综合英语U8 The Monster Deems Taylor

TheMonsterDeemsTaylorHewasanundersizedlittleman,withaheadtoobigforhisbody—asicklylittleman.Hisnerveswerebad.Hehadskintrouble.Itwasagonyforhimtowearanythingnexttohisskincoarserthansilk.Andhehaddelusionsofgrandeur.Hewasamonsterofconceit.Neverforoneminutedidhelookattheworldoratpeople,exceptinrelationtohimself.Hebelievedhimselftobeoneofthegreatestdramatistsintheworld,oneofthegreatestthinkers,andoneofthegreatestcomposers.Tohearhimtalk,hewasShakespeare,andBeethoven,andPlato,rolledintoone.Hewasoneofthemostexhaustingconversationaliststhateverlived.Sometimeshewasbrilliant;sometimeshewasmaddeninglytiresome.Butwhetherhewasbeingbrilliantordull,hehadonesoletopicofconversation:himself.Whathethoughtandwhathedid.Hehadamaniaforbeingintheright.Theslightesthintofdisagreement,fromanyone,onthemosttrivialpoint,wasenoughtosethimoffonaharanguethatmightlastforhours,inwhichheprovedhimselfrightinsomanyways,andwithsuchexhaustingvolubility,thatintheendhishearer,stunnedanddeafened,wouldagreewithhim,forthesakeofpeace.Itneveroccurredtohimthatheandhisdoingwerenotofthemostintenseandfascinatinginteresttoanyonewithwhomhecameincontact.Hehadtheoriesaboutalmostanysubjectunderthesun,includingvegetarianism,thedrama,politics,andmusic;andinsupportofthesetheorieshewrotepamphlets,letters,books...thousandsuponthousandsofwords,hundredsandhundredsofpages.Henotonlywrotethesethings,andpublishedthem—usuallyatsomebodyelse'sexpense—buthewouldsitandreadthemaloud,forhours,tohisfriends,andhisfamily.Hehadtheemotionalstabilityofasix-year-oldchild.Whenhefeltoutofsorts,hewouldraveandstamp,orsinkintosuicidalgloomandtalkdarklyofgoingtotheEasttoendhisdaysasaBuddhistmonk.Tenminuteslater,whensomethingpleasedhimhewouldrushoutofdoorsandrunaroundthegarden,orjumpupanddownoffthesofa,orstandonhishead.Hecouldbegrief-strickenoverthedeathofapetdog,andcouldbecallousandheartlesstoadegreethatwouldhavemadeaRomanemperorshudder.Hewasalmostinnocentofanysenseofresponsibility.Hewasconvincedthattheworldowedhimaliving.Insupportofthisbelief,heborrowedmoneyfromeverybodywhowasgoodforaloan—men,women,friends,orstrangers.Hewrotebegginglettersbythescore,sometimesgrovelingwithoutshame,atothersloftilyofferinghisintendedbenefactortheprivilegeofcontributingtohissupport,andbeingmortallyoffendediftherecipientdeclinedthehonor.WhatmoneyhecouldlayhishandsonhespentlikeanIndianrajah.Noonewilleverknow—certainlyheneverknows—howmuchmoneyheowed.Wedoknowthathisgreatestbenefactorgavehim$6,000topaythemostpressingofhisdebtsinonecity,andayearlaterhadtogivehim$16,000toenablehimtoliveinanothercitywithoutbeingthrownintojailfordebt.Hewasequallyunscrupulousinotherways.Anendlessprocessionofwomenmarchedthroughhislife.Hisfirstwifespenttwentyyearsenduringandforgivinghisinfidelities.Hissecondwifehadbeenthewifeofhismostdevotedfriendandadmirer,fromwhomhestoleher.Andevenwhilehewastryingtopersuadehertoleaveherfirsthusbandhewaswritingtoafriendtoinquirewhetherhecouldsuggestsomewealthywoman—anywealthywoman—whomhecouldmarryforhermoney.Hehadageniusformakingenemies.Hewouldinsultamanwhodisagreedwithhimabouttheweather.Hewouldpullendlesswiresinordertomeetsomemanwhoadmiredhisworkandwasableandanxioustobeofusetohim—andwouldproceedtomakeamortalenemyofhimwithsomeidioticandwhollyuncalledforexhibitionofarroganceandbadmanners.Acharacterinoneofhisoperaswasacaricatureofoneofthemostpowerfulmusiccriticsofhisday.Notcontentwithburlesquinghim,heinvitedthecritictohishouseandreadhimthelibrettoaloudinfrontofhisfriends.ThenameofthismonsterwasRichardWagner.EverythingIhavesaidabouthimyoucanfindonrecord—innewspapers,inpolicereports,inthetestimonyofpeoplewhoknewhim,inhisownletters,betweenthelinesofhisautobiography.Andthecuriousthingaboutthisrecordisthatitdoesn'tmatterintheleast.Becausethisundersized,sickly,disagreeable,fascinatinglittlemanwasrightallthetime,thejokewasonus.Hewasoneoftheworld'sgreatestdramatists;hewasagreatthinker;hewasoneofthemoststupendousmusicalgeniusesthat,uptonow,theworldhaseverseen.Theworlddidowehimaliving.Whatifhedidtalkabouthimselfallthetime?Ifhetalkedabouthimselffortwenty-fourhourseverydayforthespanofhislifehewouldnothaveutteredhalfthenumberofwordsthatothermenhavespokenandwrittenabouthimsincehisdeath.Whenyouconsiderwhathewrote—thirteenoperasandmusicdramas,elevenofthemstillholdingthestage,eightofthemunquestionablyworthrankingamongtheworld'sgreatmusico-dramaticmasterpieces—whenyoulistentowhathewrote,thedebtsandheartachesthatpeoplehadtoendurefromhimdon'tseemmuchofaprice.Whatifhewasfaithlesstohisfriendsandtohiswives?Hehadonemistresstowhomhewasfaithfultothedayofhisdeath:Music.Notforasinglemomentdidheevercompromisewithwhathebelieved,withwhathedreamed.Thereisnotalineofhismusicthatcouldhavebeenconceivedbyalittlemind.Evenwhenheisdull,ordownrightbad,heisdullinthegrandmanner.Listeningtohismusic,onedoesnotforgivehimforwhathemayormaynothavebeen.Itisnotamatterofforgiveness.Itisamatterofbeingdumbwithwonderthathispoorbrainandbodydidn'tburstunderthetormentofthedemonofcreativeenergythatlivedinsidehim,struggling,clawing,scratchingtobereleased;tearing,shriekingathimtowritethemusicthatwasinhim.Themiracleisthatwhathedidinthelittlespaceofseventyyearscouldhavebeendoneatall,evenbyagreatgenius.Isitanywonderhehadnotimetobeaman?