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首页 Memoirs Of Fanny Hill,Cleland John 芬妮希尔回忆录.pdf

Memoirs Of Fanny Hill,Cleland John 芬妮希尔回忆录.pdf

Memoirs Of Fanny Hill,Cleland J…

上传者: 哓哓鸟_ 2011-10-07 评分 0 0 0 0 0 0 暂无简介 简介 举报

简介:本文档为《Memoirs Of Fanny Hill,Cleland John 芬妮希尔回忆录pdf》,可适用于文学艺术领域,主题内容包含MEMOIRSOFFANNYHILLByJohnClelandPreparedandPublishedby:EbdEBooksDirectoryco符等。

MEMOIRSOFFANNYHILLByJohnClelandPreparedandPublishedby:EbdEBooksDirectorycomLETTERTHEFIRSTIsitdowntogiveyouanundeniableproofofmyconsideringyourdesiresasindispensableordersUngraciousthenasthetaskmaybe,Ishallrecalltoviewthosescandalousstagesofmylife,outofwhichIemerged,atlength,totheenjoymentofeveryblessinginthepoweroflove,healthandfortunetobestowwhilstyetintheflowerofyouth,andnottoolatetoemploytheleisureaffordedmebygreateaseandaffluence,tocultivateanunderstanding,naturallynotadespicableone,andwhichhad,evenamidstthewhirlofloosepleasuresIhadbeentossedin,exertedmoreobservationonthecharactersandmannersoftheworldthanwhatiscommontothoseofmyunhappyprofession,who,lookingonallthoughorreflectionastheircapitalenemy,keepitatasgreatadistanceastheycan,ordestroyitwithoutmercyHating,asImortallydo,alllongunnecessaryprefaces,Ishallgiveyougoodquarterinthis,andusenofartherapology,thantoprepareyouforseeingtheloosepartofmylife,writtenwiththesamelibertythatIleditTruth!stark,nakedtruth,isthewordandIwillnotsomuchastakethepainstobestowthestripofagauzewrapperonit,butpaintsituationssuchastheyactuallyrosetomeinnature,carelessofviolatingthoselawsofdecencythatwerenevermadeforsuchunreservedintimaciesasoursandyouhavetoomuchsense,toomuchknowledgeoftheoriginals,tosniffprudishlyandoutofcharacteratthepicturesofthemThegreatestmen,thoseofthefirstandmostleadingtaste,willnotscrupleadorningtheirprivateclosetswithnudities,though,incompliancewithvulgarprejudices,theymaynotthinkthemdecentdecorationsofthestaircase,orsalonThis,andenough,premised,IgosouseintomypersonalhistoryMymaidennamewasFrancesHillIwasbornatasmallvillagenearLiverpool,inLancashire,ofparentsextremelypoor,and,Ipiouslybelieve,extremelyhonestMyfather,whohadreceivedamaimonhislimbs,thatdisabledhimfromfollowingthemorelaboriousbranchesofcountrydrudgery,got,bymakingnets,ascantysubsistence,whichwasnotmuchenlargedbymymother'skeepingalittledayschoolforthegirlsinherneighborhoodTheyhadhadseveralchildrenbutnonelivedtoanyageexceptmyself,whohadreceivedfromnatureaconstitutionperfectlyhealthyMyeducation,tillpastfourteen,wasnobetterthanveryvulgar:reading,orratherspelling,anillegiblescrawl,andalittleordinaryplainwork,composedthewholesystemofitandthenallmyfoundationinvirtuewasnootherthanatotalignoranceofvice,andtheshytimiditygeneraltooursex,inthetenderageoflife,whenobjectsalarmorfrightenmorebytheirnoveltythananythingelseButthen,thisisafeartoooftencuredattheexpenseofinnocence,whenMiss,bydegrees,beginsnolongertolookonamanasacreatureofpreythatwilleatherMypoormotherhaddividedhertimesoentirelybetweenherscholarsandherlittledomesticcares,thatshehadsparedverylittletomyinstruction,having,fromherowninnocencefromallill,nohintorthoughtofguardingmeagainstanyIwasnowenteringonmyfifteenthyear,whentheworstofillsbefellmeinthelossofmyfond,tenderparents,whowerebothcarriedoffbythesmallpox,withinafewdaysofeachothermyfatherdyingfirst