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首页 615 The One That Could Have Been

615 The One That Could Have Been.doc

615 The One That Could Have Be…

nkliuqi
2018-09-08 0人阅读 举报 0 0 暂无简介

简介:本文档为《615 The One That Could Have Beendoc》,可适用于文学艺术领域

TheOneThatCouldHaveBeenScene:CentralPerk,everyoneisthereasRachelentersRachel:Hey,youguys!GuesswhatBarryandMindyaregettingadivorce!Monica:OhmyGod!Phoebe:Wow!Joey:(ToRoss)Whatisthematterwithyou!Phoebe:No!BarryandMindyJoey:Ohsorry,IheardivorceIimmediatelygotoRoss(ToRachel)Whowho’sBarryandMindyRachel:BarrywastheguythatIwasalmostmarriedandMindywasmybestfriendJoey:Ohhoh,wasn’thecheatingonyouwithherRachel:Yeah,butthatjustmeansthathewasfallingasleepontopofherinsteadofmeMonica:WhydidtheygetdivorcedRachel:Well,apparentlyshecaughthimcheatingonherwithsomeoneelseIsn’tthatsad(Giggles)God,couldyouimagineifIactuallymarriedhim!ImeanhowdifferentwouldmylifebeRoss:Iknowwhatyoumean,I’vealwayswonderedhowdifferentmylifewouldbeififI’dnevergottendivorcedPhoebe:WhichtimeRoss:Thefirsttime!Noseriously,imagineifCarolhadn’trealizedshewasalesbianJoey:(startstoimagineit)Ican’tIkeepseeingitthegoodwayRoss:I’dbetI’dstillbedoingmykaratay(That’skarate,he’sjustsayingitthatway)TowardstheendofourmarriageIwasdoingalotofkarattheturningoutthelampandshuttingoffallthelightsbitfromthefirstseasonJustrememberonething,thisisanalternateuniverseEverythingfromeveryotherepisodedoesn’tapply,forinstance,RossandRachelhavenohistoryAndinfacthavenotseeneachotherinyearsinthisworld}Scene:Anewsstand,RossisbuyingamagazineandgetsinlinebehindawomanRoss:(recognizingher)OhmyGod!RachelGreenRachel:(gasps)RobTillman!Ross:NonoIt’sit’sme,Ross!Rachel:Oh,I’msorryRossTillmanRoss:No,nono,RossGellerRachel:Ohh,ofcourseMonica’sbrother!Ross:YeahRightRachel:Wow!Howareyou!Ross:Goodgood,I’mI’mmarried(Showsherhisring)Rachel:Ohh!Metoo!Ross:Isisn’titthebestRachel:Oh,it’sthebest!(Theybothexhalecontemplatingthejoysofmarriage)So,ummhow’sMonicaRoss:Ohreally,reallygreat!Yeah!Aactuallyshe’srightdownthestreet,umm,dodoyouknowwhatYoushouldstopbyeandsayhiRachel:Ohh,IwouldlovetooRoss:YeahOhoh,she’dbesoexcited!Rachel:Ohh!Okay!Ross:Comeon!(Theystarttoleave)Rachel:Ohwait,don’tyouhavetopayforyour,(looksathismagazine)BustyLadiesRoss:No,it’sokaySomesomekidaskedmetopickitupforhim,butIdon’t…Rachel:(laughs)OhyeahOkayRoss:(puttingthemagazinebackandholdingthemoneyforit)OkayRachel:But!Don’tyouhavetogivehimhismoneybackRoss:Uhhuh(Stepstoarandomkidnearbyandhandshimhismoney)Hey,hereyougobuddySorry,nopornforyou(ToRachel)Okay,let’sgoseeMonica!Scene:CentralPerk,Joey,FatMonica,andherboyfriendaresittingonthecouchMonica’sboyfriendisgettinguptogetsomethingForfuturereference,fortherestofthisepisodeMonica’sfat,Iwon’tbecallingherFatMonicathroughoutJoey:SoMonica,stillgoingoutwithDrBoringhuhMonica:He’snotboring!He’sjusthe’sjustlowkeyMonica'sBoyfriend:(returning)Herewego,oneHazelnutLatte(HandsittoMonicaandsitsdown)Monica:ThanksMonica'sBoyfriend:YeahY’know,thehazelnutactuallynotanut,it’saseedJoey:(notimpressed)Wow!!Monica'sBoyfriend:Cananyoneelsenameawellknownseedthat’sbeenmasqueradingasanutJoey:OhdearGod,letmethink(Startstosarcasticallythinkaboutit)Chandler:(entering,depressed)HeyJoey:HeyMonica:Ohno!What’sthematterChandler:OhIjustgotanotherrejectionletterTheysaidmywritingwasfunny,justnot"ArchieComicfunny"Monica'sBoyfriend:Y’knowwhathoneyIgottogetbacktothehospitalMonica:OkayMonica'sBoyfriend:(kissesher)OkayMonica:ByeMonica'sBoyfriend:Byebye(Getsuptoleave)Ohuh,bytheway,theansweris,theBrazilnut(Exits)Chandler:Washisquestionwhat’smoreboringthanhimJoey:Heyman,looksorryaboutthatArchiethingDouh,doyouneedmetogiveyousomemoneyChandler:Hey,Imayhavenomoney,butIstillhavemyprideJoey:ReallyChandler:EhhMonica:MaybeJoeydoesn’thavetogiveyouthemoney,TVstarshaveassistantsrightJoey:That’sanidea!(ToChandler)Hey,ifIhiredanassistant,wouldwouldyoutakemoneyfromherMonica:NoJoey!Chandlercouldbeyourassistant!See,hecouldanswerallofyourfanmailandstuff!Joey:That’sgreat!Thatwouldbegreat!Let’sdothat!Chandler:IcouldusethemoneyitcouldgivemetimetowriteJoey:Ohrightgreat!Welcomeaboard!Chandler:Okay!Joey:Allright!Nowhey,IneedtousethebathroomSinceIdon’tneedanyassistanceinthere,takeabreak!Chandler:Allright!(AsJoeygoestothebathroom,CorporatePhoebeentersShe’swearingabusinesssuitandcarryingabriefcase)Phoebe:(entering)Hey!Monica:HeyPhoebe!GuesswhatPhoebe:WhatMonica:JoeyjusthiredChandlertobehisassistant!Phoebe:Ohhthat’ssosweet!(Hercellphonerings)Oh!Hangon!(Quicklygrabsacigaretteandstartstolightitasherphonerings)Hangonnnnnn!!!(Getsthecigarettelightedandanswersthephone)(Onphone)Go!!No!Nono!Isaidsellwhenithits!,it’sanumber!Itcomesafter!!No,it’sokayIt’sokay,you’reallowedonemistakeJustkidding,youareofcoursefired(ShehangsupasRossandRachelenter)Ross:HeyMon!Monica:Hey!Ross:Mon,lookwhoIraninto!(GesturestowardsRachel)Monica:(getsupandgasps)OhmyGod!Rachel!!(Rachelisstunnedtoseethatherlonglostfriendisstillfat)(MonicagoesoverandgivesRachelabigbearhug,whichisquiteeasyforher)Youlookterrific!Rachel:Ohh,sodoyou!Didyouloseweight(She’snotquitesureofthatone)Monica:Youaresosweettonotice!Yes,Ilostthreeandahalfpounds!Ross:And,anduh,youyouremembermyfriendChandler(Pointstohim)Chandler:HeyRachel:OhyeahRoss:Andthat’sPhoebeoverthere!