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SCENE 1
BRYCE: All I ever wanted was for Juli
Baker to leave me alone. It all began in
the summer of 1957, before the start of
second grade.
STEVEN: Here we are.
PATSY: Ha, ha. What do you guys
think?
LYNETTA: I like this place.
BRYCE: It's cool.
LYNETTA: Uh, what color is my
room?
PATSY: Just you wait.
BRYCE: Let's see what's inside.
STEVEN: Hey, come on, buddy Bryce.
Why don't, uh, you and I go help unload
the van and the womenfolk here can get
in the kitchen and start setting up.
BRYCE: Okay, Dad.
BRYCE: For me, it was the beginning
of what would be more than half a
decade of strategic avoidance and social
discomfort.
JULI: Hi, I'm Juli Baker.
STEVEN: Hey, hey, what are you
doing?
JULI: Don't you want some help?
STEVEN: No. There's some valuable
things in there.
JULI: - How about this one?
STEVEN: No, no, no. Run home. Your
mother's probably wondering where you
are.
JULI: Oh, no, my mom knows where I
am. She said it's fine.
BRYCE: It didn't take long to realize
this girl could not take a hint.
STEVEN: It's crowded in here with
three people.
JULI: I don't mind.
BRYCE: Of any kind.
JULI: You wanna push this one
together?
STEVEN: Bryce, isn't it time for you to
go help your mother?
BRYCE: Huh? Oh, yeah.
BRYCE: I mean, nothing would stop
her. I was about to tell her to get lost
when the weirdest thing happened. I
couldn't believe it. There I was holding
hands with this strange girl. How did I
get into this mess?
PATSY: Well, hello. I see you've met
my son.
JULI: Uh-huh.
BRYCE: Finally, I did the only manly
thing available when you're 7 years old.
[BELL RINGING]
BRYCE: However, my troubles were
far from over. The minute I walked into
Miss Yelson's classroom...
JULI: Bryce? You're here.
BRYCE: ...it was clear: School would
not be a sanctuary.
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
KID 1: Hey, Bryce, where's your
girlfriend?
BRYCE: I was branded for life.
KID 2: Hey, Bryce, why don't you ask
her to marry you?
GIRLS [SINGING]: Bryce and Juli
sitting in a tree, K-l-S-S-l-N-G.
BRYCE: My first year in town was a
disaster. And the next three weren't
much better. But finally, in the sixth
grade, I took action. I hatched the plan.
BRYCE: Sherry. Sherry, wait up.
SHERRY: Hi, Bryce. Heh.
BRYCE: I asked out Sherry Stalls.
BRYCE: I was wondering if you wanted
to go...
BRYCE: To full appreciate the
brilliance of this plan, you have to
understand that Juli hated Sherry Stalls,
though I never understood why. Sherry
was nice, friendly and she had a lot of
hair.
SHERRY: At first, my mother wouldn't
let me get my ears pierced, but I
begged...
BRYCE: The idea was that Sherry
would eat with me... maybe we'd walk
around together, and hopefully Juli
would lose interest.
SHERRY: But I still can't get the hoops
till I'm 16.
BRYCE: Oh, that's a shame.
SHERRY: So Melanie wanted to get her
ears pierced, but of course her mother
said no. So she threw a fit and smashed
her Johnny Mathis Greatest Hits album...
[LAUGHS]...and she got grounded, so
now she can't come to my pajama
sleepover party.
BRYCE: Things were unfolding quite
nicely.
GARRETT: What are you doing for
your science project?
BRYCE: That is, until my supposed
best friend, Garrett Einbinder took an
interest in Sherry himself.
SHERRY: I was thinking of showing
how split ends react with different hair
conditioners.
GARRETT: That's fascinating.
BRYCE: Loyalty gave way to desire
and Garrett, the turncoat... told Sherry
what I was up to.
SHERRY: Jerk.
BRYCE: She didn't take it well. Word
got back to Juli, and pretty soon she
started up with the goo-goo eyes again.
Only this time it was worse. She started
sniffing me. That's right, sniffing me.