,andtherebybyhasteningthedeathofmymother:sothatIwasnowleftanunhappyfriendlessorphan(formyfather'scomingtosettlethere,wasaccidental,hebeingoriginallyaKentisrman)Thatcrueldistemperwhichhadprovedsofataltothem,hadindeedseizedme,butwithsuchmildandfavourablesymptoms,thatIwaspresentlyoutofdanger,andwhatthenIdidnotknowthevalueof,wasentirelyunmarkedIskipoverhereanaccountofthenaturalgriefandafflictionwhichIfeltonthismelancholyoccasionAlittletime,andthegiddinessofthatage,dissipatedtoosoonmyreflectionsonthatirreparablelossbutnothingcontributedmoretoreconcilemetoit,thanthenotionsthatwereimmediatelyputintomyhead,ofgoingtoLondon,andlookingoutforaservice,inwhichIwaspromisedallassistanceandadvicefromoneEstherDavis,ayoungwomanthathadbeerdowntoseeherfriends,andwho,afterthestayofafewdays,wasreturnedtoherplaceAsIhadnownobodyleftaliveinthevillage,whohadconcernedenoughaboutwhatshouldbecomeofme,tostartanyobjectionstothisscheme,andthewomanwhotookcareofmeaftermyparents'death,ratherencouragedmetopursueit,Isooncametoaresolutionofmakingthislaunchintothewideworld,byrepairingtoLondon,inordertoseekmyfortune,aphrasewhich,bythebye,hasruinedmoreadventurersofbothsexes,fromthecountry,thaneveritmadeoradvancedNordidEstherDavisalittlecomfortandinspiritmetoventurewithher,bypiquingmychildishcuriositywiththefinesightsthatweretobeseeninLondon:theTombs,theLions,theKing,theRoyalFamily,thefinePlaysandOperas,and,inshort,allthediversionswhichfellwithinhersphereoflifetocomeatthedetailofallwhichperfectlyturnedthelittleheadofmeNorcanIremember,withoutlaughing,theinnocentadmiration,notwithoutaspiceofenvy,withwhichwepoorgirls,whosechurchgoingclothesdidnotriseabovedowlasshiftsandstuffgowns,beplacedwithsilver:allwhichweimaginedgrewinLondon,andenteredforagreatdealintomydeterminationoftryingtocomeinformyshareofthemTheideahoweverofhavingthecompanyofatownswomanwithher,wasthetrivial,andallthemotivesthatengagedEsthertotakechargeofmeduringmyjourneytotown,whereshetoldme,afterthemannerandstyle,"ashowseveralmaidsoutofthecountryhadmadethemselvesandalltheirkindforever:thatbypreservingtheirvirtue,somehadtakensowiththeirmasters,thattheyhadmarriedthem,andkeptthemcoaches,andlivedvastlygrandandhappyandsome,mayhap,cametobeDuchessesluckwasall,andwhynotI,aswellasanother"withotheralmanacstothispurpose,whichsetmeatiptoetobeginthispromisingjourney,andtoleaveaplacewhich,thoughmynativeone,containednorelationsthatIhadreasontoregret,andwasgrowninsupportabletome,fromthechangeofthetenderestusageintoacoldairofcharity,withwhichIwasentertained,evenattheonlyfriend'shousethatIhadtheleastexpectationofcareandprotectionfromShewas,however,sojusttome,astomanagetheturningintomoneythelittlemattersthatremainedtomeafterthedebtsandburialchargeswereallowedfor,and,atmydeparture,putmywholefortuneintomyhandswhichconsistedofaveryslenderwardrobe,packedupinaveryportablebox,andeightguineas,withseventeenshillingsinsilver,stowedinaspringpouch,whichwasagreatertreasurethanIeverhadseentogether,andwhichIcouldnotconceivetherewasapossibilityofrunningoutandindeed,Iwassoentirelytakenupwiththejoyofseeingmyselfmistressofsuchanimmencesum,thatIgaveverylittleattentiontoaworldofgoodadvicewhichwasgivenmewithitPlaces,then,beingtakenforEstherandmeintheChesterwaggon,Ipassoveraveryimmaterialsceneofleavetaking,atwhichIdropedafewtearsbetwixtgriefandjoyand,forthesamereasonsofinsignificance,skipoverallthathappenedtomeontheroad,suchasthewaggoner'slookingliquorishonme,theschemeslaidformebysomeofthepassengers,whichweredefeatedbythevalianceofmyguardianEstherwho,todoherjustice,tookamotherlycareofme,atthesametimethatshetaxedmefortheprotectionbymakingmebearalltravellingcharges,whichIdefrayedwiththeunmostcheerfulness,andthoughtmyselfmuchobligedtoherintothebargainShetookindeedgreatcarethatwewerenotoverrated,orimposedon,aswellasofmanagingasfrugallyaspossibleexpensivenesswasnotherviceItwasprettylateinasummereveningwhenwereachedthetown,inourslowconveyance,thoughdrawnbysixatlengthAswepassedthroughthegreateststreetsthatledtoourinn,thenoise,ofthecoaches,thehurry,thecrowdsoffootpassengers,inshort,thenewsceneryoftheshopsandhouses,atoncepleasedandamazedmeButguessatmymortificationandsurprisewhenwecametotheinn,andourthingswerelandedanddeliveredtous,whenmyfellowtravellerandprotectress,EstherDavis,whohadusedmewiththeutmosttendernessduringthejourney,andpreparedmebynopreceedingssignsforthestunningblowIwastoreceive,whenIsay,myonlydependenceandfriend,inthisstrangeplace,allofasuddenassumedastrangeandcoolairtowardsme,asifshedreadedmybecomingaburdentoherInstead,then,ofprofferingmethecontinuanceofherassistanceandgoodoffices,whichIreliedupon,andnevermorewanted,shethoughtherself,itseems,abundantlyacquittedofherengagementstome,byhavingbroughtmesafetomyjourney'send,andseeingnothinginherproceduretowardsmebutwhatnaturalandinorder,begantoembracemebythewayoftakingleave,whilstIwassoconfounded,sostruck,thatIhadnotspiritorsenseenoughsomuchastomentionmyhopesorexpectationsfromherexperience,andknowledgeoftheplaceshehadbroughtmetoWhilstIstoodthusstupidandmute,whichshedoubtlessattributedtonothingmorethanaconcernatparting,thisideaprocuredmeperhapsaslightalleviationofit,inthefollowingharangue:"ThatnowweweregotsafetoLondon,andthatshewasobligedtogotoherplace,sheadvisedmebyallmeanstogetintooneassoonaspossiblethatIneednotfeargettingonethereweremoreplacesthanparishchurchesthatsheadvisedmetogotoanintelligenceofficethatifsheheardofanythingstirring,shewouldfindmeoutandletmeknowthatinthemeantime,Ishouldtakeaprivatelodging,andacquaintherwheretosendtomethatshewishedmegoodluck,andhopedIshouldalwayshavethegracetokeepmyselfhonest,andnotbringingadisgraceonmyparentage"Withthisshetookherleaveofme,andleftme,asitwere,onmyownhands,fullaslightlyasIhadbeenputintohersLeftthusalone,absolutelydestituteandfriendlessIbeganthentofeelmostbitterlytheseverityofthisseparation,thesceneofwhichhadpassedinalittleroomintheinnandnosoonerwasherbackturned,buttheafflictionIfeltatmyhelplessstrangecircumstances,burstoutintoafloodoftears,whichinfinitelyrelievedtheoppressionofmyheartthoughIstillremainedstupified,andmostperfectlyperplexedhowtodisposeofmyselfOneofthewaiterscomingin,addedyetmoretomyuncertainty,byaskingme,inashortway,ifIcalledforanythingtowhichIrepliedinnocently:"No"ButIwishedhimtotellmewhereImightgetalodgingforthatnightHesaidhewouldgoandspeaktohismistress,whoaccordinglycame,andtoldmedrily,withoutenteringintheleastintothedistressshesawmein,thatImighthaveabedforashilling,andthat,asshesupposedIhadsomefriendsintown(thereIfetchedadeepsighinvain!),ImightprovideformyselfinthemorningItisincrediblewhattriflingconsolationsthehumanmindwillseizeinitsgreatestafflictionsTheassuranceofnothingmorethanabedtolieonthatnight,calmedmyagoniesandbeingashamedtoacquaintthemistressoftheinnthatIhadnofriendstoapplytointown,Iproposedtomyselftoproceed,theverynextmorning,toanintelligenceoffice,towhichIwasfurnishedwithwrittendirectionsonthebackofaballad,EstherhadgivenmeThereIcountedongettinginformationofanyplacethatsuchacountrygirlasImightbefitfor,andwhereIcouldgetintoanysortofbeing,beforemylittlestockshouldbeconsumedandastoacharacter,Estherhadoftenrepeatedtome,thatImightdependonhermanagingmeonenor,howeveraffectedIwasatherleavingmethus,didIentirelyceasetorelyonher,asIbegantothink,goodnaturedly,thatherprocedurewasallincourse,andthatiswasonlymyignoranceoflifethathadmademetakeitinthelightIatfirstdidAccordingly,thenextmorningIdressedmyselfascleanandasneatasmyrusticwardrobewouldpermitmeandhavingleftmybox,withspecialrecommendation,withthelandlady,Iventuredoutbymyself,andwithoutanymoredifficultythancanbesupposedofayoungcountrygirl,barelyfifteen,andtowhomeverysignorshopwasagazingtrap,IgottothewishedforintelligenceofficeItwaskeptbyanelderlywoman,whosatatthereceiptofcustom,withabookbeforeheringreatformandorder,andseveralscrollsmadeout,ofdirectionsforplacesImadeupthentothisimportantpersonage,withoutliftingupmyeyesorobservinganyofthepeopleroundme,whowereattendingthereonthesameerrandasmyself,anddroppinghercurtsiesninedeep,justmadeashifttostammeroutmybusinesstoherMadamheardmeout,withallthegravityandbrowofapettyministerofState,andseeingatoneglanceovermyfigurewhatIwas,mademenoanswer,buttoaskmethepreliminaryshilling,onreceiptofwhichshetoldmeplacesforwomentooslightbuiltforhardwork:butthatshewouldlookoverherbook,andseewhatwastobedoneforme,desiringmetostayalittle,tillshehaddispatchedsomeothercustomersOnthisIdrewbackalittle,mostheartilymortifiedatadeclarationwhichcarriedwithitakillinguncertainly,thatmycircumstancescouldnotwellendurePresently,assumingmorecourage,andseekingsomediversionfrommyuneasythoughts,Iventuredtoliftupmyheadalittle,andsentmyeyesonacourseroundtheroom,wheretheymetfulltiltwiththoseofalady(forsuchmyextremeinnocencepronouncedher)sittinginacorneroftheroom,dressedinavelvetmantle(inthemidstofsummer),withherbonnetoffsquat,fat,redfaced,andatleastfiftyShelookedasifshewoulddevourmewithhereyes,staringatmefromheadtofoot,withouttheleastregardtotheconfusionandblusheshereyeingmesofixedlyputmeto,andwhichweretoher,nodoubt,thestrongestrecommendationandmarksofmybeingfitforherpurposeAfteralittletime,inwhichmyair,personandwholefigurehadundergoneastrictexamination,whichIhad,onmypart,triedtorenderfavourabletome,byprimming,drawingupmyneck,andsettingmybestlooks,sheadvancedandspoketomewiththegreatestdemureness:"Sweetheart,doyouwantaplace"Yes,andpleaseyou,"(withacurtseydowntotheground)Uponthissheacquaintedmeshewasactuallycometotheofficeherself,tolookoutforaservantthatshebelievedImightdo,withalittleofherinstructionthatshecouldtakemyverylooksforasufficientcharacterthatLondonwasaverywicked,vile,placethatshehopedIwouldbetractable,andkeepoutofbadcompanyinshort,shesaidalltomethatanoldexperiencedpractitionerintowncouldthinkof,andwhichwasmuchmorethanwasnecessarytotakeinanartlessinexperiencedcountrymaid,whowasevenafraidofbecomingawandereraboutthestreets,andthereforegladlyjumpedatthefirstofferofashelter,especiallyfromsograveandmatronlikealady,forsuchmyflatteringfancyassuredmethisnewmistressofminewas,Ibeingactuallyhiredunderthenoseofthegoodwomanthatkepttheoffice,whoseshrewedsmilesandshrugsIcouldnothelpobserving,andinnocentlyinterpretedthemasmarksofbeingpleasedatmygettingintoplacesosoon:but,asIafterwardscametoknow,theseBeldamsunderstoodoneanotherverywell,andthiswasamarketwhereMrsBrown,mymistress,frequentlyattended,onthewatchforanyfreshgoodsthatmightofferthere,fortheuseofhercustomers,andherownprofitMadamwas,however,sowellpleasedwithherbargainthatfearingIpresume,lestbetteradviceorsomeaccidentmightoccasionmyslippingthroughherfingers,shewouldofficiouslytakemeinacoachtomyinn,where,callingherselfformybox,itwas,Ibeingpresent,deliveredwithouttheleastscrupleorexplanationastowhereIwasgoingThisbeingover,shebidthecoachmandrivetoashopinStPaul'sChurchyard,wheresheboughtapairofgloves,whichshegaveme,andthencerenewedherdirectionstothecoachmantodrivetoherhouseinstreet,whoaccordinglylandedusatthedoor,afterIhadbeencheeredupandentertainedbythewaywiththemostplausibleflams,withoutonesyllablefromwhichIcouldconcludeanythingbutthatIwas,bythegreatestluck,fallenintothehandsofkindestmistress,nottosayfriend,thatthevastworldcouldaffordandaccordinglyIenteredherdoorswithmostcompleteconfidenceandexultation,promising,myselfthat,assoonasIcouldbealittlesettled,IwouldacquaintEstherDaviswithmyraregoodfortuneYoumaybesurethegoodopinionofmyplacewasnotlessenedbytheappearanceofaveryhandsomebackparlor,intowhichIwasledandwhichseemedtomemagnificentlyfurnished,whohadneverseenbetterroomsthantheordinaryonesininnsupontheroadThereweretwogiltpierglasses,andabuffet,onwhichafewpiecesofplate,setouttothemostshew,dazzled,andaltogetherpersuadedmethatImustbegotintoaveryreputablefamilyHeremymistressfirstbeganherpart,withtellingmethatImusthavegoodspirits,andlearntobefreewithherthatshehadnottakenmetobeacommonservant,tododomesticdrudgery,buttobeakindofcompaniontoherandthatifIwouldbeagoodgirl,shewoulddomorethantwentymothersformetoallwhichIansweredonlybytheprofoundestandtheawkwardestcurtsies,andafewmonosyllables,suchas"'yes!no!tobesure!"Presentlymymistresstouchedthebell,andincameastrappingmaidservant,whohadletusin"Here,Martha,"saidMrsBrown,"IhavejusthiredthisyoungwomantolookaftermylinensostepupandshowherherchamberandIchargeyoutouseherwithasmuchrespectasyouwouldmyself,forIhavetakenaprodigiouslikingtoher,andIdonotknowwhatIshalldoforher"Martha,whowasanarchjade,and,beingusedtothisdecoy,hadhercueperfect,mademeakindofhalfcurtsy,andaskedmetowalkupwithherandaccordinglyshowedmeaneatroom,twopairofstairsbackwards,inwhichtherewasahandsomebed,whereMarthatoldmeIwastoliewithayounggentlewoman,acousinofmymistress,whoshewassurewouldbevastlygoodtomeThensheranoutintosuchaffectedencomiumsonhergoodmistress!hersweetmistress!andhowhappyIwastolightuponher!andthatIcouldnothavebespokeabetterwithotherthelikegrossstuff,suchaswoulditselfhavestartedsuspicionsinanybutsuchanunpractisedsimpleton,whowasperfectlynewtolife,andwhotookeverywordshesaidintheverysenseshelaidoutformetotakeitbutshereadilysawwhatapenetrationshehadtodealwith,andmeasuredmeveryrig

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