雅思高分范文(1997-2011)

雅思高分范文(1997-2011) 中国雅思考生高分范文赏析 雅思考生经典 8分范文一 (一) Are zoos necessary? 指导老师:英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Recently there has arisen a heated debate over whether zoos are necessary. People retain diverse attitudes towards this hot issue. Before presenting my view, I intend to discuss both sides of the argument. Advocates of zoos hold the belief that the benefits of zoos to any community are conservational, educational and recreational. To begin with, it is an effective way to preserve some rare animals and endangered species in zoos. The natural environment is no longer a suitable habitat for some species which are on the verge of extinction due to the deterioration of environment and hunting. Zoos help increase the population of endangered species and thus maintain the ecological balance. Moreover, zoos also serve as an ideal scientific research center where scientists can conduct experiments to find out the causes of some diseases that have been troubling animals and discover the cures. In addition, it is also possible that scientists breed more new species. Besides protecting endangered species, zoos play an important role in improving the public knowledge of animals. Animals in zoos keep people in touch with a more natural and animal world. Last of all, zoos are a place of entertainment and recreation. They are also a great tourist attraction which boosts the local tourism. Some other people, however, are strongly against zoos for several sound reasons. Primarily, it is morally wrong to take an animal from its home, confine it in unnatural settings and use it for our entertainment. The nature of zoos reflects a worldwide human arrogance towards other species and fosters a disregard for all life. Furthermore, overcrowding and unnatural groupings of animals can create stress and lead to severe injury and even death and deaths from aggression, disease, stress and ill treatment are common. Worst of all, adults and children visiting zoos will be given the subliminal message that it is OK to use animals for our own ends, though it impinges on their freedom or quality of life; thus zoos will encourage poor treatment of animals more generally. In the final analysis, both sides have sound foundations. However, if asked to make a choice, I will not hesitate to assent to the latter. I believe that animals belong to their natural habitat in the wild and it is a breach of their natural rights to take them by force into captivity for our own purposes; therefore zoos should be discouraged. 范文赏析: 1(文章采用了雅思议论文典型的等分式结构( COUNTER-ARGUMENT)。第一段开 门见山，引出争论的话 题 快递公司问题件快递公司问题件货款处理关于圆的周长面积重点题型关于解方程组的题及答案关于南海问题 :动物园有没有存在的必要,第二和第三段对争论双方的论点 和论据进行了详尽的阐述，最后一段 总结 初级经济法重点总结下载党员个人总结TXt高中句型全总结.doc高中句型全总结.doc理论力学知识点总结pdf ，表明作者的立场。文章结构完整，论证全面 客观。 2(整篇文章的关键部位均能较好地运用套句，为读者指明文章发展的方向。恰当地使用 这些佳句，一方面起到 SIGNPOST的作用，同时使文章条理清晰，层次感强。 3(文章用词多样化，句式各异。作者对复杂句式把握得恰倒好处，善于换用不同的表达 方式，用词精确。 4(能够熟练运用十大原则进行构思，较好地吸收了《最新雅思考试胜策 -写作》中的观 点和词汇。 经典高分范文二 TOPIC Do as the Romans do when in Rome? 作者:欧杨(华南师范大学学生)雅思写作 8分得主 指导老师:英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Recently, the debate over whether people who have been in a foreign country should accept the new culture or form a separate minority with different values and lifestyle has aroused wide concern. People retain diverse attitudes towards this hot issue. Before presenting my view, I intend to explore both sides of the argument. Many people claim that people living in a new country should accept the new culture and adapt to their new environment. To begin with, by accepting the new notions and lifestyle, you can easily survive and enjoy a comfortable life and be well adaptable. Moreover, it is a necessity for overseas students to adapt to the new culture and society, because it may impose an adverse influence on their living and study if they cannot be socially adaptable. Furthermore, to form a separate minority may bring out negative outcomes such as hostility and