What was that all about? My only
consolation was that next year would be
different. Junior high, bigger school.
Maybe we'd be in different classes and
it would finally, finally be over.
SCENE 2
JULI: The first day I met Bryce Loski, I
flipped. It was those eyes, something in
those dazzling eyes.
JULI: You wanna push this one
together?
JULI: His family had just moved into
the neighborhood... and I'd gone over to
help them. I'd been in the van all of two
minutes when his dad sent him off to
help his mom. I could see he didn't
wanna go. So I chased after him to see if
we could play a little before he got
trapped inside. The next thing I know,
he's holding my hand... and looking
right into my eyes. My heart stopped.
Was this it? Would this be my first kiss?
- But then his mother came out.
PATSY: - Well, hello.
JULI: And he was so embarrassed, his
cheeks turned completely red. I went to
bed that night thinking of the kiss that
might have been. I mean, it was clear he
had feelings for me, but he was just too
shy to show them. My mother said boys
were like that. So I decided to help him
out.
JULI: - Bryce? You're here.
[CHILDREN GIGGLING]
JULI: I would give him plenty of
opportunity to get over his shyness. By
the sixth grade, I'd learned to control
myself. Then Sherry Stalls entered the
picture. Sherry Stalls was nothing but a
whiny, gossipy, backstabbing flirt. All
hair and no substance. And there she
was... holding hands with Bryce. My
Bryce. The one who was walking
around with my first kiss. My solution
was to ignore her. I knew a boy of
Bryce's caliber... would eventually see
through a shallow conniver like Sherry
Stalls. It took all of a week. They broke
up at recess. She didn't take it well. Now
that Bryce was out of Sherry's evil
clutches, he started being nicer to me.
BRYCE: - Hi, Juli.
JULI: - Hi, Bryce.
JULI: He was so shy and so cute... and
his hair, it smelled like watermelon. I
couldn't get enough of it. I spent the
whole year secretly sniffing
watermelon... and wondering if I was
ever going to get my kiss.
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SCENE 3
BRYCE: Seventh grade brought
changes, all right. But the biggest one
didn't happen at school. It happened at
home. My grandfather came to live with
us. Mom said he stared like that because
he missed Grandma. That was not
something Grandpa would ever talk
about with me. As a matter of fact, he
never talked about much of anything
with me. That is, until Juli appeared in
the local newspaper.
CHET: Oh, Bryce. May I speak with
you?
BRYCE: What?
CHET: Have a seat, son. Tell me about
your friend Juli Baker.
BRYCE: Juli. She's not exactly my
friend.
CHET: Oh. Why's that?
BRYCE: Why do you wanna know?
BRYCE: Now, Juli Baker did not wind
up in The Mayfield Times for being an
eighth-grade Einstein. No, she got front-
page coverage because she refused to
climb out of a sycamore tree. Juli Baker
and that stupid sycamore tree. She
always thought it was God's gift to our
little corner of the universe.
JULI: Hey, Bryce. Wanna come climb
the tree with me and my brothers?
BRYCE: No, thanks.
JULI: Bryce. Come up here. It's fun.
You can see everything.
BRYCE: I can't. My dad needs me to
help him fix... a thing.
BRYCE: That's all I needed. Climb up a
tree with Juli Baker. I'd be dragged right
back into the second grade. Bryce and
Juli sitting in a tree. Why don't you just
make me eat lima beans for the rest of
my life.
JULI: It's three blocks away. Two
blocks. One block away.
BRYCE: Like that's valuable
information.
GARRETT: I hate it when she does that.
I like to think there's at least a chance
the bus won't show.
JULI: I think the tree looks particularly
beautiful in this light. Don't you?
BRYCE: If by "beautiful" you mean
"unbelievably ugly," then, yes, I would
agree.
JULI: You're just visually challenged. I
feel sorry for you.
BRYCE: "Visually challenged"?
"Visually challenged"? This from the
girl who lived in a house that was the
joke of the neighborhood? They had
bushes growing over windows and
weeds all over the place. It bugged my
dad bigtime.
