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首页 糗百经典(Embarrassing the classic)

糗百经典(Embarrassing the classic).doc

糗百经典(Embarrassing the classic)

Sylvia蕊蕊
2018-09-24 0人阅读 举报 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《糗百经典(Embarrassing the classic)doc》,可适用于社会民生领域

糗百经典(Embarrassingtheclassic)糗百经典(Embarrassingtheclassic)IhaveacousinwhospeaksdirectlyCutOnedaygotothevegetablemarkettowanttobuychickenleg,thencometothechickenshoptosaytotheboss:"bossyousellchickenhavefrontlegnot,givemetwo!"Thebosssmiledandsaid,"thechickenthatIsellonlyhasleftandrightlegsDoyoulookelsewhere"I'mahighschoolstudentCuthisdickTherewasaclassmateintheclass,bloodseasickness,veryserious,justseethebloodallsoftthatkindAmomentago,everybodychattogetdizzyblood,Iinthesameplacesay:yousaydonXX(dizzybloodoftheelderbrothers),seeavirginredcanbeimpotentAndtheclasswasboilingAndthehusbandtogethertemporarilytolearncooking,doadishboiledmeat,honeytastessilenceforawhileaskedmehowmuchsalt,Isaidin"around"literallyputsomefood,husbandsaidthatthenexttimeyoujusthalfamonthHalfamonthwillbefineTakethebustodayandfillitupWhenthetwomenstoodbymysideandthewomancoughed,IwassosorrythatIwasreadytogiveupmyseat,soIpattedthemanandasked,"isshesick"Theman'sfaceinstantlyrigid,weakreturn:"youTMDissick!"IrememberonemorningwhenItookataxiBeusefulandcutIgotintothebackofthetaxiandcaughtaglimpseoftwobaoziinabagintheseatAtthismomentthedriverasked:whereTheelderbrotherdidnotknowwhichnervetosmoke,comeasentence:twobaoziThedriverwasatalossMybrotherfeltsoashamedthatheranashegotoffthetrainTheroarofthedriver'sbigbrotherwasflickeringinthewind:itwasthelaborofthebreakfast!!!Sorry,bigbrother!Iconcave!!!Myintelligenceistoolow!!!Vacuumflaskteainuseformorethanamonth,inthebottletobottleSomethinglikeasieve,Isubconsciouslywhenthenmaketheteapot,alwaysputtheteainthescreen,andthenadrinkisamouthtea,justsuddenlyaflashofinspiration,placingtheteadirectlyintothecuplidonscreenagain,nimacandirectlybubble,alsowon'tdrinkteaintoyourmouth!Nima!!!!!Amonth!Iamretarded!!!!!Heavytaste,ahighschoolabrotherbrokenhearted,haodeepintotears,ofallcomfort,hecriedandsaid,howcanyouunderstandasluggingisonemeter,beprematurelygrey,'slinebetweentheears,andthetypeoflegwomandumpedthepain!!!!!!!!!!!WeweresilentThinkit'sveryembarrassingdayshoppingmallshopping,cash,creditcard,thecashierwillnaturallycalculatorlostpasswordforme,atthattimeIalsodidn'twatchcarefully,isjustabovetheinputpassword,alsocooperatetopressthedowntozero,theprinteralongwhilenotinvoice,thecashierlookedupatme:pleaseenterthepasswordandpressokIreplied:Itypedit!Atthattimethecashierthoughtthemachinewasbroken,andrepeateditthreetimes,nexttoabeautifulwomanangry,youtwoplayenoughCanacalculatoralsoenterapasswordIhadbraindamagewiththecashier!Daughterbecauseofthenaughty,theteachertookawayhermidteamleadermark,bettertosaytoher,stilltheteacherinafewdays,daughterhadtobe,theteachersaid,knowwrong,alsowanttodotheclasscadreThedaughtersaiditwasoktobethecaptainThekeyisthatthesignismyowntwodollarstobuy,theteacherfainted!GiggleModernchildrenaremuchhappierAlittleboyinmyuncle'sshopisgoingtobuyanearmasktodayThere'sapinkThereisayellowYellowhe'scarryingalittlebitofHisfatheraskedhimtobuyapinkPinkwithperfectHisdadsaysthepinkOkNoone'slookingatyouThelittleboysaidHowcomenobody'slookingatmeYouwearadressandgoshoppingToday,Iwenttotheinterviewwithaclassmatewhowasinterviewing,andtheinterviewerasked,"whatistheworkingprincipleoftheelectronicengine"Theclassmate:"abruptabruptabrupt"Atthispointtheinterviewerisangry,thenshout:"stop"thechildshoe:"suddenabrupt"BrotherandhiswifeML,putthewaistupTheelderbrotherAccompanyhimtohospitaltoday,doctor:howdoyouflashyourwaistBrother:erIt'smovingstuffThedoctorlookedatitandsaid:oh,it'salittlespecialIt'salittlespecialMycousinisinthefirstgradeofprimaryschoolthisyear,andtheschoolorganizesthereadingcontestOnedaytheheadteacherlistenedtothewholeclasstoreadtherehearsalandsaid,"pleasetakeoutyourlevelwhenreciting"CutThenextday,theheadteachercametothestage"children,let'sreadthebrush"thewholeclasstookoutthewaterbottleandsetitonthetableAlargetablepersoneat,onthewaytipsyinwanttowithlgshowalove,hughisfacefiercekiss,lgabandonsay,youeverytimeonekissme,thatpieceappointwantblainblain,seethisyesterdaykissYourmouthispoisonous,Iangrilyscold:youdon'tputthep,theoldniangmouth,thatyoujjhowdoesnothavechickenpox,thejjhowdoesnothavechickenpox,etcWhyatablepersonpetrifiedOneisamedicinecolleague,onesidegiveherfathertoburnpapertoonesidelamentingthecurrentbusinessisnotgoodtodo,say:fatherah,Isendyoutwohundredmillion,youreturntwopointstome!SendasecondclassWanttocutDon'tInthemorning,theteacherdidnotknowwhattosayWhoknowsthatthetwogoodsreturnto"thegundozentheperson"Mybrotherwon'tbeabletoWhynotTherearetwoextremelygoodmeninthedormitoryThepainwascutAdayinbedtalksaboutIQ"MyIQwasinhighschool,"saidA"Youcaneyeballit,"saidMrBSuddenlywholedormitoryisboiling!!!!!!Mycolleaguesaid,thebeautyinmyeyesisapieceofshit,amomentofworship,thensay,IamlikeamaggotsintheinsidedrilltodrilldownInthenextclass,amalestudentlikesagirl,ineveryone'sencouragementtosayHecalledthegirloutandhewasnervouswhenitwastimetospeakHemeanttosaythatIlikedyou,becausehewassonervousthathetrembledatthegirlDoyoulikemeThegirlwasspeechlessLastyeartoday,mywedding,abigfatgirl,daughterinlawdaughterinlawsaidnottoletweight,bawdymantogetherletmeembracedaughterinlaw,afewroundsdown,feeldizzy,holdingthedaughterinlawastaggereddownthefriendThescreamsofthewholeneighborhood,myquarrelsomedaughterinlawbroketwooftheribs,andIcouldseeclearlyfromtheman'seyesthathewantedtokillmeInthegrocerysection,therewasafightbetweenhusbandandwifeinthemiddleofthenightThewomankeptontalkingandthemanwassilentforalongtimeTwohourslater,themanfinallysuffocated,thecupjilted,thedrinkway:"Igotoyourmamaofwuxiangspicyandhot!"Whyredalertcallredalert,butnotringBecausethenstarcraftwouldcryTheboyfriendsaidthatIgavehimanygiftshewouldnotwanttouse,tocollecthislife,untilheisoldornewIsaytospecialtwo,thatIgiveyou,youdon'twillingtouse,seeyouoldIstillnew!HerboyfriendhavenolanguageWhenIwasinjuniorhighschool,thetoiletintheschoolwasarowofcraters,men'stoiletsandwomen'stoiletswereonlyonewall!BackgroundFirstaftertheSpringFestival,lzchuaithisdoublebangfirecrackerinthemen'stoiletlightwillbethrownladiesroomnextdoor,andthenthelzlightoutofthetoiletdoor,afterthreeseconds,explosionsandscreamsringoutatthesametime,,,,canyouimaginethegirlscarrypantswhilescreamingoutsiderunningtothetoilet,andthetoiletshitflowersscatteredsceneTheresultishelplesspainlzbesuspendedlessonweek!Oneofthebrothers,whenhewaslivinginahotel,shookWeChat,andfoundalotofyoungladiesaroundhimHehadacasualchat:canyousendapictureThegirlgaveittoher,EmmaAskedtheprice,itwasalittleexpensiveSoask:cansendanudephotographnotTheinnergirlalsohairThenhesaid:thanks!I'lljusttakeyourpicturesandrollthemtonightThenhisWeChatnewswentonanight,andhewasscoldedbypeoplefromthesinglecellformLaughdie~~InhighschoolCutofftheheadteacherOnedayhecamestormingintotheclassroom,said:"Idon'tsayyourpuppylove,ok,margie,Itubenot,lovezhazhadrops,canyoudon'twearschooluniformstozaschoolshame",margie,IgooutOkay,I'mnotgoingtogivetheschoolashameOnceIaskedmyson,son,sunandmoon,whichismoreusefulThesonsaid,"ofcoursethemoon,becausethemoonalwayscomesoutatnightandilluminatestheearth,butthesunisintheskywhenthedayisbright"I'mhelplessJustbybusIheardarowinfrontofthedoor,andsawthatthetwoeyeswereahandsomeboywithoutchangeOriginallyfeelembarrassedtointerveneatthistimethehandsomemanshoutawordofthekingofthelandtigerimmediatelytheLordfeelspringiscoming!Coytopassoveradollartosaychickenstewmushroom~isundertheillusionbehindthedevelopmentofthenextgirlinthecarShoutinghusbandandIJustwatchthismanstrugglingtowatchmesaythatpagodatownriverdemonMr!Classtwoofmorethantwohundredpoundsoffat,oncethePEpracticejump,oneofthefatmanintherunup,don'tknowwhosaidasentence:theelderbrotherofthefat,thesomebodyelseisonestepafootprint,youareastepinapit!Oneelderbrothersoldhandsomeboy,formerlyfondofplay,nowhonest,thewifesuspectheavy,GeOnonedayhiswifewentshoppingwithherbestfriendanddidn'tseehim,sohecalledandaskedhimwherehewasAnswerinthestreeteatsnailnoodles"Thenyoutakeapictureofasnail,crossyourchopsticksinacrossandputitonthebowlYouputyourlefthandonthesideofthebowltoshowyourwatchI'llgiveyoutwominutesSeveralboyskickedtheballandcamebacktotheclassroomwithasweatA:"ifItakeoffmyshoesnow,thewholeclasswillhavetogetoutoftheclassroom,haha"B:afterItookoffmyshoes,theydidn'tevenhaveachancetoescape!ThewholeclassispetrifiedMyfacewashotandmyaunthadgivenit

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