舞台剧小品英语话剧荆轲刺秦王

荆轲刺秦王 Jing Ke—the Assassinator Performanced by Group 6 Background (“战争的脚步”音乐起) Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth. Act 1: Conspiracy(密谋) 太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror,on the wall, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. 太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”! 阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状） 太子：Oh yeah~~~. I have to say it is a good idea! But who is the hero? 阿三：I have two promising persons on hand. One is Mr Xi Men Chui Xue, the other is Mr JingKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO 1 killer of the world. Act 2:Tournament(比武) (“十面埋伏”音乐起) 西门吹雪（上台，摆出一幅酷式，手一张，一条纸带随风而下）Today I came here for the fighting, whoever doesn’t want to live any more, stand out. 荆轲（带剑冲向西门吹雪，半途停住）Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue? 西门吹雪：Don’t talk nonsense! Come on, Little boy! 荆轲：（又冲，停在西门吹雪面前）Are you sure you are really the famous Xi Men Chui Xue in the legend? 西门吹雪：（不耐烦）what a boring man! How dare you ask me such a stupid question? 荆轲：（环视四周见无一人，便跪在西门吹雪面前，大哭）My hero, I worship you just like I worship the endless Yellow River! I have an eighty-year-old mother to support, and a three-year-old boy to raise. Please don’t kill me. Will you give me a chance to live, please! 西门吹雪：（大怒）I thought Jing Ke is a hero. But you beg for life. How can I forgive you? (举剑刺向荆轲，忽然，捂住自己的肚子，自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning. Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the men’s room? 荆轲：Men’s room? 西门吹雪：（急）Toilet！！Are you happy to see me like this? 荆轲：I know, I know. Turn left, left and left. 西门吹雪下。 Act 2:Tournament(比武) 太子丹与阿三上，看见荆轲，大吃一惊，太子丹给阿三一个眼色，阿三会意。走至荆轲前。 阿三:　What’s your name, please? Hero! 荆轲不屑一顾。 太子丹（抱拳）：How do you do? 荆柯：How do you do?. 荆柯突欲走，太子丹给阿三一个眼色。 阿三：Hero, wait for a moment. We need your help. 太子丹：And if you can do it, you can gain a lot of things. 荆柯欲走又止。 太子丹(从衣兜里掏出一张卡片) 荆柯正准备拿，但马上又止，转身又欲走 太子丹（慌了）：I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen. This is Miss Xu! (音乐“big big world”响起) 有一妖艳女子走上（男扮女装），走到荆柯面前，给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。荆柯两眼发直。 太子丹与阿三（击掌）Yeah! 荆柯（站直，厉声道）：A real man should be both born and die for his motherland. I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just tell me. But this lady…… 太子丹：No problem. Act 3:Farewell by the Yi River(易水别) 荆珂挽着那女子，太子丹在后，阿三手拿地图和人头。 太子丹：Well. Goodbye. Hero. Here is the map and the head of Fan Yuqi, so as to get trust of the king. I will miss you, baby. 荆珂(接过地图和人头)：Just stop here, please. Otherwise I will kill you first. Farewell, my friends Act 3:Farewell by the Yi River(易水别) （太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型) 荆珂：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》 荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it!You are my hero. I will be right here waiting for you. (唱歌） 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:“I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I‘ll never let go.” 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪， 荆珂上船，渐渐远去 妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! With pleasant cooperation! Act 4:Assassination(刺秦) 一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。 大臣甲（掏出手机一看）：Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus of this month has been lost. 大臣乙：I am tired. I had been chatting on QQ until 3 o’ clock last night. 大臣乙（看了一下大臣甲）：Good. Good. Your skin is still fine. 大臣甲：I use “ Da Bao” everyday. 大臣乙：I have heard the king of Yan again give our king some good things. Be quick to have a look. 大臣甲：Come on 秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边。 卫兵丙：Shall we begin？ 秦王: Begin 卫兵丙：Let the emissary of Yan，Jing ke come in. 荆柯上。跪下，吓得直发抖。 秦王：Jing Ke. What’s wrong with you？ 荆柯：Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas on my body. 秦王（不耐烦）：Where’s the map，quickly！” 荆柯献图，图穷匕首见，荆柯举刀刺秦，（“the Cup of life”音乐响起） 秦王摔倒，转身逃跑，其他人抱头趴在地上。 两个人围着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿…… 大臣甲喊道：“My King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶，秦王接住，咂了一下，顿时，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地。 秦王: Super rubbish, how dare you kill me? 荆柯: I'm sorry I was wrong. But the prince of Yan told me to do this. Please forgive me! 秦王：You should not live any more. What would you like to say? 荆柯：Oh, my lovely lady! I can’t see you again! 秦王（吼道）：Soldiers! Carry him out and kill him tomorrow. Than hang the pig head on the city wall!! Act 5:Escape(逃跑) 二个卫兵拖着荆柯上，（手脚以被绑）将荆柯扔到一边。二人气喘吁吁，甲搜身。 卫兵甲：Bad luck. He has no money. 卫兵乙：Money?? You are kidding! I have searched all his body, just two socks. 卫兵甲: What?? Two socks? 卫兵乙: Nothing. Nothing. (回头)Too dangerous. 卫兵甲:Put the socks out. 卫兵乙极不情愿，拿出了一双大小不一的袜子 卫兵甲看了看，比了比。将长的装进了自己兜里，短的扔给了卫兵乙。 卫兵乙：Too brazen. (甲看了他一眼)Oh, no. It’s fair. 荆柯（抬起头）：I will give you much more money if you set me free. 二卫兵：Really? Where is the money? 荆柯指了指脚上的绳子。二卫兵会意，解开了绳子。 荆柯（站起来）：My brothers, I have a good idea. If you do it, you will get lots of money. 二卫兵：Oh, please tell us! 荆柯:You can tie another person instead of me to put to death. Only the king recognizes me but he won’t watch my death. So no one will find out the secret. 二卫兵：Good idea!!(竖指) 荆柯去一边的树林里，拿出两袋钱，扔给二卫兵便大步而去。二卫兵正指着钱， 忽卫兵丙装哈利波特骑扫把上。 二卫兵（双目相视，大笑，同声）：Good!! 两人一把抓住扫把，只往下拉，卫兵丙掉在地上。 卫兵丙：What have I done? I haven’t done anything wrong. Oh, no no!!! Have I commit crime? 二卫兵（异口同声）：Maybe.大笑.(Yesterday once more 起)