STEVEN: Oh, there he is. The
bricklayer who thinks he's a painter.
That truck's not ugly enough in real life?
He's gotta make a painting of it?
LYNETTA: No, he does landscapes.
Sells them at the county fair. People say
they're beautiful.
STEVEN: Landscapes? Let me tell you
something. The world would have more
beauty in it if he'd do a little landscaping
on that piece of crap he calls a yard.
PATSY: I feel bad for his wife. She
married a dreamer. Because of that, one
of the two of them will always be
unhappy.
STEVEN: Yeah, fine. But why do we
have to be unhappy?
BRYCE: As annoying as the yard was
to my dad... it was nothing compared to
how annoying Juli Baker was in that
tree.
JULI: Three blocks away.
BRYCE: Every morning we had to
listen to the sound ...of her
blow-by-blow traffic report.
JULI: Two blocks.
WOMAN: There you go.
GARRETT: Why do they call it The
Three Stooges? I mean, there's five of
them.
BRYCE: What?
GARRETT: Well, yeah, there's Moe,
Larry, Curly, Shemp and Curly Joe.
BRYCE: Yeah, but they only have three
at a time.
GARRETT: Yeah. You know, I hate
Curly Joe. I mean, he shouldn't even be
a Stooge.
MAN: Listen, girl, I'm this close to
calling the police. You are trespassing
and obstructing progress on a contracted
job.
GARRETT: What's going on?
MAN: Either you come down... or we're
gonna cut you down.
JULI: You guys, come up here with
me.They won't cut it down if we're all
up here.
GARRETT: Bus, bus, bus.
BRYCE: Juli was frantic. They wanted
to cut down her tree. I couldn't
understand why that mutant tangle of
gnarly branches meant so much to her.
JULI: Bryce, please.
BRYCE: I felt bad for her.
GARRETT: Leave her.
BRYCE: But I wasn't about to cut
school over it.
GARRETT: Come on, bro.
CHET: Why isn't she your friend,
Bryce?
BRYCE: You'd have to know Juli.
CHET: Well, I'd like to.
BRYCE: Why?
CHET: That girl has an iron backbone.
Why don't you invite her over
sometime?
BRYCE: An iron backbone? She's just
stubborn... and she's pushy beyond
belief.
CHET: Is that so?
BRYCE: And she's been stalking me
since the second grade.
CHET: Well, a girl like that doesn't live
next door to everyone.
BRYCE: Lucky them.
CHET: Read this. Without prejudice.
BRYCE: Like I needed to know
anything more about Juli Baker.
BRYCE: Juli wasn't at the bus stop the
next morning. Or the morning after that.
She was at school, but you'd never know
it.
GARRETT: Little Joe? He's got so
much makeup on...
BRYCE: He doesn't age.
BRYCE: I told myself I should be glad
about it. I mean, isn't that what I'd
always wanted? But still, I felt bad for
her. I was gonna tell her I was sorry, but
then I thought, hey, no... that's the last
thing I needed: Juli Baker thinking I
missed her.
SCENE 4
JULI: I see why you like to come out
here.
RICHARD: Would you mind explaining
it to your mother?
JULI: I loved to watch my father paint.
Or really, I loved to hear him talk while
he painted. I learned a lot about my dad
that way. He told me all sorts of things...
like how he got his first job delivering
hay and how he'd wished he'd finished
college. Then one day he surprised me.
RICHARD: What's going on with you
and, uh, Bryce Loski?
JULI: What do you mean? Nothing.
RICHARD: Oh, okay. My mistake.
JULI: Why would you even think that?
RICHARD: No reason. Just that you...
talk about him all the time.
JULI: I do?
RICHARD: Mm-hm.
JULI: I don't know. I guess it's
something about his eyes. Or maybe his
smile.
RICHARD: But what about him?
JULI: What?
RICHARD: You have to look at the
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whole landscape.
JULI: What does that mean?
RICHARD: A painting is more than the
sum of its parts. A cow by itself is just a
cow. A meadow by itself is just grass,
flowers.
And the sun peeking through the trees is
just a beam of light. But you put them
all together...and it can be magic.
