpeople;howtomakepeoplelikeyou;andhowtowinotherstoyourwayofthinking.SothecommitteeconductingthissurveyresolvedtoconductsuchacourseforadultsinMeriden.Theysearcheddiligentlyforapracticaltextbookonthesubjectandfoundnotone.Finallytheyapproachedoneoftheworld’soutstandingauthoritiesonadulteducationandaskedhimifheknewofanybookthatmettheneedsofthisgroup.“No,”hereplied,"Iknowwhatthoseadultswant.Butthebooktheyneedhasneverbeenwritten.”Iknewfromexperiencethatthisstatementwastrue,forImyselfhadbeensearchingforyearstodiscoverapractical,workinghandbookonhumanrelations.Sincenosuchbookexisted,Ihavetriedtowriteoneforuseinmyowncourses.Andhereitis.Ihopeyoulikeit.Inpreparationforthisbook,IreadeverythingthatIcouldfindonthesubject—everythingfromnewspapercolumns,magazinearticles,recordsofthefamilycourts,thewritingsoftheoldphilosophersandthenewpsychologists.Inaddition,IhiredatrainedresearchertospendoneandahalfyearsinvariouslibrariesreadingeverythingIhadmissed,plowingthrougheruditetomesonpsychology,poringoverhundredsofmagazinearticles,searchingthroughcountlessbiographies,tryingtoascertainhowthegreatleadersofallageshaddealtwithpeople.Wereadtheirbiographies;wereadthelifestoriesofallgreatleadersfromJuliusCaesartoThomasEdison.IrecallthatwereadoveronehundredbiographiesofTheodoreRooseveltalone.Weweredeterminedtosparenotime,noexpense,todiscovereverypracticalideathatanyonehadeverusedthroughouttheagesforwinningfriendsandinfluencingpeople.Ipersonallyinterviewedscoresofsuccessfulpeople,someofthemworld-famousinventorslikeMarconiandEdison;politicalleaderslikeFranklinD.RooseveltandJamesFarley;businessleaderslikeOwenD.Young;moviestarslikeClarkGableandMaryPickford,andexplorerslikeMartinJohnson,andtriedtodiscoverthetechniquestheyusedinhumanrelations.Fromallthismaterial,Ipreparedashorttalk.Icalledit“HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeople”.Isay“short.”Itwasshortinthebeginning,butitsoonexpandedtoalecturethatconsumedonehourandthirtyminutes.Foryears,IgavethistalkeachseasontotheadultsintheCarnegieInstitutecoursesinNewYork.Igavethetalkandurgedthelistenerstogooutandtestitintheirbusinessandsocialcontacts,andthencomebacktoclassandspeakabouttheirexperiencesandtheresultstheyhadachieved.Whataninterestingassignment!Thesemenandwomen,hungryforself-improvement,werefascinatedbytheideaofworkinginanewkindoflaboratory—thefirstandonlylaboratoryofhumanrelationshipsforadultsthathadeverexisted.Thisbookwasn’twrittenintheusualsenseoftheword.Itgrewasachildgrows.Itgrewanddevelopedoutofthatlaboratory,outoftheexperiencesofthousandsofadults.Yearsago,westartedwithasetofrulesprintedonacardnolargerthanapostcard.Thenextseasonweprintedalargercard,thenaleaflet,thenaseriesofbooklets,eachoneexpandinginsizeandscope.Afterfifteenyearsofexperimentandresearchcamethisbook.Theruleswehavesetdownherearenotmeretheoriesorguesswork.Theyworklikemagic.Incredibleasitsounds,Ihaveseentheapplicationoftheseprinciplesliterallyrevolutionizethelivesofmanypeople.Toillustrate:Amanwith314employeesjoinedoneofthesecourses.Foryears,hehaddrivenandcriticizedandcondemnedhisemployeeswithoutstintordiscretion.Kindness,wordsofappreciationandencouragementwerealientohislips.Afterstudyingtheprinciplesdiscussedinthisbook,thisemployersharplyalteredhisphilosophyoflife.Hisorganizationisnowinspiredwithanewloyalty,anewenthusiasm,anewspiritofteamwork.Threehundredandfourteenenemieshavebeenturnedinto314friends.Asheproudlysaidinaspeechbeforetheclass:“WhenIusedtowalkthroughmyestablishment,noonegreetedme.Myemployeesactuallylookedtheotherwaywhentheysawmeapproaching.Butnowtheyareallmyfriendsandeventhejanitorcallsmebymyfirstname.”Thisemployergainedmoreprofit,moreleisureand—whatisinfinitelymoreimportant—hefoundfarmorehappinessinhisbusinessandinhishome.6Countlessnumbersofsalespeoplehavesharplyincreasedtheirsalesbytheuseoftheseprinciples.Manyhaveopenedupnewaccounts—accountsthattheyhadformerlysolicitedinvain.Executiveshavebeengivenincreasedauthority,increasedpay.Oneexecutivereportedalargeincreaseinsalarybecauseheappliedthesetruths.Another,anexecutiveinthePhiladelphiaGasWorksCompany,wasslatedfordemotionwhenhewassixty-fivebecauseofhisbelligerence,becauseofhisinabilitytoleadpeopleskillfully.Thistrainingnotonlysavedhimfromthedemotionbutbroughthimapromotionwithincreasedpay.Oninnumerableoccasions,spousesattendingthebanquetgivenattheendofthecoursehavetoldmethattheirhomeshavebeenmuchhappiersincetheirhusbandsorwivesstartedthistraining.Peoplearefrequentlyastonishedatthenewresultstheyachieve.Itallseemslikemagic.Insomecases,intheirenthusiasm,theyhavetelephonedmeatmyhomeonSundaysbecausetheycouldn’twaitforty-eighthourstoreporttheirachievementsattheregularsessionofthecourse.Onemanwassostirredbyatalkontheseprinciplesthathesatfarintothenightdiscussingthemwithothermembersoftheclass.Atthreeo’clockinthemorning,theotherswenthome.Buthewassoshakenbyarealizationofhisownmistakes,soinspiredbythevistaofanewandricherworldopeningbeforehim,thathewasunabletosleep.Hedidn’tsleepthatnightorthenextdayorthenextnight.Whowashe?Anaive,untrainedindividualreadytogushoveranynewtheorythatcamealong?No,farfromit.Hewasasophisticated,blasédealerinart,verymuchthemanabouttown,whospokethreelanguagesfluentlyandwasagraduateoftwoEuropeanuniversities.Whilewritingthischapter,IreceivedaletterfromaGermanoftheoldschool,anaristocratwhoseforebearshadservedforgenerationsasprofessionalarmyofficersundertheHohenzollerns.Hisletter,writtenfromatransatlanticsteamer,tellingabouttheapplicationoftheseprinciples,rosealmosttoareligiousfervor.Anotherman,anoldNewYorker,aHarvardgraduate,awealthyman,theownerofalargecarpetfactory,declaredhehadlearnedmoreinfourteenweeksthroughthissystemoftrainingaboutthefineartofinfluencingpeoplethanhehadlearnedaboutthesamesubjectduringhisfouryearsincollege.Absurd?Laughable?Fantastic?Ofcourse,youareprivilegedtodismissthisstatementwithwhateveradjectiveyouwish.Iammerelyreporting,withoutcomment,adeclarationmadebyaconservativeandeminentlysuccessfulHarvardgraduateinapublicaddresstoapproximatelysixhundredpeopleattheYaleClubinNewYorkontheeveningofThursday,February23,1933.“Comparedtowhatweoughttobe,”saidthefamousProfessorWilliamJamesofHarvard,“comparedtowhatweoughttobe,weareonlyhalfawake.Wearemakinguseofonlyasmallpartof
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