幽默英文故事

幽默英文故事 1. The Tooth Fairy When I was teaching a Grade One class, Billy's tooth just popped out. He was examining it in wonderment when Joan turned around to tell him about the tooth fairy: how she put her tooth under her pillow when she went to bed, and when she woke in the morning, the tooth was gone, a shiny quarter in its place. Billy put his tooth in his pocket thoughtfully. When it was time to go home, Billy walked over to Joan, handed her the tooth and said: "you can put my tooth under your pillow and bring the money on Monday." 2. Two skunks "We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?" "Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open." Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher. "No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!" 3. The Crab and His Mother "My child," said a Crab to her son, "why do you walk so awkward? If you wish to make a good appearance, you should go straight forward, and not to one side as you do so constantly." "I do wish to make a good appearance, Mamma" said the young Crab; “and if you will show me how, I will try to walk straight forward." "Why, this is the way, of course," said the mother, as she started off to the right, "No, this is the way," said she, as she made another attempt, to the left. The little Crab smiled. "When you learn to do it yourself, you can teach me," he said, and he went back to his play. 4. A smart horse A cowboy fell off his horse and broke his leg on the prairie. The steed grabbed his master's belt in his teeth, carried him to shelter and then went to fetch the doctor. Talking it over a few weeks later, a friend praised the horse's intelligence. "Heck, he's so smart,"replied the cowboy. "he came back with the veterinarian." 5. Catching a mouse One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse." The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap. Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese! 6. The value of a second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the babies. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for its life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"