济南的冬天.kdh

2010年　第3期 No. 3　2010 8989 汉译英原文： 济南的冬天 老舍 对于一个在北平住惯的人，象我，冬天要是不 刮风，便觉得是奇迹；济南的冬天是没有风声的。 对于一个刚由伦敦回来的人，象我，冬天要能看得 见日光，便觉得是怪事；济南的冬天是响晴的。自 然，在热带的地方，日光是永远那么毒，响亮的天 气，反有点叫人害怕。可是，在北中国的冬天，而 能有温晴的天气，济南真的算个宝地。 设若单单是有阳光，那也算不了出奇。请闭上 眼睛想：一个老城，有山有水，全在天底下晒着阳 光，暖和安适地睡着，只等春风来把它们唤醒，这 是不是理想的境界？ 小山整把济南围了个圈儿，只有北边缺着点口 儿。这一圈小山在冬天特别可爱，好象是把济南放 在一个小摇篮里，它们安静不动地低声地说：“你 们放心吧，这儿准保暖和。”真的，济南的人们在 冬天是面上含笑的。他们一看那些小山，心中便觉 得有了着落，有了依靠。他们由天上看到山上，便 不知不觉地想起：明天也许就是春天了吧？这样 的温暖，今天夜里山草也许就绿起来了吧？就是 这点幻想不能一时实现，他们也并不着急，因为这 样慈善的冬天，干什么还希望别的呢。 最妙的是下点小雪呀。看吧，山上的矮松越 发的青黑，树尖上顶着一髻儿白花，好象日本看护 妇。山尖全白了，给蓝天镶上一道银边。山坡上， 有的地方雪厚点，有的地方草色还露着；这样，一 道儿白，一道儿暗黄，给山们穿上一件带水纹的花 衣；看着看着，这件花衣好象被风儿吹动，叫你希 望看见一点更美的山的肌肤。等到快日落的时候， 微黄的阳光斜射在山腰上，那点薄雪好象忽然害 羞，微微露出点粉色。就是下小雪吧，济南是受不 住大雪的，那些小山太秀气。 古老的济南，城内那么狭窄，城外又那么宽 敞，山坡上卧着些小村庄，小树庄的房顶上卧着点 雪，对，这是张小水墨画，或者是唐代的名手画的 吧。 那水呢，不但不结冰，反倒在绿藻上冒着点热 气。水藻真绿，把终年贮蓄的绿色全拿出来了。天 儿越晴，水藻越绿，就凭这些绿的精神，水也不忍 得冰上；况且那长枝的垂柳还要在水里照个影儿 呢。看吧，由澄清的河水慢慢往上看吧，空中，半 空中，天上，自上而下全是那么清亮，那么蓝汪汪 的，整个的是块空灵的蓝水晶。这块水晶里，包着 红屋顶，黄草山，像地毯上的小团花的小灰色树 影；这就是冬天的济南。 参考译文： Winter in Ji，nan by Lao She Translated by Lynette Shi For someone like me who is used to living in Beiping, a winter without any wind is a bit of a miracle. Well, one never hears any whistling winter winds in Ji，nan. For someone like me who has just returned from London, sunshine in the winter seems quite unusual. Well, Ji，nan has bright sunny winter weather. I know that in tropical regions, the blazing sun and the perpetual harsh glare can be intimidating, but here in north China, a mild sunny winter season is a boon that makes Ji，nan a very special place indeed. But there is more than just sunshine. Close your eyes and picture to yourself: an ancient town, with mountains and lakes, dozing in the sunlight, warm and comfortable, waiting for the spring breezes to blow it awake. Doesn，t that sound idyllic? Low hills practically encircle Ji，nan, leaving just one small dip on the north side. In the winter, they are especially endearing, as if cradling the town and murmuring to it, “Don，t worry, it，s warm and safe here.” And it，s a fact that the people of Ji，nan seem to smile throughout the cold season. All they have to do is to see those hills to feel secure and protected. Looking up and around, they say to themselves, “Maybe spring will come tomorrow. It，s so mild, maybe tonight the grass on the hills will sprout.” And even if this is just daydreaming, they don，t really mind, because with this kindly winter 中 国 翻 译 Chinese Translators Journal 90 翻译导读： For me, one of the pleasures of reading Lao She is his style and use of language. He writes with a rhythmical flow which reads easily and pleasantly. His sentences can be long, with shifting subject and tone, as if he is thinking out loud. The language is colloquial, simple, yet very vivid, often conjuring up surprising images. This piece is a descriptive essay without any narrative. I think there are a number of challenges for the translator. The first is reproducing the easy rhythmical flow of the language in English which has such different syntax and ways of achieving cohesion. A good way of “feeling” this rhythm is to read the Chinese out loud. Wordiness and longer structures should be avoided, the use of gerunds and participles can shorten and simplify. The second challenge lies in the many metaphors and similes that paint a three- dimensional picture of Ji，nan in the winter. A third challenge is catching the right tone