下载
加入VIP
  • 专属下载特权
  • 现金文档折扣购买
  • VIP免费专区
  • 千万文档免费下载

上传资料

关闭

关闭

关闭

封号提示

内容

首页 心灵鸡汤

心灵鸡汤.doc

心灵鸡汤

wan又海
2019-06-22 0人阅读 举报 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《心灵鸡汤doc》,可适用于人文社科领域

你知道与人对话中的十大错误吗DoYouMakeTheseMistakesinaConversationCanyouimproveyourconversationskillsCertainlyItmighttakeawhiletochangetheconversationhabitsthat’sbeeningrainedthroughoutyourlife,butitisverypossibleTonotmakethisarticlelongerthannecessarylet’sjustskiprighttosomecommonmistakesmanyofushavemadeinconversationsandacoupleofsolutionsAndifyouwantmoreindepthtrainingthenjoinusinmyweek,stepbystepSmartSocialSkillsCoursewhereIsharetheverybestthingsIhavelearnedinthepastyearsaboutimprovingsocialskillsandrelationshiphabitsNotlisteningErnestHemingwayoncesaid:“IliketolistenIhavelearnedagreatdealfromlisteningcarefullyMostpeopleneverlisten”Don’tbelikemostpeopleDon’tjustwaiteagerlyforyourturntotalkPutyourownegoonholdLearntoreallylistentowhatpeopleactuallyaresayingWhenyoustarttoreallylisten,you’llpickuponloadsofpotentialpathsintheconversationButavoidyesornotypeofquestionsastheywillnotgiveyoumuchinformationIfsomeonementionsthattheywentfishingwithacoupleoffriendslastweekendyoucanforinstanceask:WheredidyougofishingWhatdoyoulikemostaboutfishingWhatdidyoudotherebesidesfishingThepersonwilldelvedeeperintothesubjectgivingyoumoreinformationtoworkwithandmorepathsforyouchoosefromIftheysaysomethinglike:“Oh,Idon’tknow”atfirst,don’tgiveupProdalittlefurtherAskagainTheydoknow,theyjusthavetothinkaboutabitmoreAndastheystarttoopenuptheconversationbecomesmoreinterestingbecauseit’snotonautopilotanymoreAskingtoomanyquestionsIfyouasktoomanyquestionstheconversationcanfeellikeabitofaninterrogationOrlikeyoudon’thavethatmuchtoocontributeOnealternativeistomixquestionswithstatementsContinuingtheconversationaboveyoucouldskipthequestionandsay:Yeah,it’sgreattojustgetoutwithyourfriendsandrelaxovertheweekendWeliketotakeasixpackouttotheparkandplaysomeFrisbeegolfNiceWewentoutinmyfriend’sboatlastmonthandItriedthesenewluresfromSakamuraTheblueoneswerereallygreatAndthentheconversationcanflowonfromthereAndyoucandiscussFrisbeegolf,theadvantagesdisadvantagesofdifferentluresoryourfavouritebeerTighteningupWheninconversationwithsomeoneyoujustmeetorwhentheusualfewtopicsareexhaustedanawkwardsilenceormoodmightappearOryoumightjustbecomenervousnotknowingexactlywhyLeilLowndes<!if!vml><!endif>oncesaid:“Neverleavehomewithoutreadingthenewspaper”Ifyou’rerunningoutofthingstosay,youcanalwaysstarttalkingaboutthecurrentnewsIt’salsogoodtostayupdatedoncurrentwatercoolertopicsLikewhathappenedonthelatestepisodeofLostCommentontheaquariumattheparty,orthatonegirl’scoolHalloweencostumeorthehost’smpplaylistYoucanalwaysstartnewconversationsaboutsomethinginyoursurroundingsAssumerapportIfyoufeelnervousorweirdwhenmeetingsomeoneforthefirsttimeassumerapportWhatthatmeansisthatyouimaginehowyoufeelwhenyoumeetoneofyourbestfriendsAndpretendthatthisnewacquaintanceisoneofyourbestfriendsDon’toverdoitthough,youmightnotwanttohugandkissrightawayButifyouimaginethisyou’llgointoapositiveemotionalstateAndyou’llgreetandstarttalkingtothisnewpersonwithasmileandafriendlyandrelaxedattitudeBecausethat’showyoutalktoyourfriendsItmightsoundabitloopyortoosimpleButitreallyworksPoordeliveryOneofthemostimportantthingsinaconversationisnotwhatyousay,buthowyousayitAchangeinthesehabitscanmakeabigdifferencesinceyourvoiceandbodylanguageisavitalpartofcommunicationSomethingstothinkabout:SlowingdownWhenyougetexcitedaboutsomethingit’seasytostarttalkingfasterandfasterTryandslowdownItwillmakeitmucheasierforpeopletolistenandforyouactuallygetwhatyouaresayingacrosstothemSpeakingupDon’tbeafraidtotalkasloudasyouneedtoforpeopletohearyouSpeakingclearlyDon’tmumbleSpeakwithemotionNoonelistensforthatlongifyouspeakwithamonotonevoiceLetyourfeelingsbereflectedinyourvoiceUsingpausesSlowingdownyourtalkingplusaddingasmallpausebetweenthoughtsorsentencescreatesabitoftensionandanticipationPeoplewillstarttolistenmoreattentivelytowhatyou’resayingListentooneofBrianTracyscdsorStevePavlina’spodcastsListentohowusingsmallpausesmakeswhattheyaresayingseemevenmoreinterestingLearnabitaboutimprovingyourbodylanguageasitcanmakeyourdeliveryalotmoreeffectiveReadaboutlaughter,postureandhowtoholdyourdrinkinwaystoimproveyourbodylanguageHoggingthespotlightI’vebeenguiltyofthisoneonmoreoccasionsthanIwishtorememberEveryoneinvolvedinaconversationshouldgettheirtimeinthespotlightDon’tinterruptsomeonewhentheyaretellingsomeanecdoteortheirviewonwhatyouarediscussingtodiverttheattentionbacktoyourselfDon’thijacktheirstoryaboutskiingbeforeit’sfinishedtoshareyourbestskiinganecdoteFindabalancebetweenlisteningandtalkingHavingtoberightAvoidarguingandhavingtobeingrightabouteverytopicOftenaconversationisnotreallyadiscussionIt’samoreofawaytokeepagoodmoodgoingNoonewillbethatimpressedifyou“win”everyconversationInsteadjustsitback,relaxandhelpkeepthegoodfeelingsgoingTalkingaboutaweirdornegativetopicIfyou’reatapartyorsomewherewereyouarejustgettingtoknowsomepeopleyoumightwanttoavoidsometopicsTalkingaboutyourbadhealthorrelationships,yourcrappyjoborboss,serialkillers,technicallingothatonlyyouandsomeotherguyunderstandsoranythingthatsucksthepositiveenergyoutoftheconversationaretopicstosteerclearfromYoumightalsowanttosavereligionandpoliticsforconversationswithyourfriendsBeingboringDon’tprattleonaboutyournewcarforminutesoblivioustoyoursurroundingsAlwaysbepreparedtodropasubjectwhenyoustarttoborepeopleOrwheneveryoneisgettingboredandthetopicisstartingtorunoutofsteamOnegoodwaytohavesomethinginterestingtosayissimplytoleadaninterestinglifeAndtofocusonthepositivestuffDon’tstarttowhineaboutyourbossoryourjob,peopledon’twanttohearthatInstead,talkaboutyourlasttripsomewhere,somefunnyanecdotethathappenedwhileyouwherebuyingclothes,yourplansforNewYearsEveorsomethingfunnyorexcitingAnotherwayisjusttobegenuinelyinterestedAsDaleCarnegie<!if!vml><!endif>said:“YoucanmakemorefriendsintwomonthsbybecomingreallyinterestedinotherpeoplethanyoucanintwoyearsbytryingtogetotherpeopleinterestedinyouWhichisjustanotherwayofsayingthatthewaytomakeafriendistobeone”KnowingalittleaboutmanythingsoratleastbeingopentotalkabouttheminsteadoftryingtosteertheconversationbacktoyourfavouritesubjectisanicequalityMeaning:talkingforwhatseemslikehoursaboutonetopicTopicsmayincludework,favouriterockband,TVshowandmoreworkOpeningupabitandnotclingingdesperatelytoonetopicwillmaketheconversationfeelmorerelaxedandopenYouwillcomeacrosslikeapersonwhocantalkaboutmanythingswitheaseAsyou’veprobablyexperiencedwithotherpeoplethisqualityissomethingyouappreciateinaconversationandmakesyoufeellikeyoucanconnecttothatpersoneasilyNotreciprocatingOpenupandsaywhatyouthink,sharehowyoufeelIfsomeonesharesanexperience,openuptooandshareoneofyourexperiencesDon’tjuststandtherenoddingandanswerwithshortsentencesIfsomeoneisinvestingintheconversationthey’dlikeyoutoinvesttooLikeinsomanyareasinlife,youcan’talwayswaitfortheotherpartytomakethefirstmoveWhenneeded,beproactiveandbethefirstonetoopenupandinvestintheconversationOnewayisbyreplacingsomequestionswithstatementsItmakesyoulesspassiveandmakestakeasortofstandNotcontributingmuchYoumightfeelthatyoudon’thavemuchtocontributetoaconversationButtryanywayReallylistenandbeinterestedinwhattheothersaresayingAskquestionsMakerelatingstatementsOpenyoureyestooDevelopyourobservationalskillstopickupinterestingstuffinyoursurroundingstotalkaboutDevelopyourpersonalknowledgebankbyexpandingyourviewofinterestingthingsintheworldReadthenewspapersandkeepaneyeonnewwatercoolertopicsWorkonyourbodylanguage,howyoutalkandtryassumingrapporttoimproveyourcommunicationskillsButtakeiteasyDon’tdoitallatonceYou’lljustfeelconfusedandoverwhelmedInstead,pickoutthethreemostimportantthingsthatyoufeelneedsimprovingWorkonthemeverydayforweeksNoticethedifferenceandkeepatitSoonyournewhabitswillstarttopopupspontaneouslywhenyouareinaconversation克服恐惧的五种方法Ofthemanyunpleasantemotionswecanexperience,fearmayjusttopthelist在我们所能体会到的不愉快的情感之中,排在第一位的可能就是恐惧。ButfearismorethanjustphysicallyunpleasantFearcanalsokeepusfrompursuingthethingsinlifethatreallymatterlikefollowingourdreams,anddevelopingandtakingcareofimportantrelationships但是恐惧不只是一种生理上的不愉快。恐惧会阻止我们追求那些能让生活变得美好的事情比如说追逐梦想、发展并维持好重要的人际关系。IhavegoodnewsthoughWecanbefreefromthegripthatfearoftenhasonus不过我有好消息要告诉你。我们是可以摆脱恐惧的束缚的。Howexperiencereducesfear经历如何减少恐惧。IusedtobeveryafraidofgettingupinfrontofpeopleandspeakingIwouldgetsweatypalmsandmystomachwouldbesotiedupthatIwouldn'tbeabletoeatIwouldexperiencesomuchtensioninmyneckandshouldersthatIwouldalmostalwayshaveaheadachebythetimeIhadtospeakorshortlythereafter我曾经非常害怕在人们面前讲话。我会手心冒汗,肚子还会抽筋以至于都吃不下东西。我的脖子和肩膀还会一直有一股力量紧绷着,导致我在讲话或者讲话之后一会儿就会一阵头疼。EachtimeIspokethough,Inoticedafterwardsthatitwasn'tthatbadThisisatrendI'venoticedthroughoutmylifeThingsIfearareneverasbadinrealityasImakethemouttobeinmymind每一次我当众讲话之后,我都会注意到其实它并没有想得那样糟糕。这是我在生活中已经注意到了的一种现象。我害怕的事情在现实中并没有像我想象的那样可怕。Sooneelementoftrainingforfearlessnessistosimplypushourselvestodothingsthatwefearsothatwehavemoreopportunitiestodevelopthewisdomthatthethingswefeararealwaysworseinourmindsthantheyarewhenweactuallyexperiencethem所以锻炼克服恐惧的一个方法是就让自己去做我们所感到恐惧的事,这样我们就会有更多的机会来提升自身的智慧,认识到我们所恐惧的事在想象中比在现实中是更加可怕的。Practicinginvestigationofourinnerworlds练习探索我们的内心世界Ofcourse,therealquestionishowdowemovethroughthefearthatkeepsusfromactingIfwenevertakeaction,weneverdevelopthewisdomdescribedabove当然,真正的问题是我们如何越过恐惧这一个阻止我们行动的难关如果我们从不行动,那我们就不会拥有上面所说的智慧之见。Developingfreedomfromfearofourouterworld,beginswithfacingwhatwefearinourinnerworld摆脱外部世界带来的恐惧,从面对我们内心世界里的恐惧开始。Eachday,weshouldbetakingsometimetositstillinmindfulnessAtleastminuteseachmorningandeveningTheattitudeweshouldmaintain,especiallyduringourpracticeofsittingstill,isoneofcuriosityaboutwhatweareactuallyexperiencinginthismoment每一天,我们应该花一些时间来静坐冥思。