(Pointstoher)Phoebe:Hi!Monica:OhmyGod,sitdown!Sitdown!Howlongasitbeensincewe’veseeneachotherRoss:(answeringit),thedayafterChristmas,atSeanMcMahon’spartyIplayedyouoneofmysongs,y’knowInterplanetaryCourtshipRitualRachel:OhyeahRightSonow,aredoyou,doyoustilldomusicRoss:Sometimes,youshouldcomeover(Joeyreturnsfromthebathroom)sometime!I’llplayyouoneofmyother…Rachel:(interruptinghimandseeingJoey)OhmyGod!JoeyTribbianifromDaysofOurLives,justwalkedinhere!Monica:Rach,he’safriendofoursRachel:(stunned)YouarefriendswithDrDrakeRemorayChandler:Wellit’skindahardtobefriendswithDrakebecauseofhisbusyscheduleandthefactthathe’snotrealRoss:(ToRachel)Heyhey,orIcouldbringmykeyboardoverheresometime!Rachel:He’scomingover!He’scomingover!Monica:(gettingup)Joey!Joey:(holdingaplateofwhatlookslikeRiceCrispiesTreats)Iknow,herehere!!(Handshertheplate)Monica:Ohhh!(Takestheplate)No!ThisismyfriendRachel,wewenttoHighSchooltogetherRachel:(gigglesandcan’tlookathim)Hi!Joey:(shakingRachel’shand)Hi!Rachel:(stillnotquiteabletolookathim)Hi!Iloveyouonthatshow!Iwatchyoueveryday!Imean,whenyoutookoutyourownkidneytosaveyourexwifeeventhoughshetiredtokillyou…Joey:Well,it’salwaysnicetomeetthefansRachel:Ah!Joey:(turningandwhisperingtoMonica)She’snotcrazyissheMonica:NoJoey:(ToRachel)Souh,howyoudoin’Scene:MonicaandPhoebe's,Monica,Chandler,andPhoebearetherePhoebe’scellphoneringsandshegoesthroughherlittleroutineoflightingacigarettebeforeansweringthephonePhoebe:Hangon!Hangon!Hangon!(Answeringthephone)Go!!Who’sthis(Listens)Ohokay,you’regonnalikeworkingformeWhat’syourname(Listens)WhatkindofnameisBrendyI…Whatever…Stoptalking!Allright,fromnowonyournameisJoanYoucanpickyourownlastnameJoey:(entering)Heythereyouare!Chandler:Uhoh,it’smyboss!Joey:Allright,here’salistofthingsforyoutodotodayMan,thisgoingtobesogreat!Thankyousomuch!Allright,IgottogotoworkI’mdeliveringtwinstoday,butonlyoneofthemismine!(Exits)Chandler:(readingthelist)DropoffmydrycleaningPickupmyvitaminsTeachmehowtospellvitaminsWearinmynewjeansMonica:(laughs)Yourealizewhatyouaredon’tyouChandler:WhatMonica:You’rehisbitchPhoebe:(yellingfromMonica’sroom)Nono!!No!!Monica:(panicked)Ohwait!Youdidn’tjustsitonmyKitKatsdidyou!!Phoebe:No!Theretherewasalittle,alittlediffinthemarketandIlostmilliondollarsChandler:ButtheKitKatsareallright!Phoebe:WhatamIgonnado!WhatamIgonnado!Ican’tcallmyofficethey’llkillme!Ican’tcallmyclientsthey’llkillthemselves!Great,nowmychestheartsMonica:What!Phoebe:(louder)Mychesthurts!Oh,andnowIIcan’tbreatheChandler:Phoebe,areyouhavingaheartattack!Phoebe:Oh,ifIwere,wouldwouldIhaveshootingpainsupanddownmyleftarmMonica:Yes!!Phoebe:ThenyesthatiswhatI’mhaving(Takesanotherpuffofthecigarette)Monica:OhmyGod!CommercialBreakScene:Ahospital,PhoebeisrecoveringfromherheartattackasRoss,Monica,andChandleraretheretocomfortandsupportherRoss:ComeonPheebs,it’snotthatbad!Y’knowmostpeoplewouldbeexcitediftheydidn’thavetoworkforacoupleofweeksPhoebe:Mostpeopledon’tliketheirjobs,Ilovemyjob!IhavenotbeenworkingforthreehoursandI’malreadygoingcrazyImissJoanMonica:Honey,havingaheartattackisnature’swayoftellingyoutoslowitdownChandler:Ialwaysthoughthavingaheartattackwasnature’swayoftellingyoutodie!(Phoebeglaresathim)Butyou’renotgonnadieImean,youaregoingtodie,butyou’renotgonnadietodayIwishIwasdeadMonica:Let’stakeawalk(Theystarttoleave)Y’knowmaybeyoushouldconsiderwritingforTalkingOutofYourAssmagazine!(Theyexit)Phoebe:(ToRoss)Sowhat’sgoingonwithyouRoss:Wellumm,I’vebeendoingalotmoreofmykaratayPhoebe:StillgoingthroughthatdryspellwithCarolRoss:YeahPhoebe:HowlonghasitbeensinceyouhadsexRoss:Well,lastweekend…Phoebe:Ohthat’snotsobadRoss:…willbetwomonths…Phoebe:ThatisRoss:…sinceIstoppedtryingPhoebe:MaybeyouneedtospicethingsupalittleRoss:WhatwhatdoyoumeanPhoebe:Idon’tknowYoucouldtieherup,shecouldtieyouupyoucouldeatstuffoffeachother…Ross:OhPhoebe:Y’know,dirtytalk,ménageàtrois,toys…Ross:Wow!Phoebe:Rollplaying…YoucouldbethewardenshecouldbetheprisonerYoucouldbethepirateshecouldbethewench!Ross:Okay,IthinkIgotitPhoebe:Yeah!Ortoo,youcouldbetwostockbrokersandyou’reyou’reyou’rerollingaroundnakedonthetradingfloorandeverybody’swatching!(Rosslooksather)ItneverhappenedScene:Ahospitalhallway,ChandlerissittingonagurneywithhishandsspreadoutbehindhisbackThenMonicacomesandplopsdownonthegurneyandoneofhishandsChandlerimmediatelyrecoilsinextremepainMonica:SorrySohow’sitgoingwithJoeyChandler:OhjustgreatHebeepsmenowwithcodesOneis,"Bringmefood"Twois,"I’mwithagirl,bringusfood"Threeis,"I’mlostandIcan’tfindfood"Joey:(entering)Hey!Isuh,isshegonnabeallrightMonica:Yeah!She’srightinthere!(PointstoPhoebe’sroom)Joey:Ohgreat(Startstogoin)(ToChandler)Hey!Gotakeoffthosepants,theylookready!Scene:SilvercupStudios,JoeyisshowingRachelaroundthesetJoey:Allright,andoverthereisBrady’sPubwhereIliketounwindafteralongdayofsurgeoningRachel:Wow!Thisissoamazing!WhatelseWhatelseJoey:Well,thatisalargepieceoftelevisionequipment(Pointsatalargepieceoftelevisionequipmentasanoldmanwalksby)Anduhthatisanoldman!Heyoldman!Rachel:Hey!Joey:Allrighty,whatdoyousayweheadbacktomyplaceRachel:(laughs)Wow!Umm,y’know,IIwouldreallyloveto,butIIshouldn’tJoey:Why(InDrake’svoice)Whycan’ttheworldstopturning,justforamomentJustforusRachel:(awestruck,thennot)Isn’tthatalinefromtheshow!Joey:Uh,yeahbutuh,(InDrake’svoice)Imayhavesaidthosethingsbeforebut,InevertrulymeantthemUntilnowRachel:That’salinefromtheshowtoo!Joey:Okay,youwatchtoomuchTVChandler:(approaching)HereyougoJoe,here’sthefreshlysqueezedorangejuiceyouaskedfor(Handsittohim)Joey:Thanks!(Looksatit)Yeah,there’spulpinthat(Handsitback)Chandler:YeahJoey:IthoughtwetalkedaboutthisIdon’tlikepulpNopulpPulpisn’tjuiceAlljuice,okayChandler:I’msorry,IguessIjustlikethepulpJoey:OhmyGod,I’msorry,I’mbeingsorude(TurnstoRachel)Rachel,wouldlikeasodaorsomethingBecauseChandlerwouldrunrightoutandgetitRachel:Yeahsure,icedteawouldbegreatJoey:(ToChandler)IcedteaChandler:Okay,anythingforyousirJoey:(ToRachel)DidInotjusttellhimRachel:(mouthingittohim)Yes,youdidJoey:(ToChandler)Okaylook,Chandler,ifthis(Motionsbackandforthindicatingthearrangement)youhavegottolisten!(Tugsonhisear)(Chandlerglaresathim)You’regonnathrowthatjuiceatme,aren’tyaChandler:It’snotalljuice!(Rachelquicklygetsoutoftheway)Scene:RossandCarol's,RossistryingtotalktoCarolaboutwhatPhoebetoldhimRoss:Sohoney,thismorningwasfun,huhMehoppinginonyouintheshowerthereCarol:Yeah!AndmaybesomedaywecouldgetaplacewithtwobathroomsRoss:LookCarolumm,Iwas,Iwasthinkingmaybeuh,maybewecanspicethingsupalittleCarol:WhatdoyoumeanRoss:Caroloursexlifeisit’sjustnotworking…Ben:(entering)Dad!!(Runsandhugshim)Ross:Heytherelittlefella!Hey,uhhey,whydon’twegetsomeshoesonya,huhHey,whydon’tyoushowdadhowyoucanputyourshoeson,inyourroom!Yay!!Ben:Yay!(Runsoff)Ross:Yay!(ToCarol)Seriously,oursexlife…Iwasthinking,maybeIdon’tknow,wecouldtrysomesomenewthingsY’knowForfunCarol:LikewhatRoss:WellIdon’tknowumm,(Pause)whatifweweretootieeachotherup(Carol’sshockedandobviouslydoesn’tlikethatidea)Umm,somepeopleeatstuffoffoneanother(Caroldoesn’tlikethatideaeither)Nah!Umm,y’knowwewecouldtrydirtytalk(Carolstillsaysno)Umm,wecould,wecouldhaveathreesomeCarol:(quickly)Ilovethatidea!Scene:MonicaandPhoebe's,MonicaiseatingbreakfastasChandlerentersChandler:WhosoldastorytoArchieComics!Monica:OhmyGod!That’sgreat!Ohwow!(Hugshim)You’reapublishedwriter!IwishIhadapresentforyou!Chandler:AwwMonica:Waitaminute!(Quicklychecksherpocketsandpullsout…)MylastKitKatbar!(Chandlertriestotakeit,butMonicawon’tletgoHetugsharder,andshestilldoesn’tbudge)Chandler:YouwannashareitMonica:Okay!!Joey:(entering)Hey!HeyChandlerlook,Iknowyou’remad,butIjustwanttosayI’msorryIIwasatotaljerkCompletelyooverthelineUh,IjustIhatepulp!Y’knowImean,y’knowhowMonicafeelsaboutlowfatmayonnaiseMonica:It’snotmayonnaise!!Joey:Yeah,oooookayanyway,IjustwantedtosayI’msorryHere(Handshimacup)Chandler:What’sthisJoey:Freshsqueezedorangejuice,withpulp!JustthewayyoulikeitChandler:Aww,thanksman(Theyhug)Monica:HeyJoey,ChandlersoldastorytoArchieComics!Joey:OhmyGod!That’sgreat!Congratulations!What’sthestory!Chandler:Ohyouwouldn’tuh,careIt’sjustastupidcomicbookstoryJoey:Areyoukiddingme!IloveArchie!Andthewholegang!Chandler:Welluh,Archieneedsmoneytofixhisjalopy(Joeylaughs),uhbuthedoesn’twantReggietojustgivehimthemoneySoReggiehireshimashisassistashisbutlerAndthenmakeshimdoallthesecrazythingslikebringhimmilkshakesthatcan’thavelumpsinthemJoey:WaitaminuteThatsoundsalittlefamiliar!Didtheyalreadydothatone‘CauseIthinkIreadit!Scene:CentralPerk,MonicaisthereasRachelentersRachel:OhMon,listenIhavetoask!Okay,JoeyTribbianiinvitedmebacktohisapartment,nowdoeshedothiswithalotofgirlsMonica:Yeah,alotAlot,alot!Rachel:Ohh!AndI’moneofthem!!Wow!Oh,Ijustcannotbelievethis!Imean,JoeyTribbiani!Monica:Well,y’knowit’snoneofmybusiness,butaren’tyoumarriedRachel:YeahOhIjustwishwecouldnotbemarriedforalittlebit!Y’knowIjustwishwecouldbelikeonabreak!Monica:Well,you’renotRachel:Oh,it’ssoeasyforyouImean,you’renotmarried,yougettohavesexwithwhoeveryouwant!Monica:YeahIcan!(Laughs)Anddon’tthinkIdon’t,becauseIdo!Imeanallthetime,youbetcha!(Laughs)Rachel:MonicaYou’ve,you’vedoneitrightMonica:(giggles)OfcourseIhave!Whatdoyouthink,I’msomeyearoldvirginRachel:OhmyGod!You’reayearoldvirgin!Monica:Sayitlouder,Idon’tthinktheguyallthewayinthebackheardyou!GuyAlltheWayintheBack:Yeah,IhearditMonica:It’snotlike,Ihaven’tanyopportunitiesImean,y’know,I’mjustwaitingfortheperfectguyI’mseeingthisguyRoger,allrightHe’snotperfect,butumm,IthinkmaybeIshouldjustgetitoverwithY’know,givehimmyflowerRachel:OhmyGod!!Doit!!Honey,you’vewaitedlongenough!!Monica:Y’knowwhatYouareright!Rachel:Yes!!Imeansexdoesnothavetobeabigdeal!Thereshouldn’tbeallthisrulesandrestrictions!Y’know,peopleshouldbeabletosleepwithwhoevertheywant,whenever…Monica:Rachel!I’mnevergonnathinkit’sokayforyoutocheatonyourhusband!Rachel:OhwhatdoyouknowVirgin!Scene:Thehospital,RossandMonicaareinPhoebe’sroomPhoebeisinthebathroomandMonicanoticessmokecomingoutfromunderneaththedoorMonica:Phoebe,whyissmokecomingoutofthebathroom!Phoebe:Ohyeah,thedoctorsaidthatcouldbeoneofthesideeffectsMonica:Phoebe!Putthatcigaretteout!Phoebe:No!It’snotacigarette!Thesmokeiscomingoutofme!Monica:Putitout!!Phoebe:Okay!Okay!