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305 The One With Frank Jr.

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305 The One With Frank Jr. 305 The One With Frank Jr. [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, there is lumber all over the apartment] Chandler: (entering) Hey! Joey: Hey! Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off? Joey: No. Y'know how we're always saying we need a place ...

305 The One With Frank Jr.
305 The One With Frank Jr. [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, there is lumber all over the apartment] Chandler: (entering) Hey! Joey: Hey! Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off? Joey: No. Y'know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail. Chandler: Yeah! Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step. Chandler: You're building a post office? Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. It's a one day job, max. Chandler: Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug. Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valente's. (Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.) Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there. Opening Credits [Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.] Rachel: (joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs. Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Any sign of your brother? Phoebe: No, but he's always late. Rachel: I thought you only met him once? Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, 'Frank's always late.' Rachel: Well relax, he'll be here. Phoebe: No, I know, I'm just nervous. Y'know it's just y'know Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister, Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately. It's like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. You're so sweet to wait with me. Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here, it's a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside) [Scene: inside Central Perk] Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute? Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox. Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list. Joey: Her what? Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad. Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities. Monica: So, Chandler, who's on your list? Chandler: Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit. Rachel: Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon, and way out of your league? Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head. Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be? Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list. Joey: It's just a game Mon. (makes a 'Can-you-believe-her' face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you? Rachel: Oh, I don't know, I guess, Chris O'Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson. Ross: Spiderman? Rachel: Hardy Boy. Chandler: Peter Parker. Ross: Thank you. Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list? Ross: Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, I'll divide my perspective canidates into catergories.... Chandler: (coughing) What a geek! Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank. All: Oh, hi. Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross. Frank: How are you? Ross: Hey. Phoebe: Chandler. Chandler: Hi. Frank: Hi. Phoebe: Joey. Joey: Hey-hey! Frank: Hey. Phoebe: This is Monica. Frank: Whoa! Phoebe: And this is Rachel. Rachel: Hi! Frank: Whoa!! Phoebe: I'm gonna get coffee. Frank: Hey, how do you guys get anything done? Chandler: We don't, really. Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans? Phoebe: Oh yeah! Yeah, no, we're gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything. Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker. Chandler: You know, we don't really take advantage of living in the city. Joey: I know. [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandler's head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.] Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya? Chandler: No, you didn't get me!! It's an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!! Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not? Chandler: I do NOT want this unit!! Joey: Well, you should've told me that before, I'm not a mind reader. Hey, we're out of beer. I'm going to Monica's. Chandler: Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering] Monica: Hey! Where 'ya headin' in those pants? 1982? Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor. Monica: Why, what's wrong with my bathroom floor? Joey: Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all. Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom) Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah. Monica: I can't live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? Joey: Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer) . This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.) Monica: That's a little more than I wanted to see. Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. It'd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him) Monica: I can't leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor. (Joey places the toliet brush and holder over the hole, which is in the middle of the floor.) Joey: Eh! There you go. Monica: You know that's nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon! [Scene: Phoebe's, Frank and her, are sitting on the counh, watching TV] Phoebe: (sits up) Oh, ew! Frank: What? Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldn't, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad. Frank: What, wait, you mean like this? (does it) Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but can't) Frank: Your not doing it. Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I can't. We don't have that.... Frank: When's your birthday? Phoebe: Feburary 16th. Frank: I know a guy who's the 18th. Phoebe: Wow, that's close. When's yours? Frank: October 25th. Phoebe: That's the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home? Frank: Melt stuff. [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list] Ross: Okay, I've got three of my five. Rachel: Three of your five, what? Ross: Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with. Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought. Ross: Yeah, it's hard okay, I only have two spots left. Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to? Ross: Okay, Elizabeth Hurely.... Chandler: Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving. Ross: Susan Sarandon. Chandler: Eh, y'know what, she's to political, she probably wouldn't let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first. Ross: And!! Isabella Rosselini. Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know she's too international, y'know she's never gonna be around. Rachel: So? Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody who's gonna be in the country like all the time. Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rosselini, geography. [Scene: Phoebe's, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.] Phoebe: Okay so, by melting, you meant melting. Frank: Yeah. Phoebe: So is it like art? Frank: Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone? Phoebe: Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom? Frank: No, I wanna melt it. Phoebe: Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know I'm just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache. Frank: (starts laughing) Yeah! Phoebe: G'night, bro. Frank: G'night. Phoebe: Here. (gives him a fire extinguisher) Y'know, just in case. Frank: Oh, excellent. (starts to melt the fire extinguisher's hose.) Commercial Break [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony] Monica: What kind of karate is that? Phoebe: No kind. He just makes it up. Monica: So how's it going with you guys? Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I don't know, I just thought y'know that he'd feel more like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and.... Monica: Oh honey, we're close now but you-you wouldn't believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and.... (Phoebe shakes her head like she doesn't understand) That's where the waistband actually goes over your head. Phoebe: Ah!! Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game. Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game? Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game? Phoebe: I just asked you. Monica: I just asked you. Phoebe: I don't have time for this. Monica: No, that is what the game is. Phoebe: Which you just gave up really quickly. Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey? Monica: What's the matter? Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Y'know what it's my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish. Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles. Chandler: What's going on? Monica: He's retiling my floor. (they both run to the bathroom) Chandler: Yo!! Spackel boy! Get up! Monica: Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it. Chandler: He started mine first! Phoebe: Build the unit Cinderelly, lay the tile Cinderelly. [Scene: Phoebe's, Phoebe and Frank are watching TV.] Frank: Whoa! Big octopus. Phoebe: Yeah. (phone rings and Phoebe answers it) 'Hello. (listens) Oh my God, I totally forgot! (listens) Well can't someone else do it. (listens) But, I have company. (listens) Yeah, no look, that's all right I'll come in.' (hangs up phone) Um, Frank, I'm really sorry but I have to go to work. It's-it's one of my regulars and he's insisting that I do 'um. Frank: Hey, what kind of work do you do? Phoebe: Oh! I'm a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff. Frank: You-you work at one of those massage parlors? Phoebe: Well, y'know we don't call it that, but yeah! Frank: (starts laughing) Wow! That's wild! No, I had no idea. Phoebe: All righty. I'll be back in-in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me? Frank: You mean like watch? Phoebe: No, no, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house! Y'know what are big sisters for? Frank: Well, I don't think this, y'know. Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldn't do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, I'll get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited? Frank: Yeah! Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there? [Scene: Monica and Rachel's bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.] Monica: It's beautiful! It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for? Chandler: What, like a number? Ross: (entering) Hey! Chandler: Hi! Bye! (runs to the bathroom) Ross: Okay, I'm done with my choices, these are final. (holds up a little card) Rachel: Well, it's about time. Joey: Ooh, very official. Ross: Oh, yeah, well y'know Chandler printed it up on his computer. Monica: And who laminated it? Ross: That would be me. Rachel: All right let me see. (grabs the card) Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurely, Michelle Pfieffer, and Dorothy Hammel? Ross: Hey, it's my list. Rachel: Okay honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice. [Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebe's work) , Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.] Frank: Ow!-Ow!-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Y'know, ow! Phoebe: Hey!-Hey! What's going on? Frank: She broke my arm. Girl: He touched my fanny. Frank: No, she touched mine first! Girl: That's my job! Frank: So wait, what's the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I can't touch you? Phoebe and Girl: Ewww!!! Phoebe: You can't have sex with her! Girl: What'd you think I was, a hooker? Frank: No, your a masseuse, it's cool, I'm not a cop. Phoebe: Okay, Jasmine, can you, can you ask Mr. Whiffler if he can wait for like five minutes. Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I don't like you!! (leaves) Phoebe: (turns around and hits Frank) So that's what you thought I did!! God! That's not what I do! Frank: Wait that's-that's, what that's not what you do? Phoebe: Nooo! Why would you think that? Frank: I don't know, I mean, y'know, this is the city y'know, I just, I mean, I don't know. Phoebe: Whatever, it's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways. Frank: Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I can't believe that I screwed it up so bad. Phoebe: You really thought it was perfect? Frank: Well, no, maybe-maybe it wasn't perfect, but y'know it was pretty cool, y'know, 'cause we had all those great talks y'know. Phoebe: Yeah, um, which ones in particular were great for you? Frank: Well y'know about the tongue thing, y'know, and how I told you about my likes and my dislikes... Phoebe: I don't.... Frank: How-how I like to melt stuff, and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt. Phoebe: Right, okay, um-mm. Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you 'cause y'know you're my sister, y'know. Phoebe: Yeah, I guess I do, yeah. Frank: Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me. Phoebe: Well, I-I wasn't hopping mad, y'know. Frank: You hopped a little bit. Yeah, I really sorry. Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this. Frank: This? Phoebe: Uh-huh. Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker... Phoebe: She wasn't a hooker. Frank: Well, when I tell my friends about her she will be. [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, everyone is there, helping to lift the entertainment center into place] Chandler: Okay, on three. One....Two.... Joey: Why don't we just go on two. Chandler: Why two? Joey: Because it's faster. Chandler: Yeah, I coulda counted to three like four times without all this 'two' talk. Rachel: Oh! Joey: All right, but in the future... Ross: Okay!! Okay!! Rachel: Come on! Ross: Heavy thing, not getting lighter! Chandler: Okay, one...two... Joey: So we are going on two? All: All right!! (they lift it into place, however there is one small problem, the unit is so long that it blocks some of both of their bedroom doors.) Chandler: Oh, good job Joe. Joey: Wow, it's big! Chandler: Yeah-yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller! Joey: Maybe, my ruler's wrong. Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong. Joey: Look it's not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door. Chandler: Yeah, y'know what I got a better idea. How-how 'bout it blocks none of mine door and a lot of yours? (throws his shoulder into the center to try and move it, but it doesn't move.) Joey: Yeah, listen, before I forget that side is still wet. [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving some guy coffee.] Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak. (Isabella Rosselini enters) Ross: (to Gunther) Thank you. Isabella: (to Gunther) Um, coffee to go, please. (Ross recognises her and goes over to the couch, mouthing 'Oh my God' Ross: Isabella Rosselini. (points to her) Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God. Ross: Damn! I can't believe I took her off my list. Monica: Why? 'Cause otherwise you'd go for it? Ross: Yeah, maybe. Rachel: Oh-oh, you lie. Ross: What you don't think I'd go up to her? Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me. Ross: Yeah, well missy, you better be glad that list is laminated. Rachel: You know what honey, you go ahead, we'll call her an alternate. Ross: Okay, hold my crawler. Rachel: Okay. Monica: Rach, are you really gonna let him do this? Rachel: Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rosselini. I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn. Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, I'm Ross, you don't know me, but I'm a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one? Isabella: Aren't you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back) Ross: Well, yeah, kinda. Um, but that's okay, see we have an understanding, um, see we each have this list of five famous people, (gets his out) so I'm allowed to sleep with you. No, no, no, it's flattery. Isabella: I'm sorry. (starts to leave) Ross: Oh no, no, no, wait, wait, Isabella. Don't, don't just dismiss this so fast. I mean this is a once in a lifetime opportunity... Isabella: Yeah, for you. Is that the list? Ross: Um, yeah. Isabella: May I see it? Ross: Um, no. Isabella: Come on! (grabs the list) Ross: But, okay. Isabella: (reading it) I'm not on the list! Ross: Um, see, but that's not the final draft. Isabella: It's laminated! Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local. Isabella: Y'know it's ironic... Ross: What? Isabella: ...because I have a list of five goofy coffee house guys and yesterday I bumped you for that guy over there. (points at a guy and leaves) Ross: (to the rest of the gang) We're just gonna be friends. Closing Credits [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, they are admiring the entertainment center] Joey: Y'know what? Chandler: Umm? Joey: I bet 'ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center) Chandler: I've got five bucks says you can't. Joey: Get out your checkbook, mister. Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash. (Joey successfully enters the entertainment center, and Chandler closes the door on Joey.) Joey: You are dogged man! I totally fit! Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors won't open) I'm out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go. Joey: Thank you. Cha-ching! (Chandler starts to leave) Oh, well hello Mr. Lincoln. Better luck next time buddy. (Chandler leaves and closes the door) And the drinks are on me! End 305 菲比的弟弟小福兰克 怎么回事,森林惹到你了? 我们一直说需要信件柜 所以我就动工了,然后呢 我决定更进上一层楼 你要盖邮局? 不是,是一个娱乐专用柜 内含信件柜 最多一天干完 你的裤子还真贴啊 这是我的旧工作裤 “亚曼范伦铁”牌的 刚才电锯有点失控 菲此,你弟出现了吗? 还没,不过他很爱迟到 你不是只见过他一次? 是啊 这样讲有姊姊的派头 “法兰克老是迟到” 别急,他会来的 我知道,我只是很紧张 我妈死了,我不和我姊说话 奶奶最近都在睡觉 这是我拥有家人的 最后机会 你真好,还陪我等 是阿甘叫我来的, 杯子不能拿出来 还有谁觉得 大卫考柏菲可爱? 没有,不过他告诉我 他觉得你很帅 珍妮丝喜欢他 喜欢到把他放进她的 名人性爱名单里 她的什么? 我们说好 每人可以挑五个名人上床 另一个人不准生气 这是健全男女关系的要素 诚实、尊重、与名人上床 你的名单有谁? 金贝辛格 辛蒂克劳馥、荷莉贝瑞 雅丝敏布丽丝 和罗杰兔的老婆洁西卡 你知道她是卡通人物 而且和你不同挂吧? 我知道,我是看看我 能不能让她的眼珠掉出来 摩妮卡,你会选谁? 我得先交男朋友,才能列名单 只是好玩嘛, 瑞秋,你呢? 不晓得,应该是克里斯欧唐纳 小约翰甘乃迪 丹尼尔戴路易斯、史汀和帕克史蒂文生 蜘蛛人? 哈第兄弟神探 是彼得帕克谢谢 (其实瑞秋才是对的) 你呢? 你会选谁? 这种事需要深思熟虑 我会先把可能人选 分门别类 怪人 各位,这是法兰克 我同父异母的弟弟 就是他们 这是罗斯 这是摩妮卡 这是瑞秋 我去点咖啡 你们怎么做得了事? 我们是没做什么事 你们有什么计划吗? 有,我们要好好的联络感情 我们会去时代广场 买几个忍者娃娃 我朋友赖瑞托我 拍妓女的照片 我们在纽约都白住了 抱歉,我钻到你了? 没有,你没有钻到我 那是电钻 你要是钻到我,我就死了 别激动 你要不要这个柜子嘛? 我不要这个柜子 你不早说,我又不会心电感应 没有啤酒了,我要去对面 好! 你穿这样要去哪里? 1982年? 对了,我在装潢建材店 看到名牌瓷砖在特价 你可以重铺浴室地板 我的浴室地板怎么了? 没什么,只是又旧又暗 没有这回事 你把篮子移开… 就能看到瓷砖原来的颜色 这样我怎么住! 怎么办? 别激动,拿着 瓷砖一撬就掉,我弄给你看 我没想到你要撬它 你看看,黏得多死啊 撬也撬不完,我看你别管了 怎么能不管 你在我的旧地板上撬了个洞 这样就好了 挺好的 塞进你的屁股里会更好 我知道我要问什么了 你会卷舌头吗? 因为我会,但是我妈不会 我想那一定是爸的遗传 等一下,你是说这样? 对,你也会 你没有卷啊 好吧 所以是我妈会,我不会 我们这一点不一样 你的生日是哪一天? 2月16日 我认识一个18日的人 蛮近的 你的生日呢? 10月25日 跟万圣节同一个月 你在家里喜欢做什么? 烧东西 好,我已经挑了三个 三个什么? 可以上床的名人 天哪,你还真慎重 很难挑好吗? 我只剩两个空缺 你筛选出谁了? 伊丽莎白赫莉 大美女 心胸宽大 苏珊莎兰登 她太热衷政治了 她可能会叫你先捐四个罐头 还有伊莎贝拉罗塞里尼 很辣、很性感 但是太国际化了 她不会跑来美国的 所以呢? 所以你得掌握胜算 挑一个会一直在国内的人 对啊,你之所以钓不到她 是地理因素 你说的“烧”就是烧 这是艺术吗? 要烧艺术也可以 可以借个电话吗? 当然,你要打给你妈? 不是,我想拿来烧 现在不行 我要去睡了,烟熏得我头痛 晚安,老弟 晚安 拿去 以防万一 太好了 那是什么空手道? 什么都不是 那是他自创的 你们处得怎样? 蛮烂的 我以为他会更有兄弟的感觉 就像你和罗斯,亲密融洽 现在是很亲,但是以前 我们又吵又打,又拉又扯 然后裙子就会被扯到头上来 我们还学舌去烦对方 怎么学舌? 我在问你啊 我在问你啊 我没空跟你闹 你放弃得真快 有看到乔伊吗?怎么了? 就是这个 其实是我不好, 沙发就是用来放亮光漆的 把瓷砖拿给我 怎么回事? 他在帮我重铺地板 泥水匠 给我起来! 你要有始有终! 是我先受害的 灰姑娘,去钉柜子; 灰姑娘,去铺瓷砖 大章鱼 天哪,我都忘了 不能找别人吗? 但是我有客人 没关系,我去 对不起,我得去工作 我的一个熟客坚持要让我做 你在做什么工作? 我是按摩师 我帮客人按摩 你在按摩院工作? 我们不那样叫,不过没错 好劲爆 我完全不知道 好吧 我过一会儿就回来 除非你想跟我去 你是说去看吗? 不是,你也可以接受服务 而且是免费招待 不然要姊姊干什么? 我并没有这么想 不… 我不会亲自招呼你 那样很奇怪 我会请其他小姐来做; 我帮客人按摩 真好玩 嘿,激动吗? 摩妮卡和瑞秋也在那里工作吗? 好漂亮 之前的地板好像一场噩梦 你想进去干什么? 嘘嘘如何? 再见 好,我选好了 这是最后名单 对啊,好正式 对,这是钱德用他的电脑印的 谁拿去护贝的? 是我 拿来我看看 乌玛舒曼、薇诺娜瑞德 伊莉莎白赫莉 蜜雪儿菲佛 桃乐丝汉弥尔?(溜冰名将) 这是我的名单 你知道她只有在冰上 才会一直转吧? “舒活之家” 怎么了? 她扭断了我的手 他摸我的屁股 是她先摸我的 那是我的工作 什么意思? 我可以上你,却不能摸你? 你不能上她 你以为我是妓女? 不,我知道你是按摩师; 很好,我又不是警察 你去请威佛先生等5分钟 好 我不喜欢你 你以为我是干那行的?天哪 我不是干那行的 你不是干那行的? 不是 你怎么会这么想? 不知道,这里是纽约嘛 我是说… 我不知道 随便,好一个完美的周末 完美的句点 等一下 你说得没错,真的很完美 我居然把它搞砸了 你觉得很完美? 也许称不上完美 但很酷 我们相处很愉快 你觉得哪一次特别愉快? 就是卷舌头的事 还有我告诉你我喜欢什么,讨厌什么 我喜欢烧东西, 不喜欢不能烧的东西 对,好 我有话都能对你说 因为你是我姊姊 是那样 结果我却摸你朋友 惹你生气 我也没有气到跳脚 你有跳一、两下 我真的很抱歉 算了 我觉得现在这一刻最棒了 现在? 拜托,我们去了时代广场 买到忍者娃娃, 我差点被妓女扭断手 她不是妓女 我跟朋友吹嘘时,她就是 数到三 一,二 为什么不直接到二? 为什么二? 这样比较快 要不是你噜唆,早就数到三了 好,但是以后…这个柜子很重,好吗 一,二 所以要数到二吗? 乔伊,干得好 哇 好大 可能是量尺有问题 可能所有的量尺都有问题 还好嘛,你的挡一点点 我的挡一点点 我有更好的主意 干脆不要挡我的, 都去挡你的 先说一声,那边油漆未干 我跟你确认一下 是咖啡因减半、中大杯少许榛果糖浆 无脂无沫、加热的咖啡,对吧? 太好了 变态 谢谢 一杯咖啡外带 是伊莎贝拉罗塞里尼 不会吧?天哪 该死!我居然把她删掉 怎么?不然你会行动吗? 搞不好 骗人 你不认为我会行动? 你花了十年 承认你喜欢我 是吗? 你最好庆幸这份名单已经护贝了 这样吧,你放马过去 就当她是候补人选 好,帮我拿 你真的要让他去? 亲爱的,他要去泡贝拉罗塞里尼耶 可惜没有爆米花可吃 你好,我是罗斯 你不认识我但我是你的超级影迷 我是说… 《蓝色夜合花》 我能不能请你喝一杯咖啡? 或是把钱给你 你不是跟那个女生一对? 算是啦 但是没关系,我们有共识 我们都有一份五个人的名人录 你就在我的名单上 所以我可以跟你上床 这是恭维 还是算了 等一下嘛,伊莎贝拉 先别急着否决 这可是千载难逢的机会 对你而言 这就是名单? 我可以看吗? 恩,不行 我不在名单上 这不是定案 都护贝了 对,好吧,你本来在名单上 但是我的朋友钱德… 指出你太国际化了 所以我拿薇诺娜瑞德取代你, 比较本土 真是太讽刺了因为我也有一份名单 列了五个咖啡店蠢人 就在昨天,那个人取代了你 当朋友就好了 你知道吗? 我赌我塞得进去 我拿5元赌你塞不进去 掏支票吧,先生 我有现金 你太逊了 我塞得刚刚好 是啊,被你赢了 我输了5元大钞 拿去吧 谢谢 总统先生,你好 祝你下次好运 酒钱由我出
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