resentment. It will undoubtedly exert a negative impact on relationship between people from different nations. Some other people, however, strongly hold that it is necessary to form a group with their own values and lifestyle for several sound reasons. Firstly, they are in a foreign country and are actually a minority with little power, many of which even have no equal rights. Therefore, it is wise for them to join together to enhance their strength to cope with social problems. Secondly, by helping each other in the group, people can adapt to the new community and society more easily and lead a better life. Thirdly, students in a new environment may more or less have physical or psychological problems, so it is helpful for students to get together to help each other. From the above discussion, we can see that there is actually some truth in both statements. Personally, I am in favor of the former view. Adaptability is an important quality for people especially students who are going abroad to further their education. After all, even if you form a separate minority, you still have to accept the new culture and adapt to the new settings. 专家点评 1.篇章结构合理，布局错落有致。第一段引出话题，第二和第三段分别陈述正反双方意 见，最后一段采用“卒章显志”的手法。(结尾才表达作者的明确立场)层次清晰，逻 辑严密，说服力强。 2.遣词到位, 用词精准，搭配合理。善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。如: in a foreign country，in a new country，in a new environment，adapt to，socially adaptable，adaptability, different values and lifestyle, new notions and lifestyle, new culture and new settings等。 3.句式有繁有简，体现较强的语言驾驭能力。语法功底扎实，表达清楚，文字连贯。(四 个宾语从句、三个定语从句、三个状语从句、一个并列句) 4.路标明显。能准确运用英赛特雅思课堂讲授的经典表达方式和信号词，整篇文章一气 呵成，浑然一体。笔者一贯提倡的“个性化八股文”再次得到淋漓尽致的体现。 欧扬同学为非英语专业考生，取得写作 8分的优异成绩，实属难能可贵。他的优异成绩 说明，通过自身的努力，系统的 培训 焊锡培训资料ppt免费下载焊接培训教程 ppt 下载特设培训下载班长管理培训下载培训时间表下载 和名师的点拨，非英专考生一样能取得雅思写作高 分～ 经典 8分范文之三 TOPIC Space research: an elusive dream? 作者莫东一 (中山大学学生 ) 指导老师:英赛特雅思吴建业 There is evidence that a growing number of countries have been investing an astronomical sum of money in space exploration over the past decades. Whether space research is worthwhile has always been an issue of controversy. Some scientists and politicians firmly believe that it is of great significance to probe into the outer space. First and foremost, the instinct to explore is fundamentally human and mankind is eager to expand its horizons. The desire to know what lies beyond current knowledge, is one of our noblest characteristics. Moreover, the exploitation of outer space has found some important applications, greatly changing our world. As an illustration, satellites orbiting the Earth allow us to communicate instantaneously with people on different continents, and to broadcast to people all over the world. A further example is the Global Positioning System that allows us to pinpoint our location anywhere in the world. Last of all, space exploration is an investment in the future. Our world is rapidly running out of resources and overpopulation could become a serious worldwide threat. Space research is the solution to all these perplexing issues. Many others, however, are strongly opposed to the outer space exploration programs claiming that it is an extravagant and elusive dream. Economically, space exploration is a waste of resources. It would be far better to devote similar resources to projects with worthier goals – for instance cancer research, or research into renewable energy sources to tackle the depletion of resources. Furthermore, a huge proportion of our world is still struggling on the poverty line, suffering from hunger, disease and illiteracy. We should feed these people rather than pursue something with less tangible benefits. A world free from disease, a world where no one lives in hunger, would be a great accomplishment. Why not use the time, energy and money on the improvement of the earth environment, which is closely linked to human life. In the final analysis, there is some truth in both sides. While I admit that it costs an astronomical sum of money and a huge portion of human resources to carry out the space research, I would argue that it is still worthwhile and should be encouraged. As Captain Ajax said, “the sooner we spread out, the sooner we are safe from extinction.” 