(Putsitoutandcomesoutofthebathroom)I’msogladyou’rehereRoss:Comeon(Helpsherintobedasherphonerings)IgotitPhoebe:Oh,giveittomeRoss:Igotit!Phoebe:Giveit!(Hedoesakarataymovetosilenceher,thenanswersthephone)Ross:(onthephone)Hello(Listens)Noshecan’tcometothephonerightnow(Listens)Oh,rightnoproblemOkay,byebye(Hangsup)Phoebe:WasitmyworkWeretheymadWasitJackDidheyell!Ross:Jjjustrelax,nobodyyelledJackjustwascallingtomakesurethatyouweregettingbetterPhoebe:ThankGodRoss:(ToMonica)Yeah,she’sfiredScene:RachelandBarry’sbedroom,RacheliswatchingDaysofOurLivesOfcourseit’saDrDrakeRemoraysceneIt’ssetinahospitalroom,andDrWesleyandanursearetalkingaboutafemalepatientwithabandagearoundherheadNurse:You’vedoneallyoucanDrWesleyYouhavegottolethergoDrWesley:GoodbyeandGodspeed,HopeBrady(HegoestoturnoffamachineSuddenly,DrDrakeRemorayappearsatthedoorwithtwocops!)DrDrakeRemoray:NotsofastWesley!(Racheldoesasilentclap)DrWesley:(withevildrippingoffhistongue)Remoray!DrDrakeRemoray:That’srightWesley!Ijuststoppedbytosaythat,you’renotarealdoctor!Andthatwoman’sbrain,isfine!Rachel:(veryrelived)Oh!ThankGod!CutbacktotheTV,thecopsareleadingDrWesleyout,andastheypassRemorayandWesleyexchangeevilglancesDrDrakeRemoray:Hope!Hope!Hope:(sleepily)Drake!DrDrakeRemoray:You’renotdyingHope,you’regonnalivealong,healthylifeWithmeHope:OhDrakeDrakeandHopekissRachel:Okay!(Shepicksupthephone,Joey’sphonenumber,andstartstodial)Herewego!Okay!(Onphone)Hi,Joey!It’sRachel!Umm,IamfreetomorrownightYeah,sure,sureIcanbringsomesandwichesCommercialBreak假想篇外篇(上集)诸位大新闻!巴利和明蒂闹离婚了!天啊!哇!你什么毛病!错!说的是巴利和明蒂。抱歉一听到离婚我就条件反射以为是罗斯。巴利和明蒂是谁?巴利差点成了我丈夫明蒂是我的闺中密友。哦那他岂不是背着你和她乱搞?是但他跟她睡觉而不是跟我。天啊如果当初嫁给他试问我的生活会变成怎样?我明白你的感触我也常常想如果我没离婚会怎样。哪一次?第一次!老实说如果卡萝没意识到她是同性恋该多好我觉得女同志满好。我肯定还在习武练习空手道在我的婚姻末期我热衷空手道以发泄因缺少某种体力活而积蓄的精力。也许问题出在你讲“空手道”时的发音吧还有我!如果我还肥胖你肯定不会跟我好。我当然照样喜欢你!得了吧!什么?你们都以为我那样浅薄?非也只是莫妮卡着实太胖。嘿如果我没被《光辉岁月》炒鱿鱼!哦又看见卡萝mm了!如果我有种辞掉工作的话哼那我就可以给《纽约客》杂志供稿。我将以幽默为生。当然我现在的工作也满有意思的明天不用戴领带。如果当年我答应去MerrillLynch证券交易所工作的话呢?什么?MerrillLynch我有个按摩客户在那儿上班他说我有做股票的潜质。那你怎么没去?因为当时我认为押韵的事会接二连三的发生!如果我做股票经济我就得住在盒子里只能吃熏鲑鱼还养只狐狸当宠物。嘿如果生活像刚才说的那样我们还会是好朋友吗?“千斤小姐”莫妮卡!瑞秋仍是购物狂并与巴利生活。菲比是华尔街证券精英烟瘾极大。乔伊仍饰演瑞摩瑞医生少女们追逐的对象。钱德立志写作罗斯苦练空手道并一再勾引卡萝。*换种活法*天啊!瑞秋格林?鲍伯提曼?不我是罗斯!对不起罗斯提曼!不不,罗斯盖勒。对了莫妮卡的哥哥!对哇!你好吗!很好我结婚了。哦!我也结婚了!婚姻岂不是妙不可言?的确莫妮卡怎么样很好!她就在附近街上去跟她打个招呼怎么样?好极了。她会很激动的!好啊!走吧!等一下你不是要买杂志吗?这本《性感女郎》?没关系的是个小孩叫我代买的咱们别管他了是吗?好吧莫妮卡,你还在和“乏味医生”交往吗?他并不乏味!他只是比较低调而已。你要的榛果拿铁咖啡。多谢其实榛果并不是果实而是种子。哇!!还有什么种子看来像果实呢?那我得好好想想。嘿嘿怎么啦?又收到一封退稿信。他们说我写得倒是很有趣但不是他们要的那种。宝贝我得回医院了。去吧好再见对了答案就是巴西豆!他是不是在问什么比他更乏味?你又被退稿真替你难过。需要我借钱给你救急吗?嘿我人穷志不短。当真?呃我想乔伊也许不用借钱给你电视明星不都有助理吗?好主意!我雇个助理你就可以从她那儿领钱!乔伊不!你可以雇钱德啊!他可以代你给影迷回信什么的!棒极了!就这么干!这样我就有钱维持生活也有时间写作了。真好!欢迎入伙!好!现在我去洗手间我入厕不需要助理所以你放假!好耶!嘿!嘿菲比!知道吗?什么乔伊刚刚雇了钱德当助理!好可爱!哦别挂!等等!!!讲!!不!不!我是说到点就售出!50是个数字排在后面!算了你犯点小错没什么。我开玩笑的你当然被炒了!嘿莫妮卡!嘿!看我碰见谁了!天啊!瑞秋!!你真漂亮!你也是!你减肥了?你好可爱竟然注意到了!我减肥了磅!还记得我的好友钱德吧嘿。哦你好。那边是菲比你好。坐!我们多长时间没见面了?,圣诞节过后那天在肖恩迈克曼家派对上最后一次见面。我为你表演了我的作品之一《太阳系的求爱仪式》对啊。现在你还玩音乐吗?有时候你应该常常来我可以为你演奏几曲上帝啊!大明星乔伊崔比昂尼演《光辉岁月》的居然走了进来!瑞秋他是我们的朋友。你们竟和瑞摩瑞医生交上了朋友?和瑞摩瑞交朋友难度蛮高的他那么忙而且他只是个虚拟人物。嘿我可以把琴带过来给你表演!他过来了!他过来了!乔伊!知道了给你!!哦不是说这个!我的高中同学瑞秋嗨!嗨!我爱死了你的戏!每天必看!你明知你前妻意图杀你还捐肾给她和影迷见面总是这么愉快啊!她不疯不傻吧?不过得怎么样?等等!等等!讲吧!你是谁?哦你想给我打工啊。叫什么名字?布润蒂算是个什么名字?住口!从今天起你就改叫琼姓什么你自己定。嘿你在这儿呢哦老板驾到!这是你今天的任务列表。谢谢你替我干活!!我要去工作了给一对双胞胎接生但只有其中之一是我的孩子!把我的衣服送去干洗带上维他命教我拼写“维他命”把我的新牛仔裤穿穿大你知道你是什么角色了什么你像他的女人不!!不!!你不会坐到我的奇巧(巧克力)上面了吧不是!股市小震荡我损失了万美金。但奇巧尚安然无恙吧?如何是好?我不能告诉交易所他们会杀了我!我不能告诉我的客户他们会自杀!好极了胸部巨痛怎么了!胸部巨痛!无法呼吸了菲比,你是否心脏病猝发?如果是的话左臂会不会上下牵痛?是的!!那就是心脏病。天啊!菲比住院并不糟糕!若有机会休假很多人都会欣喜若狂他们厌倦工作而我爱工作!三个小时没干活了我快疯了。我挂念琼。宝贝心脏病是上帝要你放慢节奏的信号。我还以为是上帝要人死的信号!当然你死不了。我是说你将来会死但不是今天。我真该死我们出去走走。把你的废话都留给你的破杂志去你怎么回事我对空手道着迷。卡萝对你仍旧爱理不理是啊你没有性生活多长时间了上个周末~那还不算太糟就到两个月了是吗自从我放弃努力算起也许你该给性生活加点猛料你是说?你们可以互相捆绑还可以把食物弄在对方身上并吃掉它哦讲下流话使用情趣用品哇!角色扮演:你扮监狱长而她扮囚犯。你扮海盗而她与你通奸。我明白了你们还可以扮两个证券经济人裸身在众人面前滚来滚去纯属虚构那边的小酒馆我做完手术后常常光顾真棒!还有呢?那是一大块电视仪器那是个老头嘿老爷子!嘿!来我家怎么样哇!我很想去但不行为什么为什么地球不能为你我停止转动?这是台词吧!是啊但是我虽然多次重复过这句话但只有这一刻我是真心的这也是句台词!你电视看太多了乔你要的鲜榨橙汁谢了!里面居然有果肉!不行吗我有言在先。我不喜欢果肉有果肉就不是汁要纯果汁你明白?对不起但我喜欢果肉对不起我真粗鲁。瑞秋,要喝点什么吗钱德会飞快跑去拿的冰茶好了冰茶先生您要点什么?我刚才不是告诉他了?你是说了钱德,这次听清楚!你想把果汁泼我身上对吗?这不是纯果汁!宝贝今早真有趣你洗澡的时候我跳到你身上也许我们家该有两个卫生间卡萝我想我们也许需要给生活加点调味料是什么呢卡萝最近我们的性生活不大和谐爸爸!!小伙子!嘿把鞋穿上怎么样?回房穿鞋给爸爸看!耶!耶!说真的也许我们也许该尝试一些新花样来找乐子比如说?互相捆绑?吃掉对方身上的食物是挺恶心的说些下流话或者“三人行”我喜欢!谁?是谁把故事卖给Archie漫画了!天啊太好了!你的作品出版了!真想送礼物给你!啊等一下!我最后一块奇巧!分吃如何?好呀!!嘿!钱德我知道你很生气我真的很抱歉我是混蛋不晓得分寸不过我真的讨厌果肉!你知道莫妮卡对低脂蛋黄酱的感觉对吧?那根本不是蛋黄酱!!我只想说对不起这是什么鲜榨橙汁带果肉的是你喜欢的那种!谢谢乔伊,钱德卖了篇故事给Archie漫画!恭喜你!太棒了!讲什么的?你不会喜欢的很傻的漫画书故事开什么玩笑!我爱Archie!里面所有角色我都爱!Archie需要钱修理破飞机但他不想接受Reggie的施舍于是Reggie雇他当助当管家之后指使他做很多蠢事例如叫他去拿没有煤块的奶昔等一下听来好耳熟!是不是登过这样的故事啊我想我读过!老莫我得打听清楚乔伊崔比昂尼邀我上他家他是不是常常带女孩回家?很多次!很多很多!而我居然是其中之一!难以置信和乔伊崔比昂尼!我无意多管闲事但你不是结婚了吗?我只是偶尔希望我没结过婚而已就是希望分手一阵子结婚有什么不好你是单身你多好可以和任何人上床!是啊!你还别不信我就是可以!一直和男人鬼混都可以!莫妮卡你做过的对吗?当然啦!你以为我是岁的老处女吗?天啊!你居然是岁的老处女!再大声点后面远处那个男人还没听见。(后面远处那个男人):我听见了我并非没有机会。我只是等待完美的男人。我不是在和罗杰医生约会吗?他很完美但……也许应该等待时机献出我的花朵天啊事不宜迟!你等太久了宝贝!你说得对!性没什么大不了!!不应该有什么规矩和限制!我们想跟谁睡就跟谁!瑞秋!但我还是认为你对丈夫不忠不太好你知道什么?老处女!菲比,洗手间里怎么冒烟?!大夫说这是治疗引起的副作用菲比!把烟熄掉!我没抽烟!冒烟的是我!熄掉它!!好吧!你来了可真好得了我知道你抽烟了给我有电话我来!你好她现在没法接电话没问题再见是工作的事?他们发火了?是杰克对吗?他吼叫了?放轻松没人吼叫。杰克打电话问候你的病情。谢天谢地没错她给解雇了威斯利医生你已经尽力了。让她走吧拜拜上帝保佑你布蕾蒂别急着下结论!威斯利瑞摩瑞!威斯利!我来告诉你你不配当医生!那女人的大脑没病!哦!幸好!霍普!霍普!缀克!你不会死了霍普你会长命百岁和我一起哦缀克好!我决定了!嗨,乔伊!我是瑞秋!我明晚有空。好的我带些三明治
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