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首页 老友记第一季第一集剧本

老友记第一季第一集剧本

老友记第一季第一集剧本

大明天子
2009-03-21 0人阅读 举报 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《老友记第一季第一集剧本pdf》,可适用于外语资料领域

TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommateScene:Scene:Scene:Scene:CentralCentralCentralCentralPerk,Perk,Perk,Perk,Chandler,Chandler,Chandler,Chandler,Joey,Joey,Joey,Joey,Phoebe,Phoebe,Phoebe,Phoebe,andandandandMonicaMonicaMonicaMonicaarearearearetheretheretherethereMonica:There'snothingtotell!It'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!Joey:C'mon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!Chandler:AllrightJoey,beniceSodoeshehaveahumpAhumpandahairpiecePhoebe:Wait,doesheeatchalk(Theyallstare,bemused)Phoebe:Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarloh!Monica:Okay,everybodyrelaxThisisnotevenadateIt'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerandnothavingsexChandler:SoundslikeadatetomeTimeTimeTimeTimeLapseLapseLapseLapseChandler:Alright,soI'mbackinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,andIrealizeIamtotallynakedAll:Oh,yeahHadthatdreamChandler:ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphonethereJoey:InsteadofChandler:That'srightJoey:NeverhadthatdreamPhoebe:NoChandler:Allofasudden,thephonestartstoringNowIdon'tknowwhattodo,everybodystartslookingatmeMonica:Andtheyweren'tlookingatyoubefore!Chandler:Finally,IfigureI'dbetteranswerit,anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisveryveryweird,becauseshenevercallsme!TimeTimeTimeTimeLapse,Lapse,Lapse,Lapse,RossRossRossRosshashashashasenteredenteredenteredenteredRoss:(mortified)HiJoey:Thisguysayshello,IwannakillmyselfMonica:Areyouokay,sweetieRoss:Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneckChandler:CookieMonica:(explainingtotheothers)CarolmovedherstuffouttodayJoey:OhhMonica:(toRoss)LetmegetyousomecoffeeRoss:ThanksPhoebe:Ooh!Oh!(ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss)Ross:No,nodon't!Stopcleansingmyaura!No,justleavemyauraalone,okayPhoebe:Fine!Bemurky!Ross:I'llbefine,alrightReally,everyoneIhopeshe'llbeveryhappyMonica:Noyoudon'tRoss:NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!Joey:AndyouneverknewshewasalesbianRoss:No!!Okay!WhydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthatShedidn'tknow,howshouldIknowChandler:SometimesIwishIwasalesbian(Theyallstareathim)DidIsaythatoutloudRoss:Itoldmomanddadlastnight,theyseemedtotakeitprettywellMonica:Ohreally,sothathystericalphonecallIgotfromawomanatsobbing:AM,"I'llneverhavegrandchildren,I'llneverhavegrandchildren"waswhatAwrongnumberRoss:SorryJoey:AlrightRoss,lookYou'refeelingalotofpainrightnowYou'reangryYou'rehurtingCanItellyouwhattheansweris(Rossgestureshisconsent)Joey:Stripjoint!C'mon,you'resingle!Havesomehormones!Ross:Idon'twanttobesingle,okayIjustIjustIjustwannabemarriedagain!(Rachelentersinawetweddingdressandstartstosearchtheroom)Chandler:AndIjustwantamilliondollars!