专家点评 1(布局合理 本文采用了雅思议论文写作经典的等分( for and against)结构。第一段第一句话开门 见山引出讨论的话题，第二句表明存在不同的 意见 文理分科指导河道管理范围浙江建筑工程概算定额教材专家评审意见党员教师互相批评意见 ，为过渡句，为正文段的正反意见作 铺垫。简明扼要，开宗明义。 2(路标明显 全文能准确运用老师课堂讲授的经典表达方式和信号词，进行个性化改装。文章条理清 晰，层次感强。 3(语法扎实 按照 9，2作文法的要求，准确运用各种句式，没有出现低级语法小错。体现较强的语 言能力。(一个同位语从句、五个宾语从句、一个状语从句、四个定语从句、一个主语 从句) 4(遣词精准 准确运用写作十大原则环保和经济类核心词汇，善于换用不同表达方式，用词贴切，准 确。如 the exploitation of outer space, space exploration, Space research, the outer space exploration programs, probe into the outer space; a huge proportion of, a huge portion of; explore, expand its horizons等。 经典 8分范文之四 TOPIC Should children be given pocket money? With the sharp increase in the average family income, parents tend to give their children a handsome sum of allowance. Undoubtedly, with such a big amount of money, children can enjoy a more colorful life; however, we have to admit that pocket money also produces some negative effects on the growth of children. As a result there has been always a fierce argument over giving spending money to children. From some parents’ point of view, giving children some pocket money has numerous pros. Above everything else, it helps raise a money savvy child because children will understand the value of money and learn how to use the money responsibly. Secondly, children learn to set goals and plan for the future. Thirdly, pocket money helps children develop a correct sense of responsibility and learn to make decision on one’s own. By giving children an allowance you are giving them the responsibility to spend their own money the way they want. On the other hand, some teachers and parents are opposed to giving children allowance. To start with, children are likely to foster a money-oriented mentality. The obsession with the idea of making more money corrupts children’s mind. Secondly, Children may primp and compare their allowance with their peers, thus leading to some psychological effects. Besides, the money may be used in an improper way such as playing games, gambling or even drug-taking. It is quite natural that people retain diverse attitudes towards pocket money. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of giving children some pocket money. Money is something everyone has to deal with sometime in their life, and how they handle their finances can impact every aspect of their life. It is necessary for parents to teach their children about the value of money, saving and responsibility. 范文赏析: 1( 文章采用了雅思议论文典型的等分式结构(COUNTER-ARGUMENT)。第一段 开门见山，引出争论的话题:有没有必要给小孩零花钱,第二和第三段对争论双方的论 点和论据进行了详尽的阐述，最后一段总结，表明作者的立场。文章结构完整，论证全 面客观。 2(整篇文章的关键部位均能较好地运用套句，为读者指明文章发展的方向，标黑体的部 分为套句。恰当地使用这些佳句，一方面起到 SIGNPOST的作用，同时使文章条理清晰，层次感强。 3(文章用词多样化，句式各异。作者对复杂句式把握得恰倒好处，善于换用不同的表达 方式，用词精确。 经典 8分范文之五 Topic Is it justified to censor violent and pornographic TV programs and films so as to reduce crime? 作者蔡迎博(广东外语外贸大学学生)指导老师:英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Prompted by some incidents of television-and-film-inspired crimes, the issue of whether the government should control the amount of violence in films and on television has been a contentious discussion. Views on the topic vary greatly. Advocates claim that violence in films and on television is detrimental to audience’s psychology. Taking fantasy for reality, people become aggressive and eccentric. They believe things can be solved by violence. In addition, violence has negative impacts on the stability of society. Research findings reveal that 60 percent of crimes are committed by teenagers after watching films or television which consist of a large amount of violence. Teenagers are so vulnerable and immature that they cannot judge whether the activities performed in mass media are right or not. As an illustration, a boy killed his younger sister in Australia