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303 The One With the Jam

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303 The One With the Jam 303 The One With the Jam Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.] Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!! Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that...

303 The One With the Jam
303 The One With the Jam Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.] Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!! Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed. Opening Credits [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering] Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning. Ross: Where'd you get fruit at four in the morning? Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didn't know you could get it wholesale. Rachel: I didn't know there were docks. [Joey and Chandler enter] Joey: Hey. Chandler: Hey. Ross: Aww, is it broken? Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing) Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed? Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out. Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket. Joey: What is this? Fruit? Rachel: Monica's making jam. Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place? Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes. Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.) Joey: This will just be my batch. [Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.] Phoebe: (turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you. Guy: You wouldn't return my calls, you sent back my letters.... Phoebe: What? Guy: One more chance Ursula, please? Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward. Guy: Wh.. Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously. Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus! Phoebe: Oh, you're not a dingus. Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones. Phoebe: Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay. Guy: Well thanks. (starts to leave) Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying? Guy: Not really. Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay. Guy: Wait. You're right. I know you're right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.) Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee? Guy: Yeah, okay. Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more. Guy: Sorry. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering] Rachel: Mon? Ross: Mon? Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.' Ross: Wait a minute, look. Rachel: What? Ross: Look, look, look. Rachel: What, what, what? Ross: It's an empty apartment. Rachel: Oooh. Ross: We're all alone in an empty apartment. Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch) (Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.) Ross: There it is. Rachel: Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey. Ross: Hey. Chandler: Do I look fat? Ross and Rachel: Noo. Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow. Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it. Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her.... Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter? Rachel: Nooo! Ross: And it works both ways. Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff? Rachel: Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on. Ross: Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do? Chandler: That's easy, baggage claim. Ross: (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her. Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something. Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work. Ross: Oh. Rachel: All right are you guys gonna come down? Ross: Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you. Rachel: Good luck Chandler. Chandler: Thank you Rachel. Ross: Bye sweetie. Rachel: Bye hon. Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do. Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers. Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed... Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are) Ross: I'm gonna use the cushion. Chandler: Yeah. Ross: Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you. Chandler: Okay, the old hug and roll. Ross: Yep. Chandler: Okay, one question. Ross: Shoot. Chandler: You're pretending the pillow's a girl right? [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam] Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon? Rachel: (Looks at him) You're so pretty. Phoebe: (entering) Hi! All: Hey, Phoebe. Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today. Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy? Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order. Chandler: Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom. Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute. Ross: Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker. Phoebe: No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her. Joey: (with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs) Phoebe: Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather. Monica: (entering) Hey guys. All: Hey Mon. Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin. Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh! Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand) , or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand) Joey: Put your hands together. Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch. Joey: No more jam?! Rachel: Well, what happened to your jam plan? Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies. Chandler: Well, your gonna need much bigger jars. Ross: What are you talking about? Monica: I'm talking about me having a baby. Ross: What? Rachel: Are you serious? Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan. Ross: Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad! Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid. Chandler: That, that's what's stupid. Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff. Rachel: Down at the docks again? [Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Janice and him are cuddling] Janice: Night-night Bing-a-ling. Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.) Commercial Break [Scene: Central Perk, Malcom is giving Phoebe all of his spy stuff] Malcom: Here's my binoculars. Phoebe: Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going. Malcom: These are my night vision goggles. This is the book I pretend to read when I'm watching her in the park. And these are Mad Lips, they're just for fun. Phoebe: Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book) Malcom: Oh, this is log I kept, recording her every movement. Do you wanna here something from it? Phoebe: Um, not even a little bit. Malcom: It's about you. Phoebe: Oh, okay then. Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool. Phoebe: Good. So what were you thinking? Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you. Phoebe: Really? Malcom: No. Phoebe: Oh. Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you. Phoebe: Oh, okay. (he kisses her) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating jam straight out of the jar, and Chandler is staring at him in amazement. Joey offers him some.] Chandler: No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard. Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis. Chandler: You mean there's more than one of us. Ross: Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna..... Monica: You're gonna what? Ross: I'm gonna tell Mom. Rachel: Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy. Ross: Crazy. Monica: What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something.... Ross: (interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way... Monica: Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know? Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers! Monica: Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments: 'New York Knicks, rule!' Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule! Monica: Joey, this is you! Joey: Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right. Rachel: When did you go to a sperm bank? Joey: Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday? Chandler: And that's how you bought it? Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left. Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here. Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little. Phoebe: (entering) Hellooo! All: Hey. Ross: How's the maniac? Phoebe: Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'. Rachel: Phoebe, what are you doing? Phoebe: Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me. Rachel: Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that. Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything. Ross: You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles? Phoebe: What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her? Chandler: Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order. Phoebe: What are you saying I should do? Monica: I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him. Phoebe: Thank you, Monica. Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes. Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine. [Scene: Central Perk] Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist) Janice: Oh. God, crazy Chandler. He spun me...off...the...bed! Rachel: Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun. Janice: Oh, (laughs) I wish. No, you know he was just trying Ross's Hug and Roll thing. Rachel: (turns around, not amused) Ross's what? Janice: You know what, where he hugs you and kinda rolls you away and... Oh... my....God. [Scene: Subway station, Phoebe is following Malcom by finding behind the pillars until she comes up to one with a wire mesh garbage can next to it. Malcom stops and starts walking the other way and passes Phoebe, who quick tries to hide behind the garbage can. But, Malcom sees her.] Malcom: Phoebe? Phoebe: Yes? Yes! Oh. Malcom: What are you doing? Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.) Malcom: Were you following me? Phoebe: Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister. Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar) Phoebe: Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train? Malcom: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to stop, but I couldn't. I'm so pathetic. Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch. Malcom: Uh-huh, I don't know. Phoebe: Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go? [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering] Joey: Hey. Monica: Hey. Joey: Where you going? Monica: To the bank. Joey: Sperm or regular? Monica: Sperm. Joey: So you're really doing this, huh? Monica: Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135. Joey: Sounds nice. Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes... Joey: No kiddin', hmm. Monica: What? Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy. Monica: Really? Why? Joey: I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt. Monica: Hoyt? Joey: It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool. Monica: Really, is he a swimmer? Joey: He's got the body for it. Monica: I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What? Joey: You guys have one of those signs that says: 'We don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in our pool.', you know. Monica: We do not have one of those signs. Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids. Monica: Two girls and a boy? Joey: Yeah! Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them. Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too. Monica: Yeah. Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again) . Closing Credits [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam] Joey: I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person. Rachel: Honey, you got a little thing on your... (points to her whole face) Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it? Rachel: Yeah. Ross: (entering) Hello. Rachel: Hello. Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second? Chandler: Sure. What's up? Ross: Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine) End 303 果酱 乔伊,这就是你爸妈叫你不要跳上床的原因 看看我,我在做果酱 我早上四点就起来了。 那么早你怎么买得到水果? 在码头那儿买的。 你一定不知道可以买到批发价 我根本不知道有码头 手臂断了吗? 不,但得挂着这玩意 几个星期 你有没有告诉医生 你是因为跳上床才受伤? 不,我编的故事本来有用的 但是… 钱德出卖了我 抱歉,我想医生不会相信你说的 “手臂就自己脱落了” 这是什么?水果吗? 摩妮卡在做果酱 我最爱果酱了! 我们家怎么从来没有果酱? 因为孩子们需要买新鞋 我得做正事了 我不想再为理查的事伤神 我需要一个计划 来忘记我的男人 什么事跟男人相反? 就是果酱! 乔伊别!太烫! 那么这一份就算我的 到此为止 喂,那个穿杰克鲁牌的家伙 你为何跟踪我? 这一周来,我往哪儿看就会看到你 你也不回我电话又把我的信退回来 再给我一次机会拜托,乌苏拉 真是太尴尬了 因为你要找的是乌苏拉, 我是菲比,我们是双胞胎 这是真的 太好了,我跟错人了 我真是个糊涂蛋 你不是糊涂蛋 我只想让你知道我不是总是这样的 在认识你姐姐之前 我只是卖行动电话的普通人 听着,这不是你的错 这就是她对待男人的方式 谢谢你 等等,我有个小故事告诉你 我在念国中时我以为自己是女巫 有个辅导老师跟我说的话 我想可以帮助你 他说“你根本不是女巫 你只是个普通学生” 你懂我的意思吗?不太懂 忘了她吧 你看起来是个好人 别对自己太苛刻,好吗? 没错,我想你是对的 谢谢你对我这么友善 谢谢你 你要不要去喝咖啡? 你不用走在我后面了 “去买罐子,等会儿回来。 ——摩妮卡盖勒” 等等,你看! 整个房子里都没人 这间空房子里,只有我们两个 我在十分钟内得去上班 好吧,我又不是模范员工 在这里啊 这就是你要找的啊 我看起来很胖吗? 不胖 这点我可以接受 当珍妮丝问我时,我回答不。 她却认为我说她像母牛 重头再说一次给我们听… 珍妮丝说,她今天看起来胖吗。 我看看她… 你看看她? 你绝不能看 你只能回答,就像反射动作 “我看起来胖吗?”,“不” “她比我漂亮吗?”,“不” “尺寸很重要吗?”,“不” 这点男女都适用 所以你们本来就知道这些? 吵了大概三四十次后你大概就记住了 例如 珍妮丝旅行回来她给你两种选择 选择一,她从机场自己搭计程车回来 选择二,你在领行李的地方与她碰面, 你会怎么做? 简单,领行李的地方 错了,所以你没女朋友啦 其实是第三个秘密绝招 你在登机门与她碰面 这就表现出你对她的爱 好,这样真不错 好,我有一个问 快递公司问题件快递公司问题件货款处理关于圆的周长面积重点题型关于解方程组的题及答案关于南海问题 珍妮丝晚上喜欢抱抱… 我当然也喜欢抱抱 不过当你想睡觉时 你会想要一点空间 我要怎样告诉她,才不会… 不小心又说她胖之类的? 抱歉,我们帮不了你 因为我们都是抱着睡的 我上班要迟到了 你们要不要下来? 好,等一下就去 祝你好运,钱德 关于睡觉那件事 非常困难,但也不是没办法可想 我以为你们都是“抱着睡觉” 不,不是抱着睡, 不是我,只有她 我跟你一样,我需要空间 好,到这儿来 好,现在你在床上 我还是用垫子好了 好,你在床上 她在你旁边,抱着你 现在,你等她逐渐睡着… 然后你抱住她… 然后把她滚到床的另一边 然后你… 你就滚到旁边去 抱住她 自己滚到旁边去 就像以前的“拥抱与翻滚” 只有一个问题 你把枕头当作女生,对吧? 记得小时候你妈会把你送到电影院… 给你一罐果酱和一根小汤匙? 你真可爱 你知道那个跟踪我的人吗? 我今天跟他说话了 你跟他说话?你疯了吗? 第一,我没有疯, 第二,用说的,别用啧的 反正他叫做麦尔康 他也不是在跟踪我 我是说,他在跟踪没错, 但他跟踪乌苏拉 所以他不敢上前来跟我说话 因为有禁制令 我还是对麦尔康没有好感 不,他不是疯子 他只是个非常热情 极度浪漫的家伙… 只是有点过火了 我们处得很好,而且他很可爱 天啊,你竟然暗恋跟踪你妹妹的人 我要帮他忘记乌苏拉的一切 就像乔伊跟她约会后我为他做的一样 我没有跟踪她 我是问你事情 乔伊,这是你的 这是黑莓红醋粟酱 乔伊,我得问你 影印店的那个女孩,全裸 还是你要一大缸果酱? 你把两只手放在一起吧 你慢慢吃啊,那是最后一批 没有果酱了? 你的果酱计划呢? 我算过了 我每罐得卖17元才能打平 所以我有个新计划就是生小孩 那你可能需要很大的罐子 你们在谈什么? 谈我要生孩子的事 你是认真的吗?是啊 果酱计划让我开始掌握自己的生活 所以我就想什么事对我最重要? 因此我就想出生小孩这个计划 你是不是忘了什么? 那个家伙叫什么? 叫“爸爸”! 我花了28年,找到一个 想与他共度终身的男人 如果我还得再等28年 我就得56岁才生小孩 那样实在太愚蠢了 那样叫愚蠢? 我不需要一个真正的男人 只要他几只会游泳的小家伙 而且你可以在某个地方得到那些小家伙 又要去码头了吗? 晚安,宾宝贝 晚安·, 珍妮丝 看看她那一边的位置! 都可以放一只大企鹅了 不过那样会很奇怪 要开始“拥抱与翻滚”了 我正在拥抱… 你在翻滚,然后… 太好了,自由了 除了这只手臂以外 我被困住了,手臂卡住了 该玩以前那种盖桌布的游戏了, 一个快动作 像猫一样矫捷 一,二…… 三! 这是我的双眼望远镜 很好,你做得很好 很不错,继续吧 这是我的夜视镜 这是我在公园里看她时 假装阅读的书 这些是接字游戏 只是好玩用的 这是我写的日志 记录 混凝土 养护记录下载土方回填监理旁站记录免费下载集备记录下载集备记录下载集备记录下载 她的一举一动 你要不要听听看? 我一点也不想听 是跟你有关的 那好吧 “我今天遇到菲比 她对我很好 即使我真的是个败类 当我走回家时,我不断想着她 虽然很怪,却是很棒的感觉” 很好 你在想什么? 我在想亲你是什么感觉? 真的? 不, 哦, 那只是我故意说的 这样我才能亲你 不,不用了我刚吃了一罐芥末 好,捐精者编号03815来罗! 好,他是6尺2寸,170磅 他形容自己是男性的吉娜戴维丝 你是说除了我们之外还有别人? 你不能这样做,摩妮卡 如果你这么做,我会… 我会告诉妈 很抱歉,他是对的 我爱你,可是你真的疯了 为什么这样就叫疯了? 就算这不是理想方法…这根本不是… 嘴巴在动,我还在讲话! 这样可能不太理想,但? 我真的准备好了 我看到班 看着你的样子 让我心好痛,你知道吗? 你看看,果酱饼干! 好吧,这个如何? 27岁,义大利裔美国人 他是个演员 在皇后区出生 哇,大家族!七个姊妹,而 他是唯一的…男孩 天啊,个人评论写着纽约尼克队万岁! 对啊,纽约尼克队万岁 乔伊,这个是你 让我看看 哦,对 你去精子银行? 就在我参加纽约大学的性研究之后 你记不记得你生日时我送你的毛衣? 那是你用这样赚来的? 不,那是我捐精子那天穿的 我真惊讶他们那儿 还会有我的小家伙 那里竞争很激烈的 还有真正的火箭科学家呢 或许我该叫他们 把我演的连续剧放上去 多增加点声势 那个疯子如何了? 他真迷人,我们接吻了 菲比,你在做什么? 不,他不会再犯了 他为了我戒掉了 那家伙迷恋你姐姐 天晓得到底有多久了 你不能就这样算了 他把他的夜视镜和一切东西都交给我了 一个有夜视镜的人他说的话你也敢信? 他不再跟踪他了 你觉得他还在跟踪她吗? 快醒醒,感觉一下什么叫禁制令吧 你说我该怎么办? 若你真的很喜欢他 应该相信他才是 谢谢你,摩妮卡 或者你该跟踪他,看他去哪里 我也会这么做忘了我刚说的吧 天啊,发生什么事? 钱德发神经,把我转一圈… 然后推下床 转圈圈啊,听起来很好玩 我倒希望 他只是在试罗斯的那套“拥抱与翻滚” 罗斯的什么? 当他抱住你把你滚到旁边,再… 我的天啊! 你在做什么? 我只是在找我的… 吃过的旧三明治…在这里! 你在跟踪我吗? 也许 是的,我很抱歉 我害怕你仍然迷恋我姐姐 所以你在监视我 我真不敢相信你不信任我 你怎么会知道呢? 我的双胞胎姐姐正好经过 一直走着跟我长得一模一样 这是个奇异的巧合 还是你早知道她会搭这班车? 对不起… 我试着停止,但我做不到 我真可悲 不,不是你的错,我也有错 是我要你断然戒除这个毛病 我不能再跟你约会了因为你是,你知道的· 哇! 但我一定要帮你忘掉我姐姐 试着跟踪我一阵子,好吗? 我就暂时帮你戒除对乌苏拉的迷恋 我不知道 你就…你看,我正在走路 来吧 我遇到柱子了我会往哪边走? 嘿 嘿,去哪儿 上哪儿去? 银行 精子银行还是一般的 精子银行 你确定要做这件事? 是啊,我挑了一个男的编号37135 听起来不错 的确,他有棕发和绿眼睛 不是开玩笑吧? 我以为你会选金发的 真的吗?为什么? 我总是想像你和 一个高大聪明的金发男子,叫… “荷依”这样的名字 那是个名字,没错 我看到你在一间很棒的有泳池的大房子 他是游泳选手吗? 他可是有那种身材的 我喜欢 什么? “我们不在你的厕所游泳 所以别在我们的池子尿尿” 我们才不会有那种牌子 你会有的那是我送的礼物 然后你会有很棒的孩子 两个女孩和一个男孩? 他们戴着手臂浮围绕着泳池边跑 然后荷依用毛巾围住他们三个 是啊! 但是,你知道这样听起来也不错 是啊 这家伙是太空人? 这样虽然很棒… 也不会维持多久 我打电话给精子银行 崔此亚尼的小家伙 一点儿也没卖出去 没有人要我出产的 我不懂 可能他们没亲眼见到我 你沾到一点在… 弄掉了吧? 是啊 哈罗 钱德,我可以跟你谈一下吗? 当然,什么事? 还有一件关于男女之间的事 这件事你大概已经知道了 女人会互相传话的
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