(Heextendshishandhopefully)Monica:Rachel!Rachel:OhGodMonicahi!ThankGod!Ijustwenttoyourbuildingandyouweren'tthereandthenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumightbehereandyouare,youare!Waitress:CanIgetyousomecoffeeMonica:(pointingatRachel)Decafe(toAll)Okay,everybody,thisisRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor(toRachel)Thisiseverybody,thisisChandler,andPhoebe,andJoey,andyouremembermybrotherRossRachel:Hi,sure!Ross:Hi(TheygotohugbutRoss'sumbrellaopensHesitsbackdowndefeatedagainAmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitsandtheothersexpecthertoexplain)Monica:Soyouwannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforfourwetbridesmaidsRachel:OhGodwell,itstartedaboutahalfhourbeforetheweddingIwasintheroomwherewewerekeepingallthepresents,andIwaslookingatthisgravyboatThisreallygorgeousLamaugegravyboatWhenallofasudden(tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee)Sweet'n'LowIrealizedthatIwasmoreturnedonbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry!AndthenIgotreallyfreakedout,andthat'swhenithitme:howmuchBarrylookslikeMrPotatoHeadYouknow,Imean,Ialwaysknewlookedfamiliar,butAnyway,Ijusthadtogetoutofthere,andIstartedwondering'WhyamIdoingthis,andwhoamIdoingthisfor'(toMonica)SoanywayIjustdidn'tknowwheretogo,andIknowthatyouandIhavekindadriftedapart,butyou'retheonlypersonIknewwholivedhereinthecityMonica:Whowasn'tinvitedtotheweddingRachel:Ooh,Iwaskindahopingthatwouldn'tbeanissueScene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Monica'sMonica'sMonica'sMonica'sApartment,Apartment,Apartment,Apartment,everyoneeveryoneeveryoneeveryoneisisisistheretheretherethereandandandandwatchingwatchingwatchingwatchingaaaaSpanishSpanishSpanishSpanishSoapSoapSoapSoapononononTVTVTVTVandandandandarearearearetryingtryingtryingtryingtotototofigurefigurefigurefigureoutoutoutoutwhatwhatwhatwhatisisisisgoinggoinggoinggoingononononMonica:NowI'mguessingthatheboughtherthebigpipeorgan,andshe'sreallynothappyaboutitChandler:(imitatingthecharacters)TunaoreggsaladDecide!Ross:(inadeepvoice)I'llhavewhateverChristineishavingRachel:(onphone)Daddy,IjustIcan'tmarryhim!I'msorryIjustdon'tlovehimWell,itmatterstome!(ThesceneonTVhaschangedtoshowtwowomen,oneisholdingherhair)Phoebe:IfIletgoofmyhair,myheadwillfalloffChandler:Ooh,sheshouldnotbewearingthosepantsJoey:IsaypushherdownthestairsPhoebe,Ross,Chandler,andJoey:Pushherdownthestairs!Pushherdownthestairs!Pushherdownthestairs!(Sheispusheddownthestairsandeveryonecheers)Rachel:C'monDaddy,listentome!It'slike,it'slike,allofmylife,everyonehasalwaystoldme,'You'reashoe!You'reashoe,you'reashoe,you'reashoe!'AndtodayIjuststoppedandIsaid,'WhatifIdon'twannabeashoeWhatifIwannabeaapurse,youknowOraorahat!No,I'mnotsayingIwantyoutobuymeahat,I'msayingIamahaIt'sametaphor,Daddy!Ross:Youcanseewherehe'dhavetroubleRachel:LookDaddy,it'smylifeWellmaybeI'lljuststayherewithMonicaMonica:Well,Iguesswe'veestablishedwho'sstayingherewithMonicaRachel:Well,maybethat'smydecisionWell,maybeIdon'tneedyourmoneyWait!!Wait,Isaidmaybe!!TimeTimeTimeTimeLapse,Lapse,Lapse,Lapse,RachelRachelRachelRachelisisisisbreathingbreathingbreathingbreathingintointointointoaaaapaperpaperpaperpaperbagbagbagbagMonica:Justbreathe,breathethat'sitJusttrytothinkofnicecalmthingsPhoebe:(sings)Raindropsonrosesandrabbitsandkittens,(RachelandMonicaturntolookather)bluebellsandsleighbellsandsomethingwithmittensLalalalasomethingandnoodleswithstringTheseareafewRachel:I'mallbetternowPhoebe:(grinsandwalkstothekitchenandsaystoChandlerandJoey)Ihelped!Monica:Okay,look,thisisprobablyforthebest,youknowIndependenceTakingcontrolofyourlifeThewhole,'hat'thingJoey:(comfortingher)Andhey,youneedanything,youcanalwayscometoJoeyMeandChandlerliveacrossthehallAndhe'sawayalotMonica:Joey,stophittingonher!It'sherweddingday!Joey:What,likethere'saruleorsomething(ThedoorbuzzersoundsandChandlergetsit)Chandler:Pleasedon'tdothatagain,it'sahorriblesoundPaul:(overtheintercom)It's,uh,it'sPaulMonica:OhGod,isit:Buzzhimin!Joey:Who'sPaulRoss:PaultheWineGuy,PaulMonica:MaybeJoey:WaitYour'notarealdate'tonightiswithPaultheWineGuyRoss:HefinallyaskedyououtMonica:Yes!Chandler:Ooh,thisisaDearDiarymomentMonica:Rach,wait,IcancancelRachel:Please,no,go,that'dbefine!Monica:(toRoss)Are,areyouokayImean,doyouwantmetostayRoss:(chokedvoice)That'dbegoodMonica:(horrified)ReallyRoss:(normalvoice)No,goon!It'sPaultheWineGuy!Phoebe:WhatdoesthatmeanDoeshesellit,drinkit,orjustcomplainalot(Chandlerdoesn'tknow)(There'saknockonthedoorandit'sPaul)Monica:Hi,comein!Paul,thisis(Theyarealllinedupnexttothedoor)everybody,everybody,thisisPaulAll:Hey!Paul!Hi!TheWineGuy!Hey!Chandler:I'msorry,Ididn'tcatchyournamePaul,wasitMonica:Okay,ummumm,I'lljustI'llberightback,Ijustgottagoah,goahRoss:AwanderingMonica:Change!Okay,sitdown(ShowsPaulin)TwosecondsPhoebe:Ooh,IjustpulledoutfoureyelashesThatcan'tbegood(Monicagoestochange)Joey:Hey,Paul!Paul:YeahJoey:Here'salittletip,shereallylikesitwhenyourubherneckinthesamespotoverandoverandoveragainuntilitstartstogetalittleredMonica:(yellingfromthebedroom)Shutup,Joey!Ross:SoRachel,what'reyou,uhwhat'reyouuptotonightRachel:Well,IwaskindasupposedtobeheadedforArubaonmyhoneymoon,sonothing!Ross:Right,you'renotevengettingyourhoneymoon,GodNo,no,although,Aruba,thistimeofyeartalkaboutyour(thinks)biglizardsAnyway,ifyoudon'tfeellikebeingalonetonight,JoeyandChandlerarecomingovertohelpmeputtogethermynewfurnitureChandler:(deadpan)Yes,andwe'reveryexcitedaboutitRachel:Wellactuallythanks,butIthinkI'mjustgonnahangoutheretonightIt'sbeenkindaalongdayRoss:Okay,sureJoey:HeyPheebs,youwannahelpPhoebe:Oh,IwishIcould,butIdon'twanttoCommercialBreakScene:Scene:Scene:Scene:TheTheTheTheSubway,Subway,Subway,Subway,PhoebePhoebePhoebePhoebeisisisissingingsingingsingingsingingforforforforchangechangechangechangePhoebe:(singing)Loveissweetassummershowers,loveisawondrousworkofart,butyourloveohyourlove,yourloveislikeagiantpigeoncrappingonmyheartLalalalala(someguygiveshersomechangeandtothatguy)Thankyou(sings)Lalalalaohhh!Scene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Ross'sRoss'sRoss'sRoss'sApartment,Apartment,Apartment,Apartment,thethethetheguysguysguysguysarearearearetheretheretherethereassemblingassemblingassemblingassemblingfurniturefurniturefurniturefurnitureRoss:(squattingandreadingtheinstructions)I'msupposedtoattachabracketythingtothesidethings,usingabunchoftheselittlewormguysIhavenobracketything,IseenowhimguyswhatsoeverandIcannotfeelmylegs(JoeyandChandlerarefinishingassemblingthebookcase)Joey:I'mthinkingwe'vegotabookcasehereChandler:It'sabeautifulthingJoey:(pickingupaleftoverpart)What'sthisChandler:Iwouldhavetosaythatisan'L'shapedbracketJoey:WhichgoeswhereChandler:Ihavenoidea(JoeychecksthatRossisnotlookinganddumpsitinaplant)Joey:Donewiththebookcase!Chandler:Allfinished!Ross:(clutchingabeercanandsniffing)ThiswasCarol'sfavoritebeerShealwaysdrankitoutofthecan,IshouldhaveknownJoey:Heyheyheyhey,ifyou'regonnastartwiththatstuffwe'reouttahereChandler:Yes,pleasedon'tspoilallthisfunJoey:Ross,letmeaskyouaquestionShegotthefurniture,thestereo,thegoodTVwhatdidyougetRoss:YouguysChandler:Oh,GodJoey:YougotscrewedChandler:OhmyGod!Scene:Scene:Scene:Scene:AAAARestaurant,Restaurant,Restaurant,Restaurant,MonicaMonicaMonicaMonicaandandandandPaulPaulPaulPaulareareareareeatingeatingeatingeatingMonica:OhmyGod!Paul:Iknow,Iknow,I'msuchanidiotIguessIshouldhavecaughtonwhenshestartedgoingtothedentistfourandfivetimesaweekImean,howcleancanteethgetMonica:Mybrother'sgoingthroughthatrightnow,he'ssuchamessHowdidyougetthroughitPaul:Well,youmighttryaccidentallybreakingsomethingvaluableofhers,sayherMonica:legPaul:(laughing)That'soneway!Me,IIwentforthewatchMonica:YouactuallybrokeherwatchWow!TheworstthingIeverdidwas,IIshreddedbyboyfriend'sfavoritebathtowelPaul:Ooh,steerclearofyouMonica:That'srightScene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Monica'sMonica'sMonica'sMonica'sApartment,Apartment,Apartment,Apartment,RachelRachelRachelRachelisisisistalkingtalkingtalkingtalkingononononthethethethephonephonephonephoneandandandandpacingpacingpacingpacingRachel:Barry,I'msorryIamsosorryIknowyouprobablythinkthatthisisallaboutwhatIsaidtheotherdayaboutyoumakinglovewithyoursockson,butitisn'titisn't,it'saboutme,andIju(Shestopstalkinganddialsthephone)Hi,machinecutmeoffagainanywaylook,look,IknowthatsomegirlisgoingtobeincrediblyluckytobecomeMrsBarryFinkel,butitisn'tme,it'snotmeAndnotthatIhaveanyideawhomeisrightnow,butyoujusthavetogivemeachancetoo(Themachingcutsheroffagainandsheredials)Scene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Ross'sRoss'sRoss'sRoss'sApartmentApartmentApartmentApartmentRossRossRossRossisisisispacingpacingpacingpacingwhilewhilewhilewhileJoeyJoeyJoeyJoeyandandandandChandlerChandlerChandlerChandlerareareareareworkingworkingworkingworkingononononsomesomesomesomemoremoremoremorefurniturefurniturefurniturefurnitureRoss:I'mdivorced!I'monlyandI'mdivorced!Joey:Shutup!Chandler:Youmuststop!(Chandlerhitswhatheisworkingonwithahammeranditcollapses)Ross:ThatonlytookmeanhourChandler:Look,Ross,yougottaunderstand,betweenuswehaven'thadarelationshipthathaslastedlongerthanaMentoYou,howeverhavehadtheloveofawomanforfouryearsFouryearsofclosenessandsharingattheendofwhichsherippedyourheartout,andthatiswhywedon'tdoit!Idon'tthinkthatwasmypoint!Ross:YouknowwhatthescariestpartisWhatifthere'sonlyonewomanforeverybody,youknowImeanwhatifyougetonewomanandthat'sitUnfortunatelyinmycase,therewasonlyonewomanforherJoey:Whatareyoutalkingabout'Onewoman'That'slikesayingthere'sonlyoneflavoroficecreamforyouLemmetellyousomething,RossThere'slotsofflavorsoutthereThere'sRockyRoad,andCookieDough,andBing!CherryVanillaYoucouldget'emwithJimmies,ornuts,orwhippedcream!Thisisthebestthingthateverhappenedtoyou!Yougotmarried,youwere,like,what,eightWelcomebacktotheworld!Grabaspoon!Ross:Ihonestlydon'tknowifI'mhungryorhornyChandler:Stayoutofmyfreezer!Scene:Scene:Scene:Scene:AAAARestaurant,Restaurant,Restaurant,Restaurant,MonicaMonicaMonicaMonicaandandandandPaulPaulPaulPaularearearearestillstillstillstilleatingeatingeatingeatingPaul:Eversinceshewalkedoutonme,I,uhMonica:WhatWhat,youwannaspellitoutwithnoodlesPaul:No,it's,it'smoreofafifthdatekindarevelationMonica:Oh,sothereisgonnabeafifthdatePaul:Isn'tthereMonica:Yeahyeah,IthinkthereisWhatwereyougonnasayPaul:Well,evereveversincesheleftme,um,Ihaven'tbeenableto,uh,perform(Monicatakesasipofherdrink)SexuallyMonica:(spittingoutherdrinkinshock)OhGod,ohGod,IamsorryIamsosorryPaul:It'sokayMonica:IknowbeingspitonisprobablynotwhatyouneedrightnowUmhowlongPaul:TwoyearsMonica:Wow!I'mI'mI'mgladyousmashedherwatch!