because he imitated the violent scenes from television programs. However, opponents argue that the practice of controlling the amount of violence in mass media is a brazen violation of the people’s basic right to know the truth of the world. For example, some films contain some violence, but they reflect the things happening around us. Rather than producing negative effects on audience, to some extent, these films educate them. Furthermore, violence in films or on television programs cultivates people’s senses of crisis and responsibility, which makes ordinary people and police work better for public security. Consequently, it is irresponsible and foolish to blame the media for violence in our society. In my opinion, the disadvantages of controlling the amount of violence in media outweigh the advantages. But I believe the government should label how much violence the programs contain on the screens, and parents and teachers have responsibility to guide their children and help them to distinguish right from wrong when they watch violent programs. 专家点评 一、 篇章结构合理。采用过去分词短语开头，新颖、独特，引人入胜。文章结构完整、 紧凑，毫无拖沓之感。 二、 论证详实有力，层次分明;逻辑严密，说服力强。第二段引用权威数据和例子来支 持论点。 三、 语法扎实，体现较强的语言驾驭能力。长短句结合，错落有致。(六个宾语从句、 两个定语从句、三个状语从句、两个并列句、两个分词短语) 四、 遣词精当，言简意赅。表达清楚，文字连贯。 经典 8分范文之六 TOPIC Pros and cons of job switching 作者何锦坤(英赛特雅思学员)指导老师英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Due to the fierce competition and heavy pressure, job-hopping has already become a fashion in the workforce. As to whether people should be encouraged to change their jobs frequently, there arises a contentious discussion. Personally I am convinced that it is irrational to hop from job to job. It is undeniable that job-hopping is becoming a growing trend in today’s workforce. Moving from job to job every couple of years is looked upon as a way to move upward in responsibility quickly and keep skills fresh and up to date. However we shall never underestimate the demerits of changing jobs too often. Tradition tells us those who spend years and years at one job, in one office, in one city are stable. Often, stability equals success. Moreover, if you were a chronic job-hopper, people may be questioning your integrity and loyalty. It is not a good thing to possess resumes that reveal very short tenures with a string of employers. Employers don't like to see resumes filled with short-term jobs. They would rather hire a person who has commitment and devotion to an employer. Job switching too rapidly makes employers think the individual cannot get promoted, isn’t reliable, cannot be a team member, or is so egotistical or self-centered that no job can meet his or her expectations. Last of all, changing jobs too frequently may give rise to a sense of insecurity and instability, which exerts negative effects on job-hoppers’ physical and mental health. From the above discussion, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that it is not always advisable to hop from job to job. An old saying may well illustrate my view, “Jack of all trades and master of none.” 专家点评 1.结构合理，重点突出，说服力强。本文采用了一面倒结构:第一段引出讨论话题，开 门见山表明自己的立场;第二段用较少的篇幅承认对方观点的合理性;第三段采用较大 篇幅阐述自己的看法;最后一段作者巧妙地引用英语谚语来重申自己的立场。 2.句式多样，有繁有简，语法功底扎实。因为 句子 关于阅读的唯美句子关于古风的唯美句子执行力的经典句子鼓励人努力奋斗的句子用沉默代替一切的句子 的长短和句子中修饰语的运用，往往 标志着作者语言的成熟程度。本文能交替使用长短句式，文脉自然而清晰。(四个宾语 从句、三个定语从句、一个同位语从句、一个主语从句、两个状语从句) 3.路标明显，层次感强。作者熟练巧妙运用《 7分写作单项班》上所学套句，进行个性 化改装，不露痕迹。 4.用词精确，搭配合理。善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。如:job-hopping, job switching, change jobs, moving from job to job, hop from job to job; irrational, advisable等。 经典 8分范文之七 TOPIC Severe punishment: the best solution to traffic violation? 