sentence writing

nullSentence Clarity and CombiningSentence Clarity and CombiningA workshop brought to you by The Purdue University Writing LabSentence ClaritySentence Clarity Why do we need to be concerned with sentence clarity? To communicate effectively to the reader To make writing persuasive To show credibility and authority as a writer Common clarity problemsCommon clarity problemsMisplaced modifiers Dangling modifiers Passive voice Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced Modifiersa word or phrase that causes confusion because it is located within a sentence so far away from the word(s) to which it refers Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced ModifiersConsider the different meanings in the following sentences: The dog under the tree bit Carrie. vs. The dog bit Carrie under the tree. Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced ModifiersSometimes misplaced modifiers are used for comic effect: The other day I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. -- Groucho Marx How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? Jennifer called her adorable kitten opening the can of tuna and filled the food bowl. Better: Opening the can of tuna, Jennifer called her adorable kitten and filled the food bowl. How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? Portia rushed to the store loaded with cash to buy the birthday gift. Better: Portia, loaded with cash, rushed to the store to buy the birthday gift. Misplaced ModifiersMisplaced Modifiers Some one-word modifiers often cause confusion: almost just nearly simply even hardly merely only Explain the meaning of each sentence:Explain the meaning of each sentence:Almost everyone in the class passed the calculus exam. Everyone in the class almost passed the calculus exam. Which sentence indicates that everyone in the class failed the exam?Explain the meaning of each sentence:Explain the meaning of each sentence: John nearly earned $100. John earned nearly $100. Which sentence indicates that John earned some money? Dangling modifiersDangling modifiersa word or phrase that modifies another word or phrase that has not been stated clearly within the sentence often occur at the beginnings and ends of sentences often indicated by an -ing verb or a to + verb phrase Dangling modifiersDangling modifiers Having finished dinner, the football game was turned on. Having finished dinner, Joe turned on the football game. Dangling modifiersDangling modifierscan be repaired by placing the subject of the modification phrase as the subject of the independent clause placing the subject of the action within the dangling phrase How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? Playing solitaire on the computer for three hours, Michael’s paper was not completed. Better: Playing solitaire on the computer for three hours, Michael did not complete his paper. Better: Because Michael played solitaire on the computer for three hours, he did not complete the paper. How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? Locked away in the old chest, Richard was surprised by the antique hats. Better: Locked away in the old chest, the antique hats surprised Richard. Better: The antique hats locked away in the old chest surprised Richard. How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? To work as a loan officer, an education in financial planning is required. Better: To work as a loan officer, one is required to have an education in financial planning. How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? Being a process that still needs to be refined, scientists are searching for a more effective plan for chemotherapy treatment. Better: Scientists are searching for a more effective plan for chemotherapy treatment, a process that still needs to be refined. Passive VoicePassive Voiceindicates what is receiving the action rather than explaining who is doing the action two indicators "to be" verbs—is, are, was, were "by ________” Examples: Mistakes were made. The cats were brushed by Laura. How might you improve the following sentence?How might you improve the following sentence? The decision that was reached by the committee was to postpone the vote. Better: The committee reached the decision to postpone the vote. Best: The committee decided to postpone the vote. How might you correct the following sentence?How might you correct the following sentence? The disk drive of the computer was damaged by the electrical surge. Better: The electrical surge damaged the disk drive of the computer. Best: The electrical surge damaged the computer's disk drive.Sentence CombiningSentence CombiningWhy should we know about sentence combining? To build clarity To avoid wordiness To avoid redundancy Keys to sentence combining: Create adjectives Create properly placed modifying clauses Eliminate unnecessary or repetitive phrases Consider the following paragraph:Consider the following paragraph: The boy struggled to ride his bike. The boy is four years old and he is feisty. The bike is new and it is a light blue color. The boy received the bike for his birthday. He struggled for two hours. However, he was unsuccessful in riding the bike. Sentence CombiningSentence CombiningThe boy struggled to ride his bike. The boy is four years old and he is feisty. The bike is new and it is a light blue color. The boy received the bike for his birthday. He struggled for two hours. However, he was unsuccessful in riding the bike. The feisty four-year-old boy struggled unsuccessfully for two hours to ride his new light blue birthday bike.Sentence CombiningSentence Combining The animal trainer dove into the pool. The trainer was skilled and athletic. She was excited when she dove into the pool. She swam with two dolphins. The dolphins were babies. The dolphins were playful. The trainer swam with the dolphins for over an hour. When the trainer swam with the dolphins, she was happy. Sentence CombiningSentence Combining The animal trainer dove into the pool. The trainer was skilled and athletic. She was excited when she dove into the pool. She swam with two dolphins. The dolphins were babies. The dolphins were playful. The trainer swam with the dolphins for over an hour. When the trainer swam with the dolphins, she was happy. The skilled, athletic animal trainer excitedly dove into the pool and happily swam for over an hour with two playful baby dolphins. Sentence CombiningSentence Combining The blizzard contained strong winds and heavy snow. During the snowstorm, the roof of the town library collapsed. The roof of the post office did the same. The blowing snow covered the county roads. Schools cancelled classes due to the white-out conditions.Sentence CombiningSentence Combining The blizzard contained strong winds and heavy snow. During the snowstorm, the roof of the town library collapsed. The roof of the post office did the same. The blowing snow covered the county roads. Schools cancelled classes due to the white-out conditions. The blizzard, containing strong winds and heavy snow, caused the roofs of the town library and the post office to collapse, created white-out conditions on county roads, and forced schools to cancel classes.Where can you go for additional help with sentence clarity and combining?Where can you go for additional help with sentence clarity and combining?Purdue University Writing Lab Heavilon 226 Help with: Organizational Methods Sentence Structure Grammatical ConcernsPurdue University Writing Lab