JULI: I didn't really understand what he
was saying until one afternoon...when I
was up in the sycamore tree. I was
rescuing a kite. It was a long way up,
higher than I'd ever been. And the
higher I got, the more amazed I was by
the view. I began to notice
how wonderful the breeze smelled. Like
sunshine and wild grass. I couldn't stop
breathing it in...filling my lungs with the
sweetest smell I'd ever known.
BRYCE: Hey, you found my kite.
JULI: Bryce, you should come up here.
It's so beautiful.
BRYCE: I can't. I sprained my, um... I
have a rash.
JULI: From that moment on, that
became my spot. I could sit there for
hours, just looking out at the world.
Some days the sunsets would be purple
and pink. And some days they were a
blazing orange setting fire to the clouds
on the horizon. It was during one of
those sunsets that my father's idea of the
whole being greater than the sum of its
parts moved from my head to my heart.
Some days I would get there extra early
to watch the sunrise. One morning I was
making mental notes of how the streaks
of light were cutting through the
clouds … so I could tell my dad when I
heard a noise below.
JULI: Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm sorry,
but you can't park there. That's a bus
stop.
MAN 1: Hey, what are you doing up
there?
MAN 2: You can't be up there, we're
gonna take this thing down.
JULI: The tree?
MAN 2: Yeah. Now come on down.
JULI: But who told you, you could cut
it down?
MAN 1: The owner.
JULI: Why?
MAN 1: He's gonna build a house, and
this tree's in the way. So come on, girl,
we got work to do.
JULI: You can't cut it down. You just
can't.
MAN 1: Listen, girl. I'm this close to
calling the police. You are trespassing
and obstructing progress on a contracted
job. Now either you come down, or
we're gonna cut you down.
JULI: Go ahead. Cut me down. I'm not
coming down. I'm never coming down.
Bryce. You guys, come up here with me.
They won't cut it down if we're all up
here. Bryce, please don't let them do this.
Come on, you guys. Bryce, please. You
don't have to
come up this high. Just a little ways.
Bryce, please. Please.
JULI: What happened after that was a
blur. It seemed like the whole town was
there. But still I wouldn't move. Then
my father showed up. He talked a
fireman into letting him come up to
where I was.
RICHARD: Sweetie, it's time to come
down.
JULI: Daddy, please don't let them do
this.
RICHARD: Sweetie...
JULI: Daddy, look. You can see
everything. You can see the whole
world from here.
RICHARD: No view is worth my
daughter's safety. Now, come on.
JULI: I can't.
RICHARD: Julianna, it's time to come
down now.
JULI: Please, Daddy.
RICHARD: It's time.
JULI: And that was it. I must've cried
for two weeks straight. Oh, sure, I went
to school and did the best I could... but
nothing seemed to matter.
TEACHER: Juli?
JULI: Huh?
TEACHER: Do you know the answer?
JULI: Uh, the Peloponnesian War?
TEACHER: I'm sure that's the answer to
something... but I was looking for the
area of a rhomboid.
[CHILDREN LAUGH]
JULI: Somehow, rhomboids and
isosceles right triangles... didn't seem so
important. I rode my bike so I wouldn't
have to pass by the stump... that used to
be the earth's most magnificent
sycamore tree. But no matter what I did,
I couldn't stop thinking about it.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
RICHARD: Are you okay?
JULI: It was just a tree.
RICHARD: No, it wasn't just a tree. I
never want you to forget how you felt
when you were up there.
JULI: Thanks, Dad.
JULI: It was the first thing I saw every
morning... and the last thing I saw
before I went to sleep. And once I could
look at it without crying... I saw more
than the tree and what being up there
meant to me. I saw the day that my view
of things around me started changing.
And I wondered, did I still feel the same
things about Bryce?
SCENE 5
BRYCE: I've never been a huge fan of
eggs. I mean, I could always just take
them or leave them. That is, until one
day in Skyler Brown's garage.. when my
feelings about eggs were solidified.
[BAND PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]
SKYLER: Hey, hey, hey. Guys. Edna's
found her breakfast.