作者赖敏玲(广东外语外贸大学学生)指导老师英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Recent years have witnessed a worsening trend in road safety. According to statistics from the local authority, the number of traffic accidents in 2004 was 20% greater than that of the previous year. The issue is gaining more and more concern of the public, some of whom propose that stricter punishment on traffic offenders should be the only way to ensure road safety. As far as I am concerned, I hold that punishment should not be only solution to the problem. There is certainly no denying that stricter penalties may to some extent bring down the number of accidents on motorways as a deterrent to driving offences. Besides, the government may enjoy a greater revenue from severer fines, which can in turn be used to improve road conditions. However, we shall never overlook the other side of the coin: punishment has its downsides. Fines, as the most common penalty for driving violations, tend to instill in people the misconception that money can pay off their guilt and resolve the problem. As a result, we can see many cases where the traffic offender commits the same or another mistake even after having been fined a lot. In spite of heavier punishment, road safety cannot be enhanced unless drivers are equipped with sufficient driving skills and knowledge. Recently there have emerged many irresponsible driving schools that have produced a host of unqualified drivers, contributing to more traffic offences. Thus tight control on driving schools and the driving testing system is needed as well to improve road safety. Furthermore, advertisements and campaigns concerned should be launched to raise the public awareness. When people are fully aware of the importance of abiding traffic rules, accidents may hopefully be eliminated. From the above discussion, it is clear that only stricter punishment is not enough to enhance road safety. Instead, it should go hand in hand with closer control on driving schools and the testing system as well as higher public awareness. 专家点评 结构合理，重点突出，层次清晰，逻辑严密，说服力强。作者模仿《雅思写作应试技法》 job-hopping的范文结构，采用了一面倒的其中一种形式:在第一段引用数据，引起读者 对交通问题的重视。开门见山提出对方观点，同时表明自己的立场;第二段用较少的篇 幅承认对方观点的合理性，而第三段采用较大篇幅阐述自己的看法;最后一段进行总结。 句式多样，语法功底扎实。作者不断变化句式，有繁有简，因为句子的长短和句子中修 饰语的运用，往往标志着作者语言的成熟程度。本文能交替使用长短句式，文脉自然而 清晰。(四个定语从句、两个宾语从句、两个同位语从句、一个主语从句、两个状语从 句、一个倒装句和四个被动句)路标明显，层次感强。作者熟练巧妙运用课堂上所学套 句，进行个性化改装，不露痕迹。笔者一贯提倡的“个性化八股文”在本文得到淋漓尽 致的体现。 用词精确，搭配合理，善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。如:improve road safety, enhance road safety, raise the public awareness, ensure road safety, bring down the number, traffic offences, traffic violation, severe punishment, stricter penalty, heavier punishment, 等等。句与句，甚至段与段的粘着性和连贯性得以加强。 赖敏玲同学为英语专业考生，写作取得全国少见的 8分的优异成绩，实属不易。她的优 异成绩再次体现华南语言名校――广外的实力。 经典 8分范文之八 TOPIC Should our government subsidize artists, musicians and drama companies? 曾显睿(英赛特雅思学员)指导老师英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Some people strongly hold that it is vital for a democracy to honor and preserve its multicultural artistic heritage as well as support new ideas, and therefore it is essential to provide financial assistance to its artists and the organizations that support their work. It is undeniable that the arts are essential to our country’s cultural, educational, and economic life and the well being of all of its citizens. However, I do not think art funding is a wise way for the following reasons. First and foremost, it is a great waste of taxpayers’ hard-earned money to finance artists and musicians. There's no point in spending large amounts of taxpayers' money on arts when we have more pressing needs, such as health care and social services. Absolutely no taxpayers' funds should be spent on the arts. It should be self-funded by those who want to indulge in this or by public or private donation. It is not the function of government to fund any such thing. Arts funding is nothing short of taxpayer-funded entertainment for the rich. Secondly, government and art make a noxious brew. Artists will wither and the funding is the eulogies for the creative arts. Government money stifles creativity and produces "art" that's hokey and hortatory. Good artists do not need state backing to thrive. The market is not a perfect machine for producing great art, but it's