and perspective. At times Lao She seems to be having a dialogue with the reader, at times he seems to be talking to himself. This shifting perspective gives a sense of intimacy that has to be reproduced in a natural, light way. In the first paragraph, there is the repetition of a sentence structure “对于…… 向我……” separated by a short sentence that is like a counterpoint to the previous statement. I have translated this both times as “for someone like me...” and then used the interjection “well” to introduce the counterpoint. I think this preserves the rhythm and Comments on Translating Winter in Ji, nan Lynette Shi conversational tone, as well as expresses the sense of amazement in the counterpoint. Paragraph two again sounds like a dialogue with Lao She urging the reader to “close your eyes” and picture the scene. The choice of verbs here can make the text more active: doze, encircle, cradle, murmur, day dream. In paragraph three, I get a sense of rhythm from reading the Chinese out loud, and so I have deliberately used sentence fragments starting with “or” because I feel they retain this, even though Lao She uses separate sentences. One could use semi-colons instead of full stops with the same effect. Similes can be translated as metaphors, and vice versa. Instead of translating 肌肤 literally, I change this to “shape” because “skin” in this context is inappropriate, almost distasteful. Lao She，s use of personification can be rendered faithfully. The final paragraph has an unusual three- dimensional simile of everything being encased in a great hollow crystal block, containing the coloured dots of the landscape. It，s a good idea to read the whole English translation out loud too, to see if it flows as easily as the original and preserves the intimate tone. [译注者简介]施晓菁，美国蒙特雷高级翻译学院副教授，国 际会议口译员协会（AIIC）会员，曾多年担任联合国译员， 译著有《骆驼祥子》、《21世纪中国当代文学书库》（部 分）等，参与编撰多本词典。 why wish for more? A light snow makes the scene even prettier. Look at the short dark pine trees crowned with white nurse caps. Or the line of white etching the hilltops like a silver hemline on the azure sky. Or the hillsides, patchily dusted so that in some places the grass shows through, clothing the slopes in a wavy pattern of tan and pale stripes. As one gazes, these seem to shift in the breeze as if baring the hill for a better look at its lovely shape. As the sun sets, the golden rays slant on to the light snow that suddenly blushes a shy pink. Just a light snowfall, nothing heavier, turns those low hills into real beauties. Ji，nan is an ancient town with cramped and narrow streets, but surrounded by wide open spaces. Villages dot the slopes, their cottage roofs dusted with snow. Oh yes, this is a traditional ink and wash painting and probably one by a Tang dynasty master too. As for the lakes and ponds, they don，t freeze over, but even give off wisps of warm vapour. The water weeds remain bright green as if showing off colour stored up over the year, and the clearer the weather the greener they glow. Anyway, how can the water freeze over when all those weeping willows want to see their reflections? As you raise your eyes slowly from the transparent depths and look up gradually to the sky, everything is so clear and bright and blue, like a giant hollow block of crystal, in which are encased red roofs, tan hills and little copses, like the design on a carpet. This is Ji，nan in the winter.