BRYCE: I mean, if a slimy reptile found
them appetizing... there was certainly no
place for them in my diet.
MATT: Oh, man, that's so cool. She
doesn't even have to chew. I mean, think
of all the time you'd save.
BRYCE: I could've gone my whole life
not knowing that snakes eat eggs raw...
if it hadn't been for Lynetta. She had a
major-league thing for Skyler Brown.
LYNETTA: I think it's gross.
BRYCE: He and Juli's brothers, Matt
and Mark, had formed a band. And
Lynetta would watch them practice.
MARK: That is so neat. How about that,
huh, Bryce?
BRYCE: Yeah. Neat.
SKYLER: So, Brycie, how do you think
he's gonna digest that?
BRYCE: Stomach acid?
SKYLER: You'd like to think that. Wait,
everybody quiet. Here he goes. [SHELL
CRACKING] Eggs over easy.
LYNETTA: Gross. Gross, gross, gross.
SKYLER: Wait, wait. You haven't seen
the best part.
LYNETTA: Ugh! Gross.
BRYCE: I tried to be casual about it,
but it didn't take. I started having bad
dreams. I'd be trapped inside a huge
egg... and this monster would open his
jaws and start to devour me. I'd wake up
just in time. [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Then the real nightmare began.
JULI: Hi, Bryce. I brought these over
for you and your family. My chickens
are laying eggs.
BRYCE: What?
JULI: You remember Abby and Bonnie
and Clyde and Dexter and Eunice and
Florence? The ones I hatched for the
science fair.
BRYCE: How could I forget?
BRYCE: It was classic Juli Baker. She
totally dominated the fair. And get this,
4
her project was all about watching
boring eggs hatch. I mean, here I had a
live-action erupting volcano... and all
anyone cared about was Juli's boring
chicks... breaking out of their boring
shells.
JULI: Oh, I think the last one's hatching.
WOMAN 1: It's hatching.
WOMAN 2: Oh, it's hatching.
WOMAN 1: Kids, come over here.
BRYCE: But hey, she won. I lost. I've
never been one to dwell.
WOMAN 2: Here it comes.
BRYCE: But that didn't mean I had to
eat her lousy eggs.
PATSY: I think it was very sweet of Juli
to bring us those eggs.
BRYCE: I don't care. I'm still having
cereal tomorrow.
STEVEN: Yeah, how do we know
there's no chicks in one of those eggs?
CHET: I used to eat farm-fresh eggs
when I was a kid. They were delicious.
STEVEN: Yeah, well, that's all well and
good... but what if we crack one open
and a dead chick falls out?
CHET: Do they have a rooster? If they
don't have a rooster the eggs can't be
fertile.
PATSY: And if they had a rooster, we'd
know. The whole neighborhood would
know.
LYNETTA: Maybe they got it
de-yodeled.
STEVEN: "De-yodeled"?
LYNETTA: You know.
De-cock-a-doodle-doo'd.
STEVEN: What the hell are you talking
about?
LYNETTA: Like they de-bark dogs.
PATSY: Bryce, why don't you just ask
Juli?
BRYCE: I don't think that...
LYNETTA: What? You afraid to talk to
her?
BRYCE: I'm not afraid to talk to her.
LYNETTA: [MIMICS CHICKEN]
BRYCE: I know you are, but what am
I?
STEVEN: Okay. Just talk to her and
find out.
Bryce: How do you tell if one's a
rooster?
GARRETT: Well, a rooster's bigger.
Longer feathers.
BRYCE: Mm-hm.
GARRETT: They've got that red stuff
growing out of their head. And around
their neck too.
BRYCE: That shouldn't be too hard to
spot.
GARRETT: Although, come to think of
it, chickens have the rubbery red stuff
too. Just not as much.
BRYCE: Garrett's expertise in roosters...
was the cornerstone of our plan to avoid
contact with Juli Baker. The balance of
which involved spying over her back
fence.
BRYCE: Come on, come on. Shh. Shh.
Over here.
BRYCE: I can't see the stupid chickens.
GARRETT: We got
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