far better than government. Lastly, subsidized art reflects the political views of the government officials who fund it. The funding may deny artists and musicians access to the avenues of free expression because the artists who get the funding are subject to political constraints and are chosen by political appointees with their own agendas. In brief, it is clear that government funding is hazardous to artistic health. If we care about expression, freedom, and fairness, we need to object to government funding of the arts. Tax money should be used only to provide essential services that most people could never realistically or ethically provide for themselves. 范文赏析: 1(文章由五段组成，属于典型的一面倒结构 (THROUGH-ARGUMENT)。第一段先陈述对方观点，承认其可取之处，然后笔锋一转， 表明作者的立场。 2(正文由三段组成，提供了详实的论据来支持作者的论点。立场鲜明，重点突出。 3(整篇文章的关键部位均能较好地运用套句，为读者指明文章发展的方向，标黑体的部 分为套句。恰当地使用这些佳句，一方面起到 SIGNPOST的作用，同时使文章条理清 晰，层次感强。 4(文章用词多样化，句式各异。作者对复杂句式把握得恰倒好处，善于换用不同的表达 方式，用词精确。 经典 8分范文之九 TOPIC Violence begets violence The increasing casualty of police officers on duty has given rise to a fierce debate over whether police should be routinely armed. Some security experts propose that as armed violence has increased sharply in parts of the developed world, it is a more appropriate response to contemporary problems for the government to allocate a greater portion of government revenue to arm police officers. Admittedly, the global increase in gun ownership, indeed increases the risks to frontline police officers of being the victims of gun crime. However, I can hardly approve of the proposal for the following reasons. To start with, routine arming of police escalates violence and makes the world a more dangerous one to live in. It has been proved that where the police are not routinely armed, a proportion of criminals will not arm themselves because there is no such a need. Once the police are armed, criminals who do not match their capability operate under a strong disadvantage. Therefore, when the police become routinely armed, the criminal world fully arms itself in response. Furthermore, despite the fact that lethal weaponry as a symbol of authority facilitates policing, it is regarded as a potent symbol of possible brutality, which alienates police officers from the general public. This can undermine the ability of the police to be seen as a key constituent part of civil society. Worst of all, even with intensive training given to armed officers, mistakes sometimes occur and innocent people are shot, either by mistake because the armed officers are acting on inaccurate information, or because they are bystanders caught in the cross-fire of a shoot-out. What’s more, abuse of arms is not uncommon. In the final analysis, the risks of routinely arming the police far outweigh the benefits. I firmly believe that it is unnecessary to do so. What is actually needed is more effort in preventing crime through detective work and policing strategy rather than focusing on responding to it. Nor does arming the police offer a solution to fundamental socio-political issues which contribute to crime. 专家点评 一、 结构合理，重点突出。 层次清晰，逻辑严密，说服力强。作者模仿《雅思倒计时 -写作》 Office romance的范 文结构，采用了一面倒的其中一种形式:在第一段引出对方观点，承认对方观点的合理 性，然后笔锋一转，表明自己的立场;正文三段详细阐述自己的看法;最后一段进行总 结，重申自己的立场。 二、 句式多样，有繁有简。 语法功底扎实，不断变化句式，文脉自然而清晰。句子的长短和句子中修饰语的运用， 往往标志着作者语言的成熟程度。(三个定语从句、三个宾语从句、一个同位语从句、 二个主语从句、四个状语从句、一个倒装句和两个并列句) 三、 路标明显，层次感强。 作者熟练巧妙运用课堂上所学套句，进行个性化改装，不露痕迹。笔者一贯提倡的“个 性化八股文”在本文得到淋漓尽致的体现。 四、 用词精确，搭配合理。 善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。如:police officers，police，frontline police officers; routine arming，be routinely armed，arm police officers weaponry; armed officers;give rise to , contribute to等等。 经典 9分范文之十 TOPIC Tears: the last drop of water we count on! 