每天早上和晚上至少要有分钟的时间。特别在当我们练习静坐的时候,我们应该保持这样的态度,即对我们正在经历的这一瞬间保持好奇。Theattitudecanbesummedupwiththequestion:What'shappeningnow这种态度可以用一个问题来概括:现在正在发生什么Themorewepracticethiscuriousinvestigationofwhatisactuallyoccurringinourinnerworld,theeasieritisturntowardthethingsinourinnerworldthatscareus,likethethoughtswewishwouldn'tcomeup,theunpleasantemotionslikeanxietyandanger,andtheunskillfulstatesofmindlikejealousyandgreed当我们练习如何探索内心世界的次数越多,我们就会更容易地接触到那些在内心深处我们所真正恐惧的,像是一些我们不曾希望出现的念头,一些不愉快的情感,比如焦虑和愤怒,还有不成熟的心理比如嫉妒和贪婪。LearningtoturntowardtheseunpleasantelementsofourinnerworldservesafewpurposesFirst,westarttoseethatwecanfaceanythinginourinnerworldBydevelopingfreedomfromfearofthingsinourinnerworld,wefindthatwehavemorecouragetofacethingsthatscareusintheouterworld学会面对我们内心世界的负能量有很多用处。首先,我们开始意识到我们可以面对内心世界的一切。通过练习摆脱内心的恐惧,我们发现我们有更多的勇气去面对那些外部世界令我们却步的事物。Second,byconsistentlypracticingturningtowardsthethingsthatscareus,we'remorelikelytodosowhenwefaceareallychallengingsituationThisisabsolutelyessentialforbeingabletotranscendfear其次,通过不断地练习面对令我们恐惧的事物,当遇到一个真正的挑战时,我们更有可能勇敢地面对它们。这对于超越恐惧是十分必要的。Creatingspace创造空间。Thefirstandmostimportantsteptobeingfreefromthegripoffearinafrighteningsituationistocreatesomespacebetweenourselvesandtheemotionoffear第一步也是最重要的一步是在一个恐怖的情形下摆脱恐惧的魔爪,在我们本身与恐惧这个情感的中间创造出空间。Thisisn'taccomplishedbyignoringthefear,ortryingtotalkourselvesoutofit这不仅仅只靠忽视恐惧或者试图说服自己逃离它而实现的。Spaceiscreatedautomaticallywhenwehonestlyacknowledgethatfearispresentbymentallynamingtheemotion,"Thereisfear"Infact,researchatUCLAshowsthatbysimplynaminganemotionweactuallybegintoreversethe"fightorflight"responseinthebody当我们诚实地承认恐惧的存在:“这是恐惧”,空间就自动地被创造出来了。事实上,UCLA的一项研究显示,承认一种情感会让我们开始扭转“战斗还是逃跑”的生理反应。Controlthebreathandinvestigatethefear控制呼吸并研究恐惧。Onceweacknowledgethepresenceoffear,thesecondstepistocontrolthebreathingsothatitbecomesslowerandgentler我们一旦承认恐惧的存在,第二步就是控制呼吸,令它变得缓慢而柔和。Witheachexhalation,wetrytomaketheexhalationjustalittlebitlonger,andweinvestigatewithcuriousityhowfearmanifestsinthebodyAswepayattentiontothephysicalsymptomsoffear,wefindthatthespacebetweenourselvesandtheemotionincreasesWeseetheemotionmoreobjectively随着呼气,我们试着让呼气的过程更长一点,我们随着好奇心探索着恐惧是如何在我们的身体上表现出来的。当我们注意到恐惧的生理现象后,我们发现在我们自身和情感之间的空间变大了。我们对待情感变得更加客观了。Visualizeapositiveoutcome使一个积极的结果视觉化。Withpractice,wecancreatejustenoughspacebetweenourfearfulthoughtsandtheemotionoffearsothatwe'reabletoreplaceafearfulthoughtwithapositiveoneWecanvisualizeapositiveoutcomeforwhateverwe'reabouttodo随着练习的深入,我们可以在我们恐惧的念头和恐惧的情感之间创造出足够的空间,因而我们能够把恐惧的念头转变成一个积极的念头。我们可以使一个积极的结果视觉化,令其成为我们所要做的事。Forinstance,beforeIgetuptospeakinfrontofagroupofpeople,IvisualizethepeopleintheaudiencebeingpositivelyimpactedbywhatIsayandthespiritofkindnessandserviceinwhichItrytoremainwhilespeaking举个例子,在我走上去面对人们演讲时,我想象底下的观众积极地被我的讲话所打动,而我则努力保持着一种友善而负责的精神完成我的演讲。Whenwecanseeapositiveoutcomeinourmind,wecaneasilysay,"I'mdoingthis!"Fearnolongerholdsusback当我们能在心里看到一个积极的结果时,我们就会很容易地说,“我真的可以做这个!”恐惧就不再阻碍我们了。

用户评价(0)

关闭

新课改视野下建构高中语文教学实验成果报告(32KB)

抱歉,积分不足下载失败,请稍后再试!

提示

试读已结束,如需要继续阅读或者下载,敬请购买!

文档小程序码

使用微信“扫一扫”扫码寻找文档

1

打开微信

2

扫描小程序码

3

发布寻找信息

4

等待寻找结果

我知道了
评分:

/15

心灵鸡汤

VIP

在线
客服

免费
邮箱

爱问共享资料服务号

扫描关注领取更多福利