Paul:Soyoustillthinkyou,ummightwantthatfifthdateMonica:(pause)YeahYeah,IdoScene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Monica'sMonica'sMonica'sMonica'sApartment,Apartment,Apartment,Apartment,RachelRachelRachelRachelisisisiswatchingwatchingwatchingwatchingJoanneJoanneJoanneJoanneLovesLovesLovesLovesChaciChaciChaciChaciPriestonTV:WearegatheredheretodaytojoinJoanneLouiseCunninghamandCharles,ChachiChachiChachi,ArcolaintheboundofholymatrimonyRachel:OhseebutJoannelovedChachi!That'sthedifference!Scene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Ross'sRoss'sRoss'sRoss'sApartment,Apartment,Apartment,Apartment,they'rethey'rethey'rethey'reallallallallsittingsittingsittingsittingaroundaroundaroundaroundandandandandtalkingtalkingtalkingtalkingRoss:(scornful)GrabaspoonDoyouknowhowlongit'sbeensinceI'vegrabbedaspoonDothewords'Billy,don'tbeahero'meananythingtoyouJoey:Greatstory!But,Iuh,Igottago,IgotadatewithAndreaAngelaAndreaOhman,(lookstoChandler)Chandler:Angela'sthescreamer,AndreahascatsJoey:RightThanksIt'sJuneI'mouttahere(Exits)Ross:Youknow,here'sthethingEvenifIcouldgetittogetherenoughtotoaskawomanout,whoamIgonnaask(Hegazesoutofthewindow)CutCutCutCuttotototoRachelRachelRachelRachelstaringstaringstaringstaringoutoutoutoutofofofofherherherherwindowwindowwindowwindowCommercialBreakScene:Scene:Scene:Scene:Monica'sMonica'sMonica'sMonica'sApartment,Apartment,Apartment,Apartment,RachelRachelRachelRachelisisisismakingmakingmakingmakingcoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeeforforforforJoeyJoeyJoeyJoeyandandandandChandlerChandlerChandlerChandlerRachel:Isn'tthisamazingImean,IhavenevermadecoffeebeforeinmyentirelifeChandler:ThatisamazingJoey:CongratulationsRachel:Youknow,IfigureifIcanmakecoffee,thereisn'tanythingIcan'tdoChandler:IfcaninvadePoland,thereisn'tanythingIcan'tdoJoey:Listen,whileyou'reonaroll,ifyoufeellikeyougottamakelikeaWesternomeletorsomething(JoeyandChandlertastethecoffee,grimace,andpouritintoaplantpot)AlthoughactuallyI'mreallynotthathungryMonica:(entering,toherself)Ohgood,LennyandSquigyarehereAll:MorningGoodmorningPaul:(enteringfromMonica'sroom)MorningJoey:Morning,PaulRachel:Hello,PaulChandler:Hi,Paul,isit(MonicaandPaulwalktothedoorandtalkinalowvoicesotheotherscan'thearTheothersmoveMonica'stableclosertothedoorsothattheycan)Paul:Thankyou!Thankyousomuch!Monica:Stop!Paul:No,I'mtellingyoulastnightwaslikeumm,allmybirthdays,bothgraduations,plusthebarnraisingsceneinWitnessMonica:We'lltalklaterPaul:Yeah(Theykiss)Thankyou(Exits)Joey:Thatwasn'tarealdate!WhatthehelldoyoudoonarealdateMonica:Shutup,andputmytablebackAll:Okayyy!(Theydoso)Chandler:Allright,kids,IgottagettoworkIfIdon'tinputthosenumbers,itdoesn'tmakemuchofadifferenceRachel:So,like,youguysallhavejobsMonica:Yeah,weallhavejobsSee,that'showwebuystuffJoey:Yeah,I'manactorRachel:Wow!WouldIhaveseenyouinanythingJoey:IdoubtitMostlyregionalworkMonica:Ohwait,wait,unlessyouhappenedtocatchtheReruns'productionofPinocchio,atthelittletheaterintheparkJoey:Look,itwasajoballrightChandler:'Look,Gippetto,I'marealliveboy'Joey:Iwillnottakethisabuse(Walkstothedoorandopensittoleave)Chandler:You'reright,I'msorry(Burstintosonganddancesoutofthedoor)"OnceIwasawoodenboy,alittlewoodenboy"Joey:Youshouldbothknow,thathe'sadeadmanOh,Chandl

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老友记第一季第一集剧本

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