作者吴丽瑾(中山大学硕士研究生)指导老师英赛特雅思写作主讲陈孝宗 Water, which for millions of years supported multiple uses by all life forms, has in the past few decades experienced increasing pressures. Today, one third of the world population already faces serious water shortages, and the World Meteorological Organization predicts the situation will worsen, and that a billion people will face severe water shortages in a little more than twenty years. Fresh water scarcity has been in the limelight, for without a steady supply of clean, fresh water, all life, including humankind, would cease to exist. Why are we confronted with such an acute fresh water shortage? Factors likely to contribute to it include population growth, pollution, climatic change and unsustainable rates of water withdrawal. To begin with, the explosion in human population and increasing human demands for water are likely to worsen water shortages. Moreover, pollution of existing freshwater supplies exacerbates water constraints and shortages. Surface water and groundwater pollution effectively decreases the quantity of usable freshwater. Many of the world’s lakes, large rivers, and most of its estuaries have been contaminated with industrial, municipal, and agricultural runoff and effluent discharges. Also, some researchers have identified potential linkages between changes in the earth’s climate and water availability. Lastly, the perception that we are blessed with an abundance of fresh water has led to misuse and abuse of the resource. In order to resolve this problem constructively, it is recommended that countries conserve water, pollute less, manage supply and demand of water better and slow population growth. More environmentally friendly and sustainable methods for managing our water supply should be adopted. As an individual, be aware of and follow all water conservation and water shortage rules in effect in your community. Don’t assume - even if you get your water from a private well - that you need not observe good water use rules. Every drop counts. To avoid catastrophe, it is important to act now. By using water more efficiently or reducing where appropriate, we protect the resource now and for the future. Citizens in the world can be guaranteed a plentiful supply of fresh, life-sustaining water for themselves, for their children and generations of the earth's inhabitants to come. 专家点评 1.篇章结构合理，布局错落有致。 本文属于雅思作文的 discussion类型。第一段通过事实数据说明淡水短缺的严重性，引 起读者的关注;第二段分析造成水资源短缺的原因;第三段提出应对方法;最后一段总 结和呼吁。层次清晰，逻辑严密，说服力强。 2.遣词到位精准，用词搭配合理。 准确运用十大原则的环保类核心词汇，善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。 如:water shortages, Fresh water scarcity, an acute fresh water shortage, water constraints; serious, severe, acute; exacerbate, worsen, decrease; a plentiful supply, an abundance of fresh water;contribute to，lead to等。 3.句式有繁有简，语言驾驭能力强。 语法功底扎实，表达清楚，文字连贯。(一个同位语从句、一个定语从句、一个状语从 句、一个并列句、一个主语从句、两个宾语从句) 4.段落路标明显，文章层次感强。 准确运用老师课堂讲授的经典表达方式和信号词，充分吸收《最新雅思考试胜策—写作》 中的经典表达，整篇文章一气呵成，浑然一体。笔者一贯提倡的“个性化八股文”再次 得到淋漓尽致的体现。 经典 8分范文之十一 TOPIC Killing language is killing culture Pandas and bald eagles are endangered species, and many people would know that. But, how many people know that Aborigine is an endangered language and that Beothuk is a language that went extinct in the colonial period? At a pace no less fierce than that of the destruction of the environment and the extinction of species of flora and fauna, human languages too are beginning to vanish all over the world. In recent years, the disappearance of languages and cultures has aroused people’s wide concern. Statistics show that by the end of the twenty-first century, half of the approximately 6,000 languages spoken in the world today will have died, and fully 95 percent could die out or be on the way to extinction. What factors contribute to this phenomenon? Firstly, we know that cultures are dynamic and, thus, it is in the nature of a culture to both change and adapt itself to differing world atmospheres and to adapt global trends to itself. Moreover, languages become extinct when a community finds itself under pressure to integrate with a larger or more powerful group. Most importantly, developments in communications technology are often blamed for being the vehicle upon which the wave of