中西方婚礼习俗的文化差异 --毕业论文.doc

中西方婚礼习俗的文化差异 --毕业论文.doc 【标题】中西方婚礼习俗的文化差异 【作者】谭丽娟 【关键词】婚礼习俗;中国;西方国家;文化差异 【指导老师】张亚军 黄凤菊 【专业】英语 【正文】 I. Introduction Wedding customs in both China and western countries has affected by their different culture. As a most grand thing in people’s life, it has always attracted a high degree of attention. Wedding is very important to one’s life, not only to the couple involved but also for both families. Wedding is a celebration in which couples begin their married life. Due to the different cultural origins, religions, geographical locations and marriage concepts there are many differences existing in the two kinds of wedding customs. China is a country with an ancient civilization and a long history, Therefore, the Chinese wedding is elaborate and with many implicit meanings. It is deeply influenced by the complex traditional cultures and etiquettes. Different from Chinese wedding, in western countries, the whole wedding is romantic and blessed. The differences existing in Chinese and western marriage custom are inevitable. Although wedding customs mutually penetrate between China and western countries with the society's progress and the transformation of people's thinking, there are some cultural differences on wedding customs between China and western countries. Although many wedding customs have experienced various changes as time goes by, as the basic pattern, “six etiquettes” in China has not changed much. That’s to say proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal presents to the girl’s family, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride are still essential and core in wedding custom, while a valid marriage should experience proposal, surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding in western countries. However, both eastern and western wedding have their own importance. In this paper, the author would like to make a comparative study of the two different kinds of wedding customs in China and western countries, such as illustrating some cultural differences between some western countries and China, and analyzing the reasons for those differences in deep inside. II. The Two Kinds of Wedding Customs Each country in the world has its own traditional customs because of differences in culture. Wedding customs is one of the customs which influenced by culture. Wedding customs also is an interesting topic. It attracts much care of young people. China and western countries both have their own wedding customs. However, the procedures of wedding customs are completely different in detail. A. The Major Procedures of Chinese Wedding Customs As a most grand etiquette, wedding customs has always been a high degree of attention. The traditional Chinese marriage comply with six procedures, which are the so-called "six etiquettes."1 As time goes by, although many wedding customs have experienced some changes, "Six etiquettes" as the basic pattern have not changed much in the modern Chinese wedding. It is still essential and core in today’s Chinese wedding custom as well as the traditional Chinese wedding customs. Therefore, the author will explain the "six etiquettes" in the following part. In Chinese wedding customs, The six procedures are proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, betrothal gift presenting, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride.2 Proposing is the first etiquette in marriage and is the first meeting between the members in the two families. Both China and western countries have this procedure, but they are totally different in details. In feudal society of China, a marriage would be decided not by the youth’s love, but by their parents' desires. Only after a matchmaker's introduction and when parents believed that the family conditions of the two matched, would the marriage procedures went forward. Conditions that should be taken into consideration included wealth and social status as well. After the proposing, it comes to the second procedures, that is asking the name, which means the matchmaker’s inquiring about the girl's name. In ancient times the girl’s name would not be known by other people until the girl was in an age of marriage. So one must have the matchmaker and inform of the man’s family through a card. And the man’s family would know the girl’s name. After asking the name, the bridegroom’s side had got the woman’s birthday and eight-characters and they went to consult a fortune-teller, which was called asking for fortune. If the birthday and eight-characters were not harmful to the man, the man’s family would agree the marriage. When everything was almost ready for the marriage, the man's family would present gift-money and various gifts to the girl's family. The variety and quantity of the gifts and gift-money were all clearly listed in a “Gift Book” document. This is the forth producer which we called betrothal gift presenting. After received the betrothal gift, it means that both sides agreed to the marriage, so the following step is discussing the date of marriage. In the past, the bridegroom’s side decided the lucky day and sent the matchmaker to inform the woman’s family. People paid much attention to the wedding time. They usually had a person asking for fortune. Nowadays, choosing a lucky day is also an important event. The last step is meeting the bride. In the past, the bridegroom wore wedding suit, road on a horse, and guided the bridal sedan chair to marry the bride on the day. And the bride wore a red cheongsam to wait for the bridegroom. Now, the bridegroom wears western suit, and the bride wears wedding dress. These six steps form a completely Chinese wedding. Essential to the marriage process are the commonly recognized “six etiquettes”. In addition, a typical Chinese wedding nowadays goes like this: when a new couple is engaged, they would chose a bank holiday or special Chinese festival for their relatives and friends to attend the wedding. However, quite a few others, especially those in the countryside, would probably ask a fortune-teller for a lucky date so that their marriage would have "Double Happiness". B. The Major Procedures of Western Wedding Customs In the west, wedding also plays an important role in one’s life. So does the wedding customs formed in those countries depending on their cultures in the long history. Different from Chinese marriage there are four procedures in western countries. They are proposal, changing surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding. Proposal is also the first procedure of the wedding in the western countries, but they are not the same in the details. In the West, if the man and woman want to get married, the groom's family must propose to the bride's side. In contrast to China, they do not need a matchmaker to propose. When proposing the groom's family should bestow the betrothal ring, which sometimes we call an engagement ring to the bride's side,. Therefore, when people say “He gave her a ring”, its significance usually is that he proposed to her. If she accepted, then they were engaged. After the first step, it comes to changing surnames. After the girl decide to marry a man, she should change her surname with the man’s. The bride should not practice writing her new name before the wedding. This is thought to bring bad luck by tempting fate. Like people in China, westerners also pay attention to the marriage time. So the third procedure is choosing the day. This one is more like the people in China, but westerners call it discussing the day of marriage. However, there are some differences. The way they choose the day is completely different between China and western countries. Fridays are considered unlucky particularly Friday the 13th. The famous old rhyme advised a wedding in the first half of the week: Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for funerals, Saturday for no luck at all. 3After the three steps, the wedding ceremony will finally be held and it comes to the last one--holding the wedding. The key element utilized in most western wedding ceremonies, in their most common order, are introduction, opening, or invocation, main body, introduction to the vows, vows, exchange of rings, and announcement of the couple. 4 The two different wedding customs reflect the two different cultures in china and western countries. Chinese wedding is more complicated than the wedding in the western countries. In the following part, the author will analyze some differences between the wedding in china and western countries. III. Differences on the Two Wedding Customs Wedding custom and tradition varies a lot from place to place. People from different countries have some of their own way to arrange a wedding. From the aspects of wedding preparation, wedding dress, wedding ceremonies, wedding gifts and rituals after wedding ceremonies, we can find some cultural differences on wedding customs between China and western countries. A. Wedding Preparation Wedding is a very complex and systematic procedure. Not only the wedding itself, people who decide to marry must do many preparations for their wedding. The elaborate preparations are much more complicated than wedding ceremony itself. However, different countries have different preparation for the wedding depends on their different cultures. In china, there are some unique customs in traditional wedding. First, the traditional Chinese wedding needs the bridal sedan chair. Before the wedding, the groom will bring the bridal sedan chair, an equivalent of a limousine nowadays, and a group of relatives and friends to go to fetch his bride. Thus, people in china must prepare a sedan china before the wedding. But this is different from the wedding in the west. In western countries, most of them choose car as the sedan chair to fetch bride. Bed making is another one of the special customs needed in China while the western countries have no such customs. Chinese take marriage as “joint the two families together for the ancestor and for the offspring.” 5 Bed making, spilling some Chinese dates, peanuts, longans, lotus on the bed, means having a boy as soon as possible. Therefore, bed making is a necessary step and play an essential part in Chinese wedding. This customs still exist in some region in China. While the west-style wedding has other special things to prepare. Western wedding have their own unique symbol and the connotation like wedding bouquet, wedding rings, the idea of having bridesmaids, pages, a batsman and ushers. All these customs can date back to the old times and have gone through a long history in the western countries. Wedding things needed in the wedding should be carefully prepared. Wedding rings are one of the indispensable things of the wedding. "Bible" said that in ancient times, men used to propose to the woman with a ring. 6 In the western countries, the groom must prepare the wedding ring before the wedding. While in China, ring is not an indispensable thing in the wedding. Especially for those who live in poverty. Besides the wedding rings, wedding bouquet also needs to be prepared before the wedding in western countries. Bouquet plays an important role in ritual of wedding in western culture. Wedding flower can be seen everywhere on the western wedding, from the church to the hotel, They enjoy using fresh flowers, and fake ones will not be used. Flowers can be seen everywhere. Thus, a large number of flowers must be prepared before the wedding. But in china, wedding bouquet have no such important role in the wedding. So they do not need spend time preparing plenty of flowers before the wedding. From the differences on the wedding preparation between China and western countries we can see that those differences are partly caused by the different cultures. For instance, Chinese traditional culture of five thousand years formed a complicated and unique wedding customs, while affected by the Bible, people in the west treat the wedding ring and bouquet as the necessary things in wedding. However, with a blend of Chinese and western cultures, the wedding customs are also mutual penetration. B. Wedding Dress Wedding dress is given the utmost importance so as to impart the most unique appearance to the couple. So people pay more attention to their dress on the wedding day. Because of the different cultures, costumes are also different in China and western countries. In a Chinese wedding, the common color is red. The color red is considered as good luck. It is a strong color that can drive away evil spirits. While white plays an important role in ritual of wedding in western culture. It means chasteness, beauty, loftiness, and civility, so white is the main color of the west wedding. In China, brides and grooms often wear special costumes. The traditional Chinese wedding dress in northern China is usually one-piece frock named Qi Pao, embroidered with elaborate gold and silver designs. Brides from southern China usually wear two-piece dress named Qun Gua, Kwa or Cheongsam, also elaborately adorned with golden phoenix and dragon. It is a tradition to wear Cheongsam with red dragon and phoenix design at the wedding day because dragon and phoenix design symbolizes the balance of male and female power. While in the western countries, there are white dress, white posy, white veil, as well as the white cream cake, and everything is so romantic. In the western countries, the traditional white wedding gown symbolizes the innocence of the bride in her preparation for her new husband. Thus, the west wedding dress is often white not red. Moreover, In the old days of China, a piece of red veil is part of the bride’s costume to cover her face during the wedding ceremony. Newlyweds would see each other’s face for the first time on their wedding night. While wearing a white wedding veil is highly popular in the western countries, the function of the veil is different. The tradition is originated in an effort to fend off evil spirits for the bride before the wedding. The thought is that the evil spirits will see the veil and will not be able to get to the person inside, preserving the bride for the husband. While the groom often wears black clothes and boiled shirts, appearing noble and elegant. As time have changed so fast and the door of our country has been widely open, nowadays a lot of western customs and culture have come into some Chinese people’s minds. Also take brides for example. They wear the western traditional white gown in the daytime for taking photos or taking part in the ceremony, and the Chinese traditional red frock at night for the wedding banquet. While some metropolis people have been tired of those troublesome rules and they pursue some special or exciting forms. More and more modern youths want their weddings to be simple, so does their costume. C. Wedding Ceremonies As it is known to us all, a wedding ceremony is the beginning of a marriage. It can change a person’s life and is divine as a symbol of culture from the view of a country. People think a perfect start makes everything go successfully. This custom goes through various and long stages of development from ancient simple wedding ceremony to the later complex ceremony, from feudal marriage custom to the modern free marriage custom. Marriage custom’s binding does not depend on the law, and it cannot rely on science tests neither, but on the force of habit, traditional culture and national psychology. Thus, people in China and western countries have their own customs of the wedding ceremony. In China, there are some traditional customs that last to today. On the wedding day, the groom comes to the bride’s home. The wedding ceremony starts with the ritual of worshipping the ancestors. Here, the couple bow three times at the ancestral altar. Next, tea will be served by the couple to the bride’s parents who will in turn present the couple with a ‘red packet’. Tea is then served by the wedding couple to the elder siblings and close elder relatives of the bride. The couple bow while serving the tea as a sign of respect and gratitude. The couple will then depart for the groom’s house. When the bride has crossed the threshold of the groom’s house she becomes part of the groom’s family. The ancestor worship and tea serving ceremonies are performed again. When this ceremony is finished, the couple considered are married by traditional Chinese custom. While in most western countries, there are mainly two kinds of weddings, religious and non-religious or civil. Many weddings involve a religious ceremony. These ceremonies vary depending on the religion of the bride and groom. Various religions or denominations have distinctive wedding customs. The presence of a priest and at least two witnesses is essential, as is the expression of consent by the bride and groom. The wedding party enters the church while the wedding march is played with typical rhythm. The bride carrying a bouquet enters last with her father who will "give her away". The groom enters the church from a side door. When the wedding party is gathered by the altar, the bride and groom exchange vows. It is traditional to use the words "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part".7 Following the vows, the couple exchange rings. The minister asks the bride and the groom if they each make this promise to the other and each responds “I do.” Wearing the wedding ring on the fourth finger of the left hand is also an old custom. Sometimes, people can see in the films that the car in which the couple leaves the church is decorated with balloons, streamers and shaving cream. The words "Just Married" are painted on the trunk or back window. The bride and groom run to the car under a shower of rice thrown by the wedding guests. When the couple drives away from the church, friends often chase them in cars, honking and drawing attention to them. And then the couple go on their honeymoon. That’s funny and true. Then, those who are non-religious, would like to have their weddings in commercial wedding chapels or reception halls, courthouses or other governmental offices, or outdoors. These events tend to be smaller and less formal than traditional religious ceremonies. A government-certified, secular official administers the ceremony in the presence of at least two witnesses. Other couples elope—that is, they have a private wedding ceremony that does not involve a gathering of family and friends. Influenced by the different culture, the wedding ceremonies in China and western countries are different. Chinese wedding is more traditional, jubilant and auspicious while west wedding is more open and full of romance and fantasy. However, as the culture between west and east has been blended, more and more people will cast away those old customs, some of which have reference to superstition or religion. It is not so strange now for your friend to phone you to say that he or she got married some days ago but held no such party. D. Wedding Gifts Around the day of the wedding ceremony, most conservative Chinese prefer to give certain lucky money at the wedding banquet to the newlyweds to buy whatever they want. Guests give the bride and groom gifts of cash, stuffed in red packets or envelopes. But in the western countries, it is common for friends to buy the presents to share the cost of their gifts. The new couple will list what they need and let their friends choose one. These presents consist of items useful for the traditional role of wife as homemaker, such as kitchen appliances, crockery, cloth, a sewing machine etc. No matter what friends or parents present, gifts or money will certainly lessen the financial burden on their wedding. And the newlyweds can surely feel the most sincere wishes from the presenters. E. Rituals after Wedding Ceremonies In China, the wedding banquet- the pinnacle of the wedding celebration- is held on the wedding day, usually at night. Guests at the wedding banquet are formally introduced to family members of both families, and will bring a red packet and sign a guestbook. While in the western countries, after the ceremony, there is often a party, called a "reception" which gives the wedding guests an opportunity to congratulate the newlyweds. Wedding banquets in China and “reception” in west are more alike, but they are not the same in details. Wedding banquets may become quite large, often many over a hundred tables, depending on the financial status of the groom’s family. While at the reception friends and family gather to eat, drink, listen to music, dance, make toasts, and give gifts to the bride and groom. The couple typically cut a special, large cake that is shared with all the guests. Traditionally wedding banquets were held at home or home compound. But now the reception is often held in a garden or outside. However nowadays it is usual, for urban Chinese, hold it in a restaurant or hotel. Alcoholic drinks- uncommon in Chinese culture- are considered compulsory at a wedding banquet, and the wedding couple often drink a toast at each table of the banquet. The couple will usually be teased and join in games at the banquet. Now, in the west, a tradition that has evolved is for bride and groom to feed each other a bite of the first piece of wedding cake. Again, a symbolic gesture that is meant to bring the couple luck. The bride and groom may also conduct a receiving line where they greet and thank each guest for attending their wedding. No matter how tired out new couples feel after their wedding, the memory of the ceremony and the congratulations from friends and relatives are the most sweet and unforgettable things in their life. Nowadays, as people have lived a rich life, they will also have their honeymoon soon after their wedding. Most of them will set for the places where they have been longing for and then have their best time. IV. Reasons for the Differences After analyzing the differences on wedding preparation, wedding dress, wedding ceremonies, wedding gifts and rituals after wedding ceremonies in China and western countries. People understand that there are some reasons for those differences. The author will illustrate the causes from the following four aspects. A. Cultural Origins China has a long history with the traditional culture of five thousand years. Etiquettes play an essential role in the Chinese culture. As the code of ethics, the content of the etiquettes are much more complicated. Chinese people emphasize etiquettes in their behaviors since the ancient times. Thus, the traditional Chinese wedding has six etiquettes. The wedding ceremony has some specific procedures. Chinese wedding customs was also characterized by strong feudal politics color. Marriage sometimes was a kind of way to ally in political. In contrast, westerners advocate freedom and independent life, coupled with their quick pace of life, the wedding in the west is simpler than that in China. Take bed making for instance. In feudal society of China, boy was more important than girl, so before wedding, the elder relatives of the bride would spill some Chinese dates, peanuts, longans, lotus on the bed, to mean having a boy as soon as possible. This custom was formed by the influence of strong feudalism in old China, and it still exists in wedding custom today. Moreover, the custom of wedding rings in west is influenced by Bible. "Bible" said that in ancient times, men used to propose to the woman with a ring. Because of this culture influence, wedding rings are one of the things indispensable of the wedding. Wedding rings should be prepared before the wedding, and exchange of rings becomes the necessary step in wedding ceremony. While china has no such customs. B. Religions Most Chinese people believes Buddhism which advocates “sky”.8 In this point of view, worshipping the ancestors is the most important link in the traditional wedding customs. After this ritual, bride and groom should worship their parents as a sign of respect and gratitude, and they can be called couple when they finish those two rituals. In contrast to China, Christianity is by far the most influential in the west. Every phase of man’s life is touched by this religion so much so that it has become part and parcel of western culture. Due to the religion, people in the west believe God, and most people hold the wedding in the church and vow to each other before God. It can be seen that church is important in western people’s eyes, and plays an essential role in the wedding in the west. Priest is the master of wedding ceremony. Priest plays an essential role in it. And marriage is not valid unless the ceremony is hosted by priest. But in China, the matchmaker has played a significant role in marriage. What’s more, the main tone of the whole wedding in China is red, which is also Chinese traditional color that represents pleased spirit. Thus, the bride often wears red coat on the wedding day. The whole wedding is jubilant and auspicious. But the wedding of west differs from east, influenced by Christianity. It belongs to a white wedding. From the aspect of religion, white which symbolizes chasteness, beauty, loftiness, and civility in the west is usually used to decorate the wedding. The traditional white wedding gown, white posy, white veil, and the white cream cake symbolize the innocence of the bride in her preparation for her new husband. Everything is so romantic in the western countries. C. Geographical Locations Different countries have different geography environments, and those differences can influence the habit of people who live in that region, thus, wedding customs are partly influenced by that different geography environments. China’s geography is extremely varied and complex, including mountains, plateaus, plains, grasslands, basins, hills, islands, desert, glaciers, and frozen earth. Mountain areas cover about two-thirds of the total land area. Because of the complex geography, it is difficult for people to drive a car in that mountain areas, so groom must prepare a bridal sedan to fetch his bride in the ancient times. But countries in the west have no such complicated geography. Groom in the west could use car to pick up his bride. However, with the development of the traffic system, people in China like to drive car to fetch bride as well. Besides, the complicated geography of China decides that Chinese people live mainly by farming and live in groups in the old times. Therefore, the idea of collectivism penetrates many aspects of people’s life. So, the wedding banquet is usually held after the wedding ceremony in order to thank the friends and relatives who give the best wishes. The more the guests, the more the jollification. Compared with the Chinese geography, the geography of the western countries are not so complicated. Plain as the main terrain in many western countries, so people in the west haven’t the habit of holding a big banquet, but a party called a “reception” in a grassland which gives the wedding guests an opportunity to congratulate the newlyweds. They do not care about the number of the guests, they just enjoy themselves. D. Marriage Concepts Chinese people once thought that marriage was a kind of ways to enlarge families, protect and enhance family’s reputation and position. Marriage would add a girl of a clan other than one’s own, so marriage was considered as an important event of family instead of one’s own. In the old days of China, the love between the man and the woman was not the first condition of marriage. The youths are not free when choosing their lover. “Behest of parents and proposals of matchmaker”9decided everything about marriage. Therefore, matchmaker played a crucial role in the whole wedding. Only after a matchmaker's introduction and when parents believed that the family conditions of the two could be matched, would the marriage procedures go forward. Conditions that should be taken into consideration included wealth and social status. But in the west, marriage is love’s home to return to. The aim of marriage is to make the woman and the man live together all the life. Marriage is the personal affair, so youths have the right to choose their true love. There is no matchmaker but priest who can master their wedding. They will be asked if they would like to be his or her wife or husband no matter rich or poor, health or sick until die. They have no duty to enlarge family, protect and enhance family’s reputation and position. The marriage just makes them live together. From this point of view, we can see it is fairer and more democratic in the western countries. V. Conclusion Since ancient times, wedding has been considered the biggest events in one’s life. So people attach great important to wedding customs, even now wedding customs become an interesting topic in modern society. It attracts much care of young people. Wedding custom in both China and western countries has some cultural differences. As time goes by, although many wedding customs have experienced various changes, as the basic pattern, “six etiquettes” in China has not changed much. That’s to say proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal presents to the girl’s family, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride are still essential and core in marriage custom. In western countries, a valid marriage should experience proposal, surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding. The differences existing in Chinese and western marriage custom are inevitable. The different cultural origin, religious, geographical locations and marriage concept caused different wedding custom in both China and western countries. These differences maybe will still exist for a long times between Chinese marriage custom and western marriage custom because it is not easy to change a kind of traditional culture or custom which has remains for thousands of years. However, along with the society's progress and the transformation of people's thinking, the life of the people in China and western countries are integrating gradually. Wedding customs mutual penetration between China and western countries. In this paper, the author make a comparative study on the two kinds of wedding customs in China and western countries. From the aspects of analyzing their differences on wedding preparation, wedding dress, wedding ceremonies, wedding gifts and rituals after wedding ceremonies, and then reasons causing these differences are explored. The author expect that people can understand the two different cultures from comparing the differences on wedding customs in china and western countries, and raise their interests in learning different cultures after reading this paper. what’s more, cultivate their sense of intercultural communication and enhance their ability of communication with people have different cultural background.