cultural globalization rides. In view of the significance of language and culture conservation, we shall take some timely steps to prevent them from disappearing. First of all, the government should take important steps to promote and publicize the variety and uniqueness of our heritage while heightening awareness of our heritage and celebrating our cultural diversity. An Aboriginal Languages and Cultures Center should be created to preserve, revitalize and enhance Aboriginal languages and cultures. Secondly, linguists should work with communities around the world that want to preserve their languages, offering both technical and practical help with language teaching, maintenance, and revival. We should set up a database for archiving languages to prevent them from being lost completely. Lastly, children should be encouraged to speak other languages in addition to their native tongues. It would not be a good thing for language to disappear because it represents our culture. We have inherited it from our ancestors. If it were to be lost, nothing would be left from the past and our brothers would not know each other. So let’s endeavor to preserve it. 专家点评 1(结构合理，布局有致。 本文属于典型的DISCUSSION。第一段通过类比描述语言文化消失的现状，引起读者的 关注;第二段具体分析造成该现象的原因;第三段提出相应的对策;最后进行总结和呼 吁。 2(路标明显，层次感强。 整篇文章的关键部位均能较好地运用套句，为读者指明文章发展的方向。恰当地使用这 些佳句，一方面起到 SIGNPOST的作用，同时令文章条理清晰，层次感强。 3(遣词精准，搭配合理 准确运用写作十大原则的文化词汇，善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。 如:endangered species, endangered language; go extinct, vanish, disappear, die out; cultural diversity, cultural globalization; heritage; preserve, revitalize and enhance; be on the way to extinction, disappearance extinction, destruction等。 4(句式各异，把捏自如 对复杂句式把握得恰倒好处，善于换用不同的表达方式。交替使用长短句式，文脉自然 而清晰。(四个并列句、三个定语从句、三个宾语从句、三个状语从句) 7分范文之十二 TOPIC The unemployment problem of college graduates 作者黎晓莹(暨南大学学生)指导老师英赛特雅思写作主讲吴建业 Recent years have witnessed a worsening situation in youth unemployment. According to a survey by local authority, the number of young people who were out of work was 5% greater in 2005 than that in the previous year. This issue is gaining greater concern of the public, so I am to analyze this problem in this essay. The shrinking job market leads to a series of problems for individuals and the society. For one thing, many young people lose their confidence after application being turned down repeatedly. It’s not uncommon to hear that a graduate commits suicide because of the heavy pressure from the job-market. For another, the stability of the society is undermined by the increasing laid-offs. The youth crime rate is going up as a result of the fact that some irritable young guys who can’t find a job go astray and resort to some antisocial behaviors. Confronted with this thorny problem, we should not look on with folded arms. Instead, an array of measures should be adopted. For individuals, we should set a reasonable goal according to our ability and avoid becoming a person with high mark and low ability. In terms of the society, the government should encourage enterprises to offer more job openings for young people. It’s necessary to give guidance on career for the students who are leaving school and help them out of the depression of job-hunting. Moreover, some re-training courses can also enhance the professional skills to meet the need of different fields. As what I have mentioned above, the issue of youth unemployment will become increasingly serious if we don’t pay enough attention to it. Therefore, the individual and the society have to work hand in hand to tackle this pressing problem. 专家点评 1(篇章结构合理，布局错落有致。 本文属于雅思作文的 discussion类型。第一段通过事实数据引出大学生 就业难问题;第二段说明可能导致的负面影响;第三段提出解决方案;最后 一段总结和呼吁。层次清晰，逻辑严密，说服力强。 2(遣词到位精准，用词搭配合理。 善于换用同义或近义表达避免重复，使行文紧凑。如: unemployment, out of work; issue, problem; an array of, a series of; pressing problem, thorny problem等。 3(句式有繁有简，语言驾驭能力强。 语法功底扎实，表达清楚，文字连贯。(一个同位语从句、三个定语从句、一个状语从 句、一个并列句) 4(段落路标明显，文章层次感强。 准确运用老师课堂讲授的经典表达方式和信号词，充分吸收《最新雅思考试胜策—写作》 中的经典表达，整